Recently a guy, around my age, came up to me when I was waiting in line at a burger joint in town. He had read my stay at home mom post and wanted to express agreement with the sentiments I articulated.If you let a dog think he's the boss, he will cease to defer to you and begin objecting, violently, when you interfere with what he now believes are his prerogatives. Women are no different.
Instead he expressed agreement with sentiments I definitely did not articulate: “My wife stays at home. And, yeah, she sounds like your wife; she’s definitely the boss.”
No, dude, my wife is not my boss. I love her. She’s an incredibly strong woman. But she’s not my boss. Most importantly, she wouldn’t WANT to be my boss. She wanted to marry a man, not a henpecked hireling. I gave my life to her. We fused our souls together in the sacred act of matrimony. I’d take a bullet for my bride. I’d die to protect her. I give everything I have and everything I am to her. Everything I do right, I do for her, and my children, and God before all.
But she isn’t my boss. She doesn’t dictate to me. I’m not a cow, and she’s not a cattle driver. She counts on me to lead the family, and I hope to never fail in that duty. If I go around belittling myself and degrading my spouse by pathetically stammering about how she bosses me around all day, I have failed. I’ve failed as a man and a leader.
It's one thing to turn over your social calendar to your wife due to a lack of interest in the various social obligations of the family. But checking in to see if there is scheduling conflict, or simply being courteous enough to see if your wife minds if you go to the football game does not make you an employee or a child. Therefore, it does not make her the boss. And what might have been an ironic jest in the days of Mad Men is often taken quite literally now.
Belittling yourself isn't funny. And your wife isn't smiling.