Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Caveat amator

You should probably keep this in mind when you're wondering how weak your woman's commitment to honesty runs.  The good news is that her Facebook posts offer a fairly reliable clue to her likely trustworthiness in other matters:
Researchers found that at least one in four women exaggerated or distorted what they are doing on social media once a month. The survey of 2000 women found they mostly pretended to be out on the town, when in fact they are home alone, and embellished about an exotic holiday or their job.

The most common reasons for women to write “fibs” included worrying their lives would seem “boring”, jealousy at seeing other people’s more exciting posts and wanting to impress their friends and acquaintances.... Almost one in five women even lied about their “relationship status”.
Another form of female dishonesty is the "See what a great time we're having" photo. It's Life as Performance Art.  And how meaningful is it to declare "I love my life" when you're actually saying "I love my fantasy life"?

It's about as convincing as Jon Lovitz talking about his wife, Morgan Fairchild, who he has seen naked.

55 comments:

Old Harry said...

Yeah, that's the ticket.

mmaier2112 said...

I don't care if they post pics of themselves out drinking with friends.

"Wow! You have friends and can drink? I'm impressed!"

But the fake smiles annoy me the most. Silly females posing with fake smiles with their (probably fake) friends.

That and when they make a big deal about getting those pics taken in public. That annoys too. Candid pics are almost always better.

Doom said...

Find a woman who never, ever, fibs and then check that she can talk/communicate. Robots need not apply. Bring her to me and I will introduce a woman who just lied really well. Even when they don't need to fib, due to historic realities, they will do so just to keep in practice for when they DO need, or feel the need, to lie.

I love puzzling through what a woman is telling me, like a whale goes through ocean water looking for krill. I look for lies, using the ones I can right away, storing the others or all of them in a sort of fat for later use. Not in competition, just... little digs when I need a leg up. Women, as with humor... it's all about timing.

Just because they tell lies more often, they aren't particularly good at it. Most just expect to be believed 'cause they are purty. Then act like you are immature when you see right through it and blow off their purtiness. You aren't playing the game right!, they seem to say. They do believe each other's lies, live in a world of it, to one degree or another. If that doesn't mean they are stupid or gullible, completely, always, either. Like liberals, they just often live in a world of what-ifs and could-bes, with some hope that it might come true.

Johnycomelately said...

Makes me feel good about myself watching the soccer, eating pizzas and drinking scotch.

Damn Krauts, the Gunners almost made the great escape.

Loki of Asgard said...

Your political sphere was damaged by the entry of women into it. Before them, the lies were much more convincing. Men are much, much better at lying than women are.

Women ruin everything, even dishonesty.

OGRE said...

I'm so proud that I visit a blog where I knew that the first response to this post was going to be "Yeah, thats the ticket..."

taterearl said...

Nothing tells me more of a person living a boring life than having to convince the world how great their life is...or how much drama they don't want to have anymore.

On the flip side there is the constant...if it wasn't for this problem my life would be great or whatever lie they have to tell themselves that an obese, drunk, and promiscuous life isn't their fault. Facebook to me is nothing more than a female emotional circle jerk.

z-d said...

@Johnycomelately
Second year in a row they got eliminated after a comeback after a terrible first leg.

Cail Corishev said...

From my list of prospective wife deal-breakers:

She will not have a social media account of her own. (If she had one before, she cancels it.) We may have a family account that she can use, but not one of her own that I would have to supervise separately.

We have more than enough evidence that giving a woman her own social media account is like giving her a million dollars and sending her on a month-long bachelorette party on a cruise ship manned by horny sailors.

Giraffe said...

Another form of female dishonesty is the "See what a great time we're having" photo.

The most common form of this that I see is the single mommies posting how great life is.

Something else I've noticed is the syrupy praise some women give for their men. One today was so happy that her husband got promoted to full time employment from part time. I remember some time back she was happy that he had passed a couple years sober.

Anyway, I'm left thinking these women are trying convince themselves.

Josh said...

From my list of prospective wife deal-breakers:
She will not have a social media account of her own. (If she had one before, she cancels it.) We may have a family account that she can use, but not one of her own that I would have to supervise separately.


That strikes me as overcompensating BETA behavior. If you feel a need to supervise her Facebook usage, you should probably find someone else.

A Lady not a Woman said...

This article is a good demonstration why I have such a hard time with men. I don't lie. I never have because the truth ALWAYS comes out. But men assume that they have to "interpret" what I say. I also don't have any social media accounts.

This blog has helped me a lot. I really didn't realize how foul most women are: how mean, how nasty, how deceptive, how silly, etc. I'm now much more tolerant of men who constantly question my motives and don't take me at face value.

SarahsDaughter said...

A Lady,

Never? You've never lied? Or should what you said be interpreted as you're not in the habit of lying?

Cail Corishev said...

Josh,

The point isn't that I need to supervise her; it's that she needs supervision. Any "she," not just a particular one, so finding another isn't the point.

Rollo has made the great point that a smart-phone, equipped as it is with constant access to social media, is a never-ending smorgasbord of dick. Every time she logs in, if her picture is halfway attractive, she gets offers of dick -- most not that blunt, but some are. She's simply not equipped to handle that. (To be fair, most men probably aren't either. How long would the average husband be faithful if every time he logged into Facebook he had three messages from women asking him what he's doing after work? Fortunately, it doesn't work that way for men.) Even if she turns down all the offers, their existence, and the general way that men fawn all over any halfway attractive woman online, still inflates her ego beyond reason.

"Social media is poison for the female soul." That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm starting to wonder.

Nate said...

"She will not have a social media account of her own. (If she had one before, she cancels it.) We may have a family account that she can use, but not one of her own that I would have to supervise separately."

This is a terrible... terrible idea.

Regardless of how you think it looks or why you are actually doing it.. the female involved will see it as insecurity and weakness on your part.

You know what happens when they see you as weak and insecure?

Seriously.. best of luck... you're gonna need it.

taterearl said...

Cail is right...

Women are black holes when it comes to everything including compliments, offers, memories, feelings, experiences...they all get lodged into her psyche. The less she has the more innocent she is.

Besides no man...not even the highest echelon alphas can compete with the feeling a camera gives an attractive woman. I've seen gals as young as 2 or 3 know how to pose for a camera already.

A Lady not a Woman said...

@SarahsDaughter,

As a child, my parents stressed being trustworthy. Trustworthy people don't lie, thus I was punished for lying more severely than anything else. If I broke a rule, the punishment was much less if I told the truth versus if I lied and got caught in that lie.

As a teenager, my friends never went out with me when boys were involved because I refused to lie about my age. In college, when friends asked my opinion/thoughts, I told them exactly that. I ended up gaining a reputation for being a bitch because I didn't say what people wanted to hear. When I cheated on a boyfriend, I told him and left it up to him what he wanted to do about it. Even now with men, if a man asks my number, I tell him. There is nothing that I have ever done or that I think/believe in that I'm unwilling to admit to. I truly and honestly don't believe in lying. As my parents taught me, trustworthy people don't lie.

If faced with a situation where I know someone wants to hear something other than the truth, I ask them if they are sure they want to hear what I have to say because they may not like it. Most times, I just steer clear of conversations/situations where I know I'll have to deal with less than honesty.

So it may be a stretch to say I never lied, but not much of one as I stopped lying at a very young age. And trust me, truth-telling does not go over well in school. I received many a punishment from teachers for being impertinent.

Anonymous said...

Off topic. Someone at avoiceformen wrote this:

"I would say that for several decades now, the entire Humanities department has abandoned it’s original mandate which was the disinterested pursuit of knowledge via scholarship, and has been entirely hijacked by the likes of Antonio Gramsci, Jacque Derrida, and others who advocate ‘critical theory’, post-structuralism, and deconstructionism.

In other words, it is an attempt to understand writers like Joyce and Hemingway and to find meaning that the writers themselves didn’t even intend."

It struck me that this is solipism.

Josh said...

The point isn't that I need to supervise her; it's that she needs supervision. Any "she," not just a particular one, so finding another isn't the point.

That mindset, in game terms, is a giant DLV.

"omg my girl is going to leave me because guys are messaging her on Facebook!"

Maybe it's not Facebook...it's you...

taterearl said...

"That mindset, in game terms, is a giant DLV."

In reality...it's a prudent idea. The less guys that see her...the less offers she will have. The internet is a big game changer. You better be sure you have enough masculinity that she will be able to ward off all the offers. It only takes one guy.

Back in the day she would have been seen only by guys walking by and most wouldn't have the stones to say anything to her...in this day and age any internet stalker can see her photo and make a pass.

Josh said...

You better be sure you have enough masculinity that she will be able to ward off all the offers.

In other words, don't be a giant pussy. And all this fretting about Facebook or twitter accounts is something a giant pussy does because he's afraid she's going to leave him. So, rather than preventing her from leaving, any attempt to "supervise" her social media increases the odds she leaves, because, as Nate said, she now sees him as a giant pussy.

Cail Corishev said...

Regardless of how you think it looks or why you are actually doing it.. the female involved will see it as insecurity and weakness on your part.

As with everything, it depends on your frame when you do it. Yes, if you're doing it from a sense of insecurity, she will smell that and attack it, and you're toast. But if she sees you as alpha, your demands will be alpha, and she'll happily go along with them.

An alpha-enough guy can tell his woman to drive him to the bank to rob it, and she'll do it. A beta guy can ask his woman to give him a ride to the bank so he can deposit a check, and she'll refuse or nag him about why he didn't mail it.

Thing is, I really don't care whether she likes the idea or not (which is kind of the point). It's non-negotiable. If she won't do that, I'll know she's not serious about marriage (you know, that whole "obey" part), and I'll be glad to move on. Consider it a test she has to pass.

Social media is poison for her. I wouldn't let her eat physical poison, so why would I let her ingest mental and emotional poison every day?

Loki of Asgard said...

When I cheated on a boyfriend, I told him and left it up to him what he wanted to do about it.

I cannot fathom why people think you a bitch.

Loki of Asgard said...

In reality...it's a prudent idea. The less guys that see her...the less offers she will have.

The best way to keep your woman faithful is to chain her to the wall of your cellar.

Josh said...

Social media is poison for her. I wouldn't let her eat physical poison, so why would I let her ingest mental and emotional poison every day?

Ah yes, recipes, workouts, and corgi pictures on pinterest is so poisonous! Likewise with her friends' engagement, wedding, and baby pictures on Facebook. How ever is her tender innocence to be preserved in the face of such monstrous perversions?

Josh said...

Thing is, I really don't care whether she likes the idea or not (which is kind of the point). It's non-negotiable. If she won't do that, I'll know she's not serious about marriage (you know, that whole "obey" part), and I'll be glad to move on. Consider it a test she has to pass.

That seems like a very peculiar hill to die on. Unless you have an extensive list of things that are non-negotiable.

Wendy said...

That seems like a very peculiar hill to die on. Unless you have an extensive list of things that are non-negotiable.

Yup. I have to think no working outside the home would be on the list since it's a whole lot easier to mess about with someone from work than some random guy on Facebook. And yeah, those recipes, baby pictures, and memes are so destructive. Especially those puppy pictures. Pure evil there.

Josh said...

Especially those puppy pictures. Pure evil there.

Corgies are the devil

Nate said...

"As with everything, it depends on your frame when you do it. Yes, if you're doing it from a sense of insecurity, she will smell that and attack it, and you're toast. But if she sees you as alpha, your demands will be alpha, and she'll happily go along with them."

Wrong.

Alphas don't worry about shit like this... and chicks know it. My wife cheating on me has literally never crossed my mind.

"keeping her from temptation" is the kind of shit deltas who are trying to outkick their coverage think sounds good. 7s trying to land 10s worry about the 10 realizing she could do better.

10's landing 10s don't worry about that shit at all.

Seriously friend... You have no idea how this works.

Loki of Asgard said...

Unless you have an extensive list of things that are non-negotiable.

Almost as long as the average woman's list, no doubt.

And yeah, those recipes, baby pictures, and memes are so destructive. Especially those puppy pictures. Pure evil there.

The intersection of pictures of children, cats, and memes is the <a href="https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/1771838208/h7FC8504A/>realm of the greatest evil the cosmos has ever known</a>.

Because I am what I am, I feel compelled to expose you to it.

Josh said...

"keeping her from temptation" is the kind of shit deltas who are trying to outkick their coverage think sounds good. 7s trying to land 10s worry about the 10 realizing she could do better.

It also reveals that they're still putting her on a pedestal. "I can't believe I got her to go out/have sex/move in/marry me! I hope she doesn't realize she could do better!"

Loki of Asgard said...

Blast this keyboard seven ways from Sunday. It has failed me and shall be forthwith destroyed.

Your link, Madam Wendy.

Stickwick said...

The best way to keep your woman faithful is to chain her to the wall of your cellar.

If you don't have a cellar, an attic will suffice. Although, there's something about damsels imprisoned in high places that inspires heroes to rescue them, so maybe that's not such a good idea.

Josh said...

If you're going to chain her anywhere, chain her to the kitchen.

A Lady not a Woman said...

@Loki

I cannot fathom why people think you a bitch.

One has nothing to do with the other; I'm not friends with guys. In that instance my girlfriends, thought I was an idiot because he never would have known if I hadn't told him. And the reason I did was because of the trustworthiness thing I was discussing. I made a mistake but I didn't pretend it didn't happen.

In my defense, I was very young and immature and he was my very first boyfriend. He started talking marriage and I panicked.

SarahsDaughter said...

A Lady,

You're full of irony today. And I have an idea the guys are doing quite a bit of interpreting...

A Lady not a Woman said...

@SarahsDaughter,

I cheated once and never did it again. And I stand by my at a very young age. But this is why I have the issues I have. I admit to my mistakes rather than pretend they didn't happen. I don't sugar coat, but still I'm presumed to be a liar.

I feel it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

Sincere q: Should I just pretend the past never happened? That I never slipped in the past?

And you calling me full of irony highlights my point exactly. I admit to faults and get skull-dragged. Truth is never pretty. But as I said, I have no problems with who I am.

SarahsDaughter said...

No, no, you're missing the point. You said in your first comment men assume they have to interpret what you say. Then you proved this to be true by stating that you never lie. Then you spoke about cheating in the same breath as being trustworthy. See what I'm saying?

The challenge I see you're having is not necessarily in truth telling but in personal responsibility. Do you really think anyone reading here is interested in excusing cheating no matter the justification?

That's what readers of these blogs understand. Women do not take responsibility for what they do. They rationalize and justify in lieu of saying: "I am guilty. I behaved untrustworthy. It is right that men assume a woman to be a liar and untrustworthy, I have proven this to be true. I want to excuse my behavior but that is dishonest. Cheating is inexcusable. I wronged my first boyfriend who trusted me. It is my fault."

SarahsDaughter said...

You also seem prone to a bit of over exaggeration something else that is common with women.

Having ironic comments pointed out = skull-dragged?

Best to reserve skull-dragged as a description for when you really get told a mouthful.

This isn't about you personally, though I know solipsism is extremely hard to avoid. This is about the true nature of women. What we have seen here is you are truly are a woman (see...more irony).


Josh said...

Not all women are like this! I'm a snowflake, because I never lie. I did cheat on a boyfriend, though. But that's not lying!

taterearl said...

I wonder who let all the straw men in here.

A Lady not a Woman said...

@SarahsDaughter,

Fair enough. I got defensive. I agree with everything but the bolded:

"I am guilty. I behaved untrustworthy. It is right that men assume a woman to be a liar and untrustworthy, I have proven this to be true. I want to excuse my behavior but that is dishonest. Cheating is inexcusable. I wronged my first boyfriend who trusted me. It is my fault."

Extrapolating to the entire population of women based on the behavior of one is wrong. In my personal case (solipsism), it is wrong to assume that because I cheated one time I am untrustworthy all the time, since I did own that behavior and have never repeated it. Also, I don't equate cheating with lying, they are two different behaviors. Both untrustworthy but different. Sometimes cheating can be forgiven, lying never can.

A Lady not a Woman said...

@SarahsDaughter,

Skull-dragged happens to be a favorite word that I rarely get to use in a sentence. I was aware of the hyperbole.

Josh said...

Also, I don't equate cheating with lying, they are two different behaviors. Both untrustworthy but different. Sometimes cheating can be forgiven, lying never can.

That is award winning hamstering right there.

SarahsDaughter said...

Extrapolating to the entire population of women based on the behavior of one is wrong.

That's hardly what is happening. The extrapolating to the entire population is based on the repeated observable evidence of the entire population. Men would be crazy to think NAWALT.

Look at what Doom said:
Find a woman who never, ever, fibs and then check that she can talk/communicate. Robots need not apply. Bring her to me and I will introduce a woman who just lied really well. Even when they don't need to fib, due to historic realities, they will do so just to keep in practice for when they DO need, or feel the need, to lie.

Then a woman comments saying she does not lie, never has, and proceeds to tell of her past lies (yes dear, cheating IS lying).

It's okay. It's one of our flaws. Men do need to interpret what we say, they do need to sift through lies, rationalizations, justifications, solipsism, and hyperbole.

Now, we, as women, need to work on changing these behaviors as well but there is no need to deny that men absolutely must recognize the negative nature of women and learn how to deal best with it.

Loki of Asgard said...

So, Sarah's Daughter, do you truly and honestly mean to say that women are only human?

It cannot be! Horrors!

Loki of Asgard said...

In my personal case (solipsism), it is wrong to assume that because I cheated one time I am untrustworthy all the time, since I did own that behavior and have never repeated it.

...At this moment.

I crave Sigyn's indulgence for that.

Nate said...

"Also, I don't equate cheating with lying, they are two different behaviors. Both untrustworthy but different. Sometimes cheating can be forgiven, lying never can."

The Stupid is Massive.

Dear... knowing when to lie is an essential part of any great marriage. Another essential part is knowing when to accept that your partner is lying for your own good.

SarahsDaughter said...

So, Sarah's Daughter, do you truly and honestly mean to say that women are only human?

The herd has voted, I've been banished for my treachery.

Sigyn said...

I crave Sigyn's indulgence for that.

You crave me to indulge you a lot.

Not that I mind. I'm just sayin', my lord.

taterearl said...

"Also, I don't equate cheating with lying, they are two different behaviors."

I don't consider them equal either. One is bearing false witness with words...the other is bearing false witness with actions. I call that betrayal...which is way worse.

Desert Cat said...

This seems like an appropriate time to share this:
Spirit in the Sky

"I'm not a sinner,
I never sinned,
I got a friend in Jesus."

Cail Corishev said...

I wonder who let all the straw men in here.

I'm thinking Vox's post got linked from Feministing or Focus on the Family. No way to tell which.

Sarah said...

"It cannot be! Horrors!"

Especially for you, eh, Loki?

Michael Maier said...

Sigyn... thank you. I needed that LOL.

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