Monday, August 10, 2015

Delta Perspective: Don’t interrupt

A clear sign of being a Gamma is constantly interrupting people when they are speaking. Gammas think they always have so many special, unique and important words to say that the person talking should feel privileged to be interrupted to listen to their wisdom. Instead Gammas have nothing important to say at all and instead they simply relate barely relevant anecdotes about themselves which nobody cares about.

When someone is telling you something give them the opportunity to finish their thought and get to the point. If they fail then it is fine to coax them on a little if they are having trouble focusing, but it isn’t a time to relate something you want to say. Try to ask questions to clarify things if they are unclear.

Stop the snark when others are talking as well. If they are making a fool of themselves you don’t have to be the one to point it out as everyone will see it as well. If they aren’t making a fool of themselves, then being snarky in the middle of it is disrespectful and petty. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard Gammas make wisecracks when another man is speaking, particularly important men. It’s a Gamma’s way of trying to tear down the other man with their typical cowardice and skirting along the edge of the issue.

There is a time to interrupt though, and that’s when someone is droning on and wasting your time. The best way to deal with it is to simply leave if at all possible. Don’t be melodramatic about it, instead just excuse yourself between breaths and interrupt them if you have to and explain you have to get going. Then turn around and simply walk off.  There are of course times this can’t work. Sometimes you are forced to listen to people due to circumstance, but if you don’t have to waste your time then leave. This doesn’t apply to your wife or girlfriend though. You can’t walk out of the room every time the story gets a little long and that is a whole other discussion outside the scope of this post.

Use good judgment on all of this of course and there are no hard rules about it, but the point is to try to be a good listener when it’s applicable, and don’t allow people to waste your time if you can avoid it.

10 comments:

Harsh said...

I agree that interrupting is a very bad habit and not limited to just Gammas. Over the past year or so I've been making it a point to shut up and listen during conversations and not pipe in so much with my own opinion. It's been an interesting experience.

The one thing I noticed more than anything is that very few people actually listen. Mostly they are thinking about what they want to say next and the moment you take a breath they're offering "advice" or telling you about some experience of theirs in order to "relate."

Another very annoying habit I've noticed is that people feel the need to constantly interject with acknowledgements like "uh huh" or "I see" or some such. I was talking to a woman recently and about every five seconds she had to make some verbal acknowledgement that she was listening. It was quite an eye-opener.

So yes, work on shutting up and really listening and you'll be way ahead of the game.

Matt said...

Alphas interrupt all the time.

As with everything on th3 sociosexual spectrum, this only means GAMMAS SHOULD NOT INTERRUPT (SO MUCH). It does not mean interrupting, itself, is a bad thing. When the Alpha in the situation does so, even to say something absurd, the lower ranked sycophantic audience will laugh, regardless of how stupid the comment is.

Trust said...

I think that is something Gammas don't get. Alphas can interrupt because people acquiesce to them and care what they have to say. Gammas rarely have an audience who wants to listen.

One of my best steps to overcoming gamma was to shut up. With my looks and physique, women would mistake me for higher status if I wouldn't prove otherwise. Their hamsters help more than a man's words ever will.

Robert What? said...

Sorry, did you say something? I wasn't paying attention.

Trust said...

Who me? No. Who was talking? ;)

Matt said...

Mens hamsters will run wild as well, Trust. If everyone assumes youre an evil asshole, may as well be the asshole and reap the rewards.

Groot said...

You interrupt, because idiots, and restate concisely. They blather, and you tell them to focus. Easy.

LDiracDelta said...

Miguel de Icaza wrote a post a few years back: http://tirania.org/blog/archive/2011/Feb-17.html

It personally helped me and gave me a phrase to use with other engineers:

"Did you just **well-actually** me?"

Eddie-in-Mexico said...

Tis better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.

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