Saturday, November 23, 2013

Accomplishment and attraction

Keep this in mind the next time a woman is attempting to sell you on the myth of female strength of mind:
Rebecca had to be comforted by her fellow female contestants after the sight of Amy Willerton in a bikini became too much for her to bear on Thursday night's episode and she later broke down in tears.

She admitted: 'It's making me very, very insecure that I have to look [a certain way]. For me, I was an athlete.

'I wasn’t trying to be a model, but pretty much every single week on Twitter I get somebody commenting on the way I look.’
This is not a silly, weak-minded girl talking. This is a world record holder, a two-time Olympic gold medalist, and a woman who is lionized in her country.  And yet, she is repeatedly reduced to tears by the mere sight of a prettier woman with a better body in a bikini. And it's not even an exceptionally attractive woman or a model, merely a small-time British wannabe with good hair.

 One look says it all.

The fact is that women care more about their sexual appeal than their accomplishments. Far more. Why? Because their primary objective is to attract the highest-quality man and sane women understand that their accomplishments tend to be tertiary factors, at most, in this regard.

Which, of course, is one reason why the Game approach to them is the most effective one.  A female writer adds:

"[T]he not always palatable truth is that women feel immensely competitive with one another on a purely superficial level. Call it genetics, call it plain old jealousy, but which one of us hasn’t lost weight and had a makeover and swept into a roomful of frenemies – ta-dah! – to be met with a studied air of indifference? And which one of us hasn’t felt a touch of the green-eyed monsters about a colleague’s thick glossy hair, or a friend’s endless legs and radiant complexion?" 

Women care about male accomplishments and female appearance. That's the simple reality. You can accept it or you can cry about it, but the one thing you aren't going to do is change it.

47 comments:

Res Ipsa said...

I don't know about the rest of you, but I wasn't looking at her mind in the first place.

Unknown said...

You owe me big time for this link Vox.

Frankie Boyle was renowned for making non-PC jokes on this BBC comedy show. He left around the time of this joke.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/6375884/Mock-The-Week-in-trouble-over-Rebecca-Adlington-joke.html

"The remark which has now fallen foul of the trust was made by Frankie Boyle, a regular on BBC Two’s Mock The Week, and broadcast in August 2008, soon after Adlington won two gold medals in Beijing.

"The thing that nobody really said about Rebecca Adlington is that she looks pretty weird. She looks like someone who's looking at themselves in the back of a spoon," he said."

also

"Boyle went on to compound the offence by making a second derogatory remark about Miss Adlington's appearance, referring to her arrival back in Britain at the end of the Games. Boyle said: "When she arrived back on the flight she met her boyfriend. Did you see her boyfriend? He was really attractive. He was like a male model. So from that I have deduced that Rebecca Adlington is very dirty." "

You're very welcome...

The infamous clip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrMBPVNNqVc


Unknown said...

And her response
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=todwLn3y8mg

VD said...

You owe me big time for this link Vox.

Not so much. I live in Europe and have watched Mock the Week for years. You left out his joke about her having an advantage at the Olympics because she looks like a dolphin.

Anonymous said...

I'd have expected an Olympic swimmer to be more, uh, streamlined.

Unknown said...

They never should have let him leave, he was the slice of lemon in the G&T. The show just not the same without that edge.

VD said...

They never should have let him leave, he was the slice of lemon in the G&T. The show just not the same without that edge.

No question. But as Dara once said, there was the problem of everyone sitting around and waiting for Frankie's next line. He was so much better than everyone else that it did tend to inhibit the others.

Unknown said...

It only hurt because it was true. His own (Frankie's) show Tramadol Nights seemed reminiscent of Spike Milligan's work. Or that was my impression from small clips from both. The truly funny (IME) often seem not normal (abnormal seems too harsh). Old Jack Dee material (deadpan) is worth a look if you've never tried him...he was the only resteraunter to have his customers call the police on him. He liked to put boiling water in the finger bowls of customers he didn't like.

Unknown said...

Hmm seems my keyboard and spellchecker have been imbibing too much. Apologies.

Polynices said...

"Women care about male accomplishments and female appearance"

Of course, that can easily be extended to *everyone* cares about male accomplishments and female appearance. As you've pointed out many times before.

SarahsDaughter said...

Everything you've said is true. In addition, what's most ugly about her is her lack of gratitude and her covetous heart. She's engaged to a (not gay) male sprinter who is four years younger than her - he's 20, she's 24.

She, like all women, compares her worst to this other woman's best. Amy, being a single young woman, had body treatments that included electrical stimulation that encourages muscle contraction before going on the show. Though that's not particularly important (a girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do) but certainly Rebecca has the resources to transform herself into whatever look she feels is necessary. If that means losing all of her body fat so as to not be able to swim distances, then do so. But really, grow up.

Isn't it ridiculous? When's the last time you've heard a Clay Matthews complain that being around Rich Froning makes him feel fat and hurts his self image? And, Clay Matthews has much more reason to whine, there is a facebook page called "I hate Clay Matthews" and there is a "Clay Matthews sucks" forum.

I get requests for advice from women on how to deal with their low self image/body image when they're pregnant. The best advice I have for them is to hit their knees and beg for forgiveness for their ugly, covetous, ungrateful hearts.

GB said...

Notice how she blames twitter? She wouldn't care about her appearance at all if only those big meanies on the internet would just shut up.

Emma said...

On the other hand, there is nothing like dating a guy who thinks you look great, and everything you do only adds to your value to him. Date close to your "SMV", folks, and pick a man who values loyalty in himself and women. Then you don't have to burst into tears over a girl being prettier than you.

Hamilton said...

It's why nobody watches female sports, cause even the athletes know they'd trade all their talent and skill for a high value man or an impeccably sexy body.

Unless it's beach volleyball.

Hamilton said...

It's why nobody watches female sports, cause even the athletes know they'd trade all their talent and skill for a high value man or an impeccably sexy body.

Unless it's beach volleyball.

Greg said...

"And it's not even an exceptionally attractive woman or a model, merely a small-time British wannabe with good hair"

According to the link she was named Miss Universe Great Britain. Amy Willerton is exceptionally attractive - at least physically.

That said, it's pretty amazing that a 4-time Olympic medalist doesn't have greater self-esteem.

Markku said...

Rebecca has the resources to transform herself into whatever look she feels is necessary. If that means losing all of her body fat so as to not be able to swim distances, then do so.

That face is beyond salvaging. So, I'd say she'd do better by just doing what she's good at, even if it means a few extra pounds.

SarahsDaughter said...

I don't know, Markku, take a look at her best.

Never mind that I had to search for quite a while for this picture...

Anonymous said...

Based on the picture SarahsDaughter linked, I'd say Rebecca just needs a nose job to be quite acceptable, at least from the neck up.

Unknown said...

She(Rebecca) looks like a man from the photo.

Unknown said...

I'm sorry, Basil. I thought she was a MAN! You must admit....she does look rather...manish.

Yeah....gotta go with Markku on this one...beyond salvaging.....She looks like an old English actor a recall from the 60's and 70's who was often inevitably cast as the proverbial Angle Warrior....just add long, course black hair, goatee & chainmail. Yes, THERE it is!

Dexter said...

The big schnoz and the manjaw don't really help.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"not even an exceptionally attractive woman"

Indeed. Willerton looks ever-so-slightly 'off'.

Although I certainly wouldn't kick her out of my bed for eating biscuits.

Anonymous said...

What can a woman who was gifted by her Creator with a funhouse mirror parked in front of her face?

She could thank God she is alive, rich, healthy, talented. She could thank Christ for dying for her on the cross. She could cultivate attractive feminine qualities such as submission, respect, and quietness. She could reject unattractive feminine qualities such as the need to cut down other women. Of course, she won't do those things in her youth.

The sin of covetousness is tragic indeed. I pray she finds repentance someday.

LibertyPortraits said...

It's like an orc standing next to an elf.

Markku said...

But think about a scalzied manboob instead. He is doomed to no romantic interest from the opposite sex either, but he also doesn't get the attention that comes along with doing something while female.

So, she doesn't have it all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

Markku said...

Another multiple olympic medal winner.

Now THIS is something that women truly hate...

Markku said...

Oops, I was wrong, just European Championship medals.

Anonymous said...

Hamilton says :Unless it's beach volleyball.

Your first name wouldn't be "Laird" would it?

Dexter said...

It's like an orc standing next to an elf.

Nah. She's not an Orc. She's just not Miss Universe Great Britain.

It is surprising how meaty she is for an Olympic athlete, though.

Markku said...

It is surprising how meaty she is for an Olympic athlete, though.

Fat floats.

Anonymous said...

Caveat with "athletic" women: once they stop spending 5+ hours a day doing activites that burn calorities, they bloat up like a balloon.

Think about the hot girls you went to high school with who resemble hippopotami now. Better to go with the girls who are thin now, and also lethargic.

Anonymous said...

I saw this tweeted on Heartiste, and the first thing I thought was "NAWALT!" My own accomplishments are totally more important to me than how I look. I spend 10 times more time thinking on personal growth issues rather than looks, and when I do think about my own looks, it's generally as a chore. Personal grooming is one more thing on my to do list. I don't relish most of it.

Then I read the quote-

"Rebecca had to be comforted by her fellow female contestants after the sight of Amy Willerton in a bikini became too much for her to bear on Thursday night's episode and she later broke down in tears. "

I think Rebecca is actually more sad about being bullied on twitter rather than how Amy looks.

Apart from that, hey, the example noted is about how another chick looks in a bikini. Maybe that's why I don't get it. Perhaps there are other reasons I don't spend much time thinking about how other women look better in a bikini than I do. I mean, not like I know any miss universe contestants personally.

Markku said...

Feministx: So, if I were to look up your profile photo, it would be about accomplishments and personal growth, right?

SarahsDaughter said...

Perhaps you shouldn't pull a NAWALT on this subject if your moniker links to your blog and "Body Issues" is one of your categories."I want a great body so badly."

Anonymous said...

In the beginning of the year, I wanted to work on my body, but after about June, I got tired that and I haven't blogged much at all about it since. It was a project I worked on for a while. Just like interviewing for a job was a project I worked on for a while. But still, it was just like anything else. When I want to work on singing, I look towards other singers I admire and I practice based what they do. When I want to work on my body, I look towards models or people with a good fitness regimen and I practice that too. But the point is, it's just another mode of focusing, not any more valuable than singing or working or reading or anything else I do.

By the way, one of my body issues this year was that I only look good and that I have no athleticism. Yes, this has made me rather insecure in my life. It took work to accept that the only thing I know how to do with my body is make it aesthetic. http://feministx.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/my-body-this-year/



Anonymous said...

So yeah, anyone who thinks that girls who look like Rebecca are the only ones who feel insecure compared to an Amy are wrong. Lots of girls become insecure next to other girls because they are more athletic, regardless of who looks better. I feel like shit next to girls who can dance like they were born to when I take dance class with them. It's very frustrating for me because I wish I could look graceful and coordinated, but I can't. It's not just about who has the more sexually aesthetic body. I feel so inferior doing yoga next to my best friend who is a yoga teacher.

Markku said...

I feel so inferior doing yoga next to my best friend who is a yoga teacher.

You only have a point if you end up in tears in that yoga class.

Anonymous said...

"You only have a point if you end up in tears in that yoga class. "

I have seen *so many* ballerinas in yoga classes in NYC break down into tears in yoga because they couldn't do everything while other people could.

VD said...

I saw this tweeted on Heartiste, and the first thing I thought was "NAWALT!" My own accomplishments are totally more important to me than how I look.

That's because you think you are much more attractive than most women. I guarantee you that you would suddenly find your accomplishments less important were you surrounded by women who were considered more attractive than you are.

You're basically like the rich man who thinks he doesn't care about money because he doesn't think about it. But he doesn't because he has no reason to think about it. It's just there.

Give it a few years. You'll begin to understand as you begin to approach The Wall and you suddenly start being seen only for your accomplishments. I've seen it happen to many attractive women and I've never known one to truly enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

feministx, ballerinas break into tears over just about anything. The bigger question is, why do you feel the need to be better at things like dance than everyone else? The only reason you claim your appearance isn't important is because you think you're a 9.99 out of 10, and have made so abundantly clear for the last year everywhere in the manosphere, despite men who are qualified to judge you reporting to the contrary.

Markku said...

The bigger question is, why do you feel the need to be better at things like dance than everyone else?

My working theory (of women in general) is that they are by nature so insecure that whatever activity they are doing at the moment becomes the feather that breaks the camel's back - the ONE failure that would supposedly make everyone think that the weight of evidence is now that she is a failure as a human being.

Now, obviously a SUCCESS in it doesn't give them credit for one free failure in the future; next time it's again that one final feather. Because it is an emotional judgement, not a rational one.

Anonymous said...

@Markku, your theory shows you have some experience working with women in the workplace, or perhaps supervising them.

Some things I learned quickly when I had a small team of young (late teens/early 20s) women working for me in an office, and my own performance goals meant I had to keep them happy and productive, was:

(1) Feelings are all that matters - if your employees feel crummy, nothing useful is going to happen. Team meetings consisted of going around in a circle and letting each employee talk about how she felt today (but make sure they think it was their idea to talk, not you asking them directly). A quick gauge of how an employee feels is how she's dressed; if she looks good, she feels good, and if she looks bad, she feels bad.

(2) Past good performance did nothing to alleviate today's stress. I treated each day like they were brand new hires.

(3) Anxiety is how women overcome their innate solipsism and lack of empathy. It got maddening sometimes to deal with near-panic-attacks over "Should I not have said this in that email I just sent???", but eventually I learned that anxiety is how women learn to become good people. Just let them be anxious, let them panic, and remain strong and be the bedrock they can rely on.

(4) The less a man speaks, the better. One-liners are ideally suited for emails. When dropping by their cubicles to discuss something, my goal was to say as little as possible and to be out of their as soon as possible. The more each employee felt that attitude from me, the better we'd communicate and the more productive she'd be.

(5) Women need to feel like the queen of the roost. I didn't tolerate bickering on my team, so I instead cultivated an "us vs. them" attitude about my team and other departments. I made sure my team had good laptops, and made a big deal about getting one team member her own copy of Photoshop. (It wasn't that big of a deal, but it made her really happy to know she had it and nobody else did. She celebrated her conquest by doing lots of work in it every day).

(6) I ignored utterly everything my female boss, at the C-level, told me to do. "Take your new workers out for coffee and get to know them. Talk to them one on one, not just in meetings." What the heck? That's the worst possible thing a male boss could do with a 19 year old college student. (Female employees feel safest working with men they look up to, but within the protection of the herd. No calling them into my office alone.)

I think part of this comes from how you must raise babies and small children: investment last week doesn't excuse you from the need to feed or soothe a crying infant today, and six months' worth of investment doesn't excuse getting angry and giving a baby a beating.

Markku said...

Aaron, only working, not supervising.

Markku said...

*puts hand on shoulder*

Ma'am, this was the final exam. Of life. This yoga move was it. I'm afraid you have failed. There is just no coming back from this. But I wish you the best of luck in the next life.

Unknown said...

"only working, not supervising."

Growing up with an annoying and very predictable little sister probably helps too.

Markku said...

Growing up with an annoying and very predictable little sister probably helps too.

Exactly what I was thinking first. But didn't at the moment feel mean enough to say.

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