Sunday, January 5, 2014

Why children need fathers

The feminists discovered that fish actually did need bicycles after all. And as the hordes of fatherless bastards leave women dismayed in their totally predictable failure to grow up into responsible, productive men, they're gradually learning that kids need men too:
Encouraging risk: In their approach to childrearing, fathers are more likely to encourage their children to take risks, embrace challenges, and be independent, whereas mothers are more likely to focus on their children's safety and emotional well-being. "[F]athers play a particularly important role in the development of children's openness to the world," writes psychologist Daniel Paquette. "[T]hey also tend to encourage children to take risks, while at the same time ensuring the latter's safety and security, thus permitting children to learn to be braver in unfamiliar situations, as well as to stand up for themselves." In his review of scholarly research on fatherhood, he notes that scholars generally find that dads are more likely to have their children talk to strangers, to overcome obstacles, and even to have their toddlers put out into the deep during swim lessons. The swim-lesson study, for instance, which focused on a small sample of parents teaching their kids to swim, found that "fathers tend to stand behind their children so the children face their social environment, whereas mothers tend to position themselves in front of their children, seeking to establish visual contact with the children."

Protecting his own: Fathers play an important role in protecting their children from threats in the larger environment. For instance, fathers who are engaged in their children's lives can better monitor their children's comings and goings, as well as the peers and adults in their children's lives, compared to disengaged or absent fathers. Of course, mothers can do this, to an extent. But fathers, by dint of their size, strength, or aggressive public presence, appear to be more successful in keeping predators and bad peer influences away from their sons and daughters. As psychologist Rob Palkovitz notes in our book, "paternal absence has been cited by multiple scholars as the single greatest risk factor in teen pregnancy for girls."

Dad's discipline: Although mothers typically discipline their children more often than do fathers, dads' disciplinary style is distinctive. In surveying the research on gender and parenthood for our book, Palkovitz observes that fathers tend to be firmer with their children, compared to mothers. Based on their extensive clinical experience, and a longitudinal study of 17 stay-at-home fathers, Kyle Pruett and psychologist Marsha Kline Pruett agree. In Partnership Parenting they write, "Fathers tend to be more willing than mothers to confront their children and enforce discipline, leaving their children with the impression that they in fact have more authority." By contrast, mothers are more likely to reason with their children, to be flexible in disciplinary situations, and to rely on their emotional ties to a child to encourage her to behave.
I saw the difference between male and female parental roles time and time again in a toddler gymnastics class. I was the only father there, and unsurprisingly, my child was the only one who didn't have anyone holding his hand as he crossed the balance beam or as leaped down onto the big padded map. A few days later, my child was practically running across the beam and leaping headlong from the platform. Most of the other kids, half of whom were older, were still edging fearfully across the beam, tightly clutching Mommy's hand.

Sure, you still want Mommy there to kiss the boo-boos when it all goes wrong, but children need Daddy to teach them the difference between acceptable and unacceptable risks.

21 comments:

Krul said...

"paternal absence has been cited by multiple scholars as the single greatest risk factor in teen pregnancy for girls."

Is that a shotgun I hear?

GG said...

The need for fathers is huge, not just impacting the health and well being of children, but also the entire community and even the future of the community. You could write volumes documenting the significance and importance of fathers in the world and you still wouldn't be able to list it all. Fathers impact the world on so many levels, psychological, financial, social, creativity-wise. Fathers are so significant, even in their absence they have a presence, an impact.

Lately I've really been noticing the importance of fathers when it comes to Christianity. Your earthly father is your first example of what a father is all about and will eventually lead you to your heavenly Father. When there's a fractured relationship with earthly fathers, we get all these people who resist God, who try to redefine Him, who get into goddess worship.

hoellenhund2 said...

Does this article count as part of the Man Up Campaign?

cb6f3d30-2f6b-11e3-9035-000bcdca4d7a said...

Spot on. When I was a kid, if I wanted permission to do something, I'd ask my dad. If I wanted permission to not do something, I'd ask my mom.

Trust said...

@hoellenhund2

Feminists only preach fatherhood when they perceive it to be in women's best interest, but they still line up all the incentives against men "manning up."

Women only sleep with bastards and concieve. Men need to man up.

Good husband gets cheated on and ass raped by wife. Men need to man up.

Women should practice what they preach and pick beter men. Dat's sexist.

Retrenched said...

@ Hoellenhund, Trust

In girl-world, what directly benefits women necessarily is presumed to benefit men, so what we’ll see is a new wave of female bloggers bastardizing the world-worn ideas that the manosphere has put together and repackaging it in a female context. It’s Man Up 2.0; make a token push to “re-empower” men just enough for them to idealize the romanticism of the responsibilities required for living up to women’s expectations. ...

We are acculturated into a world where the ‘common sense’ is to presume that social dynamics should ALWAYS default to a feminine imperative. In essences everyone, male or female, should agree with any social dynamic that benefits the feminine. Without even an afterthought you are cast into what would benefit a feminine frame and a female ideal. To the feminine mind (of both women and feminized men) this is just the way the world is.

Men are simply facilitators for a feminine reality.


-- Rollo Tomassi

Brad Andrews said...

I guess this would also indicate how bad it is for Heather to have two mommies....

Conscientia Republicae said...

In other news, the earth rotates around the sun every 365 days.

Film at 11.

Markku said...

Oh, what to do? Oh, what to do?

I KNOW! Man up and marry the sluts.

Conscientia Republicae said...

The title of the article should be amended to read "children need their own fathers."

BadgerHut said...

In a debate about family law and custody with an acquaintance, she said "doesn't it seem pretty obvious that children should be with their mothers?" I replied "absolutely not - all of our highest-crime communities and least-productive individuals in society have as their common thread matriarchal fatherless households."

It's pretty obvious to me that _paternal_ custody should be the norm instead - but even if they logically agree with the data and facts, women always want the presumption of the "Tender Years Doctrine," so as to use the children as a proxy to gain perpetual access to the man's income and indeed control over his very being.

Brad Andrews said...

That could be Markku, but it also could apply to the "don't frivorce your husband" point. It may not help much in today's climate, but it is another point of truth toward that end.

What would be acceptable points about the value of fathers that could not be misused to say your point?

mickeypavic said...

Lifted from the MGTOW forum.

Originally Posted by Octavian
"One of the problems with women raising kids alone, is that the boys pass up their mother on the evolutionary scale long before maturity.

The irony of women raising kids, is that they're unable to impart the very concepts a man needs to understand so as to contribute to society.Children are literally being raised by other children,and we wonder why society is in the state it is."

Weouro said...

It's pretty obvious to me that _paternal_ custody should be the norm instead

And that is the most basic definition of PATRIarchy.

Markku said...

What would be acceptable points about the value of fathers that could not be misused to say your point?

Probably few to none, and I'm not blaming the study itself for anything.

LibertyPortraits said...

Sucks that I'm an outlier to this data, my father was a tough old devil dog and I never became a brave risk-taking champion of individualism.

Matt said...

And yet here you are, LibertyPortraits. You are at least aware of all this, and that puts you ahead of the civilizational curve.

Ian Ironwood said...

This isn't an invitation to Man Up. This is an invitation to Patriarchy 2.0.

My Red Pill approach to fathering (distinct in form and fashion from both parenting and mothering) is very different than my old Blue Pill approach. I used to put my children's feelings foremost. Now I don't care if they hate me or not (they don't . . . usually) as long as they are compliant. In order to reap the benefits of good fathering, you must be at liberty to actually father, and that means being the force of order, regulation, and stability in the family whether it's a fun time or not. I can understand how some dads are scared to assert themselves due to the possibility of legal or social repercussions, up to and including divorce. But as a Red Pill Dad my ultimate goal is the production of high quality human beings and I'm not going to let potential liability distract me from this subtle but robust art.

Many dads fear repercussions from the kid's mom, particularly if they are not married or in a relationship with her. Again, that's understandable. But it doesn't excuse a half-assed effort. The good divorced dads I know are constantly involved in their kid's lives, to the point of frequent contact and occasional conflict with the mother. It's an exercise fraught with tension and can be exhausting, but the price of failure is incalculable.

Like being dominant in your relationship, you just gotta do it. Be the Dad they need you to be and quit worrying about whether or not they like you. Or whether or not your parenting style meshes seamlessly with their mother's. Realize that what is far more important is whether your kid will be breaking into his career or breaking into a neighbor's window when he's 21. And it's your job to keep the latter from happening.

Conscientia Republicae said...

Ian is right. Doing the right thing, no matter the cost.

paul a'barge said...

Someone lets those feminist mothers baby their little boys, and it's not Alpha husbands.

Trust said...

@ paul a'barge said... Someone lets those feminist mothers baby their little boys, and it's not Alpha husbands.
__________

It's a mathematical impossibility for a majority of women to have alpha husbands without polygamy. Expecting husbands to be more alpha just can't work in the current legal climate, and it is downright illegal for beta husbands to try to act like an alpha.

Of course, today American women have as close to a hypergamous utopia as has ever existed, where they can extract beta bux while enjoying alpha fux. Yet they just keep getting angrier.

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