Saturday, April 18, 2015

It starts young

In fairness, if you consider how they have been raised and taught to relate with other people, it's a testimony to the intrinsic decency of the average pretty woman that she doesn't expect people to be skinned alive if they annoy her in any way:
Eight-year-old Ella Neumark said Saturday that in recent weeks she has become increasingly aware of how her adorable physical characteristics make her superior to unattractive girls.

Ella told reporters she has only lately begun to appreciate how her wide, expressive eyes, shiny blond hair, and flawlessly straight teeth cause her to be a far more worthy human being than her less appealing peers.

"I never really noticed it before, but my prettiness makes me better than every girl who isn't as pretty as me," Ella said. "The face I have means I deserve more attention than anyone whose face isn't as good."

"Mrs. Hothan calls on me all the time in class because my eyes, nose, and mouth are a certain way, and that's why she also gives me more time to answer questions," Ella continued. "She likes to look at me, so she's nice to me. Other girls don't get treated as nice because they aren't nearly as good to look at. That's so amazing."

Ella's growing recognition that her cuteness endows her with intrinsically greater value than girls who are overweight or possess thick eyebrows has reportedly caused her to see her friendships differently. The third-grader said she has begun to fully understand that she can in fact exploit her appearance to obtain benefits she believes she is entitled to.
Want to know why pretty women can be such unconscionable bitches at times? Look yourself in the mirror, Mr. White Knight Pedestal.

36 comments:

Matt said...

Thats the onion

liberranter said...

"Mrs. Hothan calls on me all the time in class because my eyes, nose, and mouth are a certain way, and that's why she also gives me more time to answer questions," Ella continued.

I wonder if she'll come to realize when she's older that the reason her teacher gave her more time to answer questions is NOT because she was a speshul snowfwake, but because the teacher realized that, her physical attractiveness aside, she was the dullest knife in the drawer and dumber than a bag of rocks. In other words, she needed every second of that extra time.

liberranter said...

And once again, what a commentary on the state of society when The Onion offers up more realistic items than the "serious" news media.

Salt said...

When parody speaks truth...

Revelation Means Hope said...

I've loved the Onion since it's very beginning. l
What is really sad is that now when I read news articles about politicians and banksters and SJWs, and the incredibly outrageous laws that they pass or things that they do, and wonder how Onion got so thoroughly scooped by real life.

Revelation Means Hope said...

I've loved the Onion since it's very beginning. l
What is really sad is that now when I read news articles about politicians and banksters and SJWs, and the incredibly outrageous laws that they pass or things that they do, and wonder how Onion got so thoroughly scooped by real life.

Hammerli 280 said...

We see the same thing over at the Duffel Blog...it's supposed to be a military parody blog, but it gets uncomfortably realistic.

Anonymous said...

What is really sad is that now when I read news articles about politicians and banksters and SJWs, and the incredibly outrageous laws that they pass or things that they do, and wonder how Onion got so thoroughly scooped by real life.

The Onion publishes news articles 5-10 years ahead of MSM and 3-8 years ahead of the Enquirer

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

The bitch zone, in my experience, tends to be inhabited by women in the 4-7.5 range.

More beautiful women tend to be quite nice and are down with it.

Mr.MantraMan said...

Then you got Britt Mchenry she is off the scale bitchy and she is a hard 8 soft 9 on my scale. But the Radix piece nailed part of this hate the pretty while worship the pretty craziness.

MichaelJMaier said...

Huh... Britt McHenry is very hot, true. But nearly every picture of her in Google's image search has a fake smile in it. Makes her look like a total bitch.

Anonymous said...

The bitch zone, in my experience, tends to be inhabited by women in the 4-7.5 range.

They're bitches because they only get attention from Deltas and Gammas and resent the hell out of it.

More beautiful women tend to be quite nice and are down with it.

Yeah, I've noticed that too. They're quicker to either bitch-shield away or friendzone men due to low-value behavior, but that also means they're less slutty than the mid-range girls.

Unknown said...

Ah yes Britt McHenry...doing well for herself and better than others because she has a degree.

We all know why she's on ESPN and it isn't because of a degree.

Unknown said...

Yeah it's the onion. But when mainstream feminism and feelings are taken as truth...parody is a good start to wake people up.

A couple more good ones.

Report: Mom's Work Friend Has No One

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-moms-work-friend-has-no-one%2C30982/

Few More Items Knocked Off List Of Desirable Traits In Partner As Woman Turns Year Older

http://www.theonion.com/articles/few-more-items-knocked-off-list-of-desirable-trait,36412/

Noah B. said...

The Onion: Where Parody Meets Reality

Robert What? said...

I don't envy the writers at The Onion. Satire ain't easy these days when half the world is satire.

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Anonymous said...

The New York Times: where Parody Becomes Reality.

Jay Lucas said...

Usually the parodies are better written and more fun.

I feel there's a side of the story left out. Little miss hook-nose-glass-eye-stutter-lisp-eyebrows-touching-hairline might provide a contrasting opinion...

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Yeah, I've noticed that too. They're quicker to either bitch-shield away or friendzone men due to low-value behavior, but that also means they're less slutty than the mid-range girls.

Also, the beautiful girls are often friendlier because most men won't approach them, and when one does--particularly if he's high value--they're grateful.

the dude said...

That's been my experience too, LBF. Qui audet adipiscitur

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

'Who Dares Wins' -- yes, exactly! A lot of Red Pill wisdom, getting laid, and finding a gf/wife can be boiled down to this simple phrase.

Dexter said...

Little Ella discovers it is fun to play the game of life on the lowest difficulty setting...

Unknown said...

'Also, the beautiful girls are often friendlier because most men won't approach them, and when one does--particularly if he's high value--they're grateful.'

A lot of their appearance does have to do with their attitude...but there are also beautiful girls with the same bad attitude as the ugly feminists. You find an attractive woman with a friendly attitude, that's the sweet spot. All it takes is some one on one interaction.

Marissa said...

Then you got Britt Mchenry she is off the scale bitchy and she is a hard 8 soft 9 on my scale.

She's about to turn 29, is unmarried, has no children, and has a job at ESPN because of her looks, even though many of the men there have had to become walking encyclopedias and sports experts to earn the same, or inferior, position as hers. That said, I'll take her any day over the lesbians they keep awkwardly forcing on Around The Horn.

This article reads like some grouchy fat girl wrote it. I get the humor, but it savors a little too strongly of bitterness to be outright funny.

Dark Herald said...

Yes, really beautiful women are very approachable.

However the big thing you have to remember about them is, they spend their entire lives with one foot lodged firmly in Never-Never Land.

They simply don't develop good personal skills because they spent their childhood, teens and twenties being treated like fairy princesses. You don't need good people skills if everyone is always nice to you.

It gets bad in when the hit the wall and the magic starts to slip. They end up as these sad Blanch DuBois caricature when they hit forty.

The only exception to this rule is the girl who grew into her looks late in her teens. If you ever meet a really beautiful girl with a great sense of humor, I guarantee you that buried in the bottom of her hope chest is a photo of an unrecognizable homunculus, that is her at age 13. Also she will never believe she is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

@Cataline

She could simply have a crush on you.

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