Pro tip: when attempting to make up with a boyfriend or girlfriend on whom you have cheated, do not, under any circumstances*, quote ADOLF HITLER!
*
Unless your boyfriend or girlfriend is a confirmed neo-Nazi. Then I suppose it might be all right. But otherwise, no.
69 comments:
Cheating whore should have quoted Magda Goebbels and replaced Hitler with YOU:
“Love is meant for husbands, but my love for you is stronger, I would give my life for it.”
A Gentlemen’s Guide To Rape Culture
...Here’s a bullet-point list of examples of rape culture.
· Inflating false rape report statistics
· Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history
· Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive...
And if he had been treating her like this the entire relationship, she likely would not have ever cheated.
I say only "likely" because many a woman-child these days are so beyond the pale, so deeply uncivilized, so without any patience or loyalty or perspective, that they respond positively only to constant domination. This guy, who clearly can run circles (emotionally and intellectually) around her when he wants, at some point played it too nice or too sweet for too long. Which is not to blame him. Her immature little woman-girl inside is so vacuous and without any structure of real character that she responds only to.... savagery. And a nigh-constant flow of drama-savagery-domination and disqualifying. She eats it up. When Grog beat her over head wif big stic, she love.
Far too many modern women-girls need high dosages of emotional and/or physical sexual brutality and aggression to keep their non-existent attention spans for more than a week or two. For any male who wishes to stay sane, to be a decently balanced human being, and occasionally treat others without open contempt, and just gets fucking tired and likes to treat a girl nice every once in a while (and likes a woman who knows how to accept it), eventually these girls go bye-bye.
Most women these days have no, no, no idea the damage they are doing to themselves by unleashing their "sexuality" as they call it. Better put their "inner whore." Many of these women are far more savage and brutish, without even realizing it, and thereby need the same type of savagery from a man to feel anything for that man.
Like the war veterans who cannot shake memories of the war merely because they were the most emotionally powerful moments of their lives. Like the drug addict who needs an ever-higher dosage just to feel anything, just to feel normal, much less to feel 'good'. All else seems so... blah. Inured to sin. Sin is death. And woe be to those who think that the darkness of sin is actually light.
Girl is delusional ... completely delusional. As all girls are.
Best part, when she goes: "Im not mad at you for anything".
As fun as that was to watch.
RADIO...FREAKIN...SILENCE
Radio silence ain't no fun.
Why do you recommend it?
"It was just one guy."
Faithfulness is binary, either faithful or not. Not 'well 1 is close to 0, so it shouldn't really count, and it's not like I slept with 10 other guys, and he knows about the one so I'll admit to that, even though there was another that I hadn't told him about and....'
Only one guy (that he found out about). What's the likelihood that a girl who will sleep with your best friend wouldn't sleep with a stranger you've never met?
And the "one guy" was his best friend... Nuts!
He should have "tried to reconcile" with some anal and then sent her on her way. Would need to record it to avoid the regret rape charge from this crazy girl.
Yes! "Regret rape." I will begin employing that term. What a perfect way to put it.
This dialogue is such an amazing example of the female mind at work. Avoiding real responsibility and consequences even in the midst of attempting to admit mistake, all in a half-assed, non-genuine manner. Truly amazing moral and mental gymnastics at work. This happens at all levels of society with women, no matter how 'educated' or rich or poor. You will hear the exact same shameless attempts to divert or deflect shame or blame, to minimize damage through various rhetorical means, to attack the messenger, accuse others of harshness or 'meaness', and on and on. All instead of womanning-up and saying "yeah, i was dumb whore. I don't deserve your trust, friendship, anything from you."
This is a good example of what a guy should do if his girlfriend ever cheats on him. Ditch her. Better to be alone than to spend your entire life with this kind of woman.
@Rek
Because if I don't intend to further engage in a relationship with her (and I would not), then why waste the time and energy? I never have a shortage of things to do - but engaging the stupidity that is this girl would be of no value. She will not learn from it, and any effort from me will be taken by her as the possibility she still has a shot - which will only result in further pleading and rationalization.
She should hear the quiet sound of a bubble popping when she messes up that bad and that is it. From then on she can wonder where'd e go?
My dad always told me it isn't cheating unless you're married. I'm fairly sure he meant dating other people and not sex, but it made me wonder about him and what he might have put my mom through...
What was perfectly done here was holding the frame. Not attempting even ONE explanation as to why a girlfriend having sex with one's best friend is something for which there can be no expectation of forgiveness. But, rather, treating it as obvious (which it is) all the way.
There is a strong BETA impulse to shout, exasperated, "It was my goddamned BEST FRIEND!" No, that is a sign of weakness. Now you're trying to justify YOURSELF, and you have just lost the frame. Now the frame is that you are the bad guy for not forgiving, and you are trying to justify yourself. You have entered the hamster's territory, and it is going to beat you with experience.
No, just keep treating it as obvious, and treating every attempt to justify or rationalize it as a deliberate insult, albeit a very incompetent one. Shoot it down with a simple, non-committal, cruel response. Inflict an emotional cost for each attempt, and they will stop.
and it's not like I slept with 10 other guys,
Are we still counting in binary here or have we switched back to decimal?
Funny. He sounds a little butthurt. What he should have done was cut her off completely--no explanations, no texts, nothing--or keep her around as a fuck toy until he found a new girl.
I saw this yesterday on Facebook and it is hilarious, but I agree with no contact.
Silence is not what is needed anymore. For too long men have been silent and women don't know why suddenly they just stop dealing with them. We need to vocalize our distaste of women who behave that way. It doesn't have to be whiny as this is a perfect example of how to handle it.
Silence is the new BETA. Avoiding confrontation is BETA.
What he should have done was cut her off completely
"Should" for what purpose? To get her to stop bugging him with maximum probability in minimum time? Possibly. But it seems to me that the guy is enjoying the cruelty, and that is a value in itself.
The conversation is funny, but it is a mistake to let it get this long. It isn't worth the text messages and the work it takes to send the clever photos. The last line can have legal repercussions. A guy can't be too careful. Radio silence is the better way. Or better yet, do a number block.
@Swift
Maybe you are right...maybe we should deal with women rationally. Lemme know how that works out - cuz you are the first man ever to have that idea and there is no empirical data on men attempting to deal rationally with women.
Conversely, you have two choices: Be part of the carousel, or let women hang themselves with their own rope.
Inversely, a right-minded woman would have to put herself in the path of a right-minded man in order for life-long happiness. Because in the current model, men who don't want to enjoy cruelty, or make themselves better jerks, may glean golden kernels from game plan-type sites, but for the most part they will ignore the dingbats infesting the jagged cliff face that is our world
"To deal rationally with women" just means you give a woman another chance to hang you with your rope.
"We need to vocalize our distaste of women who behave that way" Huh??? They KNOW their own behavior. You can't deal with a woman rationally. They will find way to rationalize their irrational behavior. I've been there and done that. You don't give a woman a second chance. Just tell her... YOU BLEW IT. Go away.
Giving her your peace of mind will only embolden her. She is has a second opportunity to justify her actions and insist you take her back. Just follow the thread above. She can't even accept one Tweet. She is already name calling (dick, douchey, asshole) and this was well before quoting Adolf Hitler. I would have stop texting much earlier like after "no".
I agree that silence here is beta. Splashing it across the internetz, world-wide? An alpha strike of shame! A burning example that should be studied by all young men, and feared by all young women.
You can't deal with a woman rationally. They will find way to rationalize their irrational behavior. I've been there and done that.
He doesn't mean trying to get her to see that she has done wrong; that would be insanity. He means letting her know in no uncertain terms how much she disgusts you. As many times as necessary.
If he really wanted to get rid of her, he should have cut her off and moved on, rather than letting this little incident play out for her benefit, and sounding like a butthurt beta in the process. Don't think for a minute that she isn't enjoying the drama. I could even picture her smiling as she texted him.
He, on the other hand, sounds like a butthurt beta: "Why don't you stop breathing"..."Despite the fact that you cheated on me with my bestfriend"..."Murder your family"..."I may be a dick but at least I'm faithful"...
What a drama queen! lol
The other option (which is what I probably would have done) was play it down and keep her around as a fuck doll while looking for a new gf (or gf's).
"He means letting her know in no uncertain terms how much she disgusts you. As many times as necessary."
Okay, I can see that to avoid being beta, you're being beta. You're crying about how much she hurt you. You're also threading a needle. I'm doing this (alpha), not doing that (beta). Who's keeping track anyways?
What is real Alpha behavior? Maybe disappearing and showing up at a high profile event with a new girlfriend. It isn't going backwards and rehashing your pain with "you know who".
You're crying about how much she hurt you.
No, I'm responding to each attempt of shaming me into forgiveness with a short response that reminds her how much she disgusts me, until she figures out that my response will be consistent and painful every time. I wouldn't initiate contact under any circumstances.
To what end, you ask? Because it is true, and truth has its own value.
"until she figures out "
You're trying this out with a known cheater. If you're just dating, there is no obligation to do more.
You're trying this out with a known cheater. If you're just dating, there is no obligation to do more.
Everybody figures out the relationship between an action, and consistently feeling pain after the action, in which case they will eventually stop performing said action. Out of instinct. Not reason.
But, that is merely an added benefit. The main thing is that the fact that she disgusts me is true, and saying truth has its own value. It is its own reward.
But note that I'm not saying that this is the one correct way. You say what occurs to you. If silence occurs to you, then you remain silent. You don't change your natural response to one or the other "because that's what an ALPHA would do."
This guy seemed to enjoy making those pictures. Then you do what amuses you. For its own reward. If it doesn't amuse you, then you don't spend the time. Even if you did, you wouldn't get it right. It would seem artificial and try-hard.
Silence is not what is needed anymore. For too long men have been silent and women don't know why suddenly they just stop dealing with them.
The only thing preventing women from knowing what they did wrong in a relationship is their own egos. Women can rationalize anything, as the above example illustrates.
---
This is a good example of what a guy should do if his girlfriend ever cheats on him. Ditch her. Better to be alone than to spend your entire life with this kind of woman.
The only acceptable way to take an unfaithful woman back is if you catch her with another man and promptly beat her senseless. In any other form she won't ever respect you for taking her back.
"It is its own reward."
Considering that the cheater is a woman, the reward is to the woman's benefit to continue to have unwarranted attention derived from the bad behavior. If you think you're getting your just rewards from giving your peace of mind instead of letting it fester as some will say, then go ahead.
In the case of a man who cheats, usually they like to bury it as in "I did what?" The woman scorned will bring it up constantly, yet in many cases, the man stays because the woman might not give up the relationship. The dynamic changes depending on who cheated.
In the end, the cheater will still be a cheater. You give your peace of mind. The situation never changes. However, I just think giving it all you got to a woman cheater is pretty much acting like a woman. You might just be humiliating yourself.
If you think you're getting your just rewards from giving your peace of mind
"You disgust me" in its various forms is not going to alleviate the festering. Nor is my enjoyment of saying it in the form of peace of mind. It is the same enjoyment as WATCHING a deserved beat-down. Remember, as I've said several times, the response is not about explaining to her how and what she has done wrong. She knows that already. It is about reducing her feelings of self-worth to the level where it corresponds to reality, namely zero. Because there is an appropriateness to things corresponding to reality.
@Markku: Okay, I get it. You want to lower her self-esteem. You show her contempt. This comes after she shows real contempt for you by cheating. I don't know any other way to show her contempt any worse except by burning all her clothes and dumping it on the street.
Well, not exactly. Rather, of the possibilities available to me (including not responding) I choose the one that has that benefit. Instinctively in reality; this is just an ex post facto analysis of how the reasoning might have gone, were it conscious.
However, if this was an SMS, so that I would have to PAY a few cents for it, then I would simply not respond. The cost would offset the benefit.
"Well, not exactly."
You're really after something quite difficult for me to grasp. Is this worth it? I keep trying to figure out how you will achieve your goal, yet it is quite a narrow gate. What you're after will go over anyone's head, let along to a known cheater.
"not responding"
The better choice.
What you're after will go over anyone's head, let along to a known cheater.
"You disgust me. Don't contact me again." in all its variations (including working it up into a response to a specific question, like "What do you want me to DO?" - "To go to hell.") is not going to go over the head of even a known cheater. Literally EVERYONE understands the words "you disgust me".
You are confusing the actual response, and the ex post facto reasoning in this thread (which exists only due to you interrogating me - it wouldn't be any part of the interaction) for why I would instinctively choose to respond like that instead of not at all. The two are entirely different things.
*if it were a free instant messaging service, as mentioned earlier
This stuff. Has to. CHANGE.
~ EL
Okay, I can see that to avoid being beta, you're being beta.
No, you're missing the point.
What is real Alpha behavior?
Going out with another girl. How he treats her is irrelevant and he should do whatever suits him. That will vary from one man to another. This guy clearly enjoys the game. Nothing wrong with that.
"If he really wanted to get rid of her, he should have cut her off and moved on, rather than letting this little incident play out for her benefit, and sounding like a butthurt beta in the process."
Tryhard.
This part is gold:
"Just know, you'll never find someone like me again."
"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for..."
Only one guy (that he found out about). What's the likelihood that a girl who will sleep with your best friend wouldn't sleep with a stranger you've never met?
I agree a woman like that will never stop at one, but it's possible the friend was the first.
This is fake but awesome. Rape!
"You never asked if I love you"
::sniffle sniffle:::
I wonder if this dude was crying as he typed those words.
::sniffle sniffle:::
I wonder if this dude was crying as he typed those words.
This is such an epic failure to understand subtext, that I'm starting to see the problem.
The problem is that certain parties are over-thinking it.
Uh, the guy does not sound like a butthurt beta in any way, at least not in how he's handling this text exchange. He's detached, toying with her, clearly enjoying it, and socially embarrassing her in the process. Which she deserves. Her retorts are laughable, childish, and he just toys with her more.
You can be Alpha and have emotions, morals, standards and yes, even be angered by being deceived by a girlfriend. All that is very healthy. Alpha is strength, not being inhuman. Alpha means having emotions, but having enough control over them to communicate to dumb bitches that they will not be the beneficiaries of said passions, energy, and badassness once they fail to meet your standards. Those standards can be just about anything, the Alpha part being when the man actually holds her to those standards with unapologetic reward and punishment systems to back it up.
I'm all with Markku on this one. You all are misunderstanding him. If another man cut her off completely, fine, that would 'work'. If another man toyed with her for another few days for all to see, fine, that would work for him. If another took her back to treat her like a prozzie for a weekend, taking pictures, then dumped her on her ass and share the pics with the world, then good for him. If another man just asked to meet at a cafe and 'talk', walked in, looked her in the eye and said "you're a whore, you disgust me," then walked out, that works too.
Either way, the girl gets the point. If she doesn't get the point, again, then who cares? Every man may have their own needs or impulses for finishing off a relationship in the way he feels best. Owning it and doing it his way, one way or another, is what's Alpha for him. As long as the end of it includes ditching her, or possibly toying with her cruelly for some time with no intention to every truly take her back, then it's Alpha. Toying with her or saying 'you disgust me' is NOT reflective of caring too much or being 'beta' with her, it just reflects the specific desires or needs of the man. It could be reflective of a man who is completely done with her, but in a wholly detached way wishes that someone tell her what she may have never heard in her entire life... that she is disgusting morally in the eyes of a man. Saying that, then leaving her with that, may or may not change a thing in her character. But a man who is moral, and Alpha, may decide to take it upon himself to give her a chance to get it right with the next guy.
Please don't waste our time with posts about "oh that would NEVER work!!" Pain works. Shaming works. Not always, but many, many times it alters behavior. And a moral human doesn't not shirk from certain duties merely because the probabilities of success are not in their favor. He does it or says it because it's what he knows should be done or said, regardless of the outcome. Non-reaction-seeking is an Alpha trait. Being virtuous (the actual Greek root of 'virtue' implied activity, an action, not a passive state of being) is taking action, doing, damn what the rest of them think. Damn how the whore reacts, you're gonna tell her she's disgusting whore. 'Cause for one man, it might be the right thing to do.
This is such an epic failure to understand subtext, that I'm starting to see the problem.
The blogs I read seem to be absolutely flooded with aspies lately, missing all subtlety and subtext and insisting on literal nitpicking of every word.
The aspies and Churchians desperately want to make this guy out to be some sort of evil genius for toying with this bitch.
"Murder your family"
Elliot Rodger, is that you?!
If I were ever to be cheated on, my responses would be detached mockery with a big side of disgust. Until the bitch's soul is so crushed she cannot bear to think of my name lest she recoil from her own brain.
I would take pleasure in it. I'd make myself a strong contender for AWCA.
Well... that is unless she asked for forgiveness, with convincing sincerity. Then I would stop with the mockery and just tell her "I forgive you".
Then walk away and she total radio silence for the rest of my life.
Cheated on? Hell, early in our relationship, my wife left half a steak on the table in a take-home box at Outback's Steakhouse and I recently (probably in eight or nine years) finally let that issue go. :-)
So, your girlfriend cheats on you and you dump her. Now what? Gotta get another girlfriend. Maybe you were a little too comfortable (like Vashine said way up top "if he had been treating her like this the entire relationship, she likely would not have ever cheated.")
So, maybe he's a bit rusty on his Game and needs to tune it up a bit. What better punching hag, er, bag, than the chick who cheated on him? He's getting a groove going. He's practicing.
Why did she spend so much conversation time on him and vice versa?
But on the other hand, as mentioned in a comment, he did enjoy wasting her time.
LBF: Elliot Rodger, is that you?!
Elliot Rodger: I wish!
Why did she spend so much conversation time on him and vice versa?
She spent so much time on him because if she could have gotten him to fold on this, it would have enabled her to walk all over him for the rest of their relationship. She would have had precedent for getting him to forgive her that she could have used against him until he broke:
"Yeah I did get drunk with my friends when you asked me not to, but you'll forgive me right? I mean, I didn't cheat on you, and you forgave me when I did ~that~ so why wouldn't you forgive me for this thing that's ~so much less serious~?"
As for why he spent so much time on her... for the lulz? To drive home in her mind that him dumping her is her fault?
@! JLT
Feminists have to scream 'RAPE CULTURE!!!' to hide the fact that the rate of rape has been steadily declining for the past 25 years.
@ Feather Blade
Yeah, and if they ever got married she'd be openly cuckolding him. 'But honey, it was only one man this time, and you forgave me for that five-way gangbang, so...' Yeesh.
"I wonder if this dude was crying as he typed those words."
You are a bona fide autist and I'm scarcely joking.
Well, Fogey means an old fa... a man of advanced age. So, considering the sometimes outlandish failures to communicate that can occur with a big generational gap, I'm wondering if perhaps a neurologically normative man CAN look at those words and just not understand them.
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