I am at a hotel. I think I'm dying. I have a bruise from where the Farmer slammed me into our bed post. I took the kids and went to a hotel so I could have time to think. I think I need to move into a hotel for a month. The Farmer told me that he will not beat me up any more if I do not make him stay up late talking to me.He's right. I suffered worse "violence" playing indoor soccer last week. It was nine days ago and you can still see the mark on my knee. Being shoved isn't violence, it isn't getting beat up, and it is an insult to every man and woman who have suffered real violence to claim that it is. Is it nice? No. Is it polite? No. Is it indicative of problems in a relationship? Quite possibly. But only a mentally deranged woman would conclude it justifies calling the police and running off with the children.
If you asked him why he is still being violent to me, he would tell you that I’m impossible to live with. That I never stop talking. That I never leave him alone. How he can’t get any peace and quiet in his own house. That’s what he’d tell you.
And he’d tell you that I should be medicated.
Especially when she admits that the husband describes her as "emotionally abusive". The fact that she has put all of this out there on her blog tends to prove his case. I'd read Trunk a few times when other people linked to her and wondered why people put such stock in the opinions of an obvious nutcase. But perhaps she'll be able to find a new crowd writing victim porn for Jezebel.
19 comments:
Link seems to be broken
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2011/12/28/the-psychology-of-quitting/
@Huggums: There's a link on Roissy's blog if you follow it from the right hand column on this blog.
"The Farmer told me that he will not beat me up any more if I do not make him stay up late talking to me.
If you asked him why he is still being violent to me, he would tell you that I’m impossible to live with. That I never stop talking. That I never leave him alone. How he can’t get any peace and quiet in his own house. That’s what he’d tell you."
Woman can't even take an ultimatum from the guy at face value. What part of "SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP" doesn't she get? Mentally deranged, indeed.
Yep. Pretty much typical of American women.
How incredibly clueless she is, about how she is driving him absolutely nuts. Because the vast majority of men have been taught NOT to hit as a first, second or third reaction, because in the world of men, starting a physical fight can have serious, deadly consequences.
He should have tried my solution. Give your wife time at dinner, and some time later in the evening, to do all her "catching up" talking. Then bring earplugs to bed, and when you're ready to sleep, ask her if she has any further sentences to say before you insert them. Give her 5 more minutes. Then it's bed time.
Haven't needed the ear plugs for several years now.
the best thing about this "DV" incident? she's already back with him. the 'abuse' post is from the end of Dec. check the most recent blog entries.
you've also got to love her inappropriately revealing picture. either she's got her brazilian thong panties pulled way up above her hip or she's just published a nude photo of herself to the entire planet. and there's no reason for it. the simple way to have done this would to have used a mirror or simply pull her pants down over her hip.
she's an attention whore and that's all that anyone really needs to know about her.
her first blog? Brazen Careerist. no accident, that.
Yeah, we had this kind of situation in our house (I was the child there). She would literally not allow him to go to sleep, at midnight, and later, asking him pointless questions, etc. He of course, had the option to go out, but then she would either 1) threaten to kill herself 2) emotionally/mentally abuse me the same way. It was hell on earth; it was like this every day.
Unfortunately, I now live with the Mom and suffer similar problems. I was the one who asked advice about the attitude I should take towards my mother here a few days ago.
The problem is that she isn't doing anything that a third party would understand as wrong. She would justify her actions by saying that "she was just asking an innocent question", or something like that.
Yeah, it took me a while to figure out that men just can't absorb that much yakking. Even we women can't take that much yakking when it isn't coming out of our own mouths.
What saddens me is the degree to which many women have NO idea they're emotionally abusing their men. They're not even open to the concept. So, a man suffers and suffers and suffers, and when he finally can't take it anymore, he responds the only way he can to defend himself from the onslaught. Even then, it's likely with great restraint compared to how he would react to an attack from another man. But he is cast as the monster, and she the victim. It's a terrible shame.
And it doesn't have to be that way. Women used to understand a thing called feminine wiles -- how to get what you want through charm and cleverness. Before any married man is ever required to take an anger management class, his wife should be required to take a course on feminine wiles.
Anonymous, I would recommend you go on Amazon and pick up a used copy of "Games People Play", which explains transactional analysis.
Read it first, then start reading up on other similar books. It can quickly teach you how to counteract her in such a way that it is permanent. In some way, you are playing a role in her drama, which is feeding her some kind of reward.
I think most psychoanalysis is BS, but have had to laugh out loud as I read this book, as it so accurately describes so many of the "games" (often sick and dangerous) that people play.
Ah, too early in the morning for this overly emotional 'suffering'.
Yet, these are the women with the jobs, husbands and money.
I write it off to female solipsism, a concept I recently learned about here. Ever since that post, I've seen it jump out in women all around me. A friend of mine has a manager who wants him to throw away and rebuild an enterprise ERP system he's spent years building because she can't communicate what she wants to see on a report, so the system itself must be defective.
I commented here a couple weeks ago about how I've never heard a divorced woman admit any responsibility for the divorce. I've never heard one say "Yeah, if I wasn't such an ungrateful, cold-hearted bitch, I might not have driven him away." I've read Penelope's posts on her divorce. She blames it on her asperger's.
"I am at a hotel. I think I'm dying."
We can hope right?
Hope is a good thing. Sometimes, the best of things.
That Trunk could use a little more junk. Maybe The Farmer was just trying to swell her ranks a little - she seems to indicate that in her later post about why she's staying with him.
What I don't understand is why he's staying with her.
Holy crap. I wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be my ex wife's blog.
Ladies, understand something: every government who has ever tortured anyone for information about anything has figured out that SLEEP DEPRIVATION is an effective method for driving people insane. Aside from my wife (new, not ex) and one exgirlfriend, no woman I have had a relationship with let me sleep. My married male friends who are visibly seconds away from a homicidal rampage are all deprived of sleep. Every time they get close to that sweet sweet slumber, "if I died, would you remarry? I bet you would. You'd probably marry that whore you work with, Kandi. Only whores are named Kandi, and that's why you like her, isn't it? Why don't you love me? Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" and that's the abridged edited paraphrased version.
If your feelings get all hurty when your man goes to sleep, seek help, get medication, buy some duct tape... Something. You are the problem. Not sleep.
Good lord. You read down to the end, and this chick is so screwed up, she messed up her parents counseling, and by her own admission, got a lot better when she was LOCKED UP IN A PSYCH WARD. Yeah, the farmer isn't the problem. This chick is nuts.
No one should ever put their hands on their spouse. And no one should psychologically torture their spouse, either. "I know it's my fault." yeah, it is. After somewhere between 48 and 72 hours without sleep (without meth or coke to help you out) you go literally insane. Not virtually, literally. Drive someone to insanity, and they'll do insane things like "beat" you (of course, by beat, I mean not taking into consideration the proximity of the bed post when he pushed her).
It's really that simple.
Anon,
The only reason anyone would willingly endure psychological warfare for: he's staying for the kids.
Stickwick writes: "What saddens me is the degree to which many women have NO idea they're emotionally abusing their men. They're not even open to the concept. So, a man suffers and suffers and suffers, and when he finally can't take it anymore, he responds the only way he can to defend himself from the onslaught."
My wife grew up watching her mother treat her father this way. She wisely decided not to make the same mistake when she got married. Apart from his staying for the sake of the kids, I honestly don't understand how my father-in-law withstood thirty plus years of it. (To argue with my mother-in-law is to watch all facts and reason vanish instantly beyond a solipsistic event horizon).
After the divorce, FIL has been relaxed and pretty much enjoying life with his girlfriend. MIL still complains about what a spectacular monster he was.
"To argue with my mother-in-law is to watch all facts and reason vanish instantly beyond a solipsistic event horizon."
You know I'm really glad concepts like female solipsism are finally being slowly diffused into the general population.
Places like Roissy and related blogs are the cutting-edge psychology laboratories, like MIT would be in engineering. Then it slowly trickles out to state schools like this blog here, and then the public picks up on it.
This proves the in mala fide view on solipsism. Then again, this is a good lesson in blogging as even I could overuse me, me, and me.
Overall, I feel more sorry for the husband than her b/c his reputation may be greatly injured by her ramblings.
Overall, I feel more sorry for the husband than her b/c his reputation may be greatly injured by her ramblings.
this is a good point; from a strategic viewpoint, this is just a rather extreme example of a woman publicly abusing her man and running him down.
You do know that slamming someone into a bed post is a good way to accidentally kill somebody, right? Don't do that. Leave if you're ever driven to do that, and don't look back.
And yeah, shut the hell up and let people sleep. Hell, the woman's got her own blog, why not use that when you just have to say something and no one is awake to listen to it?
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