Wednesday, November 20, 2013

He violated the Three Rules

One guess how this guy ranks on the socio-sexual hierarchy:
For the last couple weeks I’ve been accused of a lot of very serious things. I feel I have to speak up for myself and for my friends and colleagues who are finding themselves under a sort of scrutiny they don’t deserve. This situation has reached the point where it is affecting people who in no way deserve it, up to and including my family.

Tess Fowler is correct about this: I did make a pass at her at [the San Diego Comic-Con] Hyatt bar roughly 8 years ago. But when she declined, that was the conclusion of the matter for me. There was never a promise of quid pro quo, no exertion of power, no threats, and no revenge. This was at a time in my career when I had very little professional power or industry recognition. The pickup was a lame move, absolutely, and I’ll accept the heat for having done it, but that’s all it was: I liked her, I took a chance, and was shot down. I immediately regretted it, and I apologize to Ms. Fowler for the tackiness and embarrassment of it all.

I’ve kept quiet for these last couple weeks because this is a problematic thing to address without unintended blowback. While I believe she is as incorrect as she can be about what my intent and motivations were, I don’t want to encourage any negative opinion directed back at her.

I think the larger issues of abuse in the comics industry are genuine and I share everyone’s concerns. As a father to a young daughter showing an interest in making her own comics, I do really care about this stuff. So I don’t want our difference of accounts to take attention away from that industry-wide discussion that needs to happen.
So, what were the three rules of sexual harassment that he violated?

1. Be Handsome
2. Be Attractive
3. Don't Be Unattractive

The sad thing is that it is clear the man has learned nothing from his experience. He's being slammed as a creep for a single failed pass eight years ago. But instead of opening his eyes and realizing that his prolonged abasement before the collective pedestal has brought him nothing but shame, rejection, and ridicule, he thinks that further abasing himself and pretending that "the larger issues of abuse in the comics industry" are real will somehow make women finally look on him with approval.

But they won't. It simply doesn't work like that.

43 comments:

cailcorishev said...

Maybe if he literally castrates himself and posts a video of himself putting his own balls through a meat grinder, they'll let him off the hook for this grievous offense.

everybodyhatesscott said...

What would the correct response be? The silver lining about things like this is if it happened to another writer Brian would have jumped on the White Knight brigade scolding the other guy.

Duke of Earl said...

Something along the lines of, "after eight years she's still thinking about me? I'm flattered. I hadn't thought about her at all."

DmL said...

He should have apologized for being insufficiently attractive 8 years ago.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

He shouldn't have apologized. He should have just told her that she should be grateful he didn't slip his dick down her throat and charged her for it.

Bob Wallace said...

It is overwhelmingly the unattractive women who claim sexual harassment. This woman is not particularly attractive.

I was accused of sexual harassment by a landwhale and by a spinster. It existed only in their heads.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

I was accused of sexual harassment by a landwhale and by a spinster. It existed only in their heads.

Did you ever rhetorically ask them why they were a landwhale and a spinster, respectively?

Harry T. Conan said...

Is there a link missing from this post? Was this Michael Shermer? He's been put through the grinder recently and all but found guilty by a number of liberal bloggers.

cailcorishev said...

My first thought on reading a story like this is, "When is some guy just going to laugh in their faces?" Then I realized: some guys do laugh in their faces, but we never hear about them, because the accusers move on to more willing targets like this guy.

paul a'barge said...

Please don't post this stuff without ample links. It just frustrates the monkeys.

paul a'barge said...

Here is your link-a-dink. The guy's name is Brian Wood:
http://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2013/11/15/tess-fowler-brian-wood-and-harassment-in-the-comic-industry/

Y'all do some searching on Images.Google.com for "Tess Fowler cartoonist" or "Tess Fowler comic". Unbelievable. the guy hit on that and 8 years later, she's complaining? She should be making him sandwiches and ironing his shirts.

paul a'barge said...

How lame is Blogspot. Links don't link? Try clicking this.

8to12 said...

The correct response is to not apologize. He is just digging a deeper hole by apologizing. Instead he needs to stand up for himself and go on the offensive.

"She's an attractive woman; I made a pass at her; she turned me down; end of story. So what? Millions of men make passes at millions of women everyday. It's the way the world has worked for centuries. Unless she wants to tell the world that she has never been hit on by a man she needs to drop the drama act and handle this like an adult woman."

fc6cedc2-d6a8-11e2-b860-000bcdcb471e said...

What would the correct response be?

Well she translated his denial as a miscommunication/learning experience so we know what really happened is he feigned interest in her art in order to have a conversation with her and she added the quid pro quo so she could one up the other feminists

I think ellipse game might work in this situation. Quote her rant and then go "..." I personally would file a slander and libel lawsuit against her, and post the complaint. Don't think I would want to deal with the firestorm of something along the lines of "bitches be crazy" but I would rather go that route than what he posted. And in no circumstances would I have admitted it is a systemic problem.

The problem with the comic book industry is that its 99.9% gammas and deltas. I feel sorry for them. The second comic book movies went mainstream, a few feminist warpigs realized there was a whole area for them to lord over where they wouldn't have to face any competition. Its been like watching a kid smash an ant hill.

Bob Wallace said...

"Did you ever rhetorically ask them why they were a landwhale and a spinster, respectively?"

One was a landwhale and one was a spinster. She and the other spinsters would get together and talk about the rich men they were dating. That, too, was only in their heads.

papabear said...

http://elitedaily.com/humor/video-perfectly-describes-women-consider-creepy-bar/

sunshinemaryandthedragon said...

I think the larger issues of abuse in the comics industry are genuine and I share everyone’s concerns.

Abuse in the comic book industry? bwahahahaha

These are comic books. Seriously, how abusive could the situation be? Comic. books. It's like taking Sheryl Sandberg seriously because she's the muckity muck of a website that lets ladies post pictures of their food and inform everyone that they have arrived at the dentist's office.

And even at comic books, women apparently suck. The correct response is to laugh at us and then ignore us completely.

Bob said...

Relevant: http://www.the-gutters.com/comic/451-mike-decarlo/

cailcorishev said...

What would the correct response be?

It should be clear by now, from many such incidents, that a man has absolutely nothing to gain by capitulating, and likewise nothing to lose by laughing at them and telling them to grow up.

NATHANIEL MANELLA said...

Louis CK demonstrates the ideal way to deal with a woman trying to shut you down by claiming offense. In the show his character is kinda of a sadsack but in real life the guy is pretty funny and works edgy material beautifully because he really commits to it..

paul a'barge said...

Louis CK is a pig.

Jack Amok said...

Y'all do some searching on Images.Google.com for "Tess Fowler cartoonist" or "Tess Fowler comic". Unbelievable. the guy hit on that and 8 years later, she's complaining? She should be making him sandwiches and ironing his shirts.

Make sure you add the "comic" or "cartoonist" to the image search. If you just search for Tess Fowler, you'll discover that there is different (very different looking) woman named Tess Fowler who seems to have trouble keeping her clothes on in front of a camera.

B.J. said...

Had a female coworker who filed sexual harassment against another coworker for hitting on her. I pointed out that all of our conversations were lewd, graphic, sexual discussions and flirting and she never filed a complain against me.

All she could say was "Yeah but that's just different..." because she had a huge crush on me of course.

Doom said...

Yeah, I have women from 20 years ago, and more, remind me that I didn't make a pass, and could have. And that the door is still open. But they are old and ugly now, so no way. I just ask if they have daughters. :p Well, okay, I don't. But only because women can be creepier than men. That's... all I'm saying there.

Jack Amok said...

Oh, and frankly, she draws comic books. Exaggerated boobs stuffed into idiotic costumes. It's an industry devoted to juvenile fantasies. It thrives on men who don't have much real-life interaction with women, and it does it by presenting women as over the top sex objects. Not that I have anything against depicting women as sex objects, just that it's pretty effing astonishing for a women who works in that industry to get her panties in a bunch at being treated - however temporarily and however mistakenly - as a sex object herself.

BTW, if you look at her own art galleries, she appears to like drawing half-nude women tied up and gagged. Again, not that I have anything against that, just that I get the feeling she wouldn't mind some 50 Shades action.

Just not from a gamma creeper. Another example of the solipsism of the female mind. Hang around with people who make a living drawing Catwoman and expect them to act like a bunch of schoolmarms.

Anyway, I have trouble taking anything seriously coming out of the comics industry, and this lunacy certainly doesn't change that.

Laughingdog said...

"BTW, if you look at her own art galleries, she appears to like drawing half-nude women tied up and gagged. Again, not that I have anything against that, just that I get the feeling she wouldn't mind some 50 Shades action"

Or she's a lesbian, which made her even more offended that ANY guy, much less a gamma.

Aquinas Dad said...

This may be the funniest thing I have seen all week. Eight years ago Wood was a part-time artist trying to break into the industry fr real himself - the idea that he would -or could- offer some quid pro quo is like saying your boss threatened your job when he was in high school.While Fowler has a large number of twitter/reddit/whateverthefuck followers she is still barely employed in the field. As usual, this is about raising her own profile, nothing more. And the entire 'oh, I forgave him years ago, it wasn't that big a deal, really' response she gave is in stark contrast to her 'he is an abusive misogynist who preys on women' of a week before.
[Yeah, I know the industry. Heck, I ghost write *dungeons and dragons books*, which is worse]
The issue here is like academia - the politics are so vicious because the stakes are so small. The entire 'oh, men are so sexist in comics/science fiction/fantasy/gaming/RPGs' that is going around is at root about women realizing they can't cut it. The simple fact is that there are very few jobs for comic artists or writers and very, very, very few of them make a real living. Same in science fiction. And fantasy. And game programming. And the dungeons and dragons field.
But there are women who have been told all their lives that they can do, and succeed, at anything they want. Some of them want to be the next King Kirby, or Isaac Asimov, or Tolkein, or Gygax, or whatever. They work *soooo haaaaard* and an't get a break. Or are working but it doesn't pay much. There MUST be something holding them back, right?
Right?
Well, what else holds back women except men? It can't be that dedication and experience are required, and it *certainly* can't be a lack of talent! It must be men. Men who hate women.
Something should be done.
etc.
And these guys aren't the sort to make waves. Fuck, they do what they do to avoid conflict, half the time! That is why a certain roleplaying game company owner (no, not gygax) was able to bully people into not being paid for years - they would do anything to not be yelled at, including working for free.
So some *girl* says they were mean?
Their response is always "OMFG! What did I do?!?!"
Poor Wood. And Poor Fowler. they're just reacting via their programming.

kh123 said...

Name pops up with more images of her than of her artwork.

kh123 said...

"Oh, and frankly, she draws comic books. Exaggerated boobs stuffed into idiotic costumes. It's an industry devoted to juvenile fantasies."

Unfortunately, yup. Genre instead of a medium most times, at least in America.

"And even at comic books, women apparently suck. The correct response is to laugh at us and then ignore us completely. "

In terms of writing, yup.

In terms of art, there are a few decent ones, albeit they tend to come from the archaic trade of animation, presumably a more difficult place to fake work habits.

Natalie said...

The other vicious lie of "you can succeed at anything" is that there are plenty of talented, smart, willing people who just can't get the right breaks. Sometimes they aren't hiring. Sometimes you don't get the scholarship. Some people just flat out put family needs above their desires to tinker in the basement or fly planes or climb mountains. And because a lot of those people are men you only know this because their sons and brothers revere him as a saint and tell stories long after he's gone because men like that don't complain.

kh123 said...

"These are comic books."

Unless illustrated images or Europe aren't your thing, a couple of suggestions - for writing as much as the art:

-Esteban
-Portugal
-Three Shadows (Is an edition in English.)
-Notes For A War Story (Also in English.)

kh123 said...

...-Portugal (Link fixed.)
-Le Marquis D'Anaon

Retrenched said...

Hate to be that guy but this seems to contradict your previous posts on the harassment issue. Back then you said that harassment suits were rare so, what the hell, just go for it if you see a co-worker you find attractive. Now you're basically saying that a guy can get in big trouble if the girl doesn't think he's cute or whatever, so you better watch out unless you're an Adonis or something.

Res Ipsa said...

What would the correct response be?

Eight years ago I got drunk. Really really drunk. I've never been so out of my mind drunk in my life. This women says I hit on her. Maybe I did, I mean I was drunk, so it could have happened. I guess she turned me down. Thank god for that. I'd hate to have the memory of waking up next to her. Can you imagine if it worked out? Man I dodged a bullet that time. After almost banging her, I checked into an AA program and I've successfully avoided the beer goggles ever since.

Black Poison Soul said...

A correct response (there are many) is to laugh and say: "Oh man, she's still harping on about that. After eight years. That is one creepy-minded and socially-awkward chick."

Vox said...

Now you're basically saying that a guy can get in big trouble if the girl doesn't think he's cute or whatever, so you better watch out unless you're an Adonis or something.

Let me give you a hint. Anytime you say I am "basically saying" anything, you are wrong. And you are wrong. Please show where I say anyone had "better watch out".

mmaier2112 said...

As a former big-time comic geek, I'll say she is a poor artist. Her gallery on DeviantArt is shockingly pedestrian.

She looks to have pathetic storytelling talent and next to no expression in her art at all. No wonder she's resorting to pathetic tricks to up her profile.

kh123 said...

"...poor artist... gallery on DeviantArt... shockingly pedestrian."

Somewhat of a given, like the ocean being incredibly wet.

Retrenched said...

Okay, fair enough. Apparently an unreasonable inference on my part.

aaronthejust said...

Eight years later? Us men with game rarely reveal our names and avoid ever disclosing our last names, but I've never really understood why.

I guess this is why.

Patrikbc said...

There is another rule that I always followed...don't show interest, in fact the more attractive she is, the more attention she gets, the less interest you show. Make sure they can see you "not" being interested, be conveniently located where she can find an excuse to get near you. If your at a bar have a drink, dance, smile at another girl...before the nights over, she'll come to you.

Chin Angevine said...

This is a lesson on why men should be wary about sexual harrassment. The "victim" may re-accuse him of the same crime years later, and that guy could do something that would help the case of his so-called victim. Calling up someone who's an expert on such legal matters may help in avoiding this.
Chin Angevine @ GreaterHoustonDefense.com

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