Age is just a number... except when it comes to marriage.I know, I'm absolutely shocked too. Because she couldn't stay married, NO ONE ELSE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED WHEN SHE DID!
Let's look at my stats:
Current age - 29
Divorced for - 8 months
Separated for - 1 year, 9 months
Age when I met my ex - 19
Age when I married - 24
Which brings me to my point: couples should not be allowed to get married before age 25.
Let's hope she doesn't get fat eating chocolate ice cream while she cries lonely tears or her next column will be called "Why I Believe Eating Chocolate Ice Cream Shouldn't Be Allowed After 29". Soon to be followed by "Why I Believe Making Cow Noises At Fat Women Shouldn't Be Allowed Because It Hurts Their Feelings" and "Why I Believe Restaurants Shouldn't Be Allowed To Serve Food That Tempts Me To Eat It."
Let's say that her numbers are correct. 60 percent of couples who marry between 20 and 25 are destined for divorce versus 50 percent of all couples. So, we're to conclude that avoiding 20 percent additional statistical risk is worth all of the social costs that will accrue from pushing the average age of marriage up even higher?
I am increasingly convinced that solipsism is a high-functioning form of insanity. I mean, it's less connected to objective reality than average homeless guy babbling about how the fish killed JFK.
37 comments:
"Why I believe owning cats shouldn't be allowed before 29."
"Why I believe you should own at least 2 cats per 10 years of age after 30."
"Why I believe men are pigs."
Then we get intimate details about how she put out for any tingle she felt.
"Why I believe batteries should be free after 29"
Female solipsism is somewhat anti-freedom...
Just think if guys could post their solipsistic thoughts without scrutiny.
"Why I believe I should be in every pretty girl's vagina."
"Why I believe silence is the best gift a woman can give."
"Why I should keep the money I earned by working for it."
"Why I believe silence is the best gift a woman can give."
"Why I should keep the money I earned by working for it."
Yeah, but these two actually make sense.
"Yeah, but these two actually make sense."
Common sense is often the nemesis of womyn.
"People under the age of 25 are still discovering themselves; they are figuring out what is most important in their lives. They are discovering the joys (and heartache) of being in a relationship, and then the partying that often characterizes life between relationships."
Here is the real reason for the divorce. She was too into the drama and the partying. She didn't want to be a grown up and be responsible for her marriage.
I think it's important to note that 100% of people who never marry, never get divorced. Out of 100% of people who get divorced immaturity and selfishness played a big role. Maybe if she had focused more on being a grown up, her marriage might have worked out.
The five year courtship/engagement was the issue.
"I do believe that it would be for the best -- better both for the institution of marriage and the individuals getting married -- if we could change the law to prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25."
Because you're an idiot, we should change the laws. Women should not vote. Women should not be legislators.
Funny how her concerns for the institution of marriage did not deter her from blowing her own marriage up. She must have been unhaaapy. Poor dear.
"Just think if guys could post their solipsistic thoughts without scrutiny."
Good point. Women need to be held accountable for their emotions. Since encountering the reality of my own solipsism,(thanks to the manosphere) I've been paying closer attention to my reactions and monitoring what comes out of my mouth, in addition to reactions of other women around me. All I can say is wow, we've run amuck.
I don't remember if it was decided that solipsism was a feature or a bug but it seems to be innate in me. I've asked my husband to help hold me accountable. From my observations female solipsism is not insanity, but like anything that is allowed to run uncheck it is out of control.
After the last post "How to be forever young," and this one, it seems finding someone who is of a practical, responsible and of a selfless nature is paramount. All characteristics that are not highly valued in our current culture. This woman is selfish and selfcentered nor is she responsible. As exhibited by her actions.
I never really used to like this term my kid uses, but it has a place here...
"What-ever."
I married in 1986 at 22 (my wife was 23) and we're still happily married.
The question is not how old you are, but whether you have your head screwed on straight about marriage -- what it is, what to expect, how to live as a married couple, etc.
Delaying marriage to 25 (or even 30 or 50) isn't going to help because most people in our culture are emotional adolescents who they don't have the basic skills needed to have a successful marriage.
We were lucky. We learned from our parents, but we also got a lot of good, practical instruction from our church.
So...if you marry at 24 years and 11 months, your marriage is doomed, but at 25 years and 1 month, you're good to go?
My ex and I were both over 25 when we married.
Maybe there'a a "sweet spot." Over her and and under our age.
"I do believe that it would be for the best -- better both for the institution of marriage and the individuals getting married -- if we could change the law to prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25."
She's not content with advising people to not marry until 25, she wants to make it law?
No, women shouldn't vote. They always jump to "there ought to be a law" with no thought to consequences unintended or otherwise.
It's not so much the chronological age as the level of maturity which determines the success of a marriage, as so many people have commented here. Some people are very mature at 18, others not so much at 40. Most people however advance in maturity with age, hardly anyone 'goes backwards'.
If Ms. Nagy was 'immature' rather than 'young' at the time of her wedding, which seems to be the case, this is what she should be addressing, rather than her age. And she should perhaps also show somewhere in her article that she intends to be self-reflective, rather than a know-it-all in a domain in which she clearly demonstrated failure.
Maybe there'a a "sweet spot." Over her and and under our age.
There's no age sweet spot. It's maturity, selflessness, and commitment to stick with it no matter what that matters.
In other words, actually taking the vows seriously.
I think there is another form of self interest which is also driving this. As a more "mature" woman with the baggage of divorce, she shouldn't have to compete for husbands with younger baggage free women. That simply isn't fair.
Let's say that her numbers are correct. 60 percent of couples who marry between 20 and 25 are destined for divorce versus 50 percent of all couples. So, we're to conclude that avoiding 20 percent additional statistical risk is worth all of the social costs that will accrue from pushing the average age of marriage up even higher?
Even at the individual level for a man the risk comes with compensation. Divorce rates can be explained in large part by the wife's perceived chance to remarry, and this is why a wife in her 20s is several times more likely to divorce than a wife in her 50s. If you want to play it really safe, marry an old hag. The other issue is that the longer a woman delays marriage the more exposure she has to the carousel. And a 30 year old virgin isn't that impressive either, because in general it means that neither sex nor marriage were a priority for her. If you want to marry, it is best to marry a young woman who is a virgin and believes in traditional marriage. Very few actually believe in traditional marriage, and very few even know what such a thing really is.
I wonder if she'd also support a law prohibiting non-marital relationships that lasted longer than, say, 1 year in order to avoid her 5-year courtship predicament.
Easily done through modification of common-law marriage, right?
The fish did kill JFK, no matter what you say! I have the stats to prove it:
Fish in Dallas on November 22, 1963 - several
JFK's who died on November 22, 1963, in Dallas - 1
Which brings me to my point: No one gets to talk about fish but me.
The fish did kill JFK, no matter what you say! I have the stats to prove it:
I knew it! No big surprise though, the bicycle rots from the fish down.
I suppose we should be happy that the author's ex-bicycle has a chance to find a better fish now.
She's getting killed in the comments. Expect a self-defensive emotional gibberish column sometime next week.
Actually solipsism as described here is a degenerate form of schizophrenia. Instead of a chorus of voices egging the patient on to do stupid, destructive, or evil things, there is just one.
The functional cure in either case is simply to stop listening when told to do something stupid, destructive, or evil, whether it comes from without or from within.
And didn't the JFK fish need a bicycle?
Twenty-five must be the magic number. I had a rebellious niece who entered into her second marriage at 23 and almost immediately wanted out; however, she waited until she turned 25 to file because, "No one wants to be twice divorced before 25."
What I don't get is why these women can't enjoy life while married. Marriage can be fun. It is definitely not a lonely existence. It isn't dull. It is exciting with many things that can be experienced.
I'm sure her problem is she just grew tired of her husband. She wants a new guy to give her everything her current husband can't. Unfortunately, this is hard to do. This is a trivial divorce. The woman is penalized in such a situation.
Fortunately, she is over 25 and not yet 30. She is still a candidate for re-marriage. All is not lost, but I'm sure she is not evening considering marriage. She would want to play the field for awhile, but if she waits too long, it will be too late.
"And a 30 year old virgin isn't that impressive either, because in general it means that neither sex nor marriage were a priority for her. If you want to marry, it is best to marry a young woman who is a virgin and believes in traditional marriage."
Not really. An over 30 year old male will find that 30 year old virgin to be a safe bet considering the other non-virgin candidates out there.
Speaking for myself, I found that 30 year old virgin to marry. I was a divorced 40 year old. These things do work out.
"...how the fish killed..."
Mercury, lead; what's the difference.
Yeah, but I have come to the conclusion that solipsism is God's only means of getting a women to tend children, and to a degree the house and husband.
It came to me when my mother was visiting. My eldest cat tends to vomit from time to time, and I, being timely and fashionable, get to it... eventually. Now, my mother swore she could smell it and was right on it. I mean, two seconds later she was... It almost exhausted me to watch anyone move that fast. Then I realized most of the women in my life were like that. My mother could swear she could smell it (it offers no odor, trust me).
I realized my mother was remembering back to when my brother or myself got sick... or... whatever'ed. And she could smell that. And her wires were crossed, so anything that looked like offered a similar smell, even if it didn't in fact. Then I realized, she didn't clean up for my brother or myself, but for herself. Whether her hormones were all messed up, or is that working correctly (hard to tell with women), scents and visuals of some kinds upset their stomach. I realized, then, that much of what women do, that seems to be caring or nurturing, is based on them, their gratifications or distastes or such. It has little to do with them being nicer, or loving, or any of that (if I had discounted those notions long ago, on their own demerits).
Sugar and spice and napalm and hydrochloric acid, claws, teeth... that's more like it. Just saying.
I had a female tell me absolutely no woman should marry before 21 because she won't ever get partying out of her system.
I really should have ripped into her for 1) her stupid assertion and 2) her very low opinion of all woman and 3) how utterly lame her "fun" must be if she thinks drinking & clubbing is the most fun a woman can have at any age.
Of course, she's also the biggest attention whore I've probably ever met...
Comments are closed, the author must have gotten offended.
Oh, right, but that self-centered notion also, until abortion and contraception, guaranteed the continuation of the species. There IS a reason for it. It's just become rather useless in these times, at least in this place, for most women and men.
I'm guessing her ex wishes marriage before 25 had been forbidden 5 years ago. . .
Interesting as well that the age restriction handicaps the mans ability to find an attractive spouse but not a woman's. (Women under 25 are most attractive whereas men 25 and over are most attractive)
Happy coincidence isn't it.
"No, women shouldn't vote. They always jump to "there ought to be a law" with no thought to consequences unintended or otherwise."
If that was made a law here is how I would react. (I am 25 by the way.) With the overwhelming majority of attractive females closed off from marriage for me I would see no point in marrying at all. Since there would be no point in marrying there would be no point in economically achieving. I wouldn't have gone to college, I wouldn't have gotten a career, and rather than pursue a long-term mating strategy and attempting to maximise all the qualities that make one a good long-term mate (career, ambition, socio-economic achievement) I would shift to a short-term mating strategy and attempt to maximise the attributes that make one successful for that strategy. So rather than aspiring to be a doctor or lawyer, I'd aspire to be a DJ, or a bouncer. Gym, tan laundry über alles.
But who cares what the collective effects would be from creating such an incentive structure. At least older women would be able to secure all the attractive marriage partners for themselves, and isn't that all that really matters?
Does this apply to gay "marriages"? Just curious.
@doom on January 18, 2013 at 2:46 PM --
Sugar and spice and napalm and hydrochloric acid, claws, teeth... that's more like it. Just saying.
Gee, just change that to hydrofluoric acid and you've got the Horta from Star Trek...
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