- Never hesitate to admit when you are wrong and apologize as soon as you realize that to be the case.
- Never admit you are wrong when you believe that you are not. Stand your ground in the face of her tears and hold firm in the face of her anger. Never appease in the interest of short-term peace.
- Learn to let things go. In every conflict, there is a point at which there is a choice between conflict and conversation. When you choose conflict, let your choice be a conscious one and not a reaction.
- Encourage her when she decides to let things go rather than argue. Don't take any passive-aggressive shots, don't make any little comments or provide any ex post facto reminders. If she is willing to let it go, you should be willing to do the same.
- Don't expect her to hold herself to the same standards she holds you. Accept her failure to do so as a compliment to your sex and do your best to provide her with an example to follow.
- Don't let her get away with being dishonest. If her story changes, call her on it.
- The sexual norms for your marriage are set in the first six months. Keep that in mind and behave accordingly.
- Don't be surprised if there is more relationship conflict than before you were married. The relationship dynamic and the daily patterns of life have changed and they are as new and unfamiliar to her as they are to you.
- Both of you will have unconscious expectations of marriage that are unrealistic. Learn to let them go as they surface.
- Remember that you are a team. If necessary, remind her that you are a team.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Words of advice to a man on his wedding day
Congratulations and best wishes to Morpheus and his new bride. As a long-time married man, I thought a few words of advice might not be amiss: