Monday, March 2, 2015

Rage, rage against the dying of male interest

A formerly gorgeousish woman complains that men aren't interested in her belated, but no doubt fascinating personal developments:
“I bet you were gorgeous when you were young,” I was told recently, via message, like that was supposed to be a compliment. Yes, I was gorgeous, ish, for a while, and self-absorbed, and shallow, and inexperienced, and over-sensitive and dull. You’re right, mate, you’d have much preferred me then.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. What does it mean to us, as women, to be told that we’re worth less than we used to be? No man I know has ever been told that his powers, his allure, his charm have faded, and that he has to face up to that redundancy. Many women I know in their 50s talk about their invisibility in public places. I’m sure a case could be made for invisibility as a liberating force in a woman’s life, but I am not the woman to make it, not this week at least, when I’ve been dissed or else flatly ignored by all the men I’ve said hello to.

It’s making me a bit rebellious, I admit. It’s making me want to look 50, and talk about 50, and stand firm with a whole movement of women, rejecting the pressure to try to look 35 for ever, throwing away our foundation garments and hair dye. I get these impulses and then I buy another stupid snake-oil anti-ageing cream.

It’s true that men don’t see me any more. It’s sobering to walk down the street observing how the 50-year-old men behave, paying attention to what they’re looking at as they stroll along. They are not looking in shop windows. They are not looking at me. They are looking at women half their age.
I just think it's funny that she genuinely appears to believe she isn't still self-absorbed, and shallow, and over-sensitive, and dull. Basically, she's no longer attractive, but she is experienced. And she wonders why men don't look at her?

This is just another exhibit of Steve Sailer's Law of Female Journalism: "The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that the journalist herself be considered hotter."

45 comments:

Unknown said...

It's interesting(or not so much,really) how she reacts to the advice from her friend: ""These are just facts. Men like youth. They like long hair. They like colour. They like slender, as well. Sorry. You’re going to have to lose weight and grow your hair and wear red if you want the silver foxes to see you.” The question is, should I be prepared to change?"

So, she doesn't like the way men react to her, but at the same time is not interested in making any change to please a man. Doble standard.

MATT said...

Shes as dumb as the crybaby sensitive "men" crying about their lack of options.

Though I will say out of sympathy that her aituation is more dire. While unlikely, a 50 yr old loser can theoretically wake up one day and decude he's had enough of being a loser and change his life around. An old woman however, will just get older and less visible. If she was smart she would have used her youthful beauty to start a family. Women don't even seem to particularly like men, let alone love them, especially when compared to the eay they feel about their children and grandchildren. It's narcissism that compels this imbecile to long for the days when a man would look at her ass instead of thinking about when her newlywed children will give her grandchildren.

She fails to see the irony in her hoping for a tall powerful man.

Anonymous said...

This is why I tend to laugh at all of these women complaining so ardently about being catcalled and how "scared" it makes them feel. When those cat calls stop, when they are the ones that become invisible, they will mis that "fear" more than they can comprehend.

~ Stingray

Harambe said...

I was told too many times that I'm too poor, short, nice or unattractive to really give two shits about this woman's grievances.

They start this business of overlooking great mates in favour of cads when they're still nice and young. We men just get the last laugh when their overused vaginas finally dry up.

JLT said...

Instapundit blogged this w/ an article about men committing suicide at her age.

Britain in male suicide crisis - because real men don't suffer depression
The figures also reveal:

19 in every 100,000 deaths in men a result of suicide
There were 6,233 suicides in men and women older than 15 in 2013, 4% higher than the previous year.
The highest UK suicide rate in 2013 by broad age group was among men aged 45 to 59, at 25.1 deaths per 100,000, the highest for that age group since 1981.

John said...

Lol biology.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

They just don't get it. Hamster gone wild.

Happy Housewife said...

There was a time women could age gracefully, in the comfort of the home they built with the husbands of their youth - who, studies have shown, still sees them in their minds as the young woman they had married so many years ago. But then again, those women didn't get to travel overseas by themselves in their 20's, attain a degree in sociology, or drink Cosmos with their girlfriends every weekend while on the prowl for a one night stand to turn into a LTR.

Seems like a fair trade off. Thanks, feminism.

deadman said...

Tried to find a verified photo of ol' Stella Grey (cripes, even the name is unappealing...).
Even looked at her Twitter page.
Nothing.
If she's such a catch; why is she hiding...?

Perhaps she should try the following (seeing as we're all equal now & what not ) :
- approach an unknown male in a social setting,
- initiate conversation with said unknown male,
- conduct interesting conversation to maintain said males attention,
- ask for the males phone no.,
- contact the male after the fact,
- propose a first date,
- organize said first date,
- then pay for the first date.

Maybe then she'd actually find a guy to date. Yet I doubt that level of 'equality' is all that appealing to her.
No, I imagine her prince charming fantasy character is out there... Somewhere...

Doom said...

Oh, I'm enjoying having the shoe on the other foot. Even well bedded, when I was younger it was difficult to distract a prettier young woman from the mirror long enough to even get her to look elsewhere. Which is why, almost as often, I bed her mother, or older sister... or both. Depended on who was on first? Yeah. I know, on my blog, I have outraged a ton of women, maybe literally... age and weight often go hand in hand. I have said, often enough, and in various ways, that a 30 year old woman, or older, is too old. Don't know if I can catch the young woman I am interested in, but if not, I'd rather be alone.

Love teh rage. Tickles my funnybones. "Why!?!" Because, as I have also said, I am a man, so I can. *grins*

You do have a point. If she would put down the damn mirror and just go out, smile, big glasses, be present and pleasant, and stop worrying about who isn't looking and focus on who is... Ah, but even now, they aren't good enough. Yum! I'll bet she had more chances and decent to better husbands than any five average looking women. Pissed them away, and still is. Older men can go younger, if they still have a little something-something. Older women have to go even older, unless they have enough to be a sugar momma. Them's the rules.

R Devere said...

You want really funny "rage against the machine"? Date a 60+ yr. old woman. They are off the charts and off their rockers as to their SMV, which is rapidly approaching zero! Yet, they still believe they closely resemble that photograph of themselves as a 30 year old, which they display prominently is their house or apartment.

To bring them back to earth, occasionally remind them, "Hey! You were hot in that photo. How long ago was that?"

Trust said...

So she is as invisible to men now as non-alphas were to her during her carousel riding years. And she'll get the same amount of sympathy.

R Devere said...

Yeah, 60+ ladies are a hoot. Another interesting phenomenon among the older set is their attempt to be a "born-again virgin", especially among those who were admittedly major league cock-gobbler/cum dumpsters in their long-past lives as "attractive" women.!

Anonymous said...

And it still doesn't click to her that she has been ignoring invisible men all her life. And for other women, invisibility starts a lot sooner than 50. So her "woe-is-me" article is totally self-serving and arrogant. She should have used her youth and beauty while she had it and traded it for something more lasting than the approval of strangers.

David said...

Non-alphas don't really count as men in her mind. She clearly preferred lonely spinsterhood to spending even one second married to a beta. Not that she has any room to be picky once the wall hits, but that thought has never even occurred to her. She won't learn, and it's likely she never will.

Trust said...

*sarcasm on*

I was a star basketball player when I was 18. I was offered scholarships and an NBA career right out of high school. However, it was my right to choose to have fun. I spent my 20s partying, drinking, having sex with high value women, etc. I wanted to have it all.

Now, I just turned 30. The NBA doesn't want me anymore, colleges no longer want to honor my scholarships, both are discriminating against me in favor of younger players.

I'm a victim I say. It's ageist. Them shallow capitalists and athelticists are infringing on my right to do what I want to do.

What I want now is as unimportant to them as their wants were to me back then, and dammit dat just ain't fair!

*sarcasm off *

Ladies, if you're really goregeousish, you've been dealt a good hand and are at an advantage. Don't waste the cards then expect others to let you win later.

hank.jim said...

I'm well trained to ignore all women. I try to not notice even the hottest women I see in public. This is just the state of society. We shame men to not be rapey. The 50 year old women should not take it personally. It's feminism that cause it. False rape/assault accusations, false paternity, false grounds for divorce are making any relationship with women a hurdle to overcome.

Anyways, a 50 year old woman has nothing to offer. It used to be you stayed married with your wife of over 40 years as normal behavior. Few marriages last that long today. Men look at women based on their sex drive. What's the point if old women are repellant.

Ghost said...

Ivan,
Aside from losing weight, she had to actually do nothing on that list. DON'T cut her hair. DON'T wear bland clothes. Even losing weight: DON'T stuff your fat, old jowls with eclairs.

But why should she have to change, when he could just change the chemistry of his brain to be attracted to old, dyke-haired, fat, whiny, former sluts who feel entitled to bring attractive.

Ghost said...

*being attractive, but y'all knew that.

Anonymous said...

I had this happen to me just this morning during my commute on the Metro to my office in Washington, D.C. As I was waiting, standing against the back wall, a beautiful young woman walked by and she received my interested gaze. Walking about ten feet behind her was a Washington Post-clutching old quasi-dyke 50-something, who rewarded me with a sneer that said "looking at women half your age (and not me), you should be ashamed!" It was so comical, I barked out a laugh without thinking about it.

What *amazes* me is that these women have not given one thought to the hyper imbalance of sexual power and attractiveness they enjoyed as teenagers and through their twenties-early thirties, when all they had to do was to enter a room to get all the men's (and at least a quarter of the women's) interest. Like Divine Right queens, they insist that this is their due and that the universe is unjust as they have to deal what 80% of men have had to deal with since they were circa 14 years old: that no one cares about you and, no, you're not cute.

Daniel said...

All men who look at me are shallow - HEY Mister! LOOK AT ME when I'm talking to you!

Unknown said...

Ghost: "DON'T cut her hair. DON'T wear bland clothes. Even losing weight: DON'T stuff your fat, old jowls with eclairs."

True. And you know how bad the situation is when a young and pretty lass cuts her hair so short that you almost can't distinguish her from a boy...

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

So what men want to date younger women, I see no problem with that.

Whoa, what happened to women wanting to stay beautiful and work with what they have? Toss out the hair dye, get unhealthy, have a hair cut, that is such nonsense. Women who say, "oh I'm letting myself go," are just gaming other women to sabotage themselves.

Say what you want but if you exfoliate and properly care for your skin it will respond with youth, the same to what passes into the body and soul as well.

The war on beauty fails!

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Just a few days ago a woman at the gym whom I'm friends with kids me about having fake breasts, I know its an insult but I smile and laugh her off. Don't sweat the small jabs, be sweet, smile, fix your hair, dress cute and keep it slim. Learn kegels too.

Otherwise the rest of the sane women and normal bro's view the loss in personal care as DEPRESSION or mental illness.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

For example, an excellent addition to mind numbingly slow ballet is the O School by Fredy Kosman. Those kids can dance, learn the routines n' work it.

APL said...

"No man I know has ever been told that his powers, his allure, his charm have faded, and that he has to face up to that redundancy."

'No man I ever noticed has ever been told that his powers ... ' bla bla bla

But all the other men, didn't get one iota of consideration.

Anonymous said...

True. And you know how bad the situation is when a young and pretty lass cuts her hair so short that you almost can't distinguish her from a boy...

Heh. Back when I was still in my teens, I actually lost all attraction for a crush when she cut her hair short like a boy and kept it that way.

Anonymous said...

"“You’re not like that, though, are you? Given a choice, you’d pick the older, more interesting woman, the passionate, well-read, intrepid, low-maintenance woman.""

So much wrong with this statement
- the assumption there is a positive correlation between age and interest
- the assumption that just because your past was interesting you are interesting in the present
- the assumption that people spend their days conversing about things that are informed by great books
- that intrepid somehow more aptly applies to a woman who has a sense of mortality and longing for her younger years than somebody that has no problem downing 2000 calories of sugar mixers and going home with somebody that they just met.

Anonymous said...

AFAIK, human females are the only ones who spend half their lives post-menopausally infertile. I wonder what God's motive was in making women live so long. In Western societies, childless women over 40, or even 35, are dead weight... and they stick around for a long time. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

So much wrong with this statement

Also:

- that age and experience make a woman lower-maintenance
- that a woman who calls herself passionate, interesting, well-read, or any of these other descriptors is likely to be so
- that the writer knows what "intrepid" means

Dark Herald said...

Now for easy part. Finding male feminists who will be "disturbed" by this.

Unknown said...

'Yes, I was gorgeous, ish, for a while, and self-absorbed, and shallow, and inexperienced, and over-sensitive and dull.'

The fruits of feminism....people still look pretty but are carrying a corrosive personality.

Anonymous said...

Corvinus, I can think of at least two reasons women outlive their fertility by four decades:

* Providing free childcare so their daughters can have more children.
* Helping their sons climb the social hierarchy and finding good wives for them.

A spinster-by-choice once told me she never envied her friends' having babies, but when those friends started having grandchildren, she realized what she'd lost.

Hammerli 280 said...

Somehow I get the impression that Miss 1950 would get more sympathy here than her granddaughter does.

But then, Miss 1950 was taught to be civil to all men. Even a teaspoon of kindness can make a difference, and costs nothing. It says much that so many modern women lack these basic courtesies and kindnesses.

papabear said...

"AFAIK, human females are the only ones who spend half their lives post-menopausally infertile. I wonder what God's motive was in making women live so long. In Western societies, childless women over 40, or even 35, are dead weight... and they stick around for a long time. Ugh. "

An opportunity to learn some humility. Can you imagine if they remained attractive all of their lives? How insufferable they could become in this fallen world?

S. Thermite said...

"In Western societies, childless women over 40, or even 35, are dead weight... and they stick around for a long time. Ugh."

Well, at least the the first female president will be a grandma rather than a genetic dead end [wakes up from nightmare about ghost of Clintons' past, present, and future...]

Anonymous said...

AFAIK, human females are the only ones who spend half their lives post-menopausally infertile. I wonder what God's motive was in making women live so long. In Western societies, childless women over 40, or even 35, are dead weight... and they stick around for a long time. Ugh.

I suppose I just had a better Grandmother than you did. Come to think of it, my kids have a pretty good Grandmother too...

Anonymous said...

You want really funny "rage against the machine"? Date a 60+ yr. old woman.

If I find myself a widower at the age of 106, I might consider that, but honestly, at that age, I'd probably have to worry about tripping over a damned cat. And short of that age, I'm not going to date a woman in her 60s that I didn't marry in her 20's.

Midknight said...

@cailcorishev

So much wrong with this statement

Also:

- that age and experience make a woman lower-maintenance


Beat me to it. That's one whopper of an assumption, because anecdotally, women who're older and pride themselves on being "interesting" indeed are, in the Chinese curse sense. Certainly not low maintenance

Bob Loblaw said...

Tried to find a verified photo of ol' Stella Grey (cripes, even the name is unappealing...).

FTA: "Stella Grey is a pseudonym"

Anonymous said...

I suppose I just had a better Grandmother than you did. Come to think of it, my kids have a pretty good Grandmother too...

To be fair, I'm talking about childless women here, not Grandmothers.

Robert What? said...

Many older women could be more appealing to men by being more gracious, pleasant, feminine and supportive than their younger sisters. But then, of course, changing anything about yourself to be more appealing to men would be demeaning.

Natalie said...

For what it's worth, many grandmothers don't know how to be grandmothers anymore I don't think. They're all working and have bought into the every woman for herself idea of feminism. Even more traditional women don't seem to understand the importance of working with younger moms and helping them navigate the emotionally laden world of childbearing and child rearing. So we have a lot of fairly isolated younger moms all trying to mentor each other and not doing a great job of it :( Back before feminism women had (or made) time to help each other and pass down the knowledge it takes to be a good wife and mom. Now we're all trying to reinvent the wheel and getting burnt out despite the multitude of housekeeping shortcuts available.

Arthur Isaac said...

She should try being a man with a bad back and fading utility and being invisible to girls from puberty on.

Dolarandgold said...



Thank you for this effort

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