Monday, April 30, 2012

The alpha addendum

DP sends news of what is apparently an unspoken coda added to some women's marriage vows:
I recently married and should be bathed in newlywed bliss, but a rock star in a famous alternative band wants me to have an affair with him. I’m shocked and thrilled, to say the least. My conscience says, “Are you insane? You love your husband and chose him for a reason. Don’t jeopardize that!” But I’m also hearing “You only live once, and thousands of women wish they had this guy’s attention.”
This sums up female hypergamy in a nutshell. She's just gotten married, but simply because a man whom she only imagines thousands of women want has expressed sexual interest in her, she's genuinely considering attempting to trade up. The thing that is truly twisted about hypergamy is that she probably doesn't even have that much genuine interest in the rock star, she's more interested in being able to tell everyone that a rock star in a famous alternative band wants to have sex with her.

Of course, here is the ideal solution. She tells her husband the guy is sniffing around, they arrange for her to be alone with him for a few minutes, then she texts her husband, who comes in, "discovers" them, and kicks the guy's ass. She gets what she actually wants, the rock star gets what he deserves, and the husband scores some serious dominance points for beating down a sexual alpha. In reality, the husband should probably consider dumping her as soon as he finds out about this - and he probably will since it's clearly not the sort of thing about which she is likely to keep her mouth shut - since if she's this inclined to stray so soon after the wedding, it's only a matter of time before she does.

39 comments:

Wendy said...

That hamster is going full tilt against her conscience so much she's hoping a stranger will justify it.

Oh mercy. How embarrassing for our sex.

Bocaj6487 said...

I was just watching The Talk, which i can tolerate less and less of, but they were talking about if you can help who you fall in love with. They were admitting to hypergamy, and didnt even know it. And without this blog, i wouldnt know it either, so as a guy trying to climb the ladder, thank you.

Stickwick said...

"You only live once." The great justification for bad behavior. And yet, if people believed they lived twice, it would be all the more reason to screw up this time around. "I'll do better in the next one" or "It'll be a learning experience."

Daniel said...

a) What part of the marriage contract guarantees a bliss bath? Is she talking about the jacuzzi at the Holiday Inn suite?

b) Oh wow - a guy, in a band is interested in sex with a dumb girl. What an unusual circumstance! She really is special! She should wear her wedding dress to the bus. He and his drummer will probably not forget her for at least the weekend.

c) It is a good thing for the human race that women tend not to have consciences. If they did, there'd be a hell of a lot more convents and suicides.

d) The most interesting aspect is the fact that this woman took the time and effort to write of her anticipated sins in public. Advice? She isn't seeking advice. I'm pretty sure you can look up whether adultery is a bad idea or a good idea in the dictionary.

The fact that she is so proud to be both a horrible bride and grunge-band slutworthy that she writes to the newspaper about it is pretty amazing. Groom needs to eject eject eject before it gets any more costly. Of course, that's going to jeopardize her affair prospects, as the band guy isn't going to want to risk an entanglement with a needy divorcee, so maybe the Groom should be nice to her and stay married until she gets her moment in the sun with Phil Spector.

You may only live once, but moronic is eternal.

HeligKo said...

Uhg, Is this woman serious? Of course not. If this is a real question, she is seeking validation that this is something that should be okay, since it is a unique experience. The problem of course comes in, when she tries to return to her husband, and she has completely trashed the pair bonding with her husband. Funny that she mentions the rocker in 50 years. I think most men see that when they get married, and the women just see the bigger and bigger houses they are going to get, and jump off the train when there is no hope of something better.

HeligKo said...

That should have been holding hands in rockers, not the rocker she wants to get plowed by.

Retrenched said...

"'Til death do us part. Or 'til a hotter/richer/more famous guy shows interest in me, whichever comes first."

CAB said...

"You only live once." The great justification for bad behavior. And yet, if people believed they lived twice, it would be all the more reason to screw up this time around. "I'll do better in the next one" or "It'll be a learning experience."

Which is why a belief in the afterlife, and judgment for how one lived, is so crucial to moral living.

“Religion, opium for the people. To those suffering pain, humiliation, illness, and serfdom, it promised a reward in an afterlife. And now we are witnessing a transformation. A true opium for the people is a belief in nothingness after death—the huge solace of thinking that for our betrayals, greed, cowardice, murder we are not going to be judged.” - Czeslaw Milosz

Mike M. said...

CAB, your quote reminds me of an observation by Will and Ariel Durant. They concluded that religion is a strong stabilizing force in society, precisely because it gave a code of conduct with more credit that the whim of the local government, back with the threat of inescapable punishment and the promise of undeniable reward.

And when a culture loses its faith, things start going wrong across the board.

Yohami said...

You´ve got a RomCom movie there.

But of course she wants the rockstar, the fling at least, it's a thrill, plus she gets some semen to make a baby, and another guy to take care of her while she regrets her mistakes.

And then the camera travels to when she's 42 and she's advising younger girls to do the same.

Bocaj6487 said...

The sad, disgusting truth.

rycamor said...

A truth that I am sure we will have our faces rubbed in for ensuing decades.

Trust said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trust said...

So here choices are as follows:

1. Stay faithful
2. Cheat
3. Divorce

The first would require her to disregard her hypergamous and solipsistic desires, so it is out.

The second and third go against her image, and the rhird would require her to take responsibility for her decisions. So they are out.

So, she'll probably invent a fourth option:

4. Cheat and make the husband the culprit. This leaves her image as a faithful wife in tact, because she would never be driven to cheat if her husband were more attentive, thus also giving her an excuse for the likely divorce. We have a winner.

Celebrities not withstanding, this adultery/divorce scenario is far more common than most realize.

Anonymous said...

Vox has a spot on analysis of the situation again here. With this one in his closing being the key: "since if she's this inclined to stray so soon after the wedding, it's only a matter of time before she does". Their marriage was over before it started. Unless that is the husband is kosher to an open one (marriage).

This cat is in an alternative band. Not to categorize, but yes absolutely to categorize. He is likely a very big pussy and an ass kicking is probably long overdue here. Unlike say dealing with a hardcore metal guy who is gonna bang a guys wife. Like an old running buddy of mine back in the day. Who if he got wind of somebodies old man wanting to kick his ass...would simply just vent by writing a song about getting five minutes alone with him. And then continue on with his unrelenting stage rage and hordes of psychotic followers. Along of course with mixing in a little good old fashion mano a mano violence. In the vastly underrated art of American boxing. To help keep himself in shape and prevent these types of happenings.

Disclaimer: I should note there are a few exceptions to the hardcore metal/punk types. Such as that midget (w/little man syndrome) who went running around telling anybody and everybody what a badass krotty black belt he was... Until some nobody kid in an opening band one shot-ted him into oblivion to close his trap. That dumbass never realized that the only thing a martial arts belt is good for is to hold up his pants...he learned though.

LZ said...

Have you seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"? TV Star gf dumps musical score writing bf for rock star. Main character is terminally beta (as in almost every Hollywood movie), but the gf eventually tires of rock star, but too late.

Anonymous said...

I loved the Vox's message. CAB, you're completely correct and I would like to add what I think is some historical support for your claim. When the first creation story (Genesis 1) was written (or inspired if you're so inclined), one of its principal insights is that time is linear contra the pagan view of time (cyclical ala Groundhog day). In his magisterial commentary on Genesis, Bruce Waltke makes the point that when time is viewed as linear, events today have consequences tomorrow. History becomes instructive. The very point you make in your reply.

Great post and reply.

Michael

Stingray said...

What happened to Hypergamouse?

Carlotta said...

Sigh.

TLM said...

You mean Danzig? What an ass.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Danzig the ultimate mouthboxer. And of course Phil, whom I knew long before his Tera days. When he played in the little known Razor White. Often playing in a tiny hole in the wall called the Cartoon Lounge, if my somewhat clouded memory serves correct. But we sure had some mad after parties back in the day during their weekly Circle in the Square (Tera) gigs in Shreveport. Still have some stage diving pics around here somewhere...good times, real peeps.

Desert Cat said...

She's certainly giving her little guy quite the workout there.

Nate said...

oh for crying out loud... Laminated lists people!

its a given that if I am off on some epic motorcycle adventure and happen to run into Jessica Alba... I'm gonna hit it. if Jessica insisted on speaking to my wife about the activities... My wife would simply tell to enjoy herself and express her regrets for not getting to play too.

At some point people... to hot to turn down comes into play. Everyone should understand this.

Nate said...

Short Man Syndrome was invented to explain Danzig's behavior. God I love the video of the big bald dude kicking his ass.

Stingray said...

i wondered when someone would bring this up. Who's on your wife's list? ; )

Bocaj6487 said...

Nate, you cant supersede sacred vows with "too hot not to fuck"

SouthTX said...

Would have dumped her. Everbody tells me I can't deny my kid's. That's why I put up with PMS.

SouthTX said...

Ladies, a clue. If you find a husband. Go honey badger against the world to look after him. If he is smart, you will lock him down. He will be a provider, and help take of the kid's. Otherwise, its a screwed situation.

Josh said...

Vox...


and Jamsco...

Stingray said...

HA!

Nate said...

Nah... Vox is to short for her.

Nate said...

there are all manner of ways around this... the most efficient is to simply take the "to hot" girl on as an additional wife.

SouthTX said...

"care"

Anonymous said...

"My wife would simply tell to enjoy herself and express her regrets for not getting to play too."

The Jessica Alba Unicorn...

SouthTX said...

Experience tells me the Bibical model of Marriage is the best for all parties involved. For the Husband, Wife, and Kids. God know's what He is doing. You will be grateful when your kid's start courting and make good choices.

SouthTX said...

Be an Old school Dad. They have a better chance of meeting potential choices of Spouse's from similiar backgrounds. With no baggage.

SouthTX said...

My Love of Christ's compelles me. But i think I know my sin nature well enough. If I didn't know the Truth, it wouldn't end well for my soul. Too much temptation.

Anonymous said...

lzozlozozlzlozozozoz

the bill of men’s rights

lzozllzllzl every man shall have the right to

1) a womenz who hasth been butthexed less than 4 times
2) said 4 times not being done in the same night nor two consecutive nights niether lzozlzl
3) said butthexing events not being secretly taped without her conthent
4) no woman shall have a right to her husbands assetts if he comes home and finds her banging the poolboy ontop of his ps3 controller, thusly damaging said controller lzozl that would suck
5) wehnu ask a women how many poeple she has been with it wil be law that she will have to verbally multiply her anser by 10, and then add at least half the ass cocking sesssions which still count as sexth in certain religions lzozlzlzl
6) no man shall be made to fund a pussy that it out banging biker drummer cock, nor shall any man be made to pay for past use of a pussy lzozlzlzlz

i think that if we can pass this men’;s bill of rights into law, 90% of marriages will last lzozl.zlzlzlzlzl lzozllz which is why the butthex congreth and fiat masters will rail against my sublime logic reason phsilophy and religion lzozlzlzzl

lzozozozozoz

Like a G-6 said...

Don't beat the man, beat the cheating harlot!

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.