Friday, September 7, 2012

Women aren't attracted to Godly men

This may be among the most bitter of the various aspects of the red pill for some men, particularly Christian men, to swallow. It's a message we hear from Christians and Churchians alike, that women will be attracted to men who are faithful and godly pillars of the Church community, that being "sold out for Jesus" is not merely an attractive feature, but the most attractive aspect of a man for a Christian woman possible.

There is one serious problem with this. It is not true. And, unsurprisingly, in being false, it is an observably and intrinsically anti-Biblical concept.

Let's look at the greatest men of God, as seen in the Bible. Was Elijah a chick magnet? Were women constantly cooing over Elisha's bald pate? Did Jeremiah or Isaiah find it difficult to prophesy due to the women they were constantly having to fend off with their staffs? Sure, there was the whole rolling in filth thing, but then, personal uncleanliness didn't slow down the hippie chicks in the Sixties. Solomon had a vast and plentiful harem, but then, he was a king and a rich one at that. Hosea only married a prostitute at God's behest. Joseph was highly attractive to Potiphar's wife, but she was not a woman of God and it was clearly not his godliness that got her all hot and bothered.

Of course, that's all Old Testament. Is it any different in the New Testament? Not at all. The Apostle Paul never married, nor, insofar as we can tell, did Peter, James, Matthew, Mark, or John. Paul even makes it clear that a man who is truly sold out completely for God has no room for women in his life. That doesn't suffice to prove women aren't hot for him, and yet, at no point in any of the writings of these unmarried men of God is there any indication that women are bothering any of them with their excess attentions. Given Paul's criticism of female attire and them so much as speaking in the church, it seems unlikely that he would fail to mention them pestering him for his attention had they been doing so.

Jesus did draw in women by the droves, but then, he drew even more men to him as well. And while Herodias hated John the Baptist, there is no indication she hated him for spurning her rather than the threat he posed to her status as her uncle's wife.

So much for the Bible. Now let's observe the real world. Are sincerely religious men the objects of female fantasy? Not so much. On the basis of this metric, it is pretty clear that the sort of men women find most attractive are a) youthful billionaires b) vampires, and c) movie stars. Not only are missionaries, priests, and pastors conspicuously missing from the romance novels and chick flicks of the world, but the actual objects of female desire are notoriously immoral and unholy.

Now, this does not mean that Christian women don't want a godly husband who does genuinely love Jesus Christ. But this desire is relationship desire, not sexual attraction, as outlined previously in the logical fallacy of female attraction. And it also doesn't mean that the Christian man should not put Jesus Christ first in his life. It merely means that he should not expect his devotion to God to attract women in the same way that perfectly chiseled features, well-honed muscles, stylish clothes, social status, and irrational self-confidence do.

Christian women do find Christian men with strong faith to be attractive. But it is simply false to believe that they do so because of the strength of the man's faith, or even because of his faith. A woman follows because an attractive man leads her, not because she approves of his destination.

113 comments:

Anonymous said...

Um, Peter was married. Pretty clear about that... (Matthew 8:14)

But yup, we are not to be chick magnets, but fishers of men.

J in Japan said...

Peter and at least some of the other apostles besides Paul had wives.
Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law.
Paul says that he has the same right as the other apostles and Jesus' brothers to take a wife along with him on his journeys.
I agree with your point, but those examples don't help it.

VD said...

Peter and at least some of the other apostles besides Paul had wives.

Corrected for Peter. And regardless of whether he and one or two of the others were married or not, there is zero evidence that even with their godliness, they were unusually attractive to women in the way that successful Roman gladiators and charioteers were known to be.

Houston said...

"Now, this does not mean that Christian women don't want a godly husband who does genuinely love Jesus Christ. But this desire is relationship desire, not sexual attraction..."

This paradox exemplifies the difference between the marriage market place and the sexual market place. They overlap, but a man needs to understand the distinction to find a worthy wife.

RC said...

Teaching a bunch of men game-oriented concepts at my church on Wed night, including the pastor. It's all quite Biblical and very entertaining. Their faces look like what mine probably did when I was told Santa Claus wasn't real. We'll see if they can navigate the cognitive dissonance or not. Several have bagged it but even more have shown up.

PC Geek said...

"Paul even makes it clear that a man who is truly sold out completely for God has no room for women in his life."

Are you deriving this from 1 Cor 7?

Cail Corishev said...

It's similar to a comment I made at Dalrock's yesterday: no woman will ever be attracted to you because you're nice. If she's attracted to you for other reasons, then in the long run she'll be glad you also had (or she nurtured in you, which is how she'll want to see it) a nice side.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice; it just means you shouldn't expect niceness to get you anywhere. If you help a woman move to a new apartment or change a tire for her, you'd better be doing it out of altruism, because it certainly won't make her hot for you. (If she's interested in you after that, she already was anyway.)

Replace "nice" with "Christian" and the same truth applies. She may want a Christian man; that may even be #1 on her list of requirements. If she's been raised well and given good examples and is fairly virtuous, she may strictly limit herself to Christian men with certain good qualities, no matter how much other men might make her tingle. Knowing something is right and good for you, and being attracted to it, are two completely different things. I know that whole foods cooked at home are good for me, but I'm attracted to pizza and chips. If I have enough fortitude, I can choose the good and avoid the bad, but I can't convince myself that the good foods are exciting.

Kyle In Japan said...

It seems like pastors and missionaries rarely have much trouble finding wives - but this is probably because they're already setting themselves up for positions of status (within Christianity) and authority that attract women anyway.

PC Geek said...

Replace "nice" with "Christian" and the same truth applies. She may want a Christian man; that may even be #1 on her list of requirements. If she's been raised well and given good examples and is fairly virtuous, she may strictly limit herself to Christian men with certain good qualities, no matter how much other men might make her tingle. Knowing something is right and good for you, and being attracted to it, are two completely different things. I know that whole foods cooked at home are good for me, but I'm attracted to pizza and chips. If I have enough fortitude, I can choose the good and avoid the bad, but I can't convince myself that the good foods are exciting.

Great point - although one important thing to note is that one of the major issues that Christianity is missing is that we do conflate *nice* and *good* and they are not the same thing.

It's kind of like that scene from the Chronicles of Narnia..Aslan (Jesus) is not safe, but He is good. I do think a Godly man would be attractive, if you consider that simply being a pious sweet little angel (which is what most people think being a strong believer means) isn't really the essence of Christianity or Christian manhood. But others (like Eldredge) have dealt with that far better than I could. While raw piousness will not attract women, other qualities that Godly men should have and should derive from their faith (courage and confidence that have a trust in God as their source) would be attractive, I would think.

Anonymous said...

no woman will ever be attracted to you because you're nice. If she's attracted to you for other reasons, then in the long run she'll be glad you also had (or she nurtured in you, which is how she'll want to see it) a nice side.

Roissy has said as much many times. Women are attracted to alphas (jerks), but they want to commit to an alpha who will be exclusive to them (a jerk who treats them nicely). Same for men - men love sluts, but they want to commit to a slut who was, is and will continue to be exclusive to them.

Cail Corishev said...

I do think that becoming holier can make a man more attractive to women in some ways, if we're talking about the full package of manly virtues that go into that: fortitude, courage, discerning and pursing your God-given mission in life, etc. Projecting those qualities consistently is attractive. But a lot of men are saying, "I go to church most Sundays, I dress nice, I try to do unto others, and I'm always polite and respectful to women. Why do they keep turning me down?" Well, because while there are aspects of faith that can make you more attractive, those aren't they.

Give a Christian woman a choice between an obsequious believer and a tingle-causing blasphemer, and she'll go with the latter 9 times out of 10 (a conservative estimate). She'll tell herself that she sees great potential for holiness in him. The strongest hamsters will even claim that God brought them together precisely so she could convert him and save his soul, so it's her duty to sleep with him. She can do that kind of rationalization in her sleep.

Houston said...

Artificial alpha status. I assume their wives are motivated to stay with them, in part, because their social value would be trashed in church circles if they divorced. A pastor's ex-wife will get the Kristen Stewart treatment from ex-hubby's female fans.

JP (real one) said...

The line about Aslan not being tame was one of my favorite parts of the Chronicles of Narnia. This critique of Narnia (from a homeschooling site with some good material as well) represents the worst of Wussified Christianity:

http://www.hstreasures.com/articles/narnia.html

This is a much better take:

"Aslan is not a tame lion. Shift used that truth destructively, and to his own damnation, but it is still a truth for all that. We don't care that God's grace is not domesticated, and cannot be domesticated. We don't care that God is not tame. He's good, I tell you."

http://www.dougwils.com/Life-in-the-Regeneration/break-blow-burn.html

Daniel said...

If Tim Tebow looked like Danny DeVito and played football like Rusty Lisch, I'm sure teenage girls would still take his cardboard cutout to prom, right? You know, because of his extensive missionary work...

Anonymous said...

Women want to save/reform the bad boy (Nightingale Syndrome).
They don't want to be judged by someone morally superior (holier) than them.

PC Geek said...

Give a Christian woman a choice between an obsequious believer and a tingle-causing blasphemer, and she'll go with the latter 9 times out of 10 (a conservative estimate). She'll tell herself that she sees great potential for holiness in him. The strongest hamsters will even claim that God brought them together precisely so she could convert him and save his soul, so it's her duty to sleep with him. She can do that kind of rationalization in her sleep.

You are totally correct there - one thing though.

Pussified Churchian vs. super-manly non-believer is a fales dichtonomy. A person can be truly manly (as opposed to the secular caricturization (sp?)of manhood) *and* a believer.

It is best for soceity that men embrace such a vision, and neither side of the dichtonomy that you presented.

Not saying you were clamiing those were the only choices, mind you - just pointing out that what I see as a key point on this blog is that genuine Game and Christianity are compatible. It is merely the way Roissy and friends apply it that is not.

JP (real one) said...

There's some truth to that, but I think here's another double-standard here, too. It's easier to project the things you mentioned when you're a single guy in your 20s. You can nervously volunteer to lead prayers, head up a project or trip for other singles on the weekend, etc. Plenty of time for those things.

Fast forward a few years. You've convinced your select babe that you're a great "godly leader," and get married. Now, when the world is on your shoulders (kids, financial difficulties, etc.) and you aren't the great leader in the chuch, she's very dissapointed. Meanwhile, nothing is expected of her other than the normal wifely duties. But you're supposed to maintain the "great, dynamic church leader" role during one of the busiest times in your life. If you aren't, you just aren't manning up and trying hard enough.

Anonymous said...

Yup - they're alpha within that particular context, even if they're not in any other sense. It was a source of frustration in my younger days - I saw less attractive men in my peer group snag wives much sooner than I did, largely because they were on track to become a pastor or missionary. I was just as "good" as they were, but I had no desire to follow either path.

Needless to say, this was years before taking the red pill, when I thought I could "nice" my way into a relationship.

Houston said...

"Yup - they're alpha within that particular context, even if they're not in any other sense."

Word. I've seen pastors scold and belittle men from the pulpit, and get away with it, only because they were safely in that social context. They would be thrashed in a bar for showing that kind of disrespect.

rycamor said...

It ain't just artificial. Missionaries tend to be adventurous, interesting leaders of men. My father rode all over Colombia in a motorcycle starting churches. Regular man's man. He could build anything, fix anything, wasn't afraid to go anywhere. He and another missionary even camped out with the Incas in the mountains of Colombia for awhile.

Houston said...

True. There are always men who genuinely live up to the role they play.

a good ROI said...

I am interested in your viewpoints and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. All kidding aside, do you have anything on line in putting this information into a teachable format? How you broach certain topics, etc.

Houston said...

This comment made my day. Godspeed, and let's roll!

Anonymous said...

"social status, and irrational self-confidence do."

The problem is that these features listed here are not Christian. Social status is most often the result of greed. And irrational self confidence might as well read pride. Being unchristian is sexy.

"A woman follows because an attractive man leads her, not because she approves of his destination."

Hence why Eve fell. Women aren't capable of figuring out destinations, including heaven. They can only be lead there. And the second Adam lets Eve lead he falls from God.

Orville said...

Part of this problem is that there is a spiritual red pill that needs to be taken by churchians to unplug from the whole "ministry" matrix used by pastors to keep fresh batteries plugged in to keep money and prestige flowing their way.

There is a whole hierarchy of "service", and as mentioned above, the higher levels more marketplace value (though not sexual value). It definitely plays a role in the pairing off and marriage phases, but once the realities of married life sink in, it's value is gone. I can count on more than two hands the number of divorces of people who were "plugged in" to ministry including two missionary couples and three pastors who were spun off to new or established churches.

I could sum that spiritual red pill as "it's far more important what you are, than what you do", and I even employ that approach in hiring people at my work. Skills can be picked up, but character usually can't created in a person.

Daniel said...

I don't think it is all artificial - about 50% of the missionaries I know are practically headhunters. The pastors who have led the churches I attended (for any reasonable length of time) have all been alphas and little "b" betas executing the leadership of an alpha mentor.

Now, if you are talking about the stereotypical low delta pastor or the socially awkward gamma missionary, I know who you are talking about. Church is actually good for the longevity of the relationship: the social pressures keep them together, but it might not be good for the improvement of their relationship.

After all, a gamma who succumbs to the Church pressure is going to be taught that churchy gammaness "works" and his wife is going to learn that secretly despising her husbands weak qualities is better than openly rejecting them. Communications breaks down, the church plays a tune, and everybody does the gamma dance for a Jesus who does not recognize their ritual.

Stilicho said...

David: no doubt he was attractive to women (warrior king, rebel, etc.), but he was also a godly man (except when he wasn't...just ask Uriah). Yet, does anyone believe that it was his godliness and not his bad-boy, alpha traits that made him attractive? Bathsheba might have had sex with a Hezekiah type if pressured, but she would not have wanted to. With David, it would probably been impossible to stop her once the opportunity was presented.

Daniel said...

It is worth noting that Peter was married before Jesus called him. In other words, Jesus himself did not make Peter a chick magnet - Peter got his chick...then went fishing for souls.

My guess is that Peter's wife was far more attracted to him for the successful company he ran than the company he kept. In 1 Cor. 9, he is shown as exercising his right to marry, but he isn't held up as godly as an attractant. In fact, if his wife was still living during his persecutions, I can't imagine that such instability was a stimulant.

Anonymous said...

Some christian women who are/were considered 'attractive' in their twenties, particularly the used-up 're-virgined' ones who spent their prime years as alpha male pin cushions seem to be attracted to Godly men. Or at least I would presume that to be the case.

I would add that once these used-up women leave their prime years behind, there are few places where they can be afforded some type of relatively high potential relational value. Sexually frustrated church men are a good option for former 'party girls' with high sex partner counts.

Certainly, although that's not what I would want in a partner, I wish such women and their future mates well. People can and do change.

Anonymous said...

RC,

Your post is inspirational. I wish someone like you had been in my church when I grew up. Instead of being inculcated with Pentecostal Feminism and the 'feelings are the only thing that matters' dreck, I would have learned something of masculinity.

The main thing my churches produced were effeminate, weak men, sexually frustrated men or men who could not relate to women because of rigid feminist doctrine and who gave up and pursued relations with other men.

Houston said...

"I would add that once these used-up women leave their prime years behind, there are few places where they can be afforded some type of relatively high potential relational value. Sexually frustrated church men are a good option for former 'party girls' with high sex partner counts."

These men are known as chumps.

paulmurray said...

Christian women find attractive christian men who are on track to being a pastor, or in some form of leadership. The reason is simple: the wife of a pastor automatically becomes boss of all the other women, and this is the holy grail. Men are sources of money and status, and for a christian woman, wife of the pastor is the ultimate in status.

Houston said...

And I would add that the entry of such women into the churches (particularly if they are the proverbial tares among the wheat) is a huge danger to naive, game-less Christian bachelors.

RC said...

@a good ROI,

I'm rolling through these classes and building/modifying the material. I may have something worth sharing about the beginning of the year. If you are interested in it at that time, drop an e-mail to me at madetolead@ymail.com.

I want it to be impactful but not get the poor instructor thrown out. It's a balance. I'd be thrilled if other men would give the material a go in their church.

Orion said...

It can also be noted that Peter was a bit of a hot head and was the first to bring up violence as a solution to issues. A bit of the bad boy before the resurrection.

Ted Walther said...

But I have noticed what Anonymous said above; They don't want to be judged by someone morally superior (holier) than them. Holiness is a turn off in general; it takes extra masculinity/alphaness to compensate for it.

JCclimber said...

Abraham led 100's of men into a running battle with 5 kings. Kept his wife interested enough that she was willing to give her maid to him to sire a child. Despite her superlative beauty (read how a pharaoh and a king were both hot to marry her even in her middle age).

Joshua & Caleb. David and Gideon. I mean, Gideon led 300 men in a suicidal charge against 10's of thousands of armed enemy soldiers (holding a trumpet and a torch). Gideon ended up with multiple wives.

Strong unshakeable conviction and irrational confidence from your faith that God has your back can be attractive to women. Missionaries that I know personally are manly, not like bodybuilder manly, but with a firm purpose, their woman can utterly rely on them to be head of household in a horrible situations, to the point where they will have children far from hospitals and modern medical care.

Maybe their women can actually see them putting on the armor of God each day, and that could be very attractive. So long as they don't shed the armor for their woman and become a little pussy, catering to every whim and whine of their spouse out of fear that she might become unhappy or cry or throw a little sulk.

Daniel said...

And nastier after it. It wasn't until after encountering the risen Jesus that he became a prison inmate, an escape artist, a racist (okay, one rebuked by Paul for it as being unChristian, but still) and the first proponent of inverted crucifixion...for himself.

There's an element of true holiness that is attractive, because it is wild. I imagine there were a few would-be queens swooning at the worshipful dance of David.

But I doubt very much it had anything to do with their biorythmic response to the glory of God or anything other than the temporal obvious.

Cail Corishev said...

Good point. I didn't mean to imply that those are the only two choices, but most men do seem to fall into one of those categories. Probably because we've all been trained to think you have to pick one path or the other.

Ted's right too: it's very hard for a woman today to allow herself to be judged by a man. That surely plays into her preference for picking a man who appears to be below her spiritually, so she can judge and lead him instead.

Daniel said...

This is correct. Holiness, in and of itself is not repellent. Sanctimoniousness certainly is. Holiness, by definition, separates a man from the herd. But at the same time, holiness can put a man (like Paul, for example) out of the reach of women altogether.

But the "godly man" of today, who serves in the nursery (as prescribed), who helps set up chairs and directs traffic, who helps around the building and is expected to sit down once or twice a week to do a bible study with the guys and should never get in the way of his wife's happiness/whims is really unattractive.

The problem is, that is exactly what men are expected to be if they want to "attract a good wife." No one ever bothers to tell them that none of the good wives they are looking for need another girlfriend.

Ted Walther said...

I suspect they don't want to be judged, because they fear their inner slut. If I say "hello" to a woman, and she instantly cries "don't judge me!" I now know that she is a slut.

van Rooinek said...

Tim Tebow is a natural Alpha. Christian or not, either way he was destined to be doing a lot of... ahem... missionary work.

van Rooinek said...

This crap about Christian women wanting Christian men, was taken down effectively all the way back in 1998, by NZ author Ross Clark. The relevant excerpts --

...Romance is not about God’s choice "for many, but not for all". The process by which some Christians get married and others remain single rarely involves supernatural intervention. Rather, people’s attraction in the romance stakes follows a distribution from drop-dead gorgeous, through to drop-dead at the thought of it.

They who have get all the attention they want, and much that they don’t. Those who aren’t perceived to be attractive are left out. Despite bitter protestations to the contrary, Christians are no different in this respect—but no-one will ever admit it!

To compensate, leaders sometimes suggest that their charges work on their Christian life. But being a good Christian does not, in itself, improve your chances. In fact, it just highlights what is already there. The attractive are more attractive still; the naturally less-attractive are levered right out of the running, as if living in the Light shows up the bugs all the more. The stronger the Christian life, the more this effect can be seen at work...

... it is about your own natural attraction, not whether God ‘has’ someone for you...


http://www.singleness.org/talkdown.shtml

I suspect that the author (with whom I briefly corresponded many years ago) would be loathe to regard this classic essay as part of the "red pill". But it was definitely part of the red pill process for me.

A disclaimer is necessary: the "Purposeful Singleness" site at which it is posted, is NOT one I recommend; MOST of the content there, at least back when I was single, was precisely the sort of worthless "Job's comforter" counsel that Clark advises to avoid, in a different part of his essay.

But oh.. my.. this essay really nails it.

JCclimber said...

Except, both can change their natural attractiveness.
Women can use artful makeup, make sure their diet and exercise routine keeps their skin alive and vibrant and the body thinner and attractive, have long healthy hair, and avoid tattoos and horribly unattractive clothing choices.

Men can work out, wear clothing that fits and looks at least somewhat stylish, and avoid slouching and beta body language, get good haircuts, and shave or grow facial hair that looks good on them.

Oh, but that is hard work, for either gender. Much easier to just blame God for the "natural attractiveness" that He gave them at birth.

Lumpy said...

Women definitely don't want to feel judged—that's a negative emotion that just repels them. The trouble is the vast majority of women are far more slutty and morally flexible than the majority of men (betas).

Women may not be totally conscious of it, but at a gut level they realize they have to hide a part of their behavior around these men. If they showed their true nature they'd be judged. Only around non-judgemental amoral alphas can she be the (slutty, sexual) woman that she wants to be.

van Rooinek said...

Except, both can change their natural attractiveness.

Only within certain limits. A man can't change his height, for example. Not my issue, I'm tall, but IIRC the author of the essay is only about 5'6".

Duke of Earl said...

Darn, I read that critique of Narnia and was appalled. Narnia is a well written fantasy series. It's exciting, tragic, and uses the images of classic mythology with the same respect that Tolkein used Norse mythology. To use a Chestertonism, they took the ancient gods and goddesses and made them Christians, they took the gargoyles and brought them to worship the Christ child.

A modern take might be to baptise a vampire, or have the werewolf howl his praise to the Lord of creation.

Anonymous said...


Houston said: "These men are known as chumps"

Exactly!

I'm sure that many women genuinely want to change their lives and I wish them well for it. I just am not interested in another man's (or perhaps she was property of dozens of men) leftovers, especially if she still thinks she had the attractiveness and desirability, physically AND attitude-wise, that many women had before they gave up their innocence for alpha cock.

There are few things more pathetic than a formerly-attractive woman who still thinks she's attractive but who is 'running on fumes', figuratively speaking.

And Houston, I have seen the fallout of 'christian' women who 'changed' long enough to marry some good man, only for that man to find out years and several children later, that he married a 'christian slut'.

Sad.

Anonymous said...

David..Uriah..Bathsheba...Hezekiah...

These are all names from jewish "history"(old testament), which is really ethnic nationalist propaganda. If you aren't jewish, why are you using jewish "history" for references? If you are ethnic European, you should be using names from your own European history. There is 30 to 40 thousand years of history from which you can gain examples. Please study your own ethnic history, your own forefathers.

Houston said...

OT, Christian spinsters and spinsters-in-training are running their hamsters to death on this blog: http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/

I've posted a link to Alpha Game. Hopefully the moderator will approve it.

Houston said...

I'm 5'6", and in my single days I had to accept the fact that most taller women (and many women of equal height) would reject me on sight. Humorously, my sister-in-law recently reassured me that I'm of average height. Classic example of why a man should never listen to a woman's assessment of his SMV.

The Preacher's Wife said...

OH PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you serious?

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

These silly debates are a waste of time.

I think all of you would do well to jettison Christianity altogether.

Mudz said...

That would probably be the worst solution ever, Laguna.

King A (Matthew King) said...

"Women aren't attracted to Godly men."

Everything in my experience contradicts this assertion, which seems to have been plucked from thin air. Or, at best, it is a faint echo of Roissy's unstudied, nihilistic triumphalism.

Evil is attractive. We have known this since Eve and the fruit. To then conclude that evil is the exclusive criterion for attractiveness is the real "Converse Fallacy of Accident."

Women, like all sinners, are exclusively drawn to evil when they have never encountered the good. Yet even then, our natural, postlapsarian inclinations are defeated by the supernatural yearning for the good, which can never be wholly eradicated. It is the divine spark coaxed into conflagration by the Redemption.

You have to figure out a way to separate your intermittent worship of evil from the rightful worship of fortitude, Christians. It's why game boys deny the faith and why the faithful deny game -- a tragic circumstance.

Matt

Anonymous said...

I saw that dynamic play out with my grandmother - a preacher's wife. She was a real ballbuster and relished being in charge.

Cail Corishev said...

Matthew, taking that one line out of context, you're right. But the point which the article clearly makes is not that being Godly makes you unattractive to women. It's that being Godly just isn't relevant to the process of attracting women, so you'd better not count on that to get you one.

A man, being logical, thinks, "She says she wants a devout Christian man, so I'll be one. She'll see me in church every Sunday, and I'll talk to her about my prayer life and get involved in charitable works with her, and she'll be drawn to all that. After all, she says it's her #1 requirement." And she may think it is; she may even have "#1 Christian" written down on the top of her "What I Want in My Husband" list. But she doesn't realize that her body and subconscious mind put several things on the list above #1 without her permission, and they've already decided whether she's attracted to him long before she sees how Christian he is.

As I said above, the manly virtues can make you more attractive. But not in a direct way, as if a woman looks at you and says, "Wow, he's got a lot of fortitude; I want his babies!" It's indirect -- the virtues give you confidence, a more honest and direct gaze, a better focus on what's important so you can be more indifferent toward outcomes with women, and so on. Those are the attributes that make you more attractive, not the virtues themselves. That's why the felonious biker who displays those same attributes for very different reasons can get the same tingle from her, and ride off with her if she hasn't developed some solid virtues of her own to combat her desires. It's not because she's drawn to his evil; she's drawn to those attributes that convince her he's good despite the appearances.

It's no different for men: a man doesn't decide to be attracted to a woman because he sees how devout she is. He was attracted or not within a few seconds of first seeing her. If he is attracted, then finding out that she's kind, nurturing, devout, etc. will add to that, but without the initial attraction, he'll think she'd make a nice friend, or a nice wife for some other guy.

van Rooinek said...

we are not to be chick magnets, but fishers of men.

For those of us who just can't stand celibacy (1 Cor 7:9), at least once in our lives we have to be a chick magnet.

King A (Matthew King) said...

"Matthew, taking that one line out of context, you're right."

That "one line" happens to be the headline, which sets the table for the entire claim.

Further, we clearly have different conceptions of what "being Godly" means. When the horror movie concludes with evil rising again, women don't get wet. They are unsettled and creeped out (pleasantly, because they are observing the darkness, not directly subject to it). On the other hand, when the epic film concludes with the hero vanquishing evil, she reacts beyond "tingle." She is ready to combine her body and soul with the agent of justice to an extent that transcends and fulfills groin urges.

http://cryingwife.com/_/videos.html

No one here believes women are capable of directing their emotions with syllogisms like, "Wow, he's got a lot of fortitude; I want his babies!" That is a non sequitur. Yes, when women make their crude, irrelevant checklists and men slavishly follow them, that is a problem.

I conclude that you have never met a Godly man, much less understood the dynamic of his interactions with women. Those who take the Dark Triad as gospel are overgrown metalhead dorks or pussified boy-men jealous of manly vitality in others. Discernment is not their strong point. They just melt in the presence of men, like most do, their circuits scrambled like a preteen's. In that emotional chaos they repeat the platitudes of their beloved and regard unfounded utterances as holy writ.

Look, use the appearance of evil to rope in the naïve, if that's what your dick tells you. But don't pontificate about the relative strength of goodness versus evil based on skewed field observations. You know not whereof you speak.

Magnanimity is magnetic. It cannot be faked as easily as evil. And when the mask slips, as it eventually must, the initial attraction is replaced by horror and self-hatred, whereas the great-souled -- the megalopsychiac -- rewards her discovery with still more ineffable wonders. That is the alpha of the "Alpha and Omega." All your wonders belong to Christ, and through Christ are you able to put the lie to all believers in evil "strength."

But because the duplicity of evil lends itself more easily to false imitation, chumps will pursue it and make an idol of it. Your attempt to finesse this capitulation through "appearances" and casuistry does not impress me.

Matt

Tiger said...

Ok, Matthew King. Do you have some examples of Godly men, per your definition? I have seen in the past some men use "godly" game and their courtships went extremely quickly. Hours, if not days. But it has been a long time, I don't remember their names or faces, and I don't run in church circles anymore

Tiger said...

Where are the Godly man role models to learn from? Instead of having to learn from Roissy et al? Is Tim Tebow all we have? Sure, just build up big muscles and become a football champion.

Asher said...

"Magnanimity is magnetic". Absolutely true.

Everything else your wrote is a pile of incoherent gibberish. Maybe you could clarify.

Asher said...

Do godly Mormon men make the magical panties drop to the floor? Paging Captain Underoos.

fatherof10 said...

Women want a STRONG GODLY MAN, if you take out GODly they still want him. They are attracted to REAL MEN. GODliness helps on the comfort and sustainability side for the long term, but not in the attraction.

JESUS was the ultimate Alpha. He could have had any woman he wanted, but he didn't so he could die for me.

FrankNorman said...

Do you think people "should" learn only from their own culture?
Christians from races and nations all over the world use the Bible, and the people mentioned in the OT are therefore examples we all know of.
If you have any examples from European history, go ahead and share.

The Dude said...

I agree about Jesus being the ultimate Alpha(and Omega). I'll admit after taking the red pill I looked a Jesus another way, and it made me respect him all the more.

Duke of Earl said...

I would say that Jesus would have been one of the hardest men who ever lived. Not in his dealings with people (obviously) although he had no time for the hypocritical and self righteous, but in terms of his deliberate intention of following the path his Father had laid out for him.

He lived his life under the shadow of the cross. Every time he passed by someone nailed up by the Romans, and they were many, he must have felt that sensation we call "someone walking over my grave." He could see how those men suffered and died, and knew what it was he was headed for. He went anyway.

Jonathan said...

"Women aren't capable of figuring out destinations, including heaven. They can only be lead there. And the second Adam lets Eve lead he falls from God."

Well said. And entirely misogynistic from a typical Church standpoint. I was raised Evangelical Christian and I wish I had someone to teach me about real-world relationships.

van Rooinek said...

Given Mormon birthrates, it would seem, YES.

van Rooinek said...

Your reasoning is so contorted, and your experience are so radically opposite those of so many other men, that I really don't know how to answer you.

I think Cail summarized it best: the point which the article clearly makes is not that being Godly makes you unattractive to women. It's that being Godly just isn't relevant to the process of attracting women

To put it another way:
(a) Attraction is not compatibility. (Surely you know this, you must have at least once in your life been strongly attracted to someone that you knew was a poor match).
(b) Almost all romantic advice given to men, by parents, pastors, and female friends, involves improving your compatibility -- eg, spiritual growth, communication skills, dealing with emotional damage, cultivating outside interests, etc.
(c) But, all the compatibility in the world, will not get you a relationship without attraction.

Even when the issue of attraction IS dealt with,
(d) Attraction is one-dimensional for men: Looks (which are a good proxy for health and fertility). This is universally known.
(e) Attraction is TWO dimensional for women: Looks AND Status. (The desire for a higher status mate has a technical name, hypergamy).
(f) Hypergamy is NOT widely known -- women themselves, despite the strong effects it exerts on them, appear to be unaware of it, and simply cannot explain why they like one man over another, especially when the one they rejected is clearly of higher quality in every compatibility dimension and may even be taller and better looking!
(g) Most romantic advice given to men, ignores hypergamy and is therefore at best worthless.

Anonymous said...

The unspoken second half of the headline is "...to whom they aren't already attracted to"

I'm sure Christian women are attracted to Godly men. Assuming they're attracted to him anyway - it's a bonus, not the be-all, end-all.

Which is the whole point of the OP. It's secondary. If there is nothing else attractive about a man to a woman, being "Godly" might gain him respect from the woman, but it won't gain him her affection.

Anonymous said...

Laguna Beach,

Which 'Christianity' are you talking about? That which is more precisely known as 'churchianity' which possesses a thin veneer of Christianity but which is little more than emotional highs and smug self-justification for those who partake in it? I grew up in such an environment and believe me, I jettisoned that garbage a long time ago. Unfortunately, repairing the damage done, though that is progressing, has required a great deal of time for me.

I found God but not much of Him in 'church'. Based only on my own experience, I have concluded that most practitioners of Churchianity will NEVER find what they're looking for.

Oh and by the way, if these 'silly debates' are such a waste of time, why are you here wasting your time? Some of us are seeking answers to why things are not as we're told they are. You may have it all together, but some of us do not.

Ayiluy said...

Every women is individual and every man is. Every one has different qualities that attract them in each other.
“There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
19 the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a young woman". Proverbs 30:18-19
As for Godliness, it has nothing to do with your relationship with woman, guys. It does have to do with your relationship with God. Don't try to use being a 'man of God' card in your trying to get a girl. It's not fair to the girl and not right before God. Seriously!.

King A (Matthew King) said...

Let me try this way.

Evil is attractive. That's what makes it insidious. Evil is nothing if not compelling. Who would chase after an ugly thing on its surface? Concupiscence weakens our defense against false promises. Evil is a lie that offers the good but always delivers emptiness.

>> The serpent said to the woman, "You will not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."
>>
>> So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate.
>>
>>Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked ... and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.


Basic stuff. Evil is by definition a false attraction masquerading as the good, a bait-and-switch advertisement. We are more preternaturally attracted to the good, which baits us before switching to evil consequence. The serpent promised, "Your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God," not, "You will be exiled into the outer darkness, live a life of hardship, and die."

In other words, evil is attractive but the good (or Godly) is still more attractive, except when under the temporary influence of concupiscence. Vox's implication is that we cannot escape concupiscence and therefore inadvertently advises we sue for peace with the kingdom of this world.

Surely this is not the first time you've contemplated the dangers of concupiscence and the attractions of evil? When I first encountered the "manosphere's" approach to this primordial fact of the human condition, my reaction was, Oh, this is a classic case of spiritual torpor and sloth. Nobody who takes his faith seriously is unfamiliar with this most cunning quality of the devil.

Then I realized how spiritually illiterate game's most fervent spokesmen were, and how much of their silly creed would disappear under just a little bit of Augustinian introspection. I like gamers like Vox because they err on the side of Whip-The-Moneychangers aggression rather than the passivity that characterizes our era of gentility. But when even he mistakes that false niceness as Godly, a correction is in order. Which brings us to ...

King A (Matthew King) said...

"Godly" does not mean "nice." There is tremendous confusion about this, and it is destroying the church and ghettoizing game. You are tempted to call Godliness unattractive because you have previously, exclusively, and tautologically defined Gentle Jesus as churchly -- the Mormon with a backpack and nary an untoward expression on his vanilla face. Which you then further mischaracterize with that insipid neologism "Churchianity."

Every time you mistake the timid, herbly, and feminine approach of our corrupt modern era for the essence of Christianity, you are justifying the theologically illiterate to worship evil as manly. Hence Roissy's "crimson arts" shtick and Unholy Trinity of the "dark triad."

Yes, Godliness means mercy, but it means justice just as much. Which Godly men are attractive? They are so attractive and so widely accepted as attractive we even have a word for them: heroes. Heroes are mocked and deconstructed by our culture. It is no surprise that you have followed the lead of the leftist commissars who undermined those exemplars for purposes of allowing evil to reign unimpeded.

I cannot work out your faith for you. To be attuned to this superreality requires self-study and attentiveness. Which is why Christianity cannot get a foothold among the slothful and proudly doltish. The amazing "discoveries" that the game community gets excited about are only amazing to the willfully ignorant. Anyone who takes his faith seriously has already encountered the conundrums the gamesters devote so much energy to solving under their own terms (and only their own terms). Then here I come to critique the terms themselves, and the neophytes are simultaneously baffled and defensive. They have never examined the premises. Most don't and never will independent from religious modes of inquiry. In other words ...

King A (Matthew King) said...

This conversation is apparently above your pay grade. Not that you want to hear it, proud men that you are.

You have already accepted certain premises of game as a creed. I do not accept those premises, and I explain why. To simply reiterate the articles of faith in different words, as van Rooinek does above in almost Nicene fashion, is to miss the entire point.

"Attraction is not compatibility." Compatibility is not Godliness, and given the stark choice Christ presents the world, they may in fact be antonyms (Luke 9:59-62; Rom 12:2). Heroic goodness is just as disruptive (or "incompatible") to the female want of stability as monstrous evil is.

"Attraction is one-dimensional for men: Looks.... This is universally known.... Attraction is TWO dimensional for women." More Roissian assertion regurgitated without examination.

Try this experiment, apprentice. Is a fit, cute, 20-year-old virgin girl with a bubbly personality attractive to you? Now take the same girl and find out she's not a virgin (she lied to you); in fact she is a drug-addicted, STD infested porn star in mid-career, opening her hole to 250 men (so far) in the last two years, undergoing three abortions, and that bubbly outward personality is in private actually wounded, suicidal, mercurial, bipolar, and contemptuous of you. Same appearance. Same attraction?

This canard is repeated without thinking, and a moment's reflection would make a man reconsider it. The truth is, looks are indeed more important to men, overwhelmingly so. Credal proclaimers then take this fact and turn it into the whole of their understanding of attraction. Worst of all, they imagine their error is "universally known" to be true.

"Hypergamy is NOT widely known." Hypergamy has been widely known since prehistory, and that prehistorical awareness is exemplified in the Garden of Eden story. Cultures who missed out on the western sexual revolution have no illusions about hypergamy, which is why restrictions on female promiscuity have been a part of every stable civilization ever.

Gameboys stumble across a venerable truth known to society immemorial, but because it is a new Greek word, they think they have discovered fire. Our little moment in time is a blip, son. The legislation that attempted to bring about an unsexed society will die with the next generation. The sexual revolution is a footnote to history. Hypergamy is either controlled, or it consumes the host culture.

Anyway, cogitate on this. The platitudes you so confidently repeat are not revelations to me, much less refutations of my position. They are marginally amusing instances of the extent that propaganda (tarted up as samizdat to make it more tantalizing (it's "NOT widely known"!)) infiltrate an individual's consciousness -- amusing at least from a sociological point of view. That a typical naïf like you would think he is being responsive is a troubling sign for the future of this "community."

Matt

King A (Matthew King) said...

So you never escaped the trailer park. You have no examples of Godly men in your life other than what you catch on ESPN (when the cable's not out).

The sexual revolution -- and its rip-roaring conclusion we will all live through -- is your provincial, Jerry Springer mentality writ national. People like you cannot imagine life among the civilized classes, so you assume us to be merely legendary.

Tim Tebow is an aberration for a reason, and it's not because few of his example exist. It's because men like him are mocked, deconstructed, and vilified when they're not ignored while "the villain wins" mentality is regarded as the height of sophistication. Certain traits are celebrated, certain traits are denied to the point of demonization. Every hater of faggotry is regarded as secretly queer; every white-picket fence must contain a household of depravities; every good person is only good because we haven't looked for dirt deep enough yet.

I am not interested in your worm's eye view. I am interested in preventing such an underclass mentality from infecting the rebuilders of the culture, as Vox would otherwise would be.

Matt

King A (Matthew King) said...

"if you take out GODly they still want him..."

And what happens when you take the Godly out of a man? They're just as superawesome but without any of that squaresville stuff?

Matt

Houston said...

Van Rooinek writes: "Hypergamy is NOT widely known -- women themselves, despite the strong effects it exerts on them, appear to be unaware of it, and simply cannot explain why they like one man over another, especially when the one they rejected is clearly of higher quality in every compatibility dimension and may even be taller and better looking!"

I visited with a female relative yesterday. She confided, with tears in her eyes, that her husband is a weakling ("a big child") and that she hates being the stronger spouse in the marriage. Woman in emotional mode: hypergamy confessed.

Only a couple of hours later, I mentioned that the reason I didn't strike out with my future wife was because, after years of nice guy floundering and rejection, I had learned to be confident and project dominance. "Women want dominant men," I told her. She was genuinely mystified and would not agree to this. Woman in rational mode: hypergamy denied.

Toby Temple said...

King A,

Here is a good clue as to why you cannot be trusted about Christianity:

You have to figure out a way to separate your intermittent worship of evil from the rightful worship of fortitude, Christians.

Christians do not worship fortitude. This is a Christian fundamental.

Even if your excuse for making such a statement is that it is not what you meant, the fact remains that you replaced God with fortitude as the object of worship for Christians shows how wrong you are with your understanding of the teachings of Christ.

van Rooinek said...

Wrong on so many levels... where to begin?

"Godly" does not mean "nice."... Godliness means mercy, but it means justice just as much. Which Godly men are attractive? They are so attractive and so widely accepted as attractive we even have a word for them: heroes.

TRUE... BUT... opportunities for heroism are relatively rare. For every situation where it's righteous and holy to overturn tables, crack whips, and kick the fractional reserve bankers out of the temple, there are a hundred more situations where the impulse to get violent -- or even just verbally confrontive -- must be RESISTED on moral grounds.

"Good" is NOT the same as nice... but, as a practical matter, MOST of the time, good. ethical men ARE nice.

The amazing "discoveries" that the game community gets excited about are only amazing to the willfully ignorant.

I learned the hard way, on my own, that most of this "game" stuff is true... BEFORE the rise of the manosphere. Being a virgin-til-marriage Christian I applied this knowledge in a different manner than the pickup artists... but... the underlying female psychology is the same.

"Attraction is not compatibility." Compatibility is not Godliness,

Like hell it ain't. Equally yoked spiritually - godliness - is a fundamental element of compatibility for a Christian man seeking a wife. It's not the only component of compatibility but it is certainly a large one, for those who obey the Lord.

The fatal flaw in most Church romantic advice, is to say or imply that working hard on developing your spirituality (which you should be doing anyway) in some way makes you more ATTRACTIVE to Christian women. It absolutely does NOT.

More Roissian assertion regurgitated without examination.... To simply reiterate the articles of faith in different words, as van Rooinek does above in almost Nicene fashion, is to miss the entire point.


I learned this ON MY OWN, in real life, long before I heard of Roissy. Empirically verifiable facts. That post you are slamming is largely AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL.

Try this experiment, apprentice.

I am not your apprentice, you arrogant ignorant ass. I have been happily married for 10 years now.

Is a fit, cute, 20-year-old virgin girl with a bubbly personality attractive to you?

Of course, if you're not gay.

Now take the same girl and find out she's not a virgin (she lied to you); in fact she is a drug-addicted, STD infested porn star in mid-career, opening her hole to 250 men ...and that bubbly outward personality is in private actually wounded, suicidal, mercurial, bipolar....Same appearance. Same attraction?

Same attraction, but a hell of a lot less compatible. Which is exactly my point. In fact, long before I met my wife, I once dated someone like that - a former hooker I met in Bible study who at admitted an n in excess of 400. She was VERY attractive... and after about 2 months of dating it was clear that she far too messed up from her rough background, to be compatible.

I know what I am talking about. You CLEARLY do not. You are catastrophically naive. I hope you don't pay too high a price to find out the truth.

"Hypergamy is NOT widely known."-- Cultures who missed out on the western sexual revolution have no illusions about hypergamy

If you have access to the internet, and/or you speak English, you are part of a culture that was hit by the satanic sexual revolution.

The sexual revolution is a footnote to history. Hypergamy is either controlled, or it consumes the host culture.

This is quite true. Even a stopped clock is right once a day...

Jim said...

You left off Moses especially when played by Charleston Heston. He sure looked enticing towards women.

There's "The Thorn Birds" played by Richard Chamberlain. I read this book.

My feeling is a man must show dominance through leadership. There are many women who would want to be a pastor's wife if he shows the way. There is status and prestige.

You have to also acknowledge the various sexual scandals that come to light with pastors.

R. Bradley Andrews said...

I have heard it posited that Paul had to have been married prior to his conversion (with his wife possibly leaving at his conversion) since that was needed for his previous position(s). Anyone with thoughts on if that is valid?

Anonymous said...

The implication of I Corinthians 9 is that marriage was the norm for apostles.

I Corinthians 9
5 Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?
6 Or I only and Barnabas, have not we power to forbear working?

Maybe Barnabas was single, or maybe he just did work aside from preaching for a living.

Christian women can certainly be attracted to 'alpha' traits in Christian men. Pastors can be tempted in this area. The pastor, as a leader, speaking to the crowd, etc. often has some 'alpha'. Christian husbands can also be 'alpha' in their decision making and sexual pursuit of their wives.

And we shouldn't be seeking to attract all kinds of women around us, either. One is enough.

Anonymous said...

Paul warned Timothy to flee youthful lusts which war against the soul and to treat the younger women like sisters, so he probably realized there were some temptations for a young man in an apostolic leadership role like he was.

Amazing_Craft said...

Each woman requirements to know how you can attract a mate into her life, or she will either end up childless and by yourself, or and probably even worse, she'll end up using the wrong man for her!

how to keep a man interested

Anonymous said...

This article is toxic.

Men of God, or men pursuing a deeper relationship with God: There's nothing more attractive than Godly men. And the attractive part cannot come from pretending to be a Godly man, but genuinely pursuing God and loving Him. It's a spiritual attraction, it can draw people in like a magnet. First of all, you're most likely to attract genuine women of God who aren't pretending, because both your souls will naturally be drawn to one another. I am a woman of God, and I can tell you that it is not only a spiritual attraction, but can turn into a physical attraction because when the Holy Spirit lives in your heart you men radiate with authority. Women are attracted to authority; to a man in charge. Not douche baggery.

The reason why people say that women aren't attracted to nice guys and are attracted to jerks has to do with the bi-product of that jerk behavior and niceness. 1. A jerks appears to be in charge. Women want a man of authority. 2. A nice guy can appear to not have any authority, which is why he gets labeled "nice", because it's not his call but the woman's. BUT, though a woman might be attracted to a jerk, she still desires some respect and to be loved and directed in truth.

Women don't want a jerk, and they don't want a nice guy pushover. What they desire deeper than anything in a man is a man of God. A man of authority, gentleness, truth, and the overwhelming beauty that radiates from him because the Holy Spirit shines from within.

Anonymous said...

If only these "godly" men could both talk the talk and walk the walk. Most of the time, they aren't genuine and true to themselves when it comes to their beliefs. They're "nice" not out of altruism but interest; they don't strive for the Holy Spirit's gifts; they're more concerned on doing what society expects and tolerates of good Christian men than being strong enough to go against the flow. It so sad to meet so many Christian men with zero ounce of wisdom. Why would I marry a guy who doesn't pray God for some wisdom, common sense, hindsight, intelligence, knowledge? How are you gonna be able to make sound decisions for your family when you cannot see underneath the obvious? How am I gonna be able to trust you if you aren't strong enough to have some self-restraint? What I find interesting is that non-Christian men, people, have more willpower to uphold and live accordingly to their moral and ethical principles or religious beliefs. I spent 3 years in a religious group and I can definitely say I came across the most hypocritical men I've met in my life: always talking the talk in front of the community but unable whatsoever to walk the walk. Attraction is not the problem here, it's the lack of integrity.

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WWKansas said...

Really? That is what the Christian life is all about? Am I missing the point of the post?

I want to think that you are just pointing out that being godly will drive away the fluff-heads who are just trying to get someone to improve their own status. As it should.

It should attract the right kind of woman who is seeking after godliness in her own life. but then, a woman like that is not going to go around swooning after that godly man.

I am hearing either bitterness or at the least discouragement in this post. Enlighten me.

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Fahim said...

Let me be blunt with y'all: you need serious help, because absolutely NONE of you (with the exception of Matt) know what you're talking about. Good Lord, you have seriously mixed up ideas about what constitutes and facilitates attraction and what doesn't. Do yourselves a favour, and stop investing (wasting) your time and effort in modern pick-up and seduction community theatrics and BS. Sure, you'll find some shining gems of truth but at the cost of wading through a sea of misinformation, toxicity, and subjective frameworks for understanding "in-field" observations. Look, this notion about 'hypergamy' and how it's apparently some sort of revelation just goes to show exactly how SOCIALLY INCOMPETENT Western culture is. I am from a traditional culture, with traditional power structures, and the notion of hypergamy is as obvious and clear as the idea that when you hold an item in midair, and let go--it will fall: gravity.

Heck, even the Bible emphasizes that the man is to uphold dominance and lead the family unit. The problem is, modern Christians compartmentalize their faith into pieces just as western science has made it habitual for humans to compartmentalize everything in their own lives. Women are SEXUALLY drawn to masculine traits. Period. Masculine traits and qualities can be expressed in a diverse array of ways. For example, a trait such as leading and driving can be expressed in so many ways. Some will resonate with a particular woman more than others. What is clear, however, is that being sexually drawn, in and of itself incomplete. Women, like all other humans, have an array of needs (sexual ones being amongst these). These needs are fundamentally interconnected (your hunger impacts your libido; your security impacts how horny you are too).

So, let me translate that for you: when a man is able to meet a woman's sexual needs (by creating a connection with her as a masculine man that can facilitate attraction in her), but is unable to meet other fundamental needs (assuming they are functional and actual impact her) such as her desire for a man who can lead her religiously as well, the sustenance of a stable marriage/RELATIONSHIP will be unlikely. Give a woman a man who stirs her soul sexually, but whom she resists due to an inner conflict between her beliefs and desires. Give a woman a man who stirs her soul sexually, and whom she SUBMITS TO due to inner harmony between her beliefs and desires. In fact, the latter will create amplified sexual attraction for one major reason. The conflict between desires and beliefs can manifest as making such desires very tempting. Every woman resists a man in some way, shape, or form and for some period (could be as short as a few minutes, or as long as months). But, attraction is achieved once the man's authority has been established and enforced, and if his personal orientation (ex. Christian) is such that it is compatible with the woman's (ex. also a Christian), and he is able to lead her through it--he will heighten her attachment to him, sexually and otherwise. Why? He is able to MEET her NEEDS.

You guys need to visit ManhoodAcademy and get a dose of SOCIAL COMPETENCE.

driftwood said...

It is common knowledge that women don't like nice guys and they like jerks. Well guess what? "Nice" and "jerk" are just euthenisms for good and evil. Women like evil men.

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Unknown said...

This article is untrue and ridiculous most women love powerful men and who can be more poweful then a man of God with God all things are possible
You forget king david,and daniel

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