Friday, February 22, 2013

A heartwarming tale

Dalrock's gentlemanly heart bleeds for one poor victim of insufficient "chivalry":
Somewhere in the world a woman is upset!  What are you as lazy men doing to fix this?

Sorry for being so harsh, but you men need to hear this.  I know I do.  For example, just the other day I was reading about a woman in London who was victimized by modern men’s useless laziness.  The article was titled Is there a man left under 40 who isn’t a rude, ignorant pig?  I don’t know about you but the title alone really hit home.  Now that I think about it, I really am a rude ignorant pig!  Why didn’t I even notice?  The author of the article is an incredible woman.  She is as sassy, strong, and independent as they come;  yet even she finds that men are letting her down.

Some time back she was doing her own strong and independent thing (I’m guessing on her way to a power meeting or preparing to write another article decrying traditional gender roles in marriage), when out of the blue her car thingy stopped working;  I think she said it was the doohickey or something.  Anyway, here she is, a strong independent woman, but this car thingy has made her upset!

    They could see my distress when I began ­peering under the bonnet.

Some of you men (I hate to use the term so loosely) need a remedial lesson in chivalry, so for those who need it spelled out a woman becoming upset is the universal signal that you need to swing into action right away.  Don’t feel too bad if you didn’t know this, because there were men right there on the scene who either didn’t know or shirked their obligation:

    Next to me was a building site full of men in fluoro ­jackets standing doing ­nothing.

I shouldn’t have to reiterate that she was upset while these men in flouro jackets were doing nothing.  This baffling inaction by London’s men left our heroine to take extreme measures, as she was reduced to calling for professional assistance:

    I got back in the car, and on my mobile phone to call the BMW breakdown ­service to get the vehicle recovered. I was in tears. Still no one ­bothered to help.

Thats right, she was in tears, yet those shameful men left her to the fate of calling BMW for service!
I have to admit, I am encouraged by the behavior of the modern Englishman with regards to the more equal sex.  Once, there was a day when men would have descended en masse and all but battled for the right to be of assistance to the strong, independent woman in distress.  These days, the younger generation doesn't even blink when it sees a woman in tears and acting up in a desperate attempt to get someone to solve her problem for her.  It is downright inspirational!

However, it's really not enough to simply ignore the more equal and, as we are informed by the British Prime Minister, the more talented, when they are reduced to a frantic puddle over the baffling task of dealing with an inoperative internal combustion engine.  In such cases, I should think that duty really demands pointing and laughing.

The Code of Modern Chivalry
  1. I neither recognize nor serve the female imperative.
  2. I will rigorously respect all female claims to equality and refrain from treating them any differently from a man in any way, shape, or form.
  3. In the event I encounter a strong and independent woman crying in public, I will not conceal my amusement.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am female and English. When I read this, I thought, I bet that's Liz Jones. Sure enough when I checked it is indeed Liz Jones, the UK's most demented columnist, who has spent years complaining about her divorce over and over again. There are websites dedicated to parodying her. I am not surprised that the men on the building site ignored her - they should have removed her wheels.

GAHCindy said...

What's funny is that if she'd acted like a grown-up instead of crying, and tried to solve her own problem, some nice man probably would have stopped to see if he could help. People really are nice. They just don't want to get involved in emotional situations. I've noticed that it's always the vocally strong and independent women who are wondering where all the men are. I have no trouble finding any at all when I need some heavy stuff carried. Lacking any stunning good looks to explain it, I have to assume that this is because I'm not obnoxiously expecting help, but rather trying to help myself in a puny and pathetic manner that just inspires sympathy in decent people. ;-)

tz said...

Apparently, sometimes fish need bicycles.

tz said...

The current Prime Minister - was he referring to Lady Thatcher?

herenvardo said...

"They could see my distress when I began ­peering under the bonnet."

No, Doris - they could see your arse when you began pee(r)ing under the bonnet. Who wants to spoil the view?

herenvardo said...

Oh, and it serves you right for driving a BMW.

David said...

Equality, meet reality.

"It's not faaaaaairrrrrr!"

But it's what you demanded, sued for, bitched about, and cried over for years, is it not? To be respected like a man and to do everything we do? Have fun!

(23 y.o., male)

taterearl said...

There are no atheists in foxholes.

There are no feminists when SHTF.

Will Best said...

#3 is inconsistent with #2. If I saw a man crying on the street and he wasn't visibly wounded or in proximity to a dead body, I would show contempt if I wasn't trying to ignore such a specimen.

Joe Blow said...

The columnist seems to think "chivalry" is the French spelling of "Shit on me."

That's the only explanation I can think of, for why a man would want to deal with a woman who thinks all men suck, but then wants all random men to be on call just in case she gets into a jam.

finndistan said...

"I will rigorously respect all female claims to equality and refrain from treating them any differently from a man in any way, shape, or form."

This will fire up any strong and independent woman into a flaming demon of femle power, especially if she has been talking about ekwalitee, femmie wights, seksizm, being stwong and independent (sound effects match the way I heard these words being spoken) for the last hour.

You agree to all she has been saying in the last hour, but now she loudly proclaims you of being a misogynistic asshole...

Funny things strong and independent females are.

p.s. Can someone come up with a totally cocky answer using the miso soup?

Denton said...

Chivalry was a system: she wanted out of the system so too bad. Exchanges work that way.

Trust said...

A woman expecting to be treated like a lady without acting like one, while expecting men to act like a gentleman without being treated like one.

It's not hard to figure out why men don't behave around feminists the way they behave around feminine women.

Daniel said...

Don't paint with such a broad brush guys. She was driving a Bimmer and was shocked to discover that it was capable of breakdown. That's a special kind of brain she's got under her own bonnet, not just a run-of-the-mill womanly one.

I'm giving her a pass: she shows obvious signs of brain damage.

Karen said...

It's a shame her father and/or husband (if she has one) hasn't taught her some basic car repairs and maintenance. My dad and later my husband taught me at the very least how to check various fluid levels, replace them, change a flat, what to do if the engine runs hot, etc. That has served me well when I am out and about and something goes wrong as I, and they, prefer me not to be stranded or at the mercy of a stranger.

With that being said, there rarely been a time I've had the hood up in a public area, like a parking lot, that a man or group of men have not approached and helped me. Even if I have some idea of what I'm doing, I defer to those kind men as I have no doubt they know far better than I do and I appreciate anyone who will offer to help a stranger. The one time I had to change my flat and put on the spare, I was thrilled that a man did happen by at the very end, checked my work, and tightened up the lugnuts (or whatever they're called) because I knew I probably hadn't got them on as tight as they needed to be.

Guess that's perks of living in the American South.

Wendy said...

Exactly what were all those guys supposed to do? Magically fix her car? Poor thing had to call road assistance! I'd point and laugh too. I'd be sympathetic if she was really stranded like the old days. She's had it too easy...

And it never crossed her mind that attention from a bunch of men one doesn't know is not always a good thing.

Karen's post, reminded of the time I had Goodyear change the oil on my car and asked if I could watch so I could do it myself. They offered me a job. I already had three, so it didn't work out though.

Anonymous said...

What could a man do for her? Cars are computerized now. Those guys probably couldn't have done a thing for her. She complains about the man on the elevator. I may be incorrect but the man proceeds before the woman getting on and off an elevator in case of malfunction. The man also goes before the woman on an down escalator in case she stumbles and falls. He is there to break her fall.

Mr. Manners

Anonymous said...

Read the original over at Dalrock's - I was wondering when she was going to describe the actions of the strong independant women who were in the Flo-Jacket crowd or driving by - those strong independant women should have stopped to help her because it was OBVIOUS that she needed the help of those strong independant women.

Or the women who asked the computer toting shreeker if she needed help. Where are all of those descriptions? She did not seem distraught that strong independant women did not help her.

ray said...

"I got back in the car, and on my mobile phone to call the BMW breakdown ­service to get the vehicle recovered. I was in tears. Still no one ­bothered to help."


none of those Useless Males wiped her ass that morning either . . . yet no man was even arrested for his lack of obedience!

course if he'd wiped her, that'd be sexual assault

i tell you, civilization's gone to hell in a grain-basket!

western nations teem with these BMW snowflakes, having built their Perfect Protection Princesslands

they need to be brought back down to earth, with a crash, to take the smugness off their faces forever

Anonymous said...

how many feminists does it take to change a wheel?????????????????????
None- they are no where to be found when you get a puncture

Anonymous said...

HuffPo: Raising a Son Within the Princess Culture
...ut here is what I sadly realized: Within modern girl power, there seems to be a message that girls are better than boys. Boys are BAD. Boys are MEAN. Boys are silly, weak, stupid, clueless, rough.

There are also a lot of double standards when it comes to proclaiming, "girls can do anything!" I have seen parents celebrate that their daughters play with trucks or pick out boxers as underpants. Look! See! Nothing holding this girl back!

This sort of celebration does not happen when a boy picks up a doll or Dora undies.

The modern princess culture seems to be that you can wear a pink dress and still climb a tree. You can love to dance and twirl and still play baseball. You can wear a crown and overalls. I think this message is fine. And I agree with it. Kids -- you can do it all!

Except the point isn't "kids, you can do it all," it is GIRLS can...

Anonymous said...

concerning elevators. . .

i think a man should always let a woman off the elevator first.

in this manner, he can get a good look at her @ss to see if she's worth pursuing.

I'm just sayin' . . .

frenchy

NateM said...

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2010/11/25/15-minute-writing-exercise-closes-the-gender-gap-in-university-level-physics/#.USgaTfLF2nE

What. the Flipping. Fuck.

kh123 said...

Remember you linked to this article awhile ago on another post, or commented on it at the least.

The fact that she thinks any man can repair German engineering at the drop of a hat is indeed amusing. I'm sure their forefathers repelling said-Germans over British airspace means just about as much to her.

mmaier2112 said...

NateM: don't worry, us pigs can put those bitches back in their place with just the power of our Super Glare:

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2010/01/12/how-objectification-silences-women-the-male-glance-as-a-psychological-muzzle/#.USgpnVfwli0

Anonymous said...

No one should approach a BMW regardless of their gender. Any expensive car is unfixable by ordinary men and needs assistance from a technician.

Which leads to the strange demand that this woman wants a "man" to help her. She called it in yet she still wants attention. Yes, she is having an emotional breakdown. This is less about chivalry than her own feigned helplessness. She wants someone to care. She is afraid of being abandoned as an unwanted child.

Lets not make this yet another battle of the sexes as she described in the aftermath. She is a little lost lamb.

Jimmy

Anonymous said...

Too bad so sad. Time to go be strong and independent.

Anonymous said...

"It's a shame her father and/or husband (if she has one) hasn't taught her some basic car repairs and maintenance."

How many useful skills do you think my mother or girlfriends taught me? I'm delighted this man-hating bitch spent her life shitting on men and masculinity and therefore never learned any of those "useless" dirty masculine car repair or maintenance tricks.

In the words of Maureen Dowd, "Men are unnecessary....OMG WHY WON'T MY CAR START!? I'm just a poor widdle wummun, WHY WON'T ANY OF YOU USELESS PIGS HEEEEEELLLLLLP MEEEEEE!?!?!? *sniffle* *tear* *bawl*"



video game site said...

She just realized that her beauty is fading and that's what upset her so badly

Ecclesiastes said...

I wrote this a few years ago (2005?). This might help.

Being yet an honorable man, I will confirm your charge that I am killing chivalry.

I consider it a bad habit in myself and I have counseled my sons against picking it up.

I still believe that all of its elements are good ideals and to be followed to the best of one's ability. All of one's acts, great and small, are where our moral constitution's rubber meets the road. It is also where the road meets the rubber and that road's true condition cannot be wished away.

You claim that feminism doesn't teach the disrespect of men and that women will abide strong male leadership. Whom am I to believe? You or my lying eyes? You even blatantly twist an undeniable truth of the treatment of men in the common media into a whining complaint that your strawman abases himself with.

I spent my formative adolescent years in residence at a strict honor code institution. Here is your lesson in advanced honor.

Honor is a precious and fragile thing that can only exist and operate among those who prize and swear themselves to it. It obligates one to idealistic acts regardless of one's personal interests. However, its duties are easily manipulated by the unscrupulous, obligating one to his own and even honor itself's own destruction. Therefore, honor is not owed where honor is not offered. Honor is never obligated to do evil.

As honor is protected by rejecting the claims of those who are not sworn to it, so must chivalry be protected.

Worse still than women's rejection of men's chivalry is their utter rejection even to decided ignorance of their own obligations: poise, gentleness, honesty, fidelity, charity, humility, and, yes, chastity.

Only to such a lady do I OWE chivalry. To the rest it is an un-earned a favor that I give or not at my choosing. It is a matter of my integrity, not my duty.

Despite your enthusiasm and personal dedication, you are a dilettante who would guide good men down a road of woe and waste. Think twice and look carefully for the road that matches the gentleman's constitution. The other rough and rutted one respects only the iron strapped wheel.

Anonymous said...

The fact is, if it was a man with the "bonnet" up, chances are, those men would have at least approached and stood around doing nothing staring at the engine.

Ecclesiastes said...

The fact is, if it was a man with the "bonnet" up, chances are, those men would have been confident that - upon approaching - that the motorist wasn't going to call the cops for stalking, menacing, harassment, or attempted rape.

Ladies had poise. Women don't. She's already crying, and has a platoon of armed men on speed dial.

Greddy said...

"The fact is, if it was a man with the "bonnet" up, chances are, those men would have at least approached and stood around doing nothing staring at the engine. "

Actually, some would have come around to offer help, some would have come around to see what a BMW looks like under the hood and some would have come around hoping to learn something from the others that might have known a thing or two. Men, are naturally curious and like to pick up useful information when we can.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, how do you begin to comment on someone who is so far removed from the consequences of her actions?

That's the real truth.....Feminism is nothing but the separation of consequences from your own imbecilic actions.

If women had to bear the COST & CONSEQUENCES of ALL that they have done in the past 60 years, they would not be such incredulous bitches.

It is only because of the state sponsored foisting of COST & CONSEQUENCES onto the nearest evil male that they are allowed to behave in such a reprehensible manner.

Duke of Earl said...

To disagree with Jimmy, a BMW is just a car. It runs on the same things that any car runs on, fuel, air, spark.

The most obvious thing of course is, do you have fuel in your tank? It's surprising the number of people who run out. I fill up when the tank reaches quarter, and never run on reserve.

Sure, there is less ability to rebuild a fuel injection system on the side of the road than a carburettor, but against that EFI goes wrong less often.

If you have fuel flow, easily checked by loosening the fuel line downstream of the filter (then tighten it up fast) then do a quick visual inspection of your vacuum hoses. Once time my Audi stopped and I found that a line to the idle control had slipped off. Jammed it on tight and it hasn't given trouble since.

Europeans seem to use large air filters, so they take a long time to clog enough to give trouble. K&N filters never need replacement, don't clog (from the advertisements they flow better covered with an inch of Baja dust than a clean paper filter) and just require a clean and re-oil periodically. Never run without an air filter. Any minor power gains will quickly be wiped out by increased engine wear.

If you don't have fuel it's probably the fuel pump, that is a replacement job, but again easily doable at home (with a lot of time on your hands).

High energy ignition systems will keep firing long after the old points system will have packed it in, but even then if your plugs are about 70,000km over replacement time *cough* they will need to be replaced. Funnily enough, the car will run better after that.

So basically, fuel, hoses, plugs, filter. The same things they've always been.

Of course there are other things, like ignition switches and the like, but generally those won't be the things that fail and leave you on the side of the road.

Karen said...

Anonymous said...
"It's a shame her father and/or husband (if she has one) hasn't taught her some basic car repairs and maintenance."

How many useful skills do you think my mother or girlfriends taught me? I'm delighted this man-hating bitch spent her life shitting on men and masculinity and therefore never learned any of those "useless" dirty masculine car repair or maintenance tricks.

In the words of Maureen Dowd, "Men are unnecessary....OMG WHY WON'T MY CAR START!? I'm just a poor widdle wummun, WHY WON'T ANY OF YOU USELESS PIGS HEEEEEELLLLLLP MEEEEEE!?!?!? *sniffle* *tear* *bawl*"

My intention wasn't to express compassion for this ridiculous woman, but to express gratitude for the men in my life who taught me stuff. I swear, for men, car knowledge seems like it's inborn. Whether I asked for their help or they insisted I learn, I'm grateful I can change a flat or work a set of jumper cables if the need arises. If help arrives, I'm very happy to defer to a man because they generally know far more than I do about car trouble. And sure, with roadside assistance and cell phones, it may not be as big a deal now as when I was a teen, but I'd still rather not wait on the side of a road for an hour waiting if I can handle it myself. It seems more like a basic life skill than trying to be a 'strong independent woman.'

It's not much different than when I taught my stepson some basic cooking and laundry skills over a few weekends he was with us. Those may be traditionally 'feminine' tasks, but he will undoubtedly need to fend for himself as an adult from time to time.

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