Friday, February 27, 2015

How to impress a woman

Science again backs up the Theory of Game:
Chaps, if you want to impress a woman, don’t talk about work. An analysis of almost 1,000 speed dates, showed that females switched off when a prospective beau started chatting about his job. Much more successful, was allowing the woman to talk about herself. And, surprisingly, interrupting her....

Professor Jurafksy’s analysis also showed that women liked men who interrupted them. He said: ‘The men would interrupt a lot. We thought interruption would usually be a sign of taking the floor and of being rude but all of these interruptions were sympathetic interruptions.

‘They would stop someone and say “Oh, that exactly happened to me too”.

‘They were attentive listening-type interruptions. And women, in a date that clicked, showed signs of engagement. They varied their pitch a lot, they varied their loudness, they got louder and softer. So, on a good date, the woman was engaged and the man was attentive.’

However, women really didn’t like men who were hesitant, with time-buying phrases such as ‘kind of’ and ‘sort of’ interpreted as a sign of awkwardness. And they really didn’t like chit-chat about work.
Translation: women like alphas who don't talk much and interrupt when they have something to say. And they dislike Gammas who ramble on, are insecure and focused on themselves, and are eager to demonstrate their competence.

37 comments:

Conscientia Republicae said...

You can always just take food off their plates. My grandfather did that all the time when we were kids. "Look over there! What's that?" And your food is gone.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Exactly.

80/20 Rule



Strong silent type. 80/20

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Exactly.

80/20 Rule

Strong silent type = gina tingles

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Does this apply to blog comments, too?

I often wonder how those commenters who consistently leave wordy, lengthy comments at Game blogs actually do with women IRL.

LibertyPortraits said...

I also wonder how commentators who consistently leave twice the comments of any other commentator do with women.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

I've heard those chaps crush it.

Earl Thomas said...

‘They would stop someone and say “Oh, that exactly happened to me too”.

Yeah not so much the fact he interrupted...it's a statement that he is connecting to her.

Albrecht Zimmer said...

I had to learn the rule of not talking about work the hard way. It's good advice especially for those with technical jobs. The approach I finally settled on was to keep responses about work tantalizingly simple: I keep the computers running... I make sure buildings stand up... I do heart surgery on widdle bitty children... something like that. What you have to constantly have in mind is that people are asking just to make small talk and would neither understand nor care if you gave them the full run-down. This still applies even if they ask again, and you are far more interesting if you give a semi-polite but indirect answer. If they ask five times, they may be genuinely interested, but still probably aren't. More likely, at that point, they just see you as an interesting puzzle to crack.

On the other hand, if you're a highly successful professional actor, music, writer, athlete, etc., then I would think that talking about work more would be a good thing.

-- Noah B.

Owen said...

Men who hold back create mystery.

That's so universal, I don't even think guys deep in the Blue would disagree. Well, most.

automatthew said...

"I often wonder how those commenters who consistently leave wordy, lengthy comments at Game blogs actually do with women IRL."

As opposed to the ones who leave a lot of short comments in a row?

MATT said...

BUUUUUURN! !

Brad Andrews said...

I often wonder how those commenters who consistently leave wordy, lengthy comments at Game blogs actually do with women IRL.

It all depends. This forum is not one for longer posts. Others favor more, but you are likely right that shorter is generally better.

szook said...

I have often thought about that old saw about how you have 2 ears and 1 mouth.....but who ever thought that one up failed to forsee what was about the happen when the internet and IRC appeared and people realized that they have 2 hands to type with.....

everybodyhatesscott said...

If you're a quiet person, how do you get other people to talk?

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Ask questions. People generally like to talk about themselves.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

The best salesmen are the ones who ask questions and listen the most.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Have you ever observed a group of women (e.g., hot soccer moms in yoga pants) sitting down for coffee and talking? They chat excitedly about themselves, their kids, their families, etc., as they attempt to interrupt and talk over one another and dominate the conversation. Sometimes you can see a brief, subtle look of frustration cross over a woman's face when one of her friends becomes the center of attention. It must be an exhausting experience.

I imagine that talking to real men--not chatty little girly-men--must come as a relief to a lot of women.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

If you're a quiet person, how do you get other people to talk?

Stare at them with evil intent?

Daniel said...

Men who hold back create mystery.

That's so universal, I don't even think guys deep in the Blue would disagree. Well, most.


Mystery is dangerously close to misogyny in the dictionary. Best if Mr. Blue avoids both. After all, if he isn't perfectly crystal clear about the dull details of his daily life, the poor thing is going to naturally assume that he keeps carved up hookers in the crawlspace. Of course, it wouldn't be her fault, but she might run screaming off the pedestal. Man up and avoid mystery for the sake of m'lady.

cailcorishev said...

If you're a quiet person, how do you get other people to talk?

Extroverts (most women) can't stand silence. If you don't talk, they will. Women mostly want to talk about themselves anyway; just grunt once in a while.

Doom said...

Oh, you can use "kind of", "mostly", and such. Just... use them rightly. If you need to catch a breath, or show her you won't easily go into that long goodnight, not even with her, spill the beans, look her right in the eye as you finish testifying to your fidelity, lean in a bit, look into her eyes, and say... "Mostly.". Women love to be teased with the promise, and like themselves, see that it might be... ever so slightly arbitrary... to a degree. Make them feel like they are a party to laying down the law, then opening a back door. Yeah, they like back doors. And they hate being nailed down. Sort of.

As with jokes and story-telling, it's in the intent, with large doses of timing. Find her rhythm, attune to it, then change it to your pace. Most of it is nonverbal. If she isn't into you, and can't be, move to the next table. Some women were just raised on a dill pickle, for you. Nothing good can come of it. Not long-term unless you want to be a pawn to the queen. Bleh. Milady can suck me, personally.

Desiderius said...

"Yeah not so much the fact he interrupted..."

No, it is the fact that he interrupted.

Trust said...

But but but Shmiley says if you always put woman first, do chores, kiss her ass every minute of every day, that she'll naturally reward you richly with love and sex.

Shmuley is actually a secret agent for the manosphere, ensuring Roissy is more likely to nail a wife than her husband is.

Conscientia Republicae said...

Who's Shmuley?

Trust said...

Shmiley Boteach is self proclaimed "America's Rabbi." Used to write for WND. His columns on men and women are laughable. He worships women as much as he does God. If you want to laugh your ass off, Google him.

Trust said...

Shmuley not Shmiley. I should proof better, especially as bad as I type on my phone.

modsquad said...

They don't want to know how you got your money, just how much you have. This is what allows them to date drug dealers, mob hit men and investment bankers without losing a night's sleep.

Conscientia Republicae said...

Oh ok I know who he is.

LP 999/Eliza said...

No, blog comments in excess are interesting. Online disappearances of comments are interesting too.

Non online; less talking, don't ask me questions like how I am or what I am doing or anything. Questions don't end well. Go into silent mode or do a semi-monologue I can just listen. Work, music, complaints, stories, jokes, work, technical details about work, etc., really I'm on listening mode not talking anymore. Don't expect me to carry on a dialogue or start a fight. If you start a fire fight I'll sigh in disbelief. Self deprecating humor or screaming are instanta fails.

LP 999/Eliza said...

Another public matter, if I can steal your wallet you are far too close or distracted me. I'll hand it back to you with a point made.

LP 999/Eliza said...

No, woman worship out of fear is another perversity of feminism. Worship and fearing women gotta end. All b/c a woman is silent does not indicate depression or anger, its just quiet a listening day. Even though women by far and stats are more talkative than men.

If women rec'ed sufficient time and love from mom-dad then why worship. Aza only child, my needs for attention stopped at 10. I've had to suffer through 25 years preventing people from draining my life force, all I can do for anyone is pray.

The internet is effortless, no voice required.

SirThermite said...

"Another public matter, if I can steal your wallet you are far too close or distracted me. I'll hand it back to you with a point made.

If you can steal my wallet you're a gypsy whore, and "though shalt not suffer a medium to live"..so please meet your Doom. The two of you do seem to have a common style. Though for a sorceress you certainly (Circe'ry?) don't know how to spell.

This stream-of-consciousness shtick could be fun, and takes minimal effort, so maybe I should do it more often? But does it really adds to the discourse?

Unknown said...

"They don't want to know how you got your money, just how much you have. This is what allows them to date drug dealers, mob hit men and investment bankers without losing a night's sleep".

How dare you impugn the reputations of drug dealers and mob hit men by associating them with investment bankers!

LP 999/Eliza said...

Sir, bro I wasn't serious, I have zero interest in anothers money. The intended protest point is perfectly correct!

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