The Beer Shield is a college-born social tactic that young men pick up in dive bars and house parties. It is a fallback technique akin to a security blanket that should be shamed out of men. Keeping a beer close to your chest is a sign of insecurity. It’s no different from playing with your phone in a bar. It tells the other people around you, “Hey everyone! I’m awkward and have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing with myself right now!” It signals desperation and confusion to the opposite sex. More importantly, it’s counterproductive to an approach mentality.I would be remiss if I did not mention that there is a much more serious and underlying problem on display here. By holding a beer, by drinking beer, by even being credibly identified as a beer drinker, a man is signifying that he is an illiterate peasant, of solid, but hearty stock, the sort of man thick-waisted farm girls with red faces and ankles the size and shape of overstuffed German sausages expect to meet out behind the haystacks. Civilized men who attract beautiful women drink wine, preferably red wine, although prosecco and lambrusco are acceptable alternatives in the summer heat or on Friday night with pizza.
Women see wine drinkers as intrinsically more wealthy, handsome, and sophisticated, because they are. What cultures drink wine? The French and Italian. What cultures drink beer? The German and the English. Now ask yourself this question: towards which cultures are women more powerfully drawn? Here is a hint: neither are known for winning wars or eating sauerkraut.
The amusing thing is that the wine/beer delta is such a powerful social signifier that even if you are at a bar with a group of men and you are the only one to ask for a glass of cabernet, syrah, or pinot noir instead of a "heinie" or a "bud" - notice how even the names of the hops-related beverages are declasse - some modern version of an agricultural helot is bound to make a comment on the order of "well, la di dah". This only shows that he is cognizant of your social superiority, as well as the likelihood that you are, unlike him, wearing clean underwear.
Beer looks and smells like urine, that's why they have to chill it to zero degrees Kelvin in order to make it halfway palatable. Wine looks like blood and smells like the velvety nectar of the gods. And let's face it, women have not bought 18 bazillion masturbation fantasies about men who drink piss. As we all know, women prefer bad boys, and what does a supervillain drink in his hidden mountain lair? An ice cold Coors Light or a 1945 Chateau Mouton Rothschild? A frosty Miller Genuine Draft or a 2006 Brunello di Montalcino? To ask the question is to answer it.
But don't accept my word as law, (although in this case it would clearly be the height of reason and good sense), go forth and live the science! The next time you're out in mixed company and the men are all calling for their infantile "beerz" in order to nervously suck on what are quite clearly pacifier substitutes, remain calm and order "something red" instead. Don't play wine snob and make yourself look like an ass, if you're asked, just tell the service that whatever happens to be open will suit you nicely. If you have to choose because you find yourself at some savage, godforsaken place where the proprietor doesn't already have two or three nice bottles going, choose the merlot over the cabernet; the less expensive merlots are always more drinkable than the cheap cabs.
Don't be surprised if people look at you strangely. Men will wonder if you've come into an inheritance. Women will find themselves contemplating when you became so stylish. Attractive women whose names you do not know will attempt to press their lips against you. And in time, you, too, will learn to develop a healthy aristocratic contempt for the beer-swilling masses. My point, in case it has escaped your hops-addled mind, is that if you're utilizing the beer shield, the shield is arguably the least of your self-inflicted handicaps.
This post comes courtesy of Badger, who isn't a bad sort even if he does live in a hut and drink peasant brew.
94 comments:
My new year's resolution was to take up drinking. With a bit of dedication I have persevered. However, despite trying numerous beers I still can't stand the stuff. Wine, on the other hand, is amazing. Everything about it is good. Recently tried Crown too, great stuff.
I often want to order wine but dont because I'm afraid girls will think I'm gay. I concede the culture and sophistication argument for wine, but lets face it, what man orders a glass of wine at a bar. A gay man, that's who. Which is why my go to adult beverage is a simple, manly cocktail. A gin and tonic or old fashioned. It distinguishes me from the beer chugging proles without making me look heterosexually suspect.
Which is why my go to adult beverage is a simple, manly cocktail.
It is true that chicks dig men who drink fruity cocktails. There is nothing that declares "I don't give a fuck, not even the tiniest little microfuck capable of being spotted by a Nobel Prize winner with an atomic microscope" as clearly as going into a working man's bar and ordering a Blue Hawaiian.
Extra points if you point to the drink in dismay and say "dude, where's my umbrella?"
Yow. Anything can be a social signifier of course, and it always depends upon context. In America, beer drinking at a frat party in college will push you into the herd. It's important to not just go along with that crap because of everyone else. But a pint of bitter with some mates in England? Excellent. Likewise, a glass of red with a juicy steak before heading off to the theater is amazing as well. Parse through characteristics and choose your lifestyle, categorical rejections seems silly. Though this post seemed rather tongue in cheek
what man orders a glass of wine at a bar.
The man that all the most attractive women want. Obviously.
Run out of your appletini again, did they Vox?
OF course, if all one is looking for is a roll in the hay...
Dirty Martini.......... I am always open to sharing a cheese olive... at price of course.
Beautiful women!?? Dude, we're trying to pork dirty club sluts here.
Anyway, wine game works best for when they've had their fill riding the carousel and are looking to settle down with the mystery man in the sharp suit who drove in in the Ferrari.
WTF? Drinking wine WILL make you stand out alright. Sure, if you are at a cocktail party with L.A., San Fran, or gay ol' Paris cocksuckers and want to fit in, order that pinot noir. I love the joke. At least I hope that is a joke. If you are going to let what your woman may (though probably not) want you to drink affect your behavior you might as well hand her your junk, car keys, house, and whatever else she wants (and will take in the divorce anyway) and be done with it. Oh, that's delicious. Oh, sure, I actually do like some wines, reds, whites, and champagnes, of all sorts. But I'm not going to drink them publicly as a normal thing. They will have to pry my beer (or scotch) out of my cold dead, chauvinist pig, neanderthal hands. (as they would put it)
As for a shield, heck yeah. It mark my territory. I don't want man or woman getting too close. At least I don't mark my territory with urine (any more). I like to see what is out there before committing. Listen, watch, then decide if I even want to stay. I was never looking for Susan Chatsall, of Phyllis Hiya!, I was looking for their cousin, Mary Jane Rottencrotch, when she was in heat. If you are serious, I'll... pray for you or something.
I assume drinking white wine creates the same general effect, though perhaps not quite as classy. I don't like red, personally.
There is nothing that declares "I don't give a fuck, not even the tiniest little microfuck capable of being spotted by a Nobel Prize winner with an atomic microscope" as clearly as going into a working man's bar and ordering a Blue Hawaiian.
Ha, ha... awesome. Sometimes I do order daiquiris when I'm out with my wife. Of course you have to maintain your frame in other respects or this really can get pretty gay.
That most interesting guy in the world drinks beer at times. Proof to me that it's alright.
Dave Foley acts it out.
If you make it an obvious enough a f*ck you gesture (and you already can do that shtick well), that is the only way I could see it working. Otherwise it is the wrong snobbery applied to the wrong setting.
Conversely, you could very loudly order ketchup in an expensive restaurant.
Two things here. If you drink beer and don't hold it close, someone can drop their false teeth in it and thereafter claim it as their own.
(This actually happens in New Brunswick)
The other is that although women like men who drink wine, if they drink wine with them and are in menopause, it will turn them into drunken, screaming harridans after the first 1.5 glasses.
Guaranteed.
Its a lose/lose thing. You will probably get laid but you will have to punch her in the face at some point.
Also, a coworker joked once that if have rum snobbery pinned down (this has to be done only with the most expensive rums), you could snob it out with the bartender, discussing the rums and demanding to taste a few of the top shelf stuff, and eventually when you have settled on one (making sure you have everyone's attention) to then order a Rum and Coca-Cola from it.
What about Bourbon, Scotch, or Whiskey? Those always seem to be identified with masculinity.
Apples to oranges. The beers mentioned in the article are the WNBA of hops. Try Founders, Stone, or Dogfish Head and see what beer is all about. Three Buck Chuck or Corbit Canyon are not cultured bar requests.
That's because they are masculine. Getting shit-faced obnoxious at a bar while drinking Whiskey, however, is not.
"What does a supervillian drink in his mountain lair?" Great! THIS is why I applied to Mad Geniuses For A Better Tomorrow!
Of course, they are making noises about my not having a hunchbacked assistant, but good help is SO hard to come by these days.
The true sophisticate drinks brandy and soda. If you're lucky, the bargirl may look blank and say, "What's brandy?" and you will have scored massive cool points. Brandy and Perrier is even better, if you dare!
American beer. 'Nuff said. I'm on the White Rabbit dark at the moment. Tasty.
http://www.whiterabbitbeer.com.au/the-beer.html
I'll stick to Scotch, unless at a mexican restaurant, then I go for the Margarita on the rocks. Will drink beer with the mob, or when in England or Germany and it seems like the thing to do. Of course I am happily married, so I don't spend any time trying to impress other women.
I'm not one to get shit-faced obnoxious at any bar, however, I am curious as to how it's perceived as I pretty much drink Wild Turkey 101 exclusively. Don't drink wine, and I don't drink beer either.
You precious little snowflake
Jack Daniels for me.
Come to think of it, if you aren't drinking just what you want, you aren't impressing anyone. You are just being a player, at best. Players get a rap for a reason. And they only get the girls the alphas didn't want, if them. If you want to impress a woman, own her. Make her your pet. Have her get you a beer. She might not smile appreciatively, with that crazy grin they get when you do something girly like order wine (definitely not approval), but deep down inside? Who cares. You have a beer. Date her sister if that is too harsh for her.
Beer is the foulest tasting beverage I have ever had the misfortune to try, what on earth is its appeal?
I enjoy ports but feel like its an old man's drink and sadly I'd kill a man for an Irish cream, coffe liquor and milk.
Ha, you know you've arrived when one of the guys you look up to is comfortable criticizing your stuff, and the tongue-in-cheek nature of the post is LOLable (in fact I lawled when it came up on my smartphone reader at a house party where I was mixing a cocktail at the time).
Vox makes a good point that commercial beer is identified with boorish, slovenly culture that is unbecoming of a worldly, sociosexually dominant man. I do think one could leave room for craft beer, which tends to be pretty tasty and also has some SWPL cred that is the opposite of proletarian.
I've long since distanced myself from "watchin' the game, havin' a Bud" culture. There are so many better ways for me to spend my time than getting pissed in the backyard playing beerpong. Natty Light is a crime. American marketing has long convinced the rank and file to down yellow, watery, pissy, tasteless swill and pretend they like it. Frat culture has touted light beers as the tools of drinking games to get girls drunk cheaply so they'll have sex with the gorillas. Sadly, many women never outgrow the habit of drinking bad beer (sometimes never outgrow the habit of drunken hookups either) - when I talk to women who "don't like the taste of beer," in almost every case they've never had anything you couldn't get in a 36-can cardboard box, and once exposed to brown ales, witbiers and porters, come to find at least one style that lights their palate.
On manly cocktails: I drink a lot of them, and have actually backed away from most of my beer-drinking as I've gone to a more paleo diet concept and gotten more grain-sensitive.
-Order drinks heavy on the base liquor with light touches of the cordial/sugar/garnish, like a manhattan, old fashioned or martini
-Never drink through the straw, throw the straw out
-No "frozens" (daiquiri/margarita on the rocks instead, and no pina coladas)
-Never drink a cosmopolitan
-Always order it in a rocks glass or low glass
I also advise against gimmicky drinks (red bull vodka, jaegerbomb) and anything with cola/diet in it. Get a real drink with your rum or whiskey, not something that's supposed to make it taste not like alcohol. To Vox's point about ordering wine, I find I stand out in the right way when I order a Manhattan against everyone else's shitty beer tab.
The Badger Hut (the hut is quite comfortable, Vox) will be posting soon a comprehensive series of treatises on cocktail culture.
"Anyway, wine game works best for when they've had their fill riding the carousel and are looking to settle down with the mystery man in the sharp suit who drove in in the Ferrari."
What they don't know is that the "mystery man" has already been banging her younger sister.
As I posted over at Vox's place:
As I sit here drinking my Imperial Stout I can hardly give a rat's ass what homos think about it as they drink the fruit of grapes. Sure Italians and the French are known for their amorous ways but there are a hell of a lot more Germans and English than French and Italians. Maybe its because it has to due with those swollen sausages that Vox is so fond of.
The "beer" shuffled forward as a watery strawman here is the equivalent of Wal-Mart's cheapest and most rancid box wine.
Bring me a frosty mug of Guinness Stout from the tap and I'll be happy enough. And any women who prefer to seek out the more fragile-stemmed sort are free to do so, it's not like I go to bars to pick up the sort of women who frequent them...
I have to admit I've become a drink snob somewhere along the way.
No cheap beers (unless you're out for Mexican food) or cheap liquor. I'll drink plain tonic water and lime if there's nothing good at the bar (and there are a lot of bad bars out there).
But I cannot see how anyone can say complex flavours like Stouts or IPAs are anything like piss. Sounds like snobbery borne of ignorance to me.
Vox, you need to try some Trappist ale from Belgium. It's as far from Budweiser piss water as a $20 Pinot is from a Boone's Farm fuzzy navel.
Vox, you need to try some Trappist ale from Belgium.
I have, actually. It's a favorite of a Belgian pastor I know.
Gin Martini for me. (Vodka is an abomination.)
Wine just doesn't have any guts to it. Beer is a tempter, though it doesn't satisfy like Beefeater.
Hmm... Some commenters here getting confused as to the gourmet nature of beer versus its use as a signifier in the act of Game. AG is absolutely right, red wine is the Alpha drink.
Spurious debates about craft beers are stoopid. Beers all look and smell the same (I used to run a bar). Try telling some chick its "a craft beer" and see how far that gets you. Chicks are visual, show them you drink red wine (white is considered lame). More classy, more sophisticated and dozens of other Alpha signifiers, too numerous to mention.
As a previous commenter noted, we have some great beers here in England. But we drink those when out stag with our mates. Also, beer (especially English "real" ales) has a quick and dynamic effect on the gastric system, trying to control belching and farting becomes a trial. Also, beer breath kills female interest at distances up to one mile.
Beer is also a good indicator of style/availablity in a woman. In England we have learnt to avoid women who drink beer, something which unfortunately is becoming more common. These women are often college-educated, who learnt to drink beer at unversity, to prove that "women drink better than men". Almost without exception they are tiresome, masculine hags with an agenda that they want to beat you with. Avoid women who drink beer, especially in England.
I have a reputation as a man who understands wine. Whenever I am out with friends they give me the wine list and say you choose. Women really admire this skill. It's pretty easy to pick up but gives bonus points.
Now that's funny. A Sci-Fi writer/video game programmer, which is slightly one rung above a corporate IT system repairman on the cool-guy ladder, ripping on beer drinkers. You've been hanging around those Euro fags for too long.
The Alpha Male Cocktail:
http://chefinjeans.com/2012/05/11/the-alpha-male-cocktail-a-guest-post-from-the-geographer/
By the way, if you read this:
Women see wine drinkers as intrinsically more wealthy, handsome, and sophisticated, because they are. What cultures drink wine? The French and Italian. What cultures drink beer? The German and the English.
and your instinctive reaction (as mine was) is to think, "But I'd *rather* be English or German. They're technologically savvy, smart, honest and industrious", then you're still mired in beta thinking. Don't worry, most of us are, and always will be.
It depends on what bar, your age, and your confidence. In Europe, wine is almost certainly viewed as sophisticated. Here in Toronto, wine is drunk by older men (who were told by their doctors that any more whiskey and they will die), by homos and by the occasional businessman trying to look sophisticated (I'm referring strictly as a beverage at the bar and not with a meal).
"(Vox) Which is why my go to adult beverage is a simple, manly cocktail.
It is true that chicks dig men who drink fruity cocktails. There is nothing that declares "I don't give a fuck, not even the tiniest little microfuck capable of being spotted by a Nobel Prize winner with an atomic microscope" as clearly as going into a working man's bar and ordering a Blue Hawaiian.
Extra points if you point to the drink in dismay and say "dude, where's my umbrella?"
Definitely agree. I have always had a sweet tooth and didn't give a f*ck what others thought. Except for the wine bit. Definitely with dinner but get bored of it fast as casual drink...if I want to appear sophisticated, I drink a vodka martini...plus they are great. Women always comment on martinis. Whether fruity or traditional. Wine runs the risk of looking like one is posing. Martinis simply stand out.
- Abaddon
Now I should not enjoy too much wine with my dinner. From time to time only in moderation. When I overdo it, it is piggish and reflects my personal pain not coolness. I usually end up saying something dumb and issuing an apology when it dons on me the next morning.
Moving along, I highly regard a man with specific knowledge of wines, liquors and even glasses. It is a cultural thing, like someone who cares about what exact oil they use in their car or truck or what tie they choose. It says alot of a man.
Of course, I don't judge them based on it but its a reflection of who they are. There is something charming about the right drink matched with the meal and the family/friends to enjoy it with.
When the race war comes, the civilized will be the first to go.
To the corner for another sixpack.
Points lost if you're overly-specific in ordering it though, since the name of the cocktail defines what's in it and how it's made. If the bartender needs instructions, you're in the wrong place. And negative points (better off with a Schlitz) if you order anything that ends in -tini other than a Martini. Plus, a Martini is made with Gin. If you want it made with Vodka, ask for a Kangaroo.
Why is it so complicated? So the pretenders stand out.
I wish we were neighbors, Vidad. The fun we would have!
Not frozen daiquiris, I hope.
Google Donn Beach (aka Don the Beachcomber) sometime. Dude invented the Tiki bar, had Hollywood starlets wearing hula outfits to his parties, and earned a Purple Heart and Bronze Star running freakin' R&R Hotels for air crews in the Med Theater during WWII.
Rum = Alpha drink.
Jameson Gold, Balvenie Portwood 21 years old, or Ron Zacapa Centenario 23 year old rum. And a cigar, at the very least a Rocky Patel 1992.
Not chasing babes, too married and too old. But, if I knew at 24 what I know now, forget the wine and beer. Get one of the above and a cigar.
That doesn't seem to be the case with the way Vox uses the term Alpha. (in touting its potential in non-PUA roles) If Alpha is simply "what women want more, sorry if you like something else but you've got to be this way" then it's different from what I understood Vox to be describing Alpha as..
If the ilk were ever to join up in person, it would create a massive singularity that would instantaneously collapse modern civilization and replace it with a horrifying new reality in which men would fight to the death over free will, alcohol, and the NFL... only to be resurrected the next morning to fight again.
VOXHALLA!
Hey Stickwick! You up to getting together? We'll bring the vittles.
Vidad wins the thread.
To hell with beer and wine.
It's whiskey or nothing.
With dinner I drink a Red, at a bar it depends, a gin and tonic can go well or a bourbon on the rocks can too.
If i'm at the pub with mates let the beer flow and f**k whatever women may think. I actually like drinking good beer plus I'm Australian, we drink beer, it's what we do.
Chronic beer drinking also reduces male testosterone levels. Something about how it's broken down in the liver.
I go for whiskey coke every time.
From personal experience, And what I have observed. A woman's greatest influence is being the exact opposite. Very girly girls tame a Man. Mean's we stick around to take care of the kid's. If she tries to manipulate me. Who cares. She knows I don't listen to any BS. Kid's thrive.
Oh come on VD, I know one Beer you would have to enjoy-Arrogant Bastard
"Spurious debates about craft beers are stoopid. Beers all look and smell the same (I used to run a bar)."
Nigger you best be trolling
Noice! That is my gig. If... I probably will never be able to afford it at a bar. Johnny Walker black, last time I even saw THAT was $15 a shot. Balvenie would be... what... $20? That's home drinking for me, but that's were I drink now anyway. And I can easily live with a Rocky. Hmm, you know... I'm going to have a snifter and a smoke now that you bring that up. Balvenie 21 and a Gurkha Ninja. I'll save the '92 for another time.
A gin martini avoids the hazards of both beer and wine.
Although I *have* been known to quaff a fruity umbrella drink from time to time...
Good, I hope I'm first! Bottoms up!
Frosty? You mean slightly cooler than room temperature, right?
This has got to be a troll post.
If you drink good beer, and you run in a fairly sophisticated set, they're aware that you're not swilling bud (or the overseas equivalents like Hienecken) and you'll be pegged as discerning and that counts for something. Abbey Ale ain't the least of it, with Zuur, Saison, Lambic, Gueuze, spice, brown, dubbel, trippel, farmhouse, and the 200 or so other varieties. There's also a trend in the east coast cities of Belgian gourmet & gastro pub restaurants, and people who actually know their shit wouldn't down somebody for drinking a nice Belgian, particularly if it's paired with the right food. And if you want to actually impress a woman with your unusual and sophisticated taste, order a bottle of lambic to go with a cheese & fruit plate. She's probably never had it, and I've never met a woman yet that dislikes lambic - plus it matches really well with most cheeses.
Eh, not like it matters though. My bar drink is a couple fingers of top shelf bourbon or single malt with an ice cube or two on the side, and yes, women always ask what it is. I always oblige, they almost always say it's too strong tasting for them, and I always explain that if it doesn't leave a strong impression on me, I'm not interested in spending a half hour with it.
"I love scotch, Scotchy Scotch Scotch. Here it goes down, down to my belly."
Says it right here on my shirt.
Single malt, neat. sip it slowly.
This blog hasn't just jumped the shark. Fonzie has launched himself over the ocean, through the atmosphere, and off the planet for a fabulously gay rendezvous with Mork.
I appreciate the "tongue-in-cheek" character of the post, but the twee embrace of feminine indicators is too clever by half: I am so manly, I can make a feather boa and pumps work, etc.
"What cultures drink wine? The French and Italian. What cultures drink beer? The German and the English. Now ask yourself this question: towards which cultures are women more powerfully drawn? Here is a hint: neither are known for winning wars or eating sauerkraut."
I'll let Fred school you on the character of nations:
There are two kinds of geniuses: one which above all engenders and seeks to engender, and another which willingly lets itself be fructified and brings forth. And similarly, among the gifted nations, there are those on whom the woman's problem of pregnancy has devolved, and the secret task of forming, maturing, and perfecting [i.e., the feminine] — the Greeks, for instance, were a nation of this kind, and so are the French; and others which have to fructify and become the cause of new modes of life — like the Jews, the Romans, and, in all modesty be it asked: like the Germans? [i.e., the masculine] — nations tortured and enraptured by unknown fevers and irresistibly forced out of themselves, amorous and longing for foreign races (for such as "let themselves be fructified"), and withal imperious, like everything conscious of being full of generative force, and consequently empowered "by the grace of God." These two kinds of geniuses seek each other like man and woman; but they also misunderstand each other — like man and woman.
-- Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, VIII. Peoples and Fatherlands [emphasis added]
The Germanic culture is manly. The French, womanly. (Please: save your NACALT arguments.) Men drink unsubtle barley swill that women turn their noses up at because men have the constitution (and the taste) for powerful things. Throat-burning scotch, whiskey, vodka -- even better. "Something to drink, Don [Draper]?" "Make mine big and brown."
The reputation of wine drinking calls for subtlety and delicate palettes, the tender sensibilities of poetasters weeping their doggerel metaphors of
Mmm... a little citrus... maybe some strawberry...
[smacks lips] ... passion fruit... [puts hand up to ear] ... and, oh, there's just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese...
[Jack:] Wow. Strawberries, yeah! Strawberries.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS9ocP6FNvM
Worst, the snarky, semi-sarcastic defense of wine-drinking is the most bitchy thing of all. There is a manly case to be made for wine. Metrosexual irony is not it.
Matt
I took me some time to acquire a taste for beer, and at that I prefer the micro-brews (a Belgian Trippel has been my favorite, but difficult to obtain as it is only available back in my home state). I couldn't understand the attraction to alcohol until I tried wine. It just happens like slightly obscure local wines and tend to prefer sweet as opposed to dry.
I have one simple rule at the bar. I order what I want right now, and nobody is going to change my mind. If it is a cheap beer, then poor that sucker in a tall cold glass. I just don't care what anyone thinks of what I drink. A place I regular has a bartender who is always trying new beers, wines, and whiskeys on me, because she knows I won't give her any bullshit on what I think should be said, but will give her the straight dope on what I think.
@orion try this if you can get it http://www.boulevard.com/BoulevardBeers/long-strange-tripel/
I'm young and found this to be true. The girls who I stay with the longest have been absurdly feminine. There would be a great deal of dom/sub, and I felt protective over them.
Frosty Guinness? WTF is wrong with you?
You can look like a douch or a cool fun guy drinking anything. Drinks are like pickup lines. It doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it.
I do however agree that holdin your beer/drink in front of you chest (Beer Shield) makes you look insecure. Hold you drink in your left hand and hold it down by your side. Left because you don't want your right hand cold and wet.
As far as the "not giving a shit what other people think" attitude goes,
drink whatever you like, because the only person who has to like the drink is you....
For utter manly sophistication and class, nothing beats a classic cocktail. Although I like it all, to varying degrees, I much prefer cocktails (Gin & Tonic, to be precise).
I detest wine-snobs just as much as I abhor lager louts.
To add to a comment above, Germanic cultures are more manly, which is why they are currently out of favour.
Ernst Jünger had this to say on the matter:
"All manly peoples today have a bad name; the Prussians are the prototype. In the interregnum, however, it is not mothers but hermaphrodites who prevail."
Alle männlichen Völker sind heut in Verruf; die Preußen sind der Prototyp. Im Interregnum sind aber nicht die Mütter, sondern die Zwitter maßgebend.
Ernst Jünger, Ernst Jünger – Carl Schmitt: Briefe 1930-1983 (1999)
"single malt with an ice cube or two on the side, and yes, women always ask what it is. I always oblige, they almost always say it's too strong tasting for them, and I always explain that if it doesn't leave a strong impression on me, I'm not interested in spending a half hour with it."
This. Right here. On so many levels.
Sensei,
That kind of a comment might unjustly accuse you of not knowing your beer.
That depends on where you are. A bar? Sure. A crowded party of strangers? Typical. While some think there is something about typical behavior that will net zero women or something, that isn't true at all. If you are completely your own animal only the freak girls will go for you. Just go goth or something if you are into that. In all things, whether being typical or atypical, moderation... and being yourself... are key.
And they fall all over themselves to demonstrate their superior beer knowledge... I just meant "chilled."
I was waxing poetic and "slightly cooler than room temperature" doesn't have much of a ring to it. I almost said "a mighty flagon," but decided to tone it down a notch. More the fool me...
" Now ask yourself this question: towards which cultures are women more powerfully drawn? Here is a hint: neither are known for winning wars or eating sauerkraut." --Depends on whether her romance novels have more suave, sophisticated lords or barbaric Vikings/Highlanders.
Awesome.
I go to a local bar 1-2 times a week when off. I have friends there. Some slightly shady, but I enjoy shooting the shit with them. I make no secret I am off the market. But I have seen hamsters take it to warp drive. Pretty funny.
Good humor Vox. I don't cut loose in public. Save's paying off the lawyers. Don't care much for wine. Unless it is mixed with 7-up. I am a proud prole. Modern life wouldn't exists without us.
This isn't even wrong, Vox.
First of all, the best wines are known by region, maker and/or castle, and not by varietal grape (cab vs. merlot is utterly declasse, not to mention nearly meaningless). Second of all, since this ain't the 70's any more, there are many fine craft beers available that are not only not piss, but rival the range and complexity of all but the most unaffordable wines. Any bar worth being in should have at least a couple local craft brews on tap. If Dogfish Head 90-min IPA is available, you'd be an idiot not to drink it. Third of all, top rank men, when they are thirsty, drink whiskey... neat.
So Vox lives in wine-laden Italy....red wine Italy.
Maybe his environment is coloring his round little glasses?
Second on Dogfish Head 90. I'm not into IPAs, they usually taste rancid, but I was happy to discover Dogfish. It's about to cross the threshold from boutique to trendy to mainstream, especially because of its elevated alcohol content.
I can't figure out if this is a joke post or not. "Aristocratic contempt" for beer-drinkers? You serious?
unless at a mexican restaurant, then I go for the Margarita on the rocks.
1 frozen limeade ( 12 fluid oz )
24 oz H2O
10 oz Sauza Conmemorativo
5 oz Gran Marnier
5 oz Cointreau
makes 8 to 9 drinks
pussies put it on the rocks. real men drink it straight. in a bar, this will probably be near $12 as a single drink.
it's called a "Zornarita". and no, it's not my invention. you find Zorno ... and he's not going to have any idea who "Jestin Ernest" is. heh.
But I cannot see how anyone can say complex flavours like Stouts or IPAs are anything like piss.
i find it more interesting that Vox makes pretensions to knowing what piss tastes like, that he can compare beer to it.
like someone who cares about what exact oil they use in their car or truck
Rotella 15w-40 is a pretty good, all purpose oil. don't be afraid to put it in a gas engine just because it's labeled "diesel", it's got much higher zinc content than the automotive formulations and that's a GOOD thing.
if you're really concerned about it, you'll go synthetic but ... frankly, it's unnecessary. keeping a strict filter / oil change schedule and using a quality oil filter is FAR more critical to long term engine survivability than the particular oil you're using.
To be honest I had never thought of it in this context before. I think in a way it's kind of silly to choose one drink over another to signify status because you should really just drink what you like. That being said drinking wine definitely makes you stand out from the crowd and that is never a bad thing. I can see the logic you used and I won't necessarily argue with it but I do think you are putting a tad bit too much weight on something so small and simple. Either way, neat article. I'll be reading some more.
A few points.
1. Cheap American macrobrew v. fine French wine is a false dichotomy.
2. Swilling beer isn't keeping the fighter jocks of the world from getting laid.
3. I think this generally is an interesting blog. But if you are really engaging in an analysis of what to order at a bar based on how you think women may perceive what you order, then YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
If you really think about what drink to order to attract a woman there is something WRONG. How is that Alpha????
Came here to laugh at the notion that an alpha male needs to drink crap he doesn't like so girls will like him. But Jimmy said it already.
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"Women see wine drinkers as intrinsically more wealthy, handsome, and sophisticated, because they are. What cultures drink wine? The French and Italian."
Yes, because everybody knows that the French and the Italians are the wealthiest countries in the world.
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