Friday, October 2, 2015

Delta Man: A simple plan

I heard Milo Yiannopoulos mention yesterday there are three ways guys can improve their odds with women and every guy can do at least one of them.
  • Make a lot of money.
  • Be really funny.
  • Hit the gym and get a great physique.
I agree, but want to cover what this means in the real world. The most important thing to remember is that these things aren’t binary, as in you look like a Greek god or you are a fat-neckbeard.
  1. Money – This is by far the most reliable and simplest way to attract a women as they are naturally drawn to the security wealth can bring. In practical terms if you want women 5+ you need to have a middle class income or higher for your part of the world. It’s not a straight linear progression as you make more though. For instance if you made $40K this year and then $50K the next you aren’t going to see the same percentage of increase in female attraction. If you went from $40K to $100K all of the sudden things change dramatically. What you are really doing is moving social class from middle to upper-middle and it will show. If you make less than middle class income you are going to have to improve your life in another area if you want average women.
  2. Humor – Forget about it unless you are funny enough to reliably and consistently get a good belly laugh from your friends with your comments. Being funny is not being able to recite Monty Python on command to a woman. In all likelihood you are not funny, you will never be really funny and you should not choose this as a way to attract women.  I’d say it really only works if you are so damn funny that you might be able to be paid as an actor as a comedian, otherwise do not rely on it. What’s more important is that you don’t want to be a humorless ass who gives Debbie Downer a run for her money, nor do you want your “humor” to consist of geek and nerd culture references. I cannot overstate the last point enough, there are effectively zero women who will think your Star Wars, Star Trek, video game, or anime jokes are funny. If she does actually laugh though, be glad because she really likes you and is just putting up with your dorkiness—for the time being.
  3. Physique – This is arguably in the grasp of every man, but is also one of the most difficult when it comes to mental discipline and toughness. The good news is that everyone is fat now so if you get in good shape you really will stand out, the bad news is that you are probably fat too. Keep in mind that you just have to outrun the slowest guy if the bear is chasing you so if you improve yourself over the average guy your age you are already ahead. In case you missed the news, women like men you are in physically good shape and minimal body fat. You can argue all day why this is true, but ultimately it doesn’t matter, just accept they are attracted to it.
So maybe you can’t do any one of these three things really well? It doesn’t matter, try to get average in two of them, above average in the third, and it will pay dividends. Maybe you are fat, but you make good money and are actually kind of the jolly fat guy, it can work. I’ve seen it work. The jolly fat man with a nice bank account probably isn’t landing 7+, but can date and marry the 5-6.  Look to improve in the areas above to improve your chances with women.

35 comments:

Sokrates said...

Good advice. The majority of men should profit from it. As long as you are not a Gamma, you always can improve.

from http://freedompowerandwealth.com

Copperheaded said...

Disagree on number 2. You can definitely learn how to be funny. You just have to figure out what people find funny. And you will have to fail at that a million times. The goal isn't to be a stand-up comedian, just to be able to make people laugh. I think witty is probably the better term. Knowing something about a lot of subjects helps.

sysadmn said...

Keep in mind that you just have to outrun the slowest guy if the bear is chasing you so if you improve yourself over the average guy your age you are already ahead.

Too true. To have your choice of the upper 50% of women, you have to be in the upper 20% of men. In terms of physique, this actually gets easier as you get older. Life happens, and if staying fit and active isn't a habit, your body (and health!) decline.

These three factors are synergistic; modest improvement in each can be as effective as a moderate improvement in any one.

JP said...

It's not being funny that woman like, it's being able to make them giggle.

Thomas Davidsmeier said...

#2 is absolutely untrue. My wife and I watched Star Trek all summer long after the kids went to bed. We were cracking jokes to each other constantly. My Captain Kirk imitation will crack her up immediately, as will any double karate chops to anything's "neck" area. Also, randomly dropping my voice an octave and saying, "I'm Captain Janeway," gets her rolling on the floor. I also occasionally walk up to objects and stand like Riker (leg up, leaning on knee) and she immediately gets it and laughs.

Then again, I'm fairly confident that I've got a pretty special woman. That's not even counting the million kids we've had together either.

Dexter said...

"Funny" does not mean an endless supply of stand-up comedian one-liners. Wit, word plays, teasing, deadpan bullshitting, all this is within the reach of the average man.

Bullitt315 said...

Tom,

there are effectively zero

does not mean there are 0.

If you're trying to find a new girl, do not rely on geek humor unless they're geeks. Even then, you're better teasing them. If she's laughing, it means she likes you more than it necessarily means you're funny.

Wojciech Majda said...

One can teach oneself to be funny or funnier. There is one book about the theory of humor that I used and it helped a lot since you can learn the "structure" of humor. The title is:
Comedy Writing Secrets: The Best-Selling Book on How to Think Funny, Write Funny, Act Funny, And Get Paid For It, 2nd Edition by Mel Helitzer.

Your post is spot on. If you get yourself in the top 10-20% of each category, you will have significant amount of value. It's not THAT difficult, certainly easer than having elite body or being super rich.

Feather Blade said...

I cannot overstate the last point enough, there are effectively zero women who will think your Star Wars, Star Trek, video game, or anime jokes are funny.

So he should wait until she makes the nerd jokes first?

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Not surprised that the other commenters here are focusing on #2. Because making a lot of money and going to the gym require effort and discipline. Sitting around learning to be funny is easier. Funny guys often come across as annoying try-hards. Plus, they tend to talk too much.

Polynices said...

I think Thomas misses that #2 is for attracting the woman in the first place. That you geek out and laugh with your wife in no way contradicts the advice -- I do that too but I didn't back when I met her. What works after you're in a relationship isn't the same thing as what works to get the relationship in the first place. Of course, there's lots of overlap there (being rich and athletic sure helps keep a woman's interest). You just don't want to look at successful couples and assume what you see now is how the guy got it started in the first place.

Also, I'd say men that are also athletic or wealthy can mistakenly think that they're funny and that's why women like them. No, they're only laughing at your jokes because you are otherwise attractive. The humor is probably not a draw on its own unless you're a serious comedian, as described in #2.

corvinus333 said...

The good news is that everyone is fat now so if you get in good shape you really will stand out, the bad news is that you are probably fat too.

IIRC, among white men in their 20s and 30s, about 75% are either overweight or obese. The average Delta is in fact overweight nowadays. Gammas and Omegas almost certainly are. Unlike before 1980, it takes a lot of effort not to be overweight.

@LBF

Not surprised that the other commenters here are focusing on #2. Because making a lot of money and going to the gym require effort and discipline.

You can't be a man without putting in effort and developing discipline. Being a man is hard: tough. I get the distinct impression that low-ranked men with a lot of money were either born into it, or if not, had YKW connections. Self-made men who make much more than their parents did are more likely to be high-ranked.

Sitting around learning to be funny is easier. Funny guys often come across as annoying try-hards. Plus, they tend to talk too much.

Yeah, comedians are proof that there are plenty of Gammas and Omegas who are extroverts.

hamburger said...

1) If you want to get milage with being rich, you must display. Flashy is better than rich.

2) "Funny" to women is more an effect of attraction, rather than a cause.

3) To an extent, but beyond not being slovenly, height and social dominance are more important. Heartiest has pointed out: lean with some muscle is better than ripped up gym rat.

Kim said...

Even funnier is that Milo Yiannopoulos is gay. I guess the same three rules work for them, too.

Copperheaded said...

Not surprised that the other commenters here are focusing on #2. Because making a lot of money and going to the gym require effort and discipline. Sitting around learning to be funny is easier.

Or because it's the only one that he said to forget about.

Rek. said...

By Vox:

"So, I would slightly modify Yohami's list of female priorities thusly:

1. Game
2. Social proof
3. Looks
4. Assets"

http://alphagameplan.blogspot.be/2012/02/alpha-mail-how-much-do-male-looks.html

@ Delta Man

I'd love to get your input regarding game (What is Delta Game? Is it "average boring guy" trying to hit on women at a bar?), I would like to see you delve into Deltas' mindset regarding women and life in general.

Expend on Vox' delta description:

"Delta: The normal guy. Deltas are the great majority of men. They can't attract the most attractive women, so they usually aim for the second-tier women with very limited success, and stubbornly resist paying attention to all of the third-tier women who are comfortably in their league. This is ironic, because deltas would almost always be happier with their closest female equivalents. When a delta does manage to land a second-tier woman, he is constantly afraid that she will lose interest in him and will, not infrequently, drive her into the very loss of interest he fears by his non-stop dancing of attendance upon her. In a social setting, the deltas are the men clustered together in groups, each of them making an occasional foray towards various small gaggles of women before beating a hasty retreat when direct eye contact and engaged responses are not forthcoming. Deltas tend to put the female sex on pedestals and have overly optimistic expectations of them; if a man rhapsodizes about his better half or is an inveterate White Knight, he is almost certainly a delta. Deltas like women, but find them mysterious, confusing, and are sometimes secretly a little afraid of them."

VD said...

Nothing like the Gamma Delusion Bubble. Look, gentlemen, you're not funny. Not even a little bit. Deal with it. The fact that you once made a funny in 10th grade that made Suzy Johnson half-smile does not make you Simon Evans, much less Frankie Boyle.

The funniest men in the world don't do well with women anyhow. I disagree with point two; the fact that a man can make a woman laugh does not make her want to get down on all fours and get pounded by him.

Athor Pel said...

" October 2, 2015 at 5:49 AM JP said...
It's not being funny that woman like, it's being able to make them giggle. "


Here's the sperg translation of what JP is saying here.

Being able to influence if not control her emotional state is what is important, not being "funny". If you get her feeling giggly then she will giggle and so will her sister and their mother and her sister. Pretty soon every woman in the house is laughing so hard there are tears coming out of their eyes. But the laughing still will not get you in her panties. Being able to put her in the mood of your chossing will get you in her panties.

Most women don't know funny. Women know how they feel when they laugh. Those are two different things.

They no more know how to translate a feeling into conscious understanding of the process and state than a cat knows why he's hungry.

At it's core, it's about frame control. Keeping yours and not falling into hers.

Would you let your little sister or little brother control your emotional state? No? Then don't let your woman do it.

de ti said...

Maybe some of you men are funny. But that won't attract your women.

The idea that women's panties moisten at a good sense of humor is one of the greatest frauds perpetrated on this society and on men. It's just not true. At all.

The best you can hope for is that your sense of humor will not hurt your efforts to get laid. But if your "sense of humor" is based on impressions a la Rich Little or on geek humor, it will hurt you. A lot.

"The funniest men in the world don't do well with women." True. Anyone think Don Rickles did well? Rich Little? Robin Williams was twice divorced and, by some accounts, killed himself because of recent work failures and because he couldn't afford the crushing alimony payments he had to make. Williams was one of the most talented, funniest and most successful comedians of his generation. Evidently that sense of humor masked enormous pain. Woody Allen's supposed "sex appeal" is ridiculous.

Desiderius said...

If you speak in the tongues of comedians and of PUAs, but do not have dominance, you are a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal in her ear.

And if you can play the stock market and Draftkings like a champ, and understand Mystery and all his knowledge, and have all confidence, so as to remove mountains, but do not have dominance, you are nothing.

If you make it rain with all your possessions, and if you build up your body so that you may boast, but do not have dominance, you gain nothing.

When you were child, you spoke like a child, you thought like a child, you reasoned like a child; when you become an adult, you put an end to childish ways.

Desiderius said...

For deltas:

If you can't manage to dominate her, at least make sure you can dominate yourself (i.e. not let her do so, for any reason).

de ti said...

Delta and gamma men need to stop trying to be comedians.

They need to stop doing public impressions. Look --unless you are really good (and I mean professional level good to the point that you make your living as a professional actor or entertainer), your impressions are not funny, they're not entertaining, and they don't make women wet. They're embarrassing, they're not all that good, and they annoy and irritate women.

They need to stop with their attempts at irony, snark and sarcasm a la David Letterman, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. It's not funny or entertaining. It's annoying, off putting and rude.

They need to stop wracking their brains trying to think of something funny or witty to say after some event, statement or occasion. Be in the moment instead of trying to impress people with wit or humor or intelligence. Be real, instead of trying to be worldly and witty. It's all tryhard and everyone around you knows it.

Zoe GM said...

To everyone commenting that humor isn't an attractive quality, you are all utterly wrong. Humor is perhaps one of the most attractive qualities. The thing with being funny is that not all humor is compatible, for example for some really dumb puns might do it and for others it might be black comedy that gets their motors running (like me). There is no way to know what kind of sense of humor the gal you're after has. However what I've noticed through my life is that women are really drawn to charisma and not necessarily money and physique. Charisma and self-confidence might be somewhat correlated to your perception of what you are versus what you're meant to be. (Example: If you've always looked up to men who have these two qualities (money and great physique) and you don't possess those two "qualities," then your self-confidence might be affected and that is reflected in the way you interact with everyone including women you are interested in).

I may not be the best person to comment on this because I'm by no means the average woman. Even when I've stated I'm average, I'm always rectified by my peers that I'm not. Yet, I've seen a clear pattern and I truly believe that charisma is by far the most attractive quality out there. Story time: Every girl in my class, including weirdo me, had a crush on this guy (we'll call him Alex) at some point in time. We all discovered this in senior year and we were confused as to why. Alex wasn't the most physically attractive guy in our class nor the wealthiest. Alex was a regular joe (he was relatively short, he had a small gut and was just middle class). However, we all agreed that Alex had something and that was that he was very charismatic. He was the kind of guy that would light up a dead party, he had an approximate knowledge about pretty much everything (which made him accessible for a wide range of people), he was very social and liked by all types of audiences. He gave the impression that no matter where you went with him it was going to be worthwhile and fun. This is what the average woman/girl finds attractive. Alex, the regular Joe, was able to get with three hottest girls in my class. So yes, I do agree that money and great physique might add some value to your attractiveness (I don't personally believe it does it for me, but we already stated that I'm weird as fuck), but they are not the most powerful tools to increase your value as a potential mate.

VD said...

Every girl in my class, including weirdo me, had a crush on this guy (we'll call him Alex) at some point in time. We all discovered this in senior year and we were confused as to why.

And did you have sex with him? If the answer is "no", then your entire attempt to make a point is futile.

I truly believe that charisma is by far the most attractive quality out there.

Charisma has nothing to do with humor. I can be charismatic to the point that women tell me that if I'm starting a cult they will join it, but I am not funny. Mute, wide-eyed horror is more likely to greet my jokes than laughter and giggles.

Cail Corishev said...

Famous funny men get laid like tile, but so do famous unfunny men -- maybe more so. It's the fame, not the funny.

Cocky & Funny works as a Game concept, but it's the Cocky that's attractive. The Funny (when done right) takes the edge off the Cocky just enough to make it okay for the girl to enjoy it. She tells herself she's responding to his great sense of humor, because that sounds more sophisticated than, "He just makes me want to get on my knees and I'm not sure why."

Sometimes the funniest guy in the room will take home the hottest girl, but that's because all the other men laughing at his jokes sets him up as the Alpha controlling the room, making him the most dominant guy there. But again, it's his dominance that's attractive. If he appears to be trying to win the other men's approval instead of commanding it, women won't be attracted to him no matter how funny they find his act.

So if you're not already naturally funny, trying to learn to be funny so you can be dominant is taking a detour. Better to just learn to be dominant.

Simmons Shawn said...

You advice is so meaningful. I will apply it to practice!

wxyzxdll said...

Humour is useful once you have a woman in your grasp. It is not useful as an attraction feature on women you dont know.

Zoe GM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zoe GM said...

@VD

"And did you have sex with him? If the answer is "no", then your entire attempt to make a point is futile."

Completely would've but I was not top of the food chain. Since Alex was an object of desire, he kind of got his pick and he did have sex with the 3 hottest girls in class (which doesn't include me).

"Charisma has nothing to do with humor. I can be charismatic to the point that women tell me that if I'm starting a cult they will join it, but I am not funny. Mute, wide-eyed horror is more likely to greet my jokes than laughter and giggles."

I never stated that charisma and humor had anything to do with each other. Those were two different statements and I apologize if they seemed to be grouped together. The point of that comment was to state 2 things:

1. Yes, a guy with a similar sense of humor to yours is a very attractive quality. Think about it: if you are able to make someone gut-laugh, they are able to relax and let their walls down a bit. However, everyone has a different sense of humor. I personally have a very crude and cynical sense of humor; I've met guys who have this kind of sense of humor as well (not rich, not charismatic, not in great physical shape) and I'm automatically attracted to them. I'm a very cold and distant person, so if you've made me laugh you are halfway in.

2. I just also added that charisma is insanely attractive. If you are "girls would join a cult if I asked them to" charismatic then you must know the kind of power charisma has.

Sidenote: You might be funny but have a very limited audience. Your humor might be too obscure or less universal because the kind of humor that makes me laugh has the " Mute and wide-eyed horror" reaction in people.

@Cail Corishev

I don't know but "Cocky" never really does it for me. It might do it for some girls, but I'm not sure of that. Cocky projects over-compensation, dumber girls might find this attractive since they're only feeling your confidence but not really thinking it through. From a smart bitch POV (I'm not the average girl), I would only see over-compensation and might try to subconsciously compete with it rather than let my walls down. I know this type of guy and the way I reciprocate is that I go with it (so I will talk and be receptive) but I'll just mock you until you acknowledge we are in the same ground level. Attraction never happens and we just end up being friends. More than cocky, I'd say being forward and perhaps suggestive might do the trick.

Unknown said...

Developing a good sense of humor is what is meant by "being funny". You can easily do that by reading all manner of materials and by watching classic films. Graphic novels, video games and any movie made after1985 DOES NOT COUNT!

Its all a manner of self-improvement!

SciVo said...

Well, it's no wonder that Milo doesn't understand #2 -- that they laugh because they're attracted, not the other way around -- since he's gay.

modsquad said...

Milo missed two:

– Be unpredictable

– Be dangerous

Natalie said...

Late to the party - but under #1 I think you can also add self-sufficiency to a greater or lesser degree. Being so rich you can drive a finicky car and not blink at the service bills is awesome, but driving a reliable car and being able to do a fair bit of the basic service on it yourself can also signal financial security. I'm currently middle to upper middle class, but I have tremendous respect for the men around me who can grow food, repair things, and just generally be competent. My husband dropping money on me randomly is great, but it can also be worrying unless A. you really do make that much money or B. you're saving money elsewhere. Of course I'm more talking MMV here and not so much SMV. Seeing his squat max go up every week feeds that fire :)

LP999/S.I.G. Burnin' Up! said...

Humor plus laughing off problems or pains is helpful. Negs are teachable moments and not easily forgotten.

$ is not a major issue, its the management of $ and his ability to protect the home and spouse.

Know how; I could not affix a basic under 2 min bridge to my violin, any man could but a delta would not need the explanation or problem. Delta'd see it, install/affix it and laugh.

This is so simple, there are countless utube vids for it. I checked one to affirm I was ok, I was but the either the vio failed or I did. I guess the latter. Amazing, so utterly painfully easy yet after guitars and vio's, I found one that I could not do a simple bridge upon. The vio could not hold the tune, the string broke.

Would this happen to a man? Nope, only women. Men win, lead, we follow.

More than anything what am I going to do when doors stop being held for me? I am thinking at my 50s+ doors wont be held anymore.

Some Dude said...

I can safely say:

1. Money does not make women sexually attracted to you. Just attracted. For all the wrong reasons - unless you've used that money to translate into power and social dominance. I've seen multiple illegal immigrant cleaners, welfare cases, bankrupt criminals, ordinary blue collar guys do very well. What money might get you is a relationship.

2. Humour: Not needed. Doesn't work. Think about it. People use humour to appease people. The only time it works for me is if I'm insulting a person or making subversive commentary. That will get the tingles.

3. Gym: 100% surefire proven, tested and empirically valid point. The only one here. Getting into shape and packing muscle makes you jump 2-3 points. I've literally had hot blonde girls not interested in me do a complete 180 once the shirt is off. Women in the gym will approach you once you have definition more than size per se.

The 3 things men need are:

1. Physique
2. Edge/Danger
3. Social Proof

Everything else is hearsay.

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.