Friday, August 8, 2014

Dependence and the male response

Many women struggle with the concept of submission. They assume that men think like they do, that men respect and are drawn to shows of strength and independence and look down on displays of weakness, fragility, and dependence. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The other day I was out walking with two little girls and two very large dogs that outweighed them by a considerable amount. One of the dogs belonged to one little girl, who was naturally not in the least bit afraid of either of the brutes. The other little girl, her friend, was somewhat afraid of dogs in general, so she was naturally a bit nervous to be in the vicinity of two such oversized specimens.

I didn't really know her, nor am I the sort of man who particularly likes children that are not his own. However, when the dogs began playing with each other, barking, and charging back and forth, I felt a little hand slip into mine.

What I found interesting was that I immediately felt an instinctive sense of responsibility for her that I had not felt the moment before. Not that I would have ever permitted the dogs to harm her; the reason I was present on the walk in the first place was to ensure that the beasts didn't get out of hand in case we ran into anyone else. But her gesture was a request that said: "I'm scared, please protect me", to which the normal male response is to feel more affectionate and sympathetic towards the individual for whom he has accepted the responsibility of protecting.

This is why young couples often like to see horror movies together. It is an emotionally bonding experience, as the girl seeks the feeling of being protected and the boy has the opportunity to assume, however hypothetically, the role of her protector.

Because women don't think like men, they don't understand that being challenging is intrinsically unattractive to men. It provokes the man's fight (or flight) response rather than his protective response, but since in most cases the man actually doesn't want to fight, it leaves him feeling frustrated and conflicted. Being submissive, on the other hand, provokes a protective response, and the subsequent affection.

So, if you are a woman, consider what sort of response you wish to provoke in a man. Do you wish him to feel more affectionate to you or less? Because that is exactly the choice you are making when you decide to behave in a submissive manner or not, regardless of your intent.

31 comments:

Phoenix said...

Well said

GF Dad said...

Excellent post. I had never considerd horror movies in that context - I always viewed them as a way to have the flesh clawed off your arm and a reason why you never let the girl chose the movie. My wife doesn't care for the genre, but looking back at the girls I dated and which ones loved horror movies, understanding their backgrounds and ultimately game, it all makes a little more sense. Thanks.

Tank said...

Very creative way to approach this issue.

SarahsDaughter said...

This does not mean that a woman must always agree with a man to maintain his affection. This is where women and feminized men get confused about submission, that the women has no individual thought that might be different than the man's. It's simply not true. Also, a man who feels affectionate towards a woman is more likely to listen to and consider her opposing opinion. We, women, would do well to learn how to disagree with a man without challenging him. A lost art lately it seems.

And it's quite stupid, actually. If a woman challenges a man while asserting her opposing opinion and he changes his opinion to agreement with hers, she loses respect for him. Whereas if she approaches the conversation submissively and maintains his affection towards her, considers her opposing opinion and then finds agreement with her, she maintains respect for him.

Just one of many ways women shoot their own damn selves in the foot.

Matamoros said...

This does not mean that a woman must always agree with a man to maintain his affection.

A submissive woman can make her point and then be perfectly comfortable with the man choosing his own direction. I have found that women just want their opinions considered, not that they have to be adopted. If he maintains his masculinity, shows some affection, and pulls her in his direction she'll come along.

There can only be one captain on a ship. Once the captain makes the decision the crew has to follow it. Anything else is mutiny, whether on a ship or in a marriage. Willing submission is something women today must practice as they are not taught it as in ages past; but once learned leaves the stress of decision-making behind.

Miguel D'Anconia said...

Great post Vox. I concur 100%. Submissive doesn't mean door mat.

Michael said...

This seems to be one of the things both women and men don't grasp: that women and men are opposites in almost every way.

Natalie said...

I did this almost by accident when dating my now husband. He liked to talk about fairly big topics like theology and economics. I don't like small talk myself, but suddenly I wasn't one of the smartest people in the room. So instead of directly challenging his opinions I found myself doing a lot of "Well, I learned about X in class today - how does that apply here?" or "Does this have ramifications with regard to Y?" In other words, we talked about all manner of things and occasionally even got really frustrated trying to explain things, but since my MO involved soliciting more information and trying to make connections instead of setting up full blown "You are wrong!" counter-arguments my husband walked about feeling that he'd had a very interesting conversation with a lovely woman and come out very well and wouldn't mind doing that again. We've done it frequently ever since. I think one time we redesigned the National Park system to fit in with a Christian theocracy :D It's a lot of fun.

Brad Andrews said...

SD, my wife and I are having a huge bump on that very issue now.

Brad Andrews said...

@Matamoros,

> I have found that women just want their opinions considered, not that they have to be adopted.

I tend to disagree with this. My wife often says that, but will generally admit that she only feels I hear her when I go her way. That is a huge stumbling block as it demands the wife be the lead, not just be heard. It is also up to the wife to feel she is heard, not for the husband to do so. I can hear my wife and disagree, but that normally leaves her feeling she has not been heard.

The underlying idea I suspect is that I would agree with her if I really heard her. Hard to counteract that as a husband.

jimmy-jimbo said...

Women are unable to separate the concept of equality with relationships. While having equal opportunity in work and education is a good goal, they want the same in relationships. This doesn't work in real life.

SarahsDaughter said...

Sorry to hear that Brad.

We wives have control over the respect we feel towards our husbands. We are horrible, however, at self examination. If we ask ourselves, "when do I feel happiest?" and pay attention to the circumstances that surround our joy, we'll find that it is when we are respecting our husbands, not rousing him to anger or challenging him, treating him (coincidentally or purposefully) as we are instructed to in the Bible. If we ask ourselves, "when do I feel depressed and unhappy?" and pay attention to the circumstances that surround that distressed feeling, we'll see that it is when we are rebelling against/challenging our husbands.

Under careful scrutiny, an honest women will find that she indeed doesn't feel happiest when her husband caves to her after surrendering due to her emotional manipulation (if you really heard me, you'd agree with me). As well, under careful scrutiny, an honest woman will find that she actually feels happy when her husband is the decider - even when his decision disagrees with hers.

SarahsDaughter said...

Natalie illustrates a perfect example of what I just said. And notice why she didn't challenge him, even though she didn't agree with him, it was a new relationship and she wanted him to feel that he'd "had a very interesting conversation with a lovely woman and come out very well and wouldn't mind doing that again." And she had joy. Being a woman who must enjoy feeling joy, she's continued to interact with him in the same way.

The question women really need to be honest with themselves about it, "do I want to feel joy?"

Vox said...

The underlying idea I suspect is that I would agree with her if I really heard her. Hard to counteract that as a husband.

You have two choices. Crush her brutally and show her that she's wrong or agree and amplify. Your best option may be to switch between the two randomly; women always respond well to confusion.

One thing I do when women are being stupid is to just let them walk face first into the wall when they're heading for it. I used to give them a single warning, then smile and say "okay" when they went on to explain they knew what they were doing and so forth. Now I don't even bother with the warning.

Men spend way too much time trying to save women from the consequences of their actions. They shouldn't. That's why women don't learn.

Puzzle Privateer said...

Want to be the fragile, feminine woman men will love & respect? Emulate Audrey Hepburn.

insanitybytes22 said...

Charming and well said, Vox. I suppose I'll have to stop snapping at you now.

Brad Andrews said...

I find it so ironic that agree and amplify seems to be a challenge for me when I tend to use sarcasm at times. Have to think about that more and pay attention to conversations.

Michael Orloff said...

"being challenging is intrinsically unattractive to men... Being submissive, on the other hand, provokes a protective response, and the subsequent affection"
So simple, so true, but disregarded by so many.

Bob Wallace said...

'This does not mean that a woman must always agree with a man to maintain his affection.'

Carl Jung said that women's greatest sin is thinking she is always right. There's even a comedy routine about this Defending the Caveman - in which the author stated that men find women mysterious and are okay with it, while women think men are always wrong - which they aren't. I'm sure that's one of the reasons women haven't been allowed to vote, and with any luck, won't be allowed once again. And 99% I have found I don't care what a woman thinks, because they don't know what they're talking about, so it's best if a woman changes her mind to agree with her husband. It's why single women vote commie/fascist - they put both Hitler and Obama in office - and married women vote Republican.

SarahsDaughter said...

I suppose I'll have to stop snapping at you now.

If he's anything like my husband (phlegmatic), it won't matter, if he's done with you he's done. You came back with a meek "Can I say something?" Were given an opportunity and didn't let much time go by before you flew your freak flag again. It may just be best you go away.

insanitybytes22 said...

"It may just be best you go away."

In case I haven't said it half a dozen times already Sarah, women like you piss me off far more than any man ever has. I happen to despise your particular brand of sexual competitiveness, so blow it out your ear. Unlike you, I didn't come here for constant male approval. I have plenty of that on the ground, IRL.

dw said...

Hmm, accusing SD of competing for mens attention, flying off the handle when faced with a different opinion, and getting pissed off at other women interacting positively with men. That you again GG, still as tiresome as ever?

SirHamster said...

What I found interesting was that I immediately felt an instinctive sense of responsibility for her that I had not felt the moment before.

I first felt that while playing with a baby niece in high school. She decided I made a comfy bed and relaxed on me, and I suddenly had an intense protective feeling - "I'm going to protect this with my LIFE".

For a listless teenager, that surge of instinct was eye-opening. "What was that? Why did it feel so right?"

liberranter said...

Beautifully said, Vox.

Men spend way too much time trying to save women from the consequences of their actions. They shouldn't. That's why women don't learn.

Pure PLATINUM.

Vox said...

In case I haven't said it half a dozen times already Sarah, women like you piss me off far more than any man ever has. I happen to despise your particular brand of sexual competitiveness, so blow it out your ear. Unlike you, I didn't come here for constant male approval.

Translation: The men like you better than me. I HATE YOU!

subject by design said...

Michael Orloff said, "So simple, so true, but disregarded by so many. "

To my mind, this is like saying, "Just be yourself" to a man. I find it very difficult to disagree or to ask my husband to help me understand something without it being interpreted as a challenge. I should record myself talking to him, maybe listening to it would make it more obvious what I'm doing wrong. :)

Submitting in the presence of physical danger, like scary dogs or horror movies seems more natural. In the realm of intellectual discourse, it is not natural. Probably because I've been educated beyond my own ability to use the knowledge I've accumulated. :)

ray said...

"Carl Jung said that women's greatest sin is thinking she is always right."


Carl saw the handwriting on the American Matriarchy. He was not complimentary about the U.S. emasculate and his Bossy Betters. That was a century ago, too... BEFORE the 'feminist movement'. I'm over sixty, and I am still waiting for the FIRST time to hear an American woman say either 'I was wrong' or 'I am sorry'.

Not difficult to discern what's destroying American society. There's just no courage or will to point out the truth.

Females rule over males in every aspect of U.S. culture. To take just one element, the civil and criminal 'justsis' systems are nothing but soft tyranny. Goddess help you if you are a boy or man and you are brought before these thieving, arrogant, cowardly monstresses.

Yet women, feminists, and conservatives/libertanians/etc. continue to beat the dead horse, demanding (and, ludicrously, actually expecting) the same men who have been thugged by the gynarchy for the past half-century to Man Up and marry their Empowered and Entitiled daughters, and to continue contributing their blood and sweat to a nation that HATES them, and makes no secret of its loathing either.

Mr. Superintelligence is in the <1 percentile of parents-of-daughters in understanding the totalitarianism of western feminist societies. Yet despite this huge advantage, he and the other daughter-daddies still expect men simply to ignore and deny the comprehensive power that his daughter and wife have, merely by being female, over all other (non-wealthy) males in the U.S. We live in a castrated culture in which NO female can ever be wrong, in any context... legal or otherwise. Men live at the pleasure of America's daughters, with a clot of Shotgun Boyos standing behind them, lots of shiny cuffs and chains attached to their fancy macho military belts, with which they demon-strate to the (OTHER) males in the nation that if The Little Lady says "I feel afraid" well the Sheriff's Department immediately empties out, to land upon your front doorstep, hammering on the door and demanding your response to.... well to whatever facile, self-serving lie the Little Lovlies have conjured up upon the moment, to elicit the Desired Effect and Consequences.

Multiply this across all k-k-kultural kontexts, and you have the Titty Tyranny which has dominated America for decades. Yet, astonishingly, Vox and Company actually expect men happily to sustain and further this hatefest, and even more astonishingly, to marry their daughters under a civil system which strips all power from husbands/men, and awards it to females (and to themselves and their Careers, of course, as proxy powers and profiteers).

The day is coming when girls and women will be frightened of REAL unleashed dogs, and they will reach for the Protective Hand, but that hand will be closed to them. And no amount of man-shaming, cajoling, mancage-building, and threatening is going to alter that, because the underlying problems (the vast overempowerment, overprotection, and overentitilement of women/girls) hasn't been addressed.... much less actually decommed and reformed.

FIRST, overthrow the western Vaginocracies. THEN install Biblical standards, INCLUDING for your perfect daughters and wives, who no longer will be above the Law. And THEN the fists will open into hands of protection, and THEN you can demand that men Man Up and support/defend 'civilization'.

Cheers.

JCclimber said...

I expect this is a major reason why women are 4 times more likely to become christian if their husband becomes one, than the other way around.

If a christian wife submitted to her husband in all ways that did not conflict with her commitment with God, it would make her religion much more attractive.

Imagine: husband shouting at a wife because she has gone to church for a few hours.
Scenario A: If she quietly gets down on her knees and looks down at his feet, and remains mostly silent ---
Scenario B: She stands up for herself, gets in his face, and demands her right to go where she wants for a few hours, and starts calling out all the immoral things that her husband does every day.

Scenario A can say "I will obey all that you decide, except that I will continue to go to church and serve God as well."

Which one is the husband going to be in a receptive mood to her religion? Which one will put him into a situation where he is fighting for his authority in the marriage?

Brad Andrews said...

I did analyze my conversation the other day and I may use "agree and amplify" more than I thought. I found things like that came out in my speech more than I expected.

Interesting what you find when you listen to yourself.

k8 said...

Does it count as being submissive if you submit your way into getting everything you want all the time? Isn't that how women are supposed to operate? I've never understood feminists for that reason. There is really no point in yelling and screaming when batting your eyelashes will get the job done so much more easily.

Pussy-ManiaGirls: http://goo.gl/w9Oepq said...

watching my collection, we have upload more video at here:

Collection Part 1:

Doggy Style and In Missionary Position

Hot Sex Anal With Amazing Girl Friend

Sex Under Hot Lights Bad Girls

Give Me The Cum

Cum In My Panties

Nude Amateur Teen Girls

Sexy Brunette Girls

Young Kinky Sluts

Busty Tattoo Chick On Car

Young Asian fucked anal

Latina Havana Ginger gets

Teen Threesome Porn

Hot Blowjob

Amateur Pulls Down Tanga

Sweet girl amazing hot

Sexy japanese babes getting their tight

TEEN BLONDE ANAL SEX ORGY




Collection Part 2:


Hot asian blowjob and pussy creampie

Sucking dick, Audrey put vegetables in all holes

Blonde love fuck

Naomi Russell And Her Royal Ass

Sexy blonde gives blowjob in the car

ASIAN XXX PORN VIDEO

JAPANESE XXX PORN VIDEO

ARABIC XXX PORN VIDEO

HARDCORE PORN VIDEO

GAY XXX PORN VIDEO

WATCH STREAMING PORN VIDEO

USA CELEBS XXX PORN

LATINA XXX PORN

LESBIAN XXX PORN

Hardcore Porn Celebrity

HOT TURKEY PORN MOVIE

INDIAN NUDES CELEBRITIES VIDEOS

UZBEKS Fuck PORN VIDEOS

HOT RASTA GIRL


100% MAKE you satisfy......








































Reply Delete

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.