Friday, January 9, 2015

The woman cries when she breaks your heart

Don't you see that when she breaks up with you, she's the one who's really suffering?
She doesn’t want anything to do with this. She hates the situation and she hates herself in this moment. She wishes more than anything that she could trade places with you. Yes, it seems like it’s a lot easier to be on her side of things. But really, she wants nothing to do with this side. She really, actually wishes she could be the one whose heart is getting broken, instead of the one who has to do the hurting....

She reminds herself that you can easily find love again, and maybe someday, you might just forget nearly everything about her. All she hopes is that you know she was trying to do her best. She was walking around blindly, completely terrified and hopeless and uncertain. But she was trying. She wanted to follow her instincts and do what she thinks was the right thing.
This is an Sigma blueprint for how to Next a woman.

I hate this situation and I hate myself. I wish more than anything I could trade places with you. Sure, it looks easier to be on my side of things, and to be having sex with a woman who is younger, hotter, and less sexually uptight than you. But I really, actually wish I could be the one whose heart is getting broken.

Don't you see that it actually hurts me more than it hurts you to hurt you? What sort of unfeeling monster are you, that you can't see how I'm the one truly suffering here?

I just hope you to know that I was trying to do my best. I'm just following my instincts and I'm afraid that one day you'll forget all about me. But I know I did the right thing, even though it was so hard. Don't, no, don't touch me now. It's too difficult. Just go... go!

56 comments:

Earl Thomas said...

'She really, actually wishes she could be the one whose heart is getting broken, instead of the one who has to do the hurting....'

Well that would require a heart that isn't made of stone and covered in ice.

JLT said...

False Rape Accusation Leads To Alaska Man’s Beating Death

jimmy-jimbo said...

Very true. I've been there myself. She doesn't shy from trying to be the sympathetic bitch from repeated calls to alleviate her guilt as if it is your problem, which it isn't. Best course of action is completely cutting off contact. Absolutely no friendly relationship for a friend does not do that.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Wonderful variation of the classic "the Jew cries out in pain as he strikes you".

These people are endlessly amusing.

Doom said...

Hmm? Oh, that's actually my trick. I probably stole it from a dame, but it's handy. Make them feel bad about you dumping them. Keeps em' on a hook too, for a later occasion. Never go back to them, but a little roll in the hay when no other woman is available is not a bad thing... *cough* for the secular idjit. Hate the women who can get away with this all you want. The problem isn't them, it's the weak men who get dumped who are vulnerable, and deserve to be. Love is war. And personally, I enjoyed the heck out of it. Even when I got the short end of the stick. See a good weapon, grab it and make it your own. Don't cry about it like a blubbering clusterfuck of a dickless wonder.

I do feel sad for men who haven't learned that having a cock makes them men, and that men should lead, fight, and win. And lose with honor, unless you really must hold a grudge. Learn how to use even that, but not in some passive-aggressive or self destructive way. Don't cry, or whine, or whimper in a corner. So many testicles stuck so far up... wherever. Drop em' and breath the free air lads. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an Emo support group here. Bleh.

Cataline Sergius said...

I've said it before.

On a Cataline's Romantic Interest Scale. Where RI:1 is complete Disinterest and RI10 is a woman's Interest when she is first in love with her Alpha. Everyday normal relationship Interest is going to hover around RI:8.

When she starts to loose RI in her guy. When she starts to slips down the scale from an RI:8 to an RI: 5. SHE WILL FAKE IT and pretend she is still at RI:7. Until she slips to an RI:4 and out of the fucking blue as it seems to the poor, poor guy. She suddenly wants to have, The Talk.

From the article;

You were wonderful. You were kind and funny and charming and engaging and everything else she was looking for.

But of course didn't really want.

But something didn’t feel right and something was missing. And she wanted to ignore it because she didn’t want to let you go.

Yeah it's hard to get a former orbiter back into a stable orbit again once he's landed. They tend to fly away completely. Very few do what they are supposed to do and sit alone in the back of their closets carving your name into their arms.

She knows more than one person is thinking she’s an idiot for saying goodbye to someone like you. Even she thinks she’s an idiot.

But she lacks the self analytical skills necessary to understand why she simply can't let herself stay with someone like you. Wonderful but not Sexy.

But we know. Don't we boys?

The completely devastating, utterly ego smashing, totally out of the blue breakup is probably the biggest reason men finally take the Red Pill.

The Reactionary said...

Sometimes I feel like I'm in an Emo support group here

We all have our cross to bear.

Tlu said...

She wishes he was the one breaking up with her.

So she's not crying because she's sad they're breaking up. She's sad that she has to take responsibility. Nice.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

The tears of women are often selfish ones.

manofstealblog said...

Great post!

Indeed the best way to offload a broad is to get her to offload herself, but flipping the script is OK too.

Owen said...

Solipsism is a helluva drug.

everybodyhatesscott said...

The completely devastating, utterly ego smashing, totally out of the blue breakup is probably the biggest reason men finally take the Red Pill.

Yup, it's definitely why I took it.

FALPhil said...

DOom wrote:
The problem isn't them, it's the weak men who get dumped who are vulnerable, and deserve to be.


That's what I was thinking as I was LMAO.

Next time someone asks me what 'solipsism' is, I am going to send them the link to that blog entry.

Cataline Sergius said...

She wishes he was the one breaking up with her.

In theory, yes. But absolutely never in practice.

If right before she delivers the dread words, "you know I still love you," with the traditional look of pained sorrow on her face.

If instead, you take her hands and give her the , "it's not you. It's me," speech.

The result will not be relief on her part. Even though she was about to dump you and was really broken up about it.

If you beat her to the punch, you will not provoke relief in her. You will have nothing but indignation, rage and fury from her despite the fact that she was done with you.

de ti said...

Here’s a hamsterlation of the quoted article:

“I like you, but I’m just not attracted to you. The thing that’s “missing” is your lack of attraction. The truth of it is: I don’t want to fuck you anymore. Or I wasn’t really attracted to you but I was willing to fuck you because you had other things I wanted. But I’ve discovered that’s not enough.

“Maybe other people think I’m stupid for breaking up with you. And I might be stupid for breaking up with you. And someday I might regret this. But I don’t give a shit about someday. I care about what tingles me, and I care about right now. And right now, I don’t want to fuck you, and that’s more important than anything else.

“I don’t really feel bad about hurting you. I feel bad because I am worried about whether I can still have the option of having you around so I can use you if I need shit or just need someone to talk to. I could see from your reaction that you’re probably not going to accept my offer of “friends”, which means you won’t be around to do stuff for me when I want and be an emotional tampon. I don’t really want to be friends; but I want the option of being able to use you.

I am really, really hoping that you won’t be a dick about this. But if you ARE a dick about this, then I can just project all this on you for being a shallow asshole who cares only about sex and the fact that you didn’t give a shit about me and my needs.

“The other thing I feel bad about is that I know what a shallow bitch I am, breaking up with you just because I don’t want to fuck you, or I want to stop fucking you. Or, more to the point, I want to avoid feeling obligated to fuck you. That’s the real reason this is ending, but we all know I can’t say that because if I do, you’ll JUDGE me – you’ll tell everyone how I dicked you over and used you and tossed you aside. That will make me feel even worse because then everyone else might judge me.

“So to cover all this, I need to construct something that might (1) keep you around so I can use you when I need to; (2) obscure the fact that all this is about me not wanting to fuck you; (3) help me look like I feel just as bad as you do about this not working; (4) keep me from looking like a superficial idiot; and (5) if all else fails, blame you for not caring about how I feel. And that’s why I’m going to say publicly that I’m just as torn up as you are over our breakup, if not more so.”

Robert What? said...

Wait ... is this a variation on the "it's not you it's me" line?

JCclimber said...

Deti, spot on, although I'd say you forgot the part about how no matter what happens, she will rewrite the entire relationship into one where she is the good person and he is just a loser (various flavor of loser, as needed). And through the magic of female hormones, this will become established fact in her mind, to the point of easily passing a lie detector test.

Remember though, it is a feature and not a flaw. You really think any woman would have sex again after delivering their first child, if they thought logically and their brain didn't have a feature like this?

Trust said...

Reminds me of this wife. Blamed her husband for everything, left him, and continued to blame him until she saw him with another girl.
http://www.drlaura.com/b/Your-Words-FINALLY-Sank-In/-341410752822299674.html?utm_campaign=0108finally-sank-in&utm_medium=letter&utm_source=email&utm_content=01.09.2015&utm_term=link&mkt_tok=3RkMMJWWfF9wsRoks63JZKXonjHpfsX57e0sWaWg38431UFwdcjKPmjr1YIIT8N0aPyQAgobGp5I5FEOTrPYWblvt6YNWw%3D%3D

Her tears are just a deflection of responsibility and an attempt to gain control.

de ti said...

Almost all the time, when a woman breaks it off with a man, it is because she isn't sexually attracted to him. She either (1) doesn't want to fuck him; or (2) wants to stop fucking him.

Remember this, young men, when a girl says things like "I just want to be friends" or "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "it's just not working out" or "we don't have much in common.". These are all woman speak for "I don't want to have sex with you

de ti said...

“Remember though, it is a feature and not a flaw. You really think any woman would have sex again after delivering their first child, if they thought logically and their brain didn't have a feature like this?”


Yes, the “I don’t want to have sex with you because I don’t want to reproduce with you” is a feature. Unfortunately for a lot of men not "in the know", it’s actually one that women pay less attention to as they age. The urge to reproduce starts drowning out the urge for alpha sperm as she gets older. So what invariably happens is she compromises sexy for other traits, notably provider stability. Voila! Alpha Fux, Beta Bux.

cailcorishev said...

These are all woman speak for "I don't want to have sex with you."

Also, just to be clear: some guys may say, "Well, that's okay, because I'm a good Christian, so I shouldn't be having sex with her anyway, and I want a girl who's waiting for marriage. What are you, some kind of PUA cad?" But this isn't about whether she will have sex with you; this is about whether she wants to. If you're dating a girl and you've agreed to keep it chaste, and she breaks it off this way, it still means the same thing: she doesn't want to have sex with you, not even someday.

de ti said...

Trust:

The Dr. Laura piece synopsis: Woman with 3 kids from prior marriage marries beta provider airline pilot. He goes through work difficulties, they move for work, move back again. She is a bitch harpie nag who finally leaves him. For 2 years he begs her to reconcile; she refuses and pulls further and further away. Finally, she sees him with a girlfriend. She calls up her soon to be ex husband and says “Still too late?” He says “no” and takes her back.

He’s a chump. She’s a bitch who hates him.

Trust said...

Thanks for summing it up de ti.

In a nutshell: loyalty didn't impress her. His struggles earned her disdain, and no sympathy. His undying love was scoffed at. But seeing him with another woman? That impresses her. For now anyway.

Two words: competition anxiety. It worked, but now the competition is gone... the wife's desire will soon follow.

Remo said...

Reading all these stories about women dumping perfectly good if beta men because tingles decline makes me yearn for the days of exposure, starvation, and roving gangs of marauders. It seems the only real way for a non super alpha to maintain a woman's interest long term is for the alternative to be facing a dangerous world alone. Funny how compatibility, growing apart, and all the other nonsense disappears when the choice is stay and live with it or leave and be raped to death by robbers or starve to death in the cold. The good old days in Europe might not have been fun - I personally wouldn't want to face the black plague sans anti-biotics, but at least the marriages were stable enough to kick start and maintain Western civilization. Not so now...

Unknown said...

Not just competition game, but keep competition, if if married, a mistess, just as the French do. Works out great: Wife does the laundry, kids stuff, cleaning and the occasional masturbatory sex with you. The mistress is strictly for nasty sex and relaxing recreation. Win-Win!

Eric said...

I've always viewed this as the coward's way to dump someone. If the victim is at all intelligent it's pretty transparent, too, which makes it worse than just laying out The Way Things Are.

Dexter said...

Bah, every time I've been dumped, I did not sense her suffering at all. They were totally cold and ruthless about it, and seemed to resent having to say anything to me about it at all. Any complaints or requests to have a conversation about it simply provoked exasperation and resentment, like it was all my fault for being difficult.

Ron said...

This is an amazing post.

mmaier2112 said...

I loved this the first time I read it, but I would only use it if she were being bitchy. If she's matter of fact about dumping me and not weaselish, I wouldn't do this. Still funny though. And I really wish I'd had the POV to do it my first real breakup.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1055398/posts

mmaier2112 said...

Click What to Do When Women Break Up With You

Vox said...

It's very good, but it's not perfect. Perfect is: "Okay. No problem. Anything else?" Then, after some various babble on her part. "All right. Take it easy, then."

Brevity and emotional nonchalance is the key. She's attuned to hear you try to strike back at her. The idea that you can't even bother is far more cutting than anything you can say, and will set the hamster to spinning for a long, long time.

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