Clearly this man simply isn't leading his soon-to-be ex-wife sufficiently well, otherwise I have no doubt she would be a fine, upstanding, submissive woman who would always put her marriage first.
Some things can't be fixed. Some people can't be fixed. They're just broken, or in some cases, simply unfit for specific purposes. Just as not every man is capable of being an NFL quarterback, not every woman is capable of being a wife and mother under the current legal regime. This woman might be capable of being married in Saudi Arabia or another country where such behavior would not be legally tolerated. But not in the USA, where it is not only tolerated by the law, but protected.
121 comments:
One wonders what she is thinking about this. Public embarrassment = getting nuked.
There are a couple decades of pedestal worship that go into crafting a woman like that.
I have knowledge of two such girls. They were exceptionally enjoyable the first few weeks, then they stop being able to hide the warning sides. Most men even the deltas know to cut and run, but these women will trap gammas every time.
^ Yes. I think those type of men are too keen on merely having a girlfriend rather than actually acquiring one of quality... a.k.a. low SMV. Actually marrying one, though, wow... obviously it happens but it's still hard to comprehend.
Any port in the storm for the desperate man.
Obviously you guys have never been on the lake!
Seriously though, I know multiple women like this. They hide it like fc6 said very well the first weeks/months. One of them even calls this peacock feathers.... imagine being normal, is now a peacock feather.
I hate repeating myself, but my goodness, that's a tall toddler.
Pro tip: take her to the lake and come back alone.
that lake must really be awesome
Don't discount how changes in power structure affects women. Good employees who come into wealth, through marriage or inheritance, get tougher to work with. Tenured teachers become complacent. Promoted employees treat their subordinates much worse than they did when they were coworkers.
And women put less effort into their relationships when they are given the power of the state through marriage.
It's not hard to understand why you can misjudge someone's capacity for one situation based on their behavior under a different power structure.
This video appears to be his casus belli to get rid of her. Maybe she grew horns and a tail after he married her.
I don't know why he doesn't just "Man up and take responsibility" instead of whining and complaining about her getting on facebook and texting to make him look like the bad guy.
It's patently OBVIOUS from this video that all she needs is for her man to show her leadership. She isn't behaving like a 4 year old girl, at all. No sirree.
There ya go, Yttik, I made your post for you.
I was wondering how long before you got ahold of this one. I showed it to my husband and 12yo son the other night - my husband's only reaction was to look at his son and say "Son, that's why you choose carefully. You don't want to wake up one day and find yourself married to that."
-- there was further discussion on women and acting like children, etc -- all of if of course shocking to my son who I am sure assumes that all husband/wife relations are like his own parents'.
The husband in the video says the wife is acting like an 11yo. Even my kids at 2 years never acted that bad when they didn't get their way. No way. Scowling, crossing their arms maybe but that? no.
Actually, no he's not leading. She wouldn't be acting that way if he was. Would you act that way around a man with a tiny bit of power and self respect? No! He's not leading, instead he is competing with her for the victim card. She posts and texts that he's bad and to blame, he video tapes her in retaliation, hoping to snag the victim card himself.It's like marriage by public opinion poll.
Saudi Arabia, Vox? I don't know what to say. Claiming a man needs an entire repressive regime as backup in order to handle one hysterical female, is not exactly a rousing recommendation for a man's ability to lead.
I saw this in an article yesterday. It was mind boggling to see how many fools tried to pin her behavior on him, like it's his fault she's such a brat.
What exactly am I supposed to get from this except that this guy as a grade A jerk who wants to humiliate his wife? It's an argument on video that says nothing about what led up to it.
Good grief. Forget SFWA, Mensa needs to be thinking about losing a member with thinking like this.
Whatever lake she's talking about should use this in a commercial:
"Briggs Lake is the lake she was talking about. It's better than ANYTHING!"
Martel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROF-w-96YmU
"It was mind boggling to see how many fools tried to pin her behavior on him, like it's his fault she's such a brat." - Amy G.
Sadly my wife is one of those... Of course it says a lot about certain aspects of my own life.
What exactly am I supposed to get from this except that this guy as a grade A jerk who wants to humiliate his wife?
He didn't humiliate her, she humiliated herself. He knew perfectly well that he was out of there when he recorded the video in order to set the public record straight.
Claiming a man needs an entire repressive regime as backup in order to handle one hysterical female, is not exactly a rousing recommendation for a man's ability to lead.
I think the more accurate interpretation of Vox's claim is that an entire repressive regime is backing up the hysterical females, leaving men like this with little to no leverage to employ as leaders.
If you took a top-notch military commander and putting him "in command" of an army where he could not take action against incompetent or mutinous subordinates and anyone in the service could quit at any time and continue receiving full pay and benefits would you say the army's inevitable failure was due to "lack of leadership" on the part of the commander?
To conclude my previous comment in a better way: You can't demand responsibility from someone who has no authority. Under the present legal regime what authority does a man have over his wife? How much can he then be held responsible for her behavior?
Here's the punch line: It is his fault she's acting like such a brat! My two year olds were better behaved. Why? Because I expected them to behave, I set the rules and I enforced them as promised.
The husband here has obviously done no such thing for far too long.
Either that or she needs serious medication because she is simply batshit crazy.
The assumption on the part of so many, even here, is that as a woman she has no mental or moral agency, no more capacity for thought or self-direction than an amoeba. Without the firm hand of someone else, she is an infant forever. So noted.
otoh to Jake's point, had the husband actually tried to get her under control it is highly likely that she'd bring charges against him and make his life a living hell.
men are sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place with the way this is all set up for them.
Mina makes a good point about children. Why do some children behave and others throw tantrums? Parenting which is a form of leadership.
Yeesh, looks like this little girl needs a big time out.
"The assumption on the part of so many, even here, is that as a woman she has no mental or moral agency, no more capacity for thought or self-direction than an amoeba..."
No, my assumption is that it is very difficult to follow someone who is being passive/aggressive, doesn't know what he wants, and seems to desire public approval for his constant victim hood.
Ironically, she gave him exactly what he was asking for. He led, she followed.
Why do some children behave and others throw tantrums? Parenting which is a form of leadership.
And what if the state effectively removed parents' authority? How well could parents discipline their children if the children knew that any punishment could be overturned by a judge any time they complained? And, furthermore, that the children could, for any reason whatsoever, kick the parents out of the house and force them to keep paying for their upkeep? How well could parents enforce any discipline under such circumstances?
Even in a system that doesn't interfere with parenting, there is still such a thing as incorrigible children. Do you know what "incorrigible" means, little backwards kitty? It doesn't mean "someone failed to lead them," it means no authority in the world can do anything with them. My father was head of a program to get behavior problem and deeply troubled teens back into the mainstream, and found that while most of them could be turned around through discipline, there were a few who were beyond anyone's ability to lead. These kids were sociopaths, and all of them eventually wound up in jail. Likewise, there are incorrigible women.
@kitty,
seriously, Vox, I know you don't do sock puppets, but someone has got to be doing a parody of the female apologists with this person's comments. At first I thought it was a blue pill man (either a delta or gamma type), but now I'm pretty sure yttik/kitty is a woman.
By the way, isn't it comforting to know that the woman in this video, and millions and millions of her sisters (who may be better at disguising their deep childishness) are registered voters? I know it makes me feel so much better at election time to know my right to vote is equal to hers, with equal weight.
I get it, Stickwick. Many men would prefer to believe that they are simply the helpless victims of multiple female sociopaths, rather than acknowledging their own power, authority, and responsibility.
So why is that? If that is because they want to compete for the victim card, stop it. That game is so rigged.
Little backwards kitty, you don't get it. Your conclusion is a fixed point in your little backwards kitty brain, and no amount of reason is going to move it. When your husband, if you have one or ever find one, inevitably fails to lead you in the proper direction, perhaps you can find a nice little old lady who will scoop your litter box for you.
rather than acknowledging their own power, authority, and responsibility.
What power and authority is that? Please elaborate.
And do you agree that to the extent authority is limited that responsibility must also be reduced?
rather than acknowledging their own power, authority, and responsibility.
Man stands up to wife. Wife resents this, and knows she can divorce anytime for cash and prizes.
Wife divorces for cash and prizes, man is screwed.
yttik, what would you suggest a man do in this situation?
Is your contention that a true man, a true leader, is essentially immune from all laws governing divorce, because he's so awesome that women will always defer to his leadership once he opens his yapper?
That certainly seems to be what you're saying, because otherwise, the deck is totally stacked against men who marry.
Pre-marriage, what you are saying makes some sense, yttik, because men still have some leverage.
After marriage, men have no leverage. There are white papers written by academics that contend that the altering of divorce law created actual power shifts in marriages themselves, even when there was no divorce.
No fault divorce shifted the power dynamic in a marriage from the man to the woman. There is no avoiding this, it's fact, reality. This is obvious if you think about it for a few seconds.
Game isn't magic. It doesn't alter reality, like you seem to think it does.
No fault divorce had consequences, yttik, yet you insistg on pretending that there is nothing wrong with marriage law, men just need to 'man up' more, eh?
The other side of the story, such as it is:
During a phone interview, she told Right This Minute that her meltdown was the result of her exhaustion in dealing with her husband’s bullying. Whitney claims she and her husband had made plans with friends beforehand to go out on the lake, but after a fight, Jim canceled the plans.
Whitney, a nurse with a Masters degree, admitted that she is extremely embarrassed that her family, friends and co-workers have seen the video. She also confirmed she is filing for divorce.
The couple has only been married since May 2012.
During a phone interview, she told Right This Minute that her meltdown was the result of her exhaustion in dealing with her husband’s bullying. Whitney claims she and her husband had made plans with friends beforehand to go out on the lake, but after a fight, Jim canceled the plans.
I fail to see how this is 'the other side of the story' in any way. The 'he bullies me' excuse is exactly what I'd expect to hear from this woman.
It's clear she is the bully, and it's almost as clear that what she considers 'bullying' is his tendency to laugh at her shenanigans rather than take her seriously.
Giraffe,
She got her side of the story out there PDQ. It's funny that the first thing they lead with is her: a. being exhausted, b. her husbands bad behavior, and c. her professional credentials. Then and only then is she embarrassed.
If she was that tired, his not going to the lake was doing her a favor. I wonder why that didn't get a mention. Also, her objection in the video wasn't that they had made plans with another couple for the day, it was that she wanted to do something and he had other chores that needed doing. Methinks she lies.
The 'he bullies me' excuse is exactly what I'd expect to hear from this woman.
And who would have been surprised if "he bullies me" had turned into "he abuses me" if this guy continued to do either of the below:
A: Asserted his "authority" and took action against such hysterics. My thought watching the video was "I'd want to stop the truck and drag her out, tell her to pull herself together or start walking" I'm sure a moderately skilled lawyer could turn that into "abuse" with ease.
B: Tolerated such hysterics in a gamma fashion until she got bored with him and wanted to move on.
Yeah and here's his side: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/07/22/man-uploads-wifes-explosive-temper-tantrum-on-youtube-one-of-them-has-reportedly-moved-out-and-filed-a-restraining-order/
"Didn’t promise anything at all. In fact, I had worked 60 hours that week and told her all week that [S]aturday was my day to get stuff done around the house,” he wrote. “But as usual she threw a fit about it. She has broken doors off the jambs at our house…That was the last day I lived in our house. I have moved out and filed a restraining order against her.”
Jim also said he realized his marriage was truly over when his wife defriended him on Facebook."
Love the sarcastic comment at the end lol, she probably thought "Ha! that will show him!".
Who's "story" are you going to believe? The psychotic five-year old with a masters degree (no "She should know better" comments?), or the guy who just finished a 60 hour work week and needed to use the bit of time at the weekend to get shit that needed doing, done.
Note that during her screaming she didn't take the car for an oil change because of "that interlock thing", I'm informed this is a device put on American cars to prevent drink driving?
Yeah, I see how this adds up. Spoilt "princess", wants to drink and party all week and weekend, with husband's "petty money" that she loves to dictate how it is spent of course. Responsibilities don't matter because SHE wants to go to the lake! NOW!
Dismayed at all the hate the guy is getting, even on this site. Let's turn it around a minute, if HE was the one full on uncontrollably ranting and raging at her because he wanted to go to the pub, rather than do whatever needed doing in the house, can you imagine a SINGLE fucking person saying "Well they're both at fault here..."?
Also note, how quickly she stopped the "crying", sat bolt upright and shut up while she whipped out her phone and start posting to everyone about how her husband is Sooooooo horrible to her on Facebook.
In my opinion the guy did the right thing here, sat and laughed at her rather than took her seriously, and showed the fucking banshee she is, guy must have had the patience of a saint to put up with her shit this far, (but of course he's at fault for that too).
Sun Tzu can show you how, lol:
(taken from a random googled site)
Sun Tzu’s book The Art of War, earned him an audience with the King of Wu, who said, “I have read your books, may i submit your theory of managing soldiers to a small test?”
Sun Tzu replied “Sir, you may.”
The King of Wu asked “Can the test be applied to women?”
Sun Tzu replied that it could, so arrangements were made to bring 180 beautiful women from the palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two troops with one of the King’s favourite concubines at the head of each. He the made all of them take spears in their hands and spoke to them: “I presume you know the difference between front and back, right and left?”
The women replied, “Yes. Of course”
Sun Tzu continued, “When to the sound of drums I order ‘eyes front,’ look straights ahead. When I order ‘left turn,’ face toward your left. When I order ‘right turn’, face toward your right. When I order turn around, face around to the back.
After the words of command had been explained, the women agreed they understood. He gave them spears so he could begin the drill. To the sound of drums, Sun Tzu ordered ‘right turn.’ In response the women burst out in laughter.
With great patience, Sun Tzu said, “If the instructions and words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame.” He then repeated the explanations several times. This time he ordered the drums to signal ‘left turn,’ and again the women burst into laughter.
Then Sun Tzu said, “If the instructions and words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if the commands are clear and the soldiers disobey, then it is the fault of the officers.” He immediately ordered the women who were at the head of the two troops to be beheaded.
Of course, the King was watching from a raised pavilion, and when he saw that his two favourite concubines were about to be executed, he was alarmed and swiftly sent down a message: “We are now quite satisfied as to the general’s ability to manage troops. Without these concubines, my food and drink will not taste good. It is the King’s wish that they not be beheaded.”
Sun Tzu replied, “Having received the sovereign’s commission to take charge and direct these troops, there are certain orders I cannot accept.” He immediately had the two concubines beheaded as an example and appointed the two next in line as the new leaders.
Now the drums were sounded and the drill began. The women performed all the maneuvers exactly as commanded. They drilled perfectly in precision and did not utter a single sound.
Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King of Wu saying, “Your Majesty, the soldiers are now correctly drilled and perfectly disciplined. As sovereign, you may choose to require them to go through fire and water and they will not disobey.”
The King responded, “Our commander should cease the drill and return to his camp. We do not wish to come down and inspect the troops.”
With great calm, Sun Tzu said, “This King is only fond of words and cannot carry them into deeds.”
Commentary following this story indicates that the King relented, recognizing Sun Tzu’s ability and appointed him a general; and Sun Tzu won many battles.
(but of course he's at fault for that too).
Um...NO!
Most guys don't want to have a bad marriage. Most guys want their wives to be happy and feel like they have it good.
Most guys don't have a clue why women are unhappy or if there is something they have done wrong.
Most guys aren't "blowing it off" when it comes to the wife's bad behavior, they just don't understand it. Society has told men for the last 40 years that it's "his fault" for being "clueless". So guys stick it out trying to figure out what is wrong and fix it.
Sticking it out isn't weakness, its love.
Sometimes it is the guy's fault. We did or didn't do something that caused a problem. Most men admit that and can see the wife's point when its brought to our attention. BUT sometimes the breakdown is the women's fault. Sometimes she is selfish, irrational and nuts. Sometimes she is a drunk that can't handle the household chores because the police have had to step in and put a monitor on the car to keep her from getting hammered and driving.
Sometimes that means we can't go to the lake because in the grown up world we have to take care of our responsibilities first.
Heh Res, apologies I should have been clearer, that was English sarcasm. I was highlighting the fault that at ANY point when something is wrong, it's the blokes fault. If something's right though, it's not through his deeds of course..
I'm quite sick of how men literally get NO support, even when it's quite clear that someone else is being absolutely out of order.
How can we POSSIBLY move forward when we won't even respect and encourage eachother? Oh yeah he apparently tried marriage counselling. She showed up late, then left as soon as she was criticised...
"Many are so sickened by the woman that they do not focus on the evil that this young man commits…I was guilty…but now after seeing this I am even more sickened by the “husband”…what a jerk he is being as well. He is doomed to a life of hell if he does not change his own ways."
/sigh, makes me sad. Just one of many. Heck the majority of comments I have read have actually been more against the husband than the batshit bitch.
If he'd have sat and put up with it, let her carry on slandering the fuck out of him and make him out to be an abusive bully to everyone, put up with her shit with a smile, with his 60 hour work weeks and boat he's paying for (at her insistence), he'd be called a "Gamma", a "failure", a "waste".
If he'd have gotten angry in return, threw her out of the fucking car and left her, he'd be called a horrible abusive man who should be locked up (and would proceed to end up so). She would receive the house, boat, his money, car (that she can't drive due to drinking problems) and as much sympathy and support as she could possibly get.
No way out..
No kidding. Her "he's a bully!" is not only boilerplate bullshit, it's straight-up projection, hoping to get him blamed for her crime before anyone notices she's committed it.
Look, here's the deal: He could probably have prevented it. With proper training, which he almost certainly hasn't had. But that doesn't make it his fault. It's her actions, it's her fault. Even bratty kids are responsible for their own actions, even if they aren't held responsible.
The guy handled it beautifully. He exposed her for what she was. Those who hate truth will attack him. Those who love it will support him.
Liars always hate and fear those who are willing to turn over rocks and expose the dishonest.
What "proper training" is there for men? And by taking it, we'd be looked on as "training to be oppressors". All men get is told to "man up" and take it. Sure we don't expect anything to be done for us, but there's no support, healing or encouragement anymore, even between men. Such a wedge that has been driven.
No way out..
I understand the marriage strike now. There may be no way out, so it's best to choose not to get in. Just a bit shite men have to choose between a life of loneliness and possibly their genes dying out, and..that.
To be fair, the guy is being a dick.
What kind of asshole uses rotating the tires as an excuse?
A guy who has worked 60 hours that week and needed to get stuff done, having the tires rotated was just one of them, along with other maintenance and things around the house that needed doing that he mentions.
Oh and taking her car to get the oil changed because she's too much of a drunkard to be able to, (caught drink driving and has that device which prevents it).
Nevermind all that though, SHE WANTED TO GO TO THE LAKEEEEEE, NOWWWWWWWW!
Again, rather than analysing and condemn her ACTUAL behaviour, people's default stance is to try and pick faults with the man. Because of course it's all his fault in the end. (Sarcasm).
People would have NOT, for ONE fucking second thought of ANY possibility there could be ANY wrongdoing by her if it was the other way round, him RAGING that he wanted to go to the pub at the weekend, rather than do maintenance and household work, when she'd been busy all week.
We can still do one thing.
We can put a curse on our wives.
Think about it.
"What power and authority is that? Please elaborate."
I'll try. The men I know who have successful relationships recognize who they are and what they want. They certainly don't compete with women for the victim card. They do not seek constant public approval of their alleged victim status, in fact they would be embarrassed to post a video like that showing a woman in their care acting so outrageous.
Lastly, leadership is not about being a jerk. You lead strongly, but in the process you also take someone's feelings and opinions into consideration. You're trying to win a relationship, not the public's sympathy for how abused you are.
Kitty,
What drugs are you on? Let me know.
If blame can be placed on a man's shoulders, it has to be her father, if there even is one in the picture.
the other possibility is that the woman is a raging alcoholic. which would explain a lot, esp her rage about going down on the lake - most likely where she gets to indulge in all the alcohol she can fit into her gullet.
Ah yes, Mina. Withdrawals.
Got the jist of my husbandly responsibilities. Thanks, yttik
now, what do you consider wifely responsible?
Yttik: "Saudi Arabia, Vox? I don't know what to say. Claiming a man needs an entire repressive regime as backup in order to handle one hysterical female, is not exactly a rousing recommendation for a man's ability to lead."
He doesn't need a repressive regime to control her he needs the existing repressive regime to leave him alone and let him discipline her. The proper response to this is to stop the car and give her a rigorous spanking. He then should take her Iphone, Ipad, and I everything away from her as there is far to much "I" in her life as it is. She needs to get her mind off of herself. He also needs to shut up. None of his comments during the 2nd half helped. He needs to stoically go get his car worked on - that' is all and ignore her rant. That is about the best he can do under the current far worse than Saudi repressive regime.
As it stands you know there will be some in the youtube comments that will castigate him for "verbal abuse" or such and some of those women and white knights will be social workers, low rung cops, or minor government functionaries that can wreck the guys life. His future is bleak as it stands. Did I hear something about a lake - as in he has a boat maybe? He will lose it, and his truck, and whatever house he is in, and this video will be used to prove his abuse and justify it. Too bad for him. He should immediately liquidate everything he has and get it the hell out of the country then make plans to leave or else she will take everything from him in court. If he must keep her than yes - get a job in the middle east, bring her with him, liquidate everything, and when you are settled have a little "talk" with her that involves a paddle.
Yttik - you have not answered a direct question put to you several times. Authority requires power. In this day and age men are legally denied power. He can legally do nothing to stop her rant. Given this - what are his real options for controlling her bad behavior?
You can wax poetic about abstract concepts like "leadership" but you are avoiding the cold hard reality of the situation. If *your* woman (assumption: you live in the U.S.and you are married) decided tomorrow to take everything you have and wreck your life you could do nothing to stop it. She is holding all the cards. You can talk big about this all you want but she has the real power, period, backed up with police whose tasers, truncheons, and bullets, will out alpha you every time. So what can a man do you IN REAL TERMS not abstract ones please?
He can "lead" no he can't he has no power. He can "not compete for the victim card" fine she threatens to call the cops and gets her way with or without you. He can "lead strongly" no he can't anymore than a child could try to lead you - even if eloquent the child is *just* a child and has no real power. Point of fact the only thing he could do to stop the tirade is smack her one, which leads to him being taken away in chains (what is going to happen anyway).
I know that leadership can look like magic to those who have never done it. But leadership really comes from threatpoints. It is merely supposed to look like magic to those being lead.
Yup, especially when those threatpoints are handled absolutely predictably and absolutely without bluffing or remorse.
It was mind boggling to see how many fools tried to pin her behavior on him, like it's his fault she's such a brat.
Attitude follows leadership.
Yes, she has bad behavior. It starts with her, and her actions are a clear indicator that she lacks respect for him.
I would leave open the possibility that she is a disrespectful person, yet judging by the husband's passive-aggressive attitude, I think that's largely out of the picture.
The other side of the story, such as it is:
During a phone interview, she told Right This Minute that her meltdown was the result of her exhaustion in dealing with her husband’s bullying. Whitney claims she and her husband had made plans with friends beforehand to go out on the lake, but after a fight, Jim canceled the plans.
Whitney, a nurse with a Masters degree, admitted that she is extremely embarrassed that her family, friends and co-workers have seen the video. She also confirmed she is filing for divorce.
The couple has only been married since May 2012."
Sounds to me like he played it perfectly. He got out of there with minimal pain AND humiliated and shamed her awful behavior all in one fell swoop. Brilliant.
Jim, (or whatever the husband's name is), after you're done rotating the tires, time to find out how to juggle some women in a rotating harem.
More difficult of course, but much more fun, rewarding and interesting.
And thanks to whomever pointed out the interlock thingie, which totally means she is has been busted (probably several times) for drunk driving.
Lol, judging by the comments and responses and sides taken, its obvious who are the betas, white knights, manginas, faggots and feminists...his ex wife is a cunty, spoiled brat.
She proves once again that women are just spoiled children in adult bodies. Case Study #999999999.
In the Case of Cunty Wife vs Husband, We the jury find judgment for the Husband. You are free to bang other bitches.
No offense, but if he stopped the car, pulled her over his knee and gave her a good spanking, he would have had the most phenomenal sex of his life inside of two minutes right their beside the road.
Here's the thing with that video. The woman is clearly confused by the fact that her fit isn't working. She obviousy expected it to work, and when it didn't she was surprised. So, she did what she does. She ramped it up a notch. It still didn't work, so she kept ramping it up.
My 20 month old daughter used to do similar things but she now doesn't expect the fits to work.
What I'm saying here is... this guy is playing the cool-guy in the video... but he contributed to this behavior in the past. He made this worse by feeding it and rewarding it.
So yes Vox... to an extent it was his fault she was acting that way. The very first time she did it... if he would've shut her down hard... she either would've stopped or left.
He obviously didn't shut it down... which is what this girl needed. Badly.
Her daddy, if she had one, obviously didn't spank her when she 3. So she never bothered getting past 3.
The proper response is to treat her like a 3 year old. Take her home and put her over your knee.
I mean I hate to say it but there is no way I would put a video of my girlfriend acting like that on the net. Because I would've simply stopped the car put her out and made her ass walk home.
I should point out that I am not saying this bitch isn't a spoiled little brat desperately in need of an ass kicking. She is. She really really is.
I'm just saying from this video it looks like he has fed this behavior by capitulating in the past.
Don't hate and fear the truth, Nate.
Actually, no he's not leading. She wouldn't be acting that way if he was. Would you act that way around a man with a tiny bit of power and self respect? No! He's not leading, instead he is competing with her for the victim card. She posts and texts that he's bad and to blame, he video tapes her in retaliation, hoping to snag the victim card himself.It's like marriage by public opinion poll.
And no true Scotsman would murder another man.
Women like that are the reason there was a rule of thumb.
She wasn't tired/worn out/exhausted...she was drunk. She couldn't drive herself to the lake because their cars have breathalyzer "interlocks" on them because this nice young lady had a DUI on her record. She says as much in the video.
Now, he may have been egging her on. But clearly she wanted to go to the lake, get drunker, and let her husband sit around while she made an ass out of herself with her friends. He certainly couldn't have anything to drink himself, because that car likely has an interlock too. "They" likely had not made plans to go to the lake. She made plans with her friends and then tried to brow-beat him into submission. When he had actual household work to do, she proceeds into nuclear, drunken meltdown mode.
"Yttik - you have not answered a direct question put to you several times. Authority requires power. In this day and age men are legally denied power. He can legally do nothing to stop her rant. Given this - what are his real options for controlling her bad behavior?"
I think others have answered that question far better than I can. I think Nate, Permanentguest, Hadley, make some good points. He held the power, he had the ability to change the outcome. That's all I'm trying to say, that men have far more influence and control then they think they do, but they have to believe it.
As to the legal problems, I'm not suggesting he had to assault her. He could have thrown her in the lake or put her out of the car. Or calmed her down. I know my husband wouldn't waste anytime fearing the legal system, probably thinking jail is preferable to being trapped in a car with a shrieking woman anyway.
I could have calmed that woman down without facing assault charges quite easily. In fact, I have been in that situation before. If I can do it, why couldn't a man?
I could have calmed that woman down without facing assault charges quite easily. In fact, I have been in that situation before. If I can do it, why couldn't a man?
You have no idea what you are talking about. When a woman goes into full meltdown mode like this woman did, there is nothing a man can do, short of giving her a smack across the face or some other drastic action. And most of the time, that is considered abuse.
Secondly, how was he egging her on? All we to go on is the video and he simply responded to her increasing irrational statements with rational reasons for not doing what she wanted to do.
"..When a woman goes into full meltdown mode like this woman did, there is nothing a man can do.."
I swear, repeatedly trying to prove how powerless you are must be like the new crack cocaine for men in 2013, because everybody seems so addicted to it.
I wouldn't be surprised if yttik believes it's Jesus fault for the people in hell. He wasn't a good enough leader.
Just say'in.
Thomas, that is a very, very good analogy.
Let's watch the hamster spin on that one!
Imagine how many more people would be in hell if Jesus had simply decided, "I'm helpless and don't believe I'm the son of God, I can't do anything because the system is rigged against me, and I'm scared of women!"
Yttik-exactly what could he have done to force her to stop that wouldn't have caused legal consequence? Even by llaying his hands on her to "throw her" out of the car or in the lake would have invited assault charges. What he did was hold her up to ridicule which was about the only effective way to go. Using reason is useless
As to the legal problems, I'm not suggesting he had to assault her. He could have thrown her in the lake or put her out of the car. Or calmed her down. I know my husband wouldn't waste anytime fearing the legal system, probably thinking jail is preferable to being trapped in a car with a shrieking woman anyway.
This is the first valid point you've had so far, too bad you included it with a suggestion (throwing her in the lake) that would be considered assault in most jurisdictions and another that would likely be fertile grounds for all sorts of claims against him in a divorce. In fact, the latter would probably be exhibit A in divorcing him with cause for abandonment since many judges would say that a man who could do that to his wife is clearly abandoning her on many levels.
People would have NOT, for ONE fucking second thought of ANY possibility there could be ANY wrongdoing by her if it was the other way round, him RAGING that he wanted to go to the pub at the weekend, rather than do maintenance and household work, when she'd been busy all week.
That pretty much sums it up, I'd say.
Oh yeah: kudos to mark for the use of "no true Scotsman." Been a while since I've seen that one, though it applies frighteningly often these days.
I swear, repeatedly trying to prove how powerless you are must be like the new crack cocaine for men in 2013, because everybody seems so addicted to it.
Nice job parsing my quote without quoting the entire section. I never said we were powerless, I said we were powerless if we were unwilling to face the consequences of the pro-female law enforcement doom machine.
I wouldn't be surprised if this guy is arrested for illegal wiretapping, for example.
Yeah and here's his side: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/07/22/man-uploads-wifes-explosive-temper-tantrum-on-youtube-one-of-them-has-reportedly-moved-out-and-filed-a-restraining-order/
The comments in that article are disgusting. Are these people real?
Just to clarify, this kind of crazy is years in the making. I've recently met a child at church where I assist my wife on occasion with watching the pre-k children on Sundays. One child roughly 4 years old, acts very similar to this woman. Her parents, when they come to pick her up, will try to bribe or cajole her to stop acting that way. My wife and the other woman who usually works with her often end up having her sit in a corner. Odds are this is the most punishment and restriction of her actions she gets all week long. Her parents aren't ashamed of how she acts. I've said to my wife that they are doing their child a horrible disservice as the world outside her immediate family will not care what she demands as her due simply because she exists. She will likely end up just like this woman.
Why don't I say anything to the parents? Because such utter failures as parents wouldn't hear or understand a word I said. Since the purpose of communication is to send a message with some hope of understanding on the receivers part, I won't waste my time.
Unless this woman married him after knowing him for just two weeks, he completely failed to identify her as a non-candidate for a relationship longer than a ONS.
@yttik:
It is to yawn. After we have word of you being crucified for telling the truth in front of the Leviathan, maybe we will gain the courage you appear to have from the armchair on the sidelines. Until then, your explanation of how easy it is for us to be Christ-like lacks some credence. Kind of like the imams sending the son's of others to be martyrs.
yttik,
"Imagine how many more people would be in hell if Jesus had simply decided, "I'm helpless and don't believe I'm the son of God, I can't do anything because the system is rigged against me, and I'm scared of women!" "
How many more people being in hell totally misses the point.
Your looking at my analogy the wrong way, just the fact that someone is in hell would suggest Jesus failed based on some of your earlier comments.
You seem to think 'anyone' will follow a leader and if someone is not following, it must be the leaders fault. It may be but not always. So back to my analogy, if only one person ends up in hell, then Jesus failed by your reasoning, not the person who rejected him (read, did not follow).
"After we have word of you being crucified for telling the truth in front of the Leviathan, maybe we will gain the courage you appear to have from the armchair on the sidelines."
Yes, because learning to lead a wife in a successful marriage is just like being crucified and dying for the sins of all mankind!
Some of you guys have no idea how funny you are.
Thomas O, everyone here always wants to talk about fault, blame. I want to talk about men and their unrecognized potential. Here's another way of looking at blame, fault. I've had a long and successful marriage and our success is about 75% my husband's "fault." I'll only claim 25% of the credit (and sprinkle the Grace of God in their somewhere.) I'd say nearly all successful relationships can be heavily "blamed" on a man's ability to lead.
yttik, You think that Jesus' role starts and ends with dying for mankind?
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body". The comparison could not be closer.
So whenever the church goes astray is Christ at least 50% responsible?
Bob,
Sorry about my late response. I work an odd shift and sometimes its 24 hrs before I get back to the blogs. No worries on the comment. I was responding to the idea. I've read your other thoughts and it seems we both have a similar take on the situation.
The wife is a drunk. If the man was the drunk no one would take his side.
Is yytik male of female?
I certainly hope that yttik's reference to "my husband" means the yttik is a she.
*that yttik is a she
@Booch Paradise
Thank you. I missed the husband comment.
I assumed female. The misplaced yet indignant certitude, coupled with trying to win debates through shame instead of dialogue is common among women.
Women also don't like their get out of jail free cards (alternatively known as the pussy pass) even discussed, let alone questioned.
"Some of you guys have no idea how funny you are"
Does that mean some of us do? I'd count myself in that number. By the way, cupcake, you still haven't answered the question: exactly what could he have done to force her to stop that wouldn't have entailed legal consequences aside from what he did which was hold her up for ridicule.
In detail, please. "Calm her down" isn't an answer
Only a woman could blame men for the behavior on the video while simultaneously accusing men of not talking responsibility.
Only a woman could blame men for the behavior on the video while simultaneously accusing men of not talking responsibility.
*drumroll*
*drumroll*
I know it's a comin. But hey, a mans gotta lead when a woman is being ridiculous, right yttik?
" By the way, cupcake, you still haven't answered the question: exactly what could he have done to force her to stop that wouldn't have entailed legal consequences aside from what he did which was hold her up for ridicule."
Pull over... stop the car... and tell her to get the fuck out.
No fair! She has to answer it! Plus, there remains the question of how to get her to actually get out. Telling her sure as spittin' ain't gonna do it.
I think Trust just killed it.
Pull over... stop the car... and tell her to get the fuck out.
Doing this truly won't get you arrested for abuse/endangerment of some sort?
Nate- the key word in the question was Force. While he could certainly pull a gtfo, it would be on her whether she complied.
Is this solipsism? Kitty is submissive to her husband, so she can't imagine it being any other way and if it is it has to be the husband's fault because she does everything correctly.
Is this solipsism?
Precisely.
"The misplaced yet indignant certitude, coupled with trying to win debates through shame instead of dialogue is common among women..."
I think that's unreasonable and unfair. I'm not indignant and I have no desire to shame anybody. From some of the comments on this board, it's apparent some men have entirely too much shame already.
"By the way, cupcake, you still haven't answered the question.."
Actually I did, several times. I also referred you to other comments made by people who did an even better job of explaining it. I suppose it's typical for men to want the mechanics, detailed drawings, exact laws, so they know precisely what to do, but relationships don't work that way. Everybody is different. There are too many variables.
"Kitty is submissive to her husband, so she can't imagine it being any other way and if it is it has to be the husband's fault because she does everything correctly."
I think I already told you, I don't do everything correctly. I already said, he is entitled to about 75% of the blame for our successful marriage.
Actually I did, several times. I also referred you to other comments made by people who did an even better job of explaining it. I suppose it's typical for men to want the mechanics, detailed drawings, exact laws, so they know precisely what to do, but relationships don't work that way. Everybody is different. There are too many variables.
If you can't say even one exact combination of those variables that would work, then you have no way of knowing one exists.
Now, we would all be delighted if you would be so kind as to prove our charge of solipsism by talking about your own marriage again, when the original claim that you first objected to was:
This woman might be capable of being married in Saudi Arabia or another country where such behavior would not be legally tolerated
"If you can't say even one exact combination of those variables that would work, then you have no way of knowing one exists."
I provided some examples. So did others.
I don't understand your second comment or what you're asking of me? Obviously I don't suffer from solipsism since I'm aware of other people, other experiences. As to Saudi Arabia, I already said, it's a pretty sad state of affairs when someone believes they need an entire oppressive regime as back up just to handle one hysterical woman. Would you like some body armor and a tank, too?
I provided some examples. So did others.
There has still been no response so as to what to do in the obvious scenario in which she won't leave the car.
I don't understand your second comment or what you're asking of me?
It was sarcasm. All I'm really asking is even one credible way of handling it that wouldn't result in charges, and most likely your children to be taken from you.
when someone believes they need an entire oppressive regime as back up just to handle one hysterical woman
What Vox said immediately before that particular comment was:
not every woman is capable of being a wife and mother under the current legal regime.
This is not about handling that particular instance, but about what this particular peek into their lives tells us about her. It is the marriage in general with someone like her that would require the wisdom of fundamentalist Islam.
Or, you could avoid it altogether. Which was kinda the point.
Desertion may be an option. If she won't eat her mushrooms.
"It was sarcasm. All I'm really asking is even one credible way of handling it that wouldn't result in charges, and most likely your children to be taken from you."
He provoked her with the obvious purpose of getting a good you tube video. He led, she followed, and played right into what he was asking for. He got exactly what he wanted, he led her exactly where he wanted her to go. And she followed precisely and fell right into his hands. I believe it was an empty victory, one that will cost him in the end. Vox obviously believes he "won" something.
Handling it differently would require a different intent. He has to want a different result and instigate that. A woman that feels loved, respected, and safe, doesn't call the cops. Who wants to be rescued from that?
I'm sorry, there isn't a precise handbook. Use your imagination.
"A woman that feels loved, respected, and safe, doesn't call the cops. Who wants to be rescued from that?"
translates so easily into:
"Yeah, I know I lied about my husband abusing me and got him thrown out in the street, but it's 75% his fault for not making me feel loved, respected and safe...and not leading me properly and making me haaaapy."
"A woman that feels loved, respected, and safe, doesn't call the cops. Who wants to be rescued from that? "
I don't doubt this is true of you. I'm confident it's true of my wife as well. I am skeptical, however, that it's true of all women, and almost positive it's NOT the case for the 2-year-old-in-a-woman's-body shown in that video.
I do find it amazing how many people will basically say that because something is true of them it must be true of everyone of their gender, then turn around and basically say someone else's point is unfair because it is a generalization.
" While he could certainly pull a gtfo, it would be on her whether she complied."
No it isn't. She's creating a safety hazard by her behavior. He is perfectly within his right to get her out of his truck.
i'll provide an example of an excellent way to handle women behaving badly.
A couple were on a trip with two females in the wife's family. Over the course of the day the three had been bitching a bit at the husband and when he was fed up he calmly got all their attention and said, "That's enough. I am not putting up with any more of this. Stop it."
20 minutes later they were in a cracker barrel eating and they started up again.
He got up... got in the car... and drove home... leaving their asses stranded 200 miles from home.
To this day I have no idea what they did to manage to get home. Nothing was ever said about it ever again. But I can assure the women behave themselves around him quite nicely.
yttik,
You could not possibly know if her husband was provoking her or if he was merely videoing a day of his life with little miss crazy.
I just typed a long post that blogger ate, so let me just say I saw a situation very, very similar to this last weekend...at the lake. No one could have stopped that woman either outside of physical restraint. You don't try to reason with or lead drunks. It isn't possible, especially if they are women.
The drunk chick last weekend wasn't even mad, she was happy until she fell and had a little accident. Then she decided her husband wasn't jumping thru enough hoops to cater too her and absolutely lost it. Well, I guess a true leader would have brought her bottle of wine and announced, "You're clearly upset. Drink this til you pass out!" That might have fixed it!
"A woman that feels loved, respected, and safe, doesn't call the cops. Who wants to be rescued from that? "
I understand what you're trying to say... but you're doing a horrible job of saying it.
It has nothing to do with feeling loved or respected or safe.
In fact in many cases it is exactly the opposite.
What keeps a woman from calling the cops is the fear of losing the man.
Now to apply this lesson to this particular situation in the video... note that the bitch is asking for cigarettes. Ok. fine. Take her all the way across town... then pull over at spot and give her a few dollars and tell her to go buy cigarettes.
Then drive off and leave her ass there.
"I'm sorry, there isn't a precise handbook. Use your imagination."
So in your imagination, you're right. Got it
20 minutes later they were in a cracker barrel eating and they started up again.
He got up... got in the car... and drove home... leaving their asses stranded 200 miles from home."
Thems some brass balls, dipped in chrome. I like his style, however in that case he simply refused to put up with it any further, and left. In this case to get her out of the car (and I will admit, she is creating a hazard) if he told her to get out, and she didn't comply he would be forced to physically remove her, which as was mention would leave him open to legal consequences. That was my point, not that there was No other good way to handle it, just that the ones yttik was eluding to were roughly the equivalent of clicking your heels together 3 times and saying something will happen will make it so.
In the spirit of yttik, I shall from henceforth be known as elohssa!
"In the spirit of yttik, I shall from henceforth be known as elohssa!"
When you're feeling really big and bad, feel free to curse me out in pig latin.
Did some joker post a Casual Encounters ad on Craigslist saying that Vox was looking for a tedious attention whore to start commenting on AG?
Coincidentally, I also recall hearing that Satanists practice writing backwards. Can't remember if it was Crowley's school or Anton LeVay's, or maybe it dates back farther than that. I seem to also recall that some of them have a thing for cats.
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