Sunday, October 18, 2015

Girls are psychologically soft

And it's really not their fault. It's the fault of those who have overpraised them since they were in kindergarten:
Judith was an overachiever with a problem. A college freshman, she loved psychology but was determined to get straight A's. When she got only B's, she was despondent -- and left the field entirely.

As we wrestle with the question of how women achieve success, we've spilled more ink on whether women believe in themselves and not enough on what happens when women fail.

Success is not just about taking a seat at the proverbial table. It requires adopting the belief that if you say the wrong thing, or do poorly initially, you will bounce back and try again. Confidence is impossible when you interpret failure as a pronouncement about your own potential.

To hear the headlines tell it, girls are the undisputed leaders in American classrooms. They have higher GPAs than boys and attend colleges and graduate schools in greater numbers. In part, this is because girls excel at the self-discipline required of students. Indeed, if life were one long grade-school, girls would rule the world.

But what seems to serve girls so well in the routinized world of school undermines them as they enter the unpredictable and challenge-ridden world of young adulthood.

Earlier this year, Harvard University professor Claudia Goldin found that women were dropping out of undergraduate economics courses when they failed to score As. The are missing out on a highly rewarding profession. Meanwhile, their male counterparts stuck with the major, apparently weathering lackluster GPAs for an anticipated payoff down the road.
Of course, this also explains why women so often try to turn everything into grade-school, complete with an all-controlling authority figure; it's the one environment in which they feel reasonably confident of succeeding by means of blind obedience and effort.

37 comments:

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Yep

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"this also explains why women so often try to turn everything into grade-school"

Bingo. Girls make excellent followers and supporters. They thrive in an authoritarian environment. As White men have lost all authority, our women have switched their allegiance and loyalty to the State and by extension to non-white men.

Desiderius said...

"succeeding by means of blind obedience and effort"

I little effort here, a little gossip there, a little false accusation/insinuation, a little affirmative action and pretty soon she's getting somewhere...

Tom K. said...

What will the "system" do when it discovers IT is to blame for the melting of the little snowflakes' hopes and dreams? Will it admit it's culpability? Confess its guilt and repent? It will it Doubledown on its efforts to rig the game in the girls' favor?

Men are rejecting this system because they recognize not only that it's a fixed game, but the promised rewards aren't worth achieving.

When the housing market collapsed and the credit rating of millions was destroyed, the industry adapted by simply ignoring a foreclosure on an otherwise good credit report.

Question: How long will it take businesses, now so obsessed with college degrees to realize their best candidates don't have one or want to get one and come up with an acceptable alternative?

We live in interesting times.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Anyone here ever been involved in a D/s relationship with a woman? It's remarkable how soft and pliable they can be.

Tom Arrow said...

Nice.

Women seem to be good at memorizing repetitive bullshit. Let them have that. Give them all the affirmation they want. But leave them out of the job market. And leave men out of grade-school.

Tom Arrow said...

Laguna Beach Fogey, I find that concept interesting. Can you recommend a path to take if I am interested in such a thing?

Tom K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ron said...

"Of course, this also explains why women so often try to turn everything into grade-school, complete with an all-controlling authority figure; it's the one environment in which they feel reasonably confident of succeeding by means of blind obedience and effort."

ie, a father or a proper husband.

Unfortunately, we have allowed the snake to seduce us into allowing women to have "power".

They never wanted power. They really wanted us to pass the shit test, pat them on the head and say "how cute, but not now sweetie, daddy is busy with man work".

Michael Maier said...

"And it's really not their fault. It's the fault of those who have overpraised them since they were in kindergarten:"

I'd say since birth.

Michael Maier said...

It amuses me to read this piece though. My mother and her sister both "ran" offices. As secretaries.

Neither ever seemed to make a single decision or take responsibility for anything, but both thought they were overworked and underpaid.

It strikes me as why women become nurses. It's an important job that needs doing, but little responsibility or accountability.

Seriously, I've never heard of a nurse sued for malpractice.

Cadders said...

As I have said elsewhere before; being born with a penis means two things;

1) After you have left your mother's tender embrace, no one will ever, truly, give a flying fuck about you.
2) This only makes you a victim if you choose to be one.

Girls and women never have to deal with #1 so never see the choice in #2.

Dexter said...

How does one teach a daughter not to quit because she got a B?

For that matter, how do you teach a son to do this?

What good methods are there to inculcate persistence?

I am sure all these overachiever girls who quit did competitive sports and played musical instruments for years, so that's not the answer.

Unknown said...

Easy to teach a son not to quit: a little cajoling, a little yelling, some light threats, some teaching and shaming about quitting will work. That's what coaching is all about. Learn to coach a sport or an activity. Boys do fine in that frame work.

If, as a coach, you yell at a girl, she'll burst into tears. Its all about social interaction and self-esteem for girls. The most successful women athletes are those who grew up competing with brothers. Brothers don't care about social esteem, they just want to beat the hell out of each other and any sibling who joins in the fun, male or female.

Doctor_ Mayhem said...

"Judith was an overachiever with a problem. A college freshman, she loved psychology but was determined to get straight A's. When she got only B's, she was despondent -- and left the field entirely."

Good. God knows we have way too many psychologists and way too many girls with useless degrees. Maybe she'll find a husband and have kids, instead.

bw said...

turn everything into grade-school, complete with an all-controlling authority figure

Globalism, anyone?

Retrenched said...

"What will the "system" do when it discovers IT is to blame for the melting of the little snowflakes' hopes and dreams? Will it admit it's culpability? Confess its guilt and repent? It will it Doubledown on its efforts to rig the game in the girls' favor?"

If you're smart enough to be reading this blog then you already know the answer to that.

Aeoli Pera said...

Anyone here ever been involved in a D/s relationship with a woman? It's remarkable how soft and pliable they can be.

From the sidelines, it would appear that the only way to get 95% of modern American women to act right in a relationship is to convince them it's just a fun sex thing.

Derrick Bonsell said...

I suppose I can't really fault women for leaving fields like economics, I sure failed more than enough times, but if the reason is that they haven't achieved perfection, well that's a mindset I just don't understand.

MidKnight (#138) said...

Aeoli - well said, and a damnably funny observation.

Hammerli280 said...

Dexter, it's cultural. Marinate a kid in stories about heroes who prevailed through persistence, and that child will do well. The response to failure is to reattack. Keep pounding. Hang on tooth and toenail, prevail, and cram crow down the doubter's throats.

SciVo said...

If an above-average boy is getting As, then he is likely also bored and needs a bigger challenge; if an above-average girl is getting Bs, then she is likely also anxious and needs a smaller one. The obvious solution is to segregate the sexes, so that the girls can get the grades and approval they crave, and the boys can get the learning and aggressiveness they need.

Perhaps there could be an exception for the bored girls, with aggressive daily quizzing to weed out the fakes that were counting on getting guys to do their homework. But no coddling wusses on the boys' side.

I neither know nor care whether the upslope of the bell curve should be co-educated, as I doubt they would learn much either way, unless they bring back shop class and home-ec.

liberranter said...

Good. God knows we have way too many psychologists and way too many girls with useless degrees.

Indeed.

Maybe she'll find a husband and have kids, instead.

I rather doubt it. Women who are "driven" or "ambitious" wouldn't stand for being "mere" wives and mothers (**GAG! The horror!**). More obviously, no self-respecting man wants a frustrated Type-A bitch for a wife.

Woman like this are doomed to remain single careerists, eventually slaving away at a job (they'll lie to themselves and call it a "career") that they despise, but are too stubborn and proud to admit their misery or that they made wrong choices in their lives based on misplaced priorities.

maniacprovost said...

Female fear -> fear of failure -> make failure impossible -> authoritarian socialism. Makes sense.

Jack Amok said...

Of course, this also explains why women so often try to turn everything into grade-school, complete with an all-controlling authority figure; it's the one environment in which they feel reasonably confident of succeeding by means of blind obedience and effort.

Not to mention a little flirting with the authority figure, while their looks last anyway.

How does one teach a daughter not to quit because she got a B?

For that matter, how do you teach a son to do this?


They need to know two things: they can survive failure, and they can do better next time. Part of that is letting them know when they failed - you can't sugar coat it and tell them they really won when they didn't. Yeah, yeah, girls cry if you scold them - too damn bad. They can and do learn to wipe away their tears and do better next time. Letting everybody - including the girl in question - be held hostage to a girl's tears is a disaster. Young women - even more so than young men - need to have their egos bruised. Not demolished, but they can't grow up thinking they're infallible.

When they're still maturing, you've got to kick them when they're up, and pick them up when they're down.

JP said...

The best example of girl-meets-harsh-reality in recent memory was this debate between Milo and some female "academic". The look on her face as she encounters real opposition for the first time in her life is priceless.

Oliver Märk said...

Winners win. Winners also lose but they know how to lose. Loser don’t know how to lose. Winning and losing are both part of the game. But to avoid losing at all cost on the level of society would mean to creat a system where nobody can lose – but that also means that winning becomes impossible. The consequences are a cultural decline and the bankupcy of the whole community. Who with a working brain could want such a thing?

From http://freedompowerandwealth.com

buzzardist said...

@Dexter

How to train kids not to give up? Competitive sports in high school are too late. Virtues are largely set in kids by 8 years old. Here are ten suggestions (split into two posts):

1) Have a lot of kids (bare minimum of three, preferably four or more). Don't spread them out too far in age. Sibling interactions go far in teaching strong virtues.

Related to this, oldest children (especially boys) tend to be more cautious and unwilling to fail, whether they have younger siblings or not. Second kids, especially second sons in a large family, tend to be fearless and tenacious, taking any risk to keep up with big brother, without ever being coddled as the baby of the family

2) Don't send kids to a preschool where they teach only virtues like sharing and friendship. Yes, these are virtues, too. Kids need to learn them. They also need to learn tenacity and how to work toward difficult goals. Most preschools won't provide this, especially since the teachers are all women.

3) Make sure your kids have at least one teacher who is a man by the time they are seven years old. And by "man," I do not mean a male who treats the kids just as a woman does. In America, sorry to say, male teachers of any kind in early elementary are vanishingly rare. Male teachers who behave as men are even rarer. To the extent that men encourage much more risk tolerance than women do and demand much more responsibility for one’s actions, kids need such influences, especially at younger ages.

4) Raise your kids at home for at least their first five years. Make sure both the husband and wife are consciously aware of what they're trying to teach the kids, how to teach it, and why it's important.

5) Make sure young kids have plenty of dad-only time. Sorry, moms, but you tend to be risk averse. You'll shut down risky play way before dad does. Dads alone with kids at a park will have little kids precariously perched halfway up a jungle gym, even though the kids are way too little to climb on their own, let alone do it safely. When both dad and mom are present, dad will start helping the little kids climb, only to have mom freak out before kids get very high. When mom is at the park without dad, the little kids won't reach the first rung. Are all moms and dads this way? No, but it's a strong tendency. Regardless, kids need as much dad time as mom time, from infancy on up. Create times when the whole family is together. Create times when it's dad and the kids. Create times when it's mom and the kids. Create time when it's dad or mom with just one kid.

6) Give young children meaningful chances to fail. By "meaningful," I mean situations where kids make a choice to do something, and it has the risk of failure. Putting a kid into a rec soccer league is not a choice for the child. It's something imposed by the parents. The effect is made worse when parents and coaches then praise the child's participation, not hard work leading to results.

At a toddler stage, this may mean letting a shaky new walker try to walk up a hill on an uneven surface, even though it's plain to any adult that the child will fall down. At most, warn the child, "Are you O.K.? That looks hard to climb. Be careful, and try hard!" Obviously, don't put kids in situations where they will seriously harm themselves, but let them get bumps and bruises. When they do, comfort them, be excited about the task they were attempting, and get them to start trying again right away. Maybe the toddler needs to hold onto dad's hand this time? That's O.K. The goal is to climb that hill. Persistence and learning how to obtain help are important virtues. At every stage as they get older, expose kids to situations where they will face physical, intellectual, and moral tasks that they, of their own choosing, want to do. Allow them to fail in these tasks, and be there to pick up the pieces and then help them try again.

buzzardist said...

7) When children mess up or hurt someone, make them apologize. Pride impedes the will to try in the face of failure. I don't care if a child holds out an hour, a day, a week, or longer. From the time children can say the words, "I'm sorry," insist that they do so and correspondingly change their behavior. Some sorries are easy to say. It's the ones that are painful to say that kids most need to say. Overcoming pride to admit wrongdoing is dealing with failure. The ability to reliably deal with moral or social failure will train the child how to defeat pride and respond healthily to other kinds of failure.

8) Don't overpraise. Let praise match the accomplishment. Praise only actual accomplishments. Build into the praise recognition of what the child should aim for next. Don't restrict praise to end results. A kid is trying to hit a baseball, but isn't watching the ball to the bat? Don't praise him when he's still not watching the ball and hits it out of sheer luck. Criticize that--"You got lucky on that one, but you'll never hit one ball in ten swinging that way. No. Try again. Watch the ball the whole way! Watch the bat hit the ball!" When the kid does finally watch the ball but misses, offer praise--"Good. You were watching. That's how it's done. Nobody hits the ball every time. Again! Keep watching the ball, and let’s get that bat to the same place where the ball is!" For the kid watching the ball and finally getting a hit, "Good. You got it. Now let's do it more until it's habit!" For this process praise, put the emotional emphasis on what's to be done next. Save the special, unrestricted praise for when the kid or his team actually achieves something special--"Wow, great job! All that hard work, and look what you've done! I'm proud of you." Let a child share accomplishments with others, but don't praise the child to others in a way that fosters pride. Don't let kids rest on their laurels for more than a day.

9) Let kids play. "Play" doesn't mean putting them always in hyper-supervised environments. Soccer practice is not playtime. Playtime is giving a kid a room full of blocks, cars, action figures, etc., and leaving him to make something out of it. It's letting kids run around without close supervision in the yard, park, or woods. Even video games are unable to give the full experience of being able to do and explore anything. Yes, keep kids from unreasonable risks. Yes, kids also need structured environments at times. But situations where kids can do anything, have no expectations from adults placed on them, have no immediate adult safety net beneath them, and can explore and experiment freely are important for developing the willingness to try, fail, and learn.

10) When kids want something, make them work for it. Make that work directly relate to what they want, if possible. The kid wants a computer? Making him pay for it (or at least part of it) is the minimal lesson (work hard, save money, and get something valuable). Making him build the computer from components is a much better lesson (work hard, save money, learn about a thing deeply, make detailed choices with your limited resources, build something with patience, and enjoy the results of hard work and valuable skills, all with the risk of royally screwing up and bricking your machine).

This isn’t just for big things. My two-year-old today was hungry, so I had her help me. My daughter learned how to open the refrigerator first before putting the stepstool down so that she could reach the cheese, after first failing with stool blocking the door. She learned patience and doing tasks in steps. She learned that cutting with sharp knives is not for two-year-olds. She learned the uncertainty of how ingredients and spices in a fry pan will turn out. If I or my wife had just handed her a plate of food and been done with it, no opportunity for exploration and perseverance would have been open to her.

Mr.MantraMan said...

As for the essay just above this comment give your kid(s) a cardboard box and some duct tape and then go watch some football. Basically what I did for my wonderful step kid who had been spoiled by buying the usual assortment of kiddie trash, so one Xmas I went out and bought several rolls of tape wrapped them up in a 12 pack box and voila great gift idea is born. Day after Xmas the usual assortment of kids over to brag about Icrap and they all ended up playing with the duct tape and cardboard boxes using something called their imagination.

Got a boy, then go to the used sporting good store buy a used football, basketball or soccerball wrap it up, best Xmas gift ever. But only if when it is being unwrapped Dad acts like an alpha male who can keep his bitches in line when they whine about the cheapness as compared to Icrap.

Mr.MantraMan said...

Got an out of control filly or mare, and you need her to find her rightful place in line, then ask her to make a decision or a series of them one after another, if you have found the rare filly or mare who can actually take a decision then you have to heap accountability or the threat of accountability upon her hopefully slim shoulders.

Or if you are cuckservative try using logic and reason, if you are a hopeless libtard gamma try acting like a shemale, but my guess is that you had better get used to the idea that "masturbation is a natural outlet for the lonely man" if you are one of the above.

Durandel Almiras said...

I agree that women are psychologicaly softer...but both sexes in the West, in former Christendom are soft compared to elsewhere and their own ancestors. Our culture makes us weak because it is sick.

maniacprovost said...

My daughter learned how to open the refrigerator

And you think this is a good idea? So much for drinking milk for the next three years.

buzzardist said...

And you think this is a good idea? So much for drinking milk for the next three years.

Using kids' natural curiosity to help build determination obviously has its consequences.

But, hey, when a kid is already trying to do something on her own that she sees everyone else doing, a parent is left with two choices: impose a rule based arbitrarily on size/age of "No, you're not allowed to do this," or try to support learning to do the task the right way. In this case, I went with the latter. You and my wife are free to take shots at me for the next couple years every time this backfires.

Cricket Betting Badshah said...

Useful tips, advice, information for profitable cricket wagering. Complete sport betting instructions at online cricket betting tips.

lolyta said...

I came across the serach engine and find your website, you have great and nice blog, Thanks for sharing, God

bless you
Pingback : HARGA VIMAX IZON
HARGA VIMAX IZON ASLI
OBAT VIMAX HERBAL
VIMAX IZON ASLI
AGEN VIMAX


http://vimaxizoncanada.com/

vimax izon asli
jual vimax izon
harga vimax izon
vimax izon canada
vimax izon Original
khasiat vimax canada
vimax izon
vimax izon


RAHASIADEWASA.NET

PERANGSANG WANITA
opium spray
opium spray asli
jual opium spray
OBAT PERANGSANG WANITA
MAXMAN CAPSULE
PRO

EXTENDER

selaput dara buatan
selaput dara keperawanan


ALATSEXIMPORT.COM

ALAT BANTU SEX
JUAL ALAT SEX IMPORT
TOKO ALAT BANTU SEX IMPORT
PENGHILANG DAN PENGHAPUS TATTO PERMANEN
ALAT SEX UNTUK BDSM
BONEKA SEX KOREA FULL BODI
ALAT ONANI PRIA

OPIUM SPRAY

Vmenplus Herbal
Vmenplus
Vmenplus import
Vmenplus Asli
Vmenplus herbal
Obat Vmenplus

YIH said...

“Nobody ever explicitly said, ‘Oh you’re a survivor, we can’t date,’” she told me. “But they’d assume that I was just doing this for attention, or more frequently they didn’t want to deal with it. It was too much. They assumed I’d have a lot of needs.”
No shit Sherlock, if she says 'rape victim' or 'daddy touched me' (genuine or more likely not) that pretty much screams ''needy'' for a white knight.
Any guy that dates, screws or worse, marries her is going to wind up like this guy who figured the best path through the minefield is the straight line - regardless of the consequences.

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.