I asked a boy the other day if he had noticed anything in particular about what characteristic separated the boys that the girls liked from the boys that they didn't. He thought about it for a few moments, and then answered: "Flashy. They like the flashy boys."
It was an observant answer. But more important, his answer was reflective rather than bitter. Such young men are the teachable ones.
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Girls like to be flashed.
Yes, and that he did so through observation was key. Too many young males like I used to be listen to what girls say then come up with nonsensical excuses.
Too many young males like I used to be listen to what girls say
Like what is most important to a woman is a man's sense of humor...or the fact that he really understands her...or that he is able to be open about his feelings...or that he is emotionally present. Because status, looks, height and bank account don't matter at all.
I've thought a lot about why I and so many of my peers didn't "get it" when we were young, though all the evidence was there. We certainly recognized that girls like "flashy" guys, or "bad boys." But there are two ways to react to that information (assuming you want a girl): work on being "flashy" yourself, so as to attract them; or insist that NAWALT and dedicate yourself to finding that special snowflake who will appreciate your non-flashy self. Too many of us took the latter route.
After you've repeated the process several times of finding a snowflake, thinking she's different, and then getting dumped for not being flashy, that's when the bitterness sets in. But really, we had ourselves to blame. Yeah, girls lied and told us they just wanted a nice guy, but we should have seen that their words didn't match their actions and judged their words accordingly. Yeah, everyone told us to "be yourself," but why did that have to translate into "be your most boring, inoffensive, supplicating self"?
Teach them what? How to please women like a trained seal, or how to be his own man and base his self-worth on something more meaningful?
>Yeah, everyone told us to "be yourself," but why did that have to translate into "be your most boring, inoffensive, supplicating self"?
I've explained this before. Why do you keep asking when we already know?
I'm really glad this blog introduced me to the concept of solipsism. It really helps put things in perspective and serves as a good interpreter.
When you grasp that most men are invisible as options to most women, you realize that her comments are exclusive to the men who are visible.
Therefore she says this: all I want is for a man to treat me well.
It is interpreted as this: all I want is for [the alpha bastards I have sex with] to [start] treat[ing] me well.
Make sense. When a man says he wants more sex, he gerally means more sex with attractive women. Women likewise want more of what they want it from alphas.
This post about observing and reflecting rather than listening and reacting is key.
The assholes prevail. It's good for boys to understand this sooner rather than later.
Women like anyone else respond to what they perceive to be in their own best interest.
Alpha chasing and beta rejecting used to have consequences. Now women can chase alphas while using force to extract support from betas. The consequences of this, as well as the rewards of chosing betas, are not as apparent.
My grandmother is 92 and never went to college, but understands men and women better than most college educated women today. My grandfather was a beta provider and they built a life and future. She once told my sister that wives should let the husbands handle they heavy lifting and that wives should tend to the more delicate matters of the household. When my sister acted nonplussed, grandma said "it causes wives to lose attraction to their men."
Grandma observed reality rather than listening to fantasy. To her, losing attraction to her nice dependable husband wasn't worth the benefits of emasculating him.
Kids are kids. There is a reason we don't let them run the world. They have no wisdom, no experience, and most have limited natural intellectual ability. These can be learned, but to find one gifted these traits is rare. I believe that there needs to be a red pill moment in a lot of boys lives that lifts the vale, or gives them a look behind the curtain, or even shows them that there is such a thing as "behind the curtain." We can't teach 3 year olds algebra, but we can encourage analytical thinking until our sons "get it."
It is also ok to be bitter against a person who has been actively feeding you lies and untruths, and to be bitter against those that enable and even encourage that behavior. But no one can live a good life while being bitter all the time. You must move on and grow. We end up pitying those same women who cannot see the problem, but that does not change the fact that what they are doing is intellectually dishonest, and perhaps a bit overly-simple, but what they are doing is wrong. Lamenting the loss of "good men" and at the same time dumping good men for exciting dirtbags is wrong. It is dishonest and calls your integrity into question. It is difficult to consciously agree to share your life (treasure, protection, labor), with a woman who has known integrity issues - you are buying life-long trouble at an outrageous price. When you see your own wife doing these things (shat tests) on a daily basis - even if it is on a micro scale - it is hard to not be slightly bitter.
Fogey is right but the concept is wrong.
Every Christian husband is in part a "beta provider". Being an asshole might get you lots of pussy. But being an asshole and getting tons of pussy a la Heartiste are both antithetical to Christianity. So if alpha=asshole who snags tons of pelt, no Christian is alpha. A Christian might at best approximate alpha, having a form of alphaness but denying its power, basically yearning after fornication or adultery but not following through. Game is useful and true in most of its constituent elements but can't form a coherent whole for a Christian. It's a corrupt lens to see the world through. Francis of Assisi went from being a game alpha with money to going celibate, founding an order called the little brothers, eating garbage, befriending leperous rejects and wearing old rags as clothes and that's how he became a saint, which is pretty much the Christian "apex alpha."
All husbands are (if they're good husbands) in part beta providers. Having enough alpha to attract his wife, which is the only woman he need concern himself with, is not antithetical to Christianity. Having enough alpha to attract a woman to be his wife is also not antithetical to Christianity.
St Francis is one who swung the pendulum from one extreme to the other. Maintaining the golden mean, balancing the alpha and beta, gives a happy life and a happy wife.
Children are more perceptive before the society and the education system kills their curiosity and independence of mind...
What is the point of being a Christian if all it gets is a loveless marriage devoid of any sexual attraction by the Wife and an inevitable divorce?
I don't see much on offer from Christianity, in the here and now. It seems to be basically a support system for fabulous women and their Alpha A-holes. Jenny Ericsson is Exhibit A (go check Dalrock's blog) for men to avoid Christianity and if they want a happy marriage, Alpha up and create that uber-asshole women crave; with limited but existing moments of vulnerability. In unpredictable doses.
Love from a woman depends on desire. Absent desire, there is no and can be no love. Desire in turn depends on a man being an unpredictable, other-women-want-him, Alpha A hole.
So if alpha=asshole who snags tons of pelt, no Christian is alpha.
Fortunately, that's not what it means.
I just wish there was something inbetween.
Everywhere I look I see the majority of blokes that easy get the women are either drugged up convicts or One Direction wannabes.
Being a "jerk" is one thing, but I really don't want to be a complete twat, or a stupid lil boy who's just following all the stupid lil boy popstars that the lasses (even older ones) seem to be swooning over.
Today in the shop, lad who must have been in his 20s, done up to look baby faced, stupid fucking daft hair (shaved on sides, overly long on top to look like One D), running around squeeling and skating on his feet across the shop floor, till he crashed into something and fell over. All the girls with him thought he was fantastic. Pussy or no, I'd rather not still act like a child in my 20s.
"Maintaining the golden mean, balancing the alpha and beta..."
Yes, this is key. No one is arguing for being a complete twat. Rather, it's the appropriate degree of assholery that one can muster and put into effect that counts.
That's what it means in the game universe. The alpha/beta dichotomy is a construct that only exists to explain the SMP.
Alpha/beta is rellevant beyond the SMP. Other men trip over themselves to acquiesce to alphas in situations that don't involve sex.
That's a different use of "alpha." Usually people talk about it like its an ingredient in your character. Mix in some alpha, some beta, get the right mix, and doors will open. As descriptors of social ranking, alpha and beta are somewhat useful, but that's not the way they are used in game. In game: alpha fux, beta bux.
The game My Word Coach has been released not only for the Nintendo DS, which is a handheld device but also for the Wii. The idea behind the game is pretty straightforward. Kids learn a variety of new words as well as how to spell each. The reason this game is also fun is because it uses a number of interactive activities such as spray painting in whatever letters appear to be missing and also choosing the correct definitions to go with each word. The great thing about this game is that kids seem to really enjoy it while they are learning at the same time. This makes My Word Coach a winner in the eyes of parents and kids everywhere.
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Christian men are completely and utterly allowed to be Alpha. The idea that one must be a beta provider, rather than an Alpha provider, or Alpha at home, as leader of the household, is a misrepresentation of the inherent masculinity and power within the Christian faith and the Christian man. Christian men are to be like Christ, unapologetic warriors, willing to take it straight to hypocrites, call people out for their bullshit, including their wives, and LEAD to Truth. Period.
And yes, while being a big enough man, with a big enough heart of flesh, to forgive, correct, offer strong, stern goldly advice, even offer a helping hand, and soldier on. There are rules for divorce. Adultery being one of them. Even Christ said divorce was acceptable in cases where adultery was committed.
The real point is this: Christian men should be Alpha with their women before even marrying them. It should be communicated early on, within the first date or two, that certain rules will be followed, certain values respected, or no relationship, no marriage. To be honest, as a Christian man surveying the horrendous dating scene both outside and inside the Church in countries all over the world, usually all is lost within the first few weeks of dating. Both parties, the man and woman, temp each, succumb to that temptation, idolize each other, become wrapped up in romantic bullshit, and if they get married, it's already doomed because the man has NOT acted like a man, a true man of Christ who makes it readily apparent that his loyalties lie with Christ and God's Law, not with pussy... and the women, who have a natural dispensation to temp the man (Eve) into sin in order to lock that man down. They fail to reign in their own sinful desires from the very start, both parties become passive, too fearful to say "no" early on, to practice resistance and patience (which actually make romance all the more exciting, not less), and make all the same mistakes as non-Christians do.
Christian men become betas with their women well before they ever get married. Well before. Their relinquish their power, which is holiness and loyalty and Faith in Christ, for pussy. Or worse, for a twisted version of Christianity called 'niceness'. Ugh, disgusting. And it's so foul it's destroying our civilization.
Yes, part of the problem is that all the hottie girls do not attend church. But that's partly because the feminized church rarely if ever PREACHES abstinence directly, because their pews are filled with Jesus-loving, co-habitating 'couples' clearly boinking... but who just loooooove Christ. So the men never get fed with the Word, so they go out and are weak, and beautiful women want NOTHING to do with them cause they want some hard, aggressive, pump and dump dick.
What they REALLY want is a hard, aggressive, "woman up, close your legs until we're married or get the fuck out of my face" man who will clearly provide and be faithful if she will actually stop slutting around and grow up.
But that's a civilizational trend that will take generations to turn around. Getting hot women back in the pews and getting the not-so-attractive ones to get more attractive will take time. But what potentially Alpha male Christian men are willing to bite the bullet and take the ugly church girls to bed, or the over-the-hill, High N, hitting-the-wall cute ones into the marriage bed only to be #24 in her N-count, or worse?
Whom do we love more? Christ, our neighbors and the survival of our great civilization, or ourselves and our egos?
If you want to begin learning about the true masculine Faith, start with John Eldredge's books "Way of the Wild Heart" and "Way of the Wild Heart". Read GK Chesterton to see and hear what truly, manly, cultured and flesh-and-blood Christian faith is, in all its splendor and pontential violence. Read the Bible, shit. That thing is full of stories of godly and righteous warriors, including Christ who whipped the shit out of some people for sullying the temple
Our God, our Messiah, is not, was not, and never will be a pacifist, nor passive, nor beta. Period. That version of Christianity is from the Pit. It is from flower-power liberal marxists, from materialistic, fornicating, humanistic Baby Boomers, even the "good" ones, who have turned their backs on the faith and sullied His name.
Do you know what kind of "not give a fuck" attitude it takes to become St. Francis of Assisi? You think he became "beta"? Are you kidding me? You think NOT having money equals "beta"? And yet the entire point of game is to tell guys they don't NEED the money or even really the appearance of it, they just need to show they don't give a fuck, they have balls, and they don't think twice to break the rules. That is alpha.
Dude, you know how many hippie, bohemian chicks cream at the notion of a man giving up all his wealth and status to search for God, to be on a great spiritual quest, journey, to be determined to learn and change, the way St. Francis did? Guaranteed when he dropped that epic story on chicks, many were after him like never before. With a following like that you don't think there were women looking on who said "He could have me. I'd be his wife in the drop of a hat." I know 'cause I've seen it work for me. Women DIG that spiritual warrior shit, saying 'no' to all the bullshit the world is offering (yes, even the sex and all the sin), all that bullshit girls are offering (hello obvious disqualification), etc, etc. Whether a man turns it into a win with a girl or not, it works. For many types of girls. Especially in this god-awful boring "go to school, get a job, try and look hip and interesting like everyone else, kinda date and have sex with a few people, blah, blah, blah" bullshit.
They want more. Their souls want more. And a guy who says "I'm going to fucking get more with God, more from life, give more to others, hop on this train or get the fuck out of the way" makes lots of women go crazy. Even if they're not Christian girls. And better yet, it makes the really bad ones run for the door. I've seen it. I've had some girls, all sweet and nice for a date or two, literally get up and leave when I've dropped the 'no sex until I'm married." One girl got visibly angry. She scorned me worse than she scorns the guys who pump and dump her. And it's a enormous blessing. That is how EVIL works. Evil is real, deep, and powerful in many of these girls. And they have no clue. The darkness cannot understand the Light. It flees from the Light. The really messed up ones, the really, really messed up ones, (high 'n' count, rape experiences, self-esteem directly linked to a man wanting her body, "accepting" and using that body for sex) will out themselves quickly or do you a favor and turn tail themselves and run into the world looking to fill themselves with anything and everything but God and His goodness. They'll find what they're looking for. Easy. And they go deeper into the Pit. And you'll avoid a disaster of a woman.
Well said Vashine. Funny, there seems to be a lot of Catholic guys on here (GK Chesterton gives it away). I just got married a couple month ago and I think it is true, one has to be really stern with his wife. If you're not a strong, dominant male, who doesn't put up with crap from his wife, you're actually not being virtuous, you're committing a sin. The Husband is the head of the family, I mean even scripture says it; Wives be submissive to your husbands. It doesn't say, husbands be submissive to your wives, it says love your wife. Sometimes loving your wife means putting her in her place, even if it ticks her off. I have only been married a few months, and sometimes I notice my wife giving smart-ass comments to me and I put her in her place. Seems to work out better than saying nothing.
Anyway, God bless all the Catholic guys on here, Vashines response is blog post article worthy, it's that good. I was in seminary for a little while, and I think what you say is true.
There are a lot of mediocre Catholic girls who are looking for good husbands who would make very good wives, but they do nothing and I mean nothing to try and look good, and most of the girls I went to College with (a small traditional, private Catholic college) are still unmarried. Why? Because they don't put on makeup. They don't wear nice clothes or jewelry and they look like they came out of "Little House on the Prairie." They is nothing wrong with wanting to dress modestly, in fact, I prefer it. I like the slutty look, but only in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom it is just distracting.
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