I don't see a way to email you here, so I will venture to ask my question about Sigmas... I'm obsessed with them. I'm an attractive young woman (not attractive enough to marry a Very Alpha alpha, but I think it's reasonable to shoot for a lower alpha/higher beta if we're talking about the "normal" hierarchy) who swoons primarily for Sigmas. I love reading this blog because it helped me put a name to the kind of men I have always fallen madly in love with. I'm an introvert myself. I get plenty of attention on dating sites, out in the world, etc . . . but Sigmas don't seem to congregate on Match.com or often show up at a random party. I have never been into hook-ups or casual relationships, and my only long-term relationships have been Sigmas met in totally unlikely ways.The fact that Sigmas are relatively rare does not mean they are impossible to find. They are not unicorns. On the other hand, they are less easily spotted than Alphas, who thrive upon being the center of attention, and they aren't necessarily going to come to your attention in a pack of loud, rambunctious men out having a good time.
Maybe this is a hopeless question, as the only place I have ever encountered significant concentrations of Sigmas was at the quirky college I attended- but where is a good place to meet them? I live in a big East Coast city (not NYC). When I encounter them in the wild, they usually really like me.
But there are a few tricks that may prove useful in identifying them in the wild.
- Look for the guy who is out in the group, is an obvious part of it, but keeps breaking away from it, especially to pursue women. Sigmas are solitary hunters. They don't need the emotional support from their friends to pursue women, and tend to think that their friends only get in the way. If you see a group of guys, and one of them seems to periodically vanish and return, he could be their Sigma.
- Pay particular attention to the guy who locks eyes with you, disappears for a while, then later appears unexpectedly at your side or behind you. Sigmas like to take people off-guard. The guy who smiles and approaches you directly probably isn't a Sigma. He is more likely the guy who initially makes you feel slightly alarmed and WTF was THAT?
- If a man seems to be intentionally trying to turn you off or irritate you, he may be a Sigma. Sigmas relentlessly test and qualify women in order to categorize them. Of course, he could simply be a jerk. Or a social incompetent.
- Does he cut you away from the crowd? Sigmas aren't herd animals and will always prefer a quiet conversation of two to group banter. If you're looking for a Sigma and you sense the man with whom you're talking is separating you from everyone else, you may be in luck. Or he may just be a serial killer.
- Do others look to him for leadership? And does he provide it or does he shy away from it? If the latter, you may have struck sigmatic gold.
- Does he make you feel that if you don't take your pants off, he might just go ahead and do it himself without bothering to ask you? And do you find it worrisome that somehow, that doesn't seem to upset you the way you know it is supposed to? You may have found the type of introvert you seek.
- Does he engage you in conversation/flirt with you/have sex with you without even asking your name? Probably Sigma.
Those who are glaring at people, nursing drinks, and mumbling to themselves are the Gammas. The one who is simply watching with a slightly arrogant smile on his face is the Sigma.