Sunday, April 6, 2014

The international Gamma



We've been seeing this ad in both the UK and Italy. I didn't find an English version, however, so here is the Italian. The dialogue:

Woman: We're always late and it's always your fault!
Gamma: Your father won't even notice. (whistles)
Woman: (icy glare)
Gamma: (realizes he's gone too far, supplicates) No, darling-
Woman: Forget it!
Gamma: (sends text) Forgive him, he's an idiot.
Both: (she is amused by his self-deprecation and relents, he leans in and laughs in a wheedling and self-deprecatory manner.)

Notice the following Game-related points:
  1. She's a dominant bitch, she's driving.
  2. He attempts to deflect rather than risk conflict by directly addressing her accusation, but only makes matters worse.
  3. She indicates her displeasure by withholding communication.
  4. His initial attempt at supplication is unsuccessful.
  5. He can't bear her displeasure and escalates his supplication.
  6. She finally consents to permit him to return to the familiar comfort of his inferior position.
If your reaction to relationship conflict is similar to this, you are exhibiting Gamma behavior patterns and it is unlikely that you have a secure relationship with the woman in your life.

22 comments:

JDC said...

Welcome back into the flock little lamb. It was close this time, but you will be permitted to return to your crate at the foot of the throne. Future sacrifices will be required of you, but you will never attain that which you seek. So continue groveling and supplicating before your master. Your master is cruel, quick to anger and abounding in steadfast enmity.

cailcorishev said...

Funny, I was watching an old Andrew Dice Clay routine from the 80s last night, and he did a bit about how he'd be driving (of course) and his woman would start nagging him about how he should have turned left, and it sends him into an increasing tirade until he's telling her to shut the F up (but not that nicely).

And all through the bit -- and his whole routine -- the camera keeps cutting to hot chicks in the audience who are just crying laughing, most of them looking like they wish they didn't have dates with them so they could throw themselves at him backstage after the show.

haus frau said...

I know a couple like this. Such men have a strong masochistic streak. On some level they like being berated. I can't make sense of this otherwise.

Oak said...

On some level they like being berated. I can't make sense of this otherwise.

I don't think it's that, for most guys in this position. It's that they are simply not natural alphas and either never had the chance to observe a successful relationship with the man taking a proper leadership role and/or have been told so many times implicitly and explicitly that dominant behavior is evil (for men) that they believe it and are left with supplication as the most obvious alternative to navigate inevitable conflict.

Rek. said...

What would have been some good answers/attitudes to adopt? Silence is my default response.

bearspaw said...

A Ford Fiesta for less than 10,000 euros. Not Bad!

LP 999/Eliza said...

Men are better or best off at driving and most women belong under the foot of the man. Note; most, not referring to NAWALT.

The CronoLink said...

God, I think I'm gonna puke...

Expendable Faceless Minion said...

#1 should be broken up:
1a: Gamma: Your father won't even notice.
1b: Woman: Huh, contemptuous bark laugh with rising chin
1c: Gamma: (whistles gesturing that daddy's crazy)
2: Woman: icy glare

Nevertheless, Vox is dead on here; imagine Sean Connery or Danny Craig, acting this scene out in a James Bond movie. It Just. Doesn't. Work.

Now, try to put Christopher Lee, James Earl Jones or Samuel L. Jackson in the passenger seat. Go on, try. Keep trying... OK, stop before you break a synapse.

Bill Murray? Yes, he would, and look at her with puppy dog eyes and be forgiven. And at daddy's house, they'll discover that Bill forgot to put the ice cream in the cooler, and it's melted all over the back seat. Bill will promise to clean it up later, and he'll run to the corner grocer for more.

And one hour later, the domineering bitch is going to find Bill and the smoking hot checkout girl naked in the old ice cream puddle eating the new ice cream in the afterglow.

The next day, domineering bitch will forgive Bill for infidelity, again, for the third time this year, and April just started. And Bill will still have marshmallow cream on his cheek.

Expendable Faceless Minion said...

In the UK version, the guy is a manipulative domineering bastard ordering a bitch around, to the approval of the alpha bitch.

YouTube video of Brit bastard ordering bitch around

rycamor said...

Rek. said...

What would have been some good answers/attitudes to adopt? Silence is my default response.


Barely better than what gamma boy did. Actually a straightforward apology would be better (not Alpha, but at least not supplicating). Remember one of Vox's best axioms on interpersonal relationships: to women and liberals, silence is interpreted as acquiescence. A more alpha response would be either clever and funny, or a ruthless slapdown. If you are truly the late one and it keeps happening, of course this means you ARE failing. Exert some self-discipline.

jimmy-jimbo said...

"icy glare"

This is a no-win situation. Do you escalate by confrontation? Maybe not when she is driving. De-escalating by bowing to the bitch will only increase her disrepect. Change the situation.

1. Stop with feeding the vampire. Don't confirm her fears. So what about being late? It is just her parents and they don't care about lateness and more about getting there safely.
2. Her attitude ruins the day. Force her to change her behavior. Tell her to get over it. It doesn't matter anymore. We are on the way.
3. She says "Forget It" That's her being in control. She knows nothing can change. It is no use to fix it. She already moved on really.

Actually, the situation is worse than I thought. He is in a pickle from begining to end. She, being the bitch, takes the obvious route to support her behavior.

Monica said...

Uhm....when I'm in my car I drive and when we're in my husbands car he drives. Am I emasculating my husband in some way by driving with him in the car?

cailcorishev said...

Am I emasculating my husband in some way by driving with him in the car?

Yes.

Monica said...

Hmm. To emasculate him....does he have to feel like I've emasculated him or is it so just because others have perceived that since I'm driving he's not "the man"? I ask because he doesn't complain and this is not a man who holds back what he's thinking or feeling. I thought I was doing a good thing by not making him be the person that drives all the time.

cailcorishev said...

Monica, it partly depends on him. If he actually doesn't like driving, that's his business. I don't think it's a huge thing, but I do think it matters. A strong alpha doesn't suddenly become a gamma because his wife drives; it's just one of the many little things that contributes one direction or the other. It's not going to ruin an otherwise good relationship, but in a rocky one it'll be one more thing that chips away at his dominance.

As far as why: I think it's because the driver is "leading" the passengers, determining where they go. That's true even if the passenger is navigating; ultimately the driver decides whether to turn or not. So think of it as if you were going for a walk with him: is it better for him to lead the way with you on his arm or vice versa? Ditto dancing.

Lucas said...

Am I emasculating my husband in some way by driving with him in the car?

Yes. You.Are.Driving.Not.Him.

Hmm. To emasculate him....does he have to feel like I've emasculated him or is it so just because others have perceived that since I'm driving he's not "the man"?


He feels emasculated but won't change the status quo due to your reaction (or perceived reaction).

I ask because he doesn't complain and this is not a man who holds back what he's thinking or feeling.

Are you sure?
I thought I was doing a good thing by not making him be the person that drives all the time.

You are not.

One of the first things my submissive fiancé said was that "When YOU drive us around, can I wear this or that inside the car?" Note: it's her car and I had neevr mentioned or talked with her about this.

Women know when they are steping on men's genitals. They know and masculine women love it.

Monica said...

cailcorishev - thanks for the feedback. I don't think my husband is an alpha out in the world when comparing him to other men, but in my world he is .....if that makes sense. I'm not aware that my driving impacts him but I could be wrong. I'll do an experiment and turn the keys over to him every time we go somewhere and see what happens.

jimmy-jimbo said...

One thing a woman should not do is "be considerate" in the worst way possible. You might think driving will relieve the burden of a man, but that's like suggesting a man can be less of a man since it is easier. I might tell a woman to not bother with makeup since she is the one complaining about applying it, but you never tell a woman to not do something that she obviously will continue to do.

Try telling a man to not go to work. She'll work and support the family. This will not go well.

A man might not always want to drive, but if she drives, it will be an obligation on her and she might resent it. One thing I've noticed is that when a woman offers to do something, it doesn't mean she really wants to do it. She is being considerate by doing something she hates. Can't we just do what we want?

"I thought I was doing a good thing by not making him be the person that drives all the time."

Perhaps if you drive ONE time, it is one less time he is driving, thus he doesn't drive all the time. Do this when he is tired so you're giving him a break when he really needs it.

Anton Chigurh said...

...yeah, I drive. Always.
It has never even occurred to my wife, ever, to drive. She hands me the keys automatically.
AH, the emasculated Western man-child...I pity thee.

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