Sunday, March 4, 2012

Alpha Mail: ungrateful little bitches

A mother considers female entitlement:
This past Thursday, my son and I dropped my two daughters off at dance class and proceeded on to the gym to work out. Afterwards we went to the grocery store. My son wanted a candy bar and told me he’d pay for it and he would also purchase two more candy bars for his sisters. I told him that was fine and helped him choose which candy bars to buy for his sisters.

I had no compunction to make him pay for the candy but as we were getting into the truck, he took $3.00 out of his wallet and handed it to me. I told him “That’s okay, you don’t have to give me your money.” He said, “Mom, I dug this out of my wallet already for you.” He seemed intent on paying for the candy and wasn’t going to give in.

When we arrived to pick the girls up from their dance class, my son handed them their candy bars. To which they responded with complaints that those were not the candy bars they wanted. They bickered and complained so much that I had to intervene and scold them that if it weren’t for their brother purchasing the candy for them, out of his own money, they would have nothing. I was stunned.

“Ungrateful little bitches” is kind for what I was thinking. How did we go so wrong as parents?

This turned into a fantastic learning opportunity. We have had in depth discussions of God’s word and the irrational nature of women (and the propensity towards unmerited and undeserving expectation). The whole experience has been wonderful for me to have witnessed the generous nature of my son and his inclination to provide. And, an eye opening realization that unless we as parents root out the “free candy bar” indignation of our daughters, we will have failed.
It is interesting to see how one little incident can open our eyes to the various aspects of Game. This should be extremely educational for the male Delta, who can see a very clear demonstration of how little his gifts, labors, and sacrifices can be expected to avail him. And it is also useful for women, who can see how easy it is to rise above their romantic rivals in male eyes by the simple expedient of expressing simple gratitude for the services provided by another.

Where the reader has failed, to date, with her daughters is in not crushing the spirit of entitlement out of them. This is not to say that boys don't also have one, only that they are a) less naturally inclined that way, and b) less permitted to get away with expressing it. Now, I wouldn't recommend going all fire and brimstone on even the most obnoxious young woman - you deserve nothing but to burn in the endless fires of Hell! - but I think PJ O'Rourke expressed it exceedingly well in his article entitled Fairness, Idealism and Other Atrocities.
I've got a 10-year-old at home. She's always saying, "That's not fair." When she says this, I say, "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. Your family is pretty well off. That's not fair. You were born in America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you."
One can't merit gifts or they would not be gifts in the first place. The only correct response to a gift, no matter how ill-conceived or unwanted it might be, is to smile and express gratitude, for the kindness of the thought if not the perspicacity of the giver's judgment. The possession of a vagina is no doubt a wonderful thing, but it does not endow its owner with any expectations of tribute from anyone.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want to know what the brother thought, and if his thoughts (women, feminism, entitlement, etc.) changed before and after the incident.

Anonymous said...

LOL. First world problems.

OzGirlie

Trust said...

I find it telling that large gatherings of men, such as the Promise Keepers and Million March, focus on how men can do a better job of giving, wheres large gatherings of women, such as NOW events and the Million Woman March, all focus on how women can do a better job of getting.

Anonymous said...

You Said It, Bitch!

stg58 said...

Good for the mom. I would be instantly snatching the candy bars out of the little brats' hands, and giving it to their mother, who is much more grateful than those two little hellions were.

The gift of chocolate can make my wife do amazing things.

Desert Cat said...

"The possession of a vagina is no doubt a wonderful thing,but it does not endow its owner with any expectations of tribute from anyone."

Oh, it most certainly does! That is the problem. What it does not do is merit those expectations.

patrick kelly said...

re:stg58

Yeah, don't trust a woman who doesn't like chocolate.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, the brother will remember this when he starts dating. I had an annoying little sister myself, and tend to believe that experience helped me a great deal once puberty hit. You can't put 'em on much of a pedestal if you spent 12 years wanting to beat the stuffing out of one.

SarahsDaughter said...

"I want to know what the brother thought" -Anon 3:18AM

I asked him. He said, "I didn't really care all that much, they were being girls."

Boogeyman said...

Im basically the foster father to my neices and nephews and faced this problem a few times myself. If they don't like it I take it from them and maybe something else they do like.

If they really dont like it I make them eat it.

SarahsDaughter said...

"Where the reader has failed, to date, with her daughters is in not crushing the spirit of entitlement out of them." - Vox

I'm so thankful that I'm starting to recognize it.

My daughters have genuinely asked, "how do we stop the hamster?" I told them what I do...pray and don't speak.
Suggestions welcome.

Anonymous said...

"My daughters have genuinely asked, "how do we stop the hamster?""

That made my day.

Stingray said...

SarahsDaughter,

I do my utmost to bombard the damn thing with logic. It can take forever at first and over time it shuts up faster and faster. Praying also helps. The combination of the two is best, I think.

Stingray said...

The other thing I do, when the hamster is especially stubborn, is go to my husband. He then, will speak rationally about the situation and bring me back to reality. The girls could talk to you or your husband (likely depending on the situation) to bring themselves around.

This might help them later, as well, in choosing a good husband.

revrogers said...

SarahsDaughter,

I suggest praying specifically according to these realities:

Every choice creates effects (consequences)

Every choice creates limitations

Prayer should seek wisdom in discerning the effects that would potentially be created in the words said and actions taken and what contextual limitations are thus created if the words are said and actions taken.

It is about realization of responsibility that follows one's choices.

JCclimber said...

Your son should have requested the girls do something for him or you to "earn" the candy bars. Like show which new thing they learned in class or some other minor thing.

It helps with the entitlement complex, helps your son become a gamma, AND they'll enjoy the taste of the candy much more because they "earned" it. Triple win.

Watch their eyes light up as they have to do some trivial little task for the candy.

Sad to say, this works on adults too.

SarahsDaughter said...

Thank you Stingray and revrogers, great stuff!

JCclimber...you'll love this: tonight I needed to run to the store, I also had grading to do and supper to make so I asked my husband if he'd run to the store for me. He didn't want to. The kids were all listening to the exchange at first. A few minutes later my husband left for the store and my girls asked, "Why is he going to the store for you?" I told them they don't want to know. They pressed me so I told them "exchange of sexual favors."... "gross Mom, why do you tell us things like that."

"You asked."

JCclimber said...

Not really, as that should be a given (unless it was something extra).

I actually meant candy. I use bite-sized candy bars sometimes for answering questions correctly for oral quizzes, and this is for middle-aged people in a company which is highly paid, and surrounded by free food and snacks.

And yet it still works. It even works if we just had a great (free) catered lunch with nice desserts.

Mike M. said...

Daughters without hamsters? I'm not sure if that's a cheerful thought...or terrifying. :-)

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