Saturday, December 17, 2011
Fire away
I don't have a FAQ here yet, so in the process of putting one together, I'd like to invite you to ask any Alpha Game-relevant questions you might have. I shall do my best to answer them, within reason. But please keep in mind that I'm not going to answer any personal questions that concern my relationships; if you're looking for vicarious thrills, I suggest you consider visiting Athol's site.
39 comments:
How does your take on game if at all differ from Roissy's, Rooshv's, Mystery's, etc?
What are some of the most common mistakes men make that game theory can fix?
If someone is looking to apply Game to his life, what would you identify as the most important change/action to take to get started?
Some things that were unclear for me:
- How game relates to being a Christian.
- Is it all just about getting as much sex as you can? (Implied by the links to Roissy and others.)
- How game relates to being a Christian.
This is quite simple, really. Game is about what behavior will cause women, on average, to like you and what behavior will cause them not to like you.
Any religion may mandate some things of the latter and/or forbid some of the former. It is your own responsibility to come to a conclusion of which those are.
He asked for FAQ items. I still think it is relevant, especially given his own positioning on his other blog. :)
What moves a man more towards the alpha end of the spectrum: Very high levels of skill/ability (e.g. being well known as one of the best lawyers in town), or social dominance?
1) Since you don't believe in evolutionary psychology, what is your basis for believing in the utility of game?
You will probably say "observation" as well as testimonies from people who applied game and experienced success. Yet, can one not apply the same reasoning to arrive at the conclusion that a girl equivalent of 'game' works equally well? Since one can just as frequently (there are studies to support this) see ugly woman - handsome man pairings as vice-versa. The woman in these relationships is usually the assertive and confident one in contrast to the man.
This phenomena are probably the basis for books like Why Men Marry Bitches.
2) There was recently a study (which I sent you via email) that purportedly showed that women can enhance their attractiveness via education, and wealth and appearance are the most important factors that contribute to a man's sex appeal. Both of these propositions run contrary to the various assertions from game theorists. What is your take on that?
3) More on whether testimonies/field reports are sufficient to establish the truth of game. Blogger Roosh, widely considered a master pick-up artist, said that approximately 1 out of 20 of his approaches result in sex. Tylor Durden gave a figure of 1%. How does this compare to what you consider to be natural ALPHAs? I could be wrong, but I don't get the impression that good-looking, wealthy, and famous men have to approach so much to get a positive response from a woman. Indeed, if you play the numbers game, you are guaranteed to get laid eventually no matter what your attitude is, even if you are a "nice guy".
I note that I am not an opponent of game. I am in the process of studying it, and would be quite pleased if it happen to really work. But these are some of the stumbling blocks I've come across.
There's probably more, but these are off top of my head.
"Any religion may mandate some things of the latter and/or forbid some of the former. It is your own responsibility to come to a conclusion of which those are."
But wouldn't it be silly not to include that in a relevant FAQ? It's probably the #1 question for Christian guys who visit this site.
I get that thinking for ourselves is a good thing, but red-pill takers don't have a lot of trustworthy information to work with. I wouldn't mind standing on the shoulders of this particular giant.
But wouldn't it be silly not to include that in a relevant FAQ?
I'm not making any claims about that.
1) What, in your opinion, gives the most bang for the buck (figuratively speaking) in the beginning/intermediate stages: emulation of positive behaviors, elimination of negative behaviors, other?
2) What unorthodox sources* can be used to help effectively understand and adopt alpha tendencies, and are these sources better suited for one particular type of alpha (sexual, social) over others.
* Non-PUA literature and material, i.e. The Dog Whisperer (Ceasar Milan)
I would comment that many game principles seem consistent with the fallen nature of women (and men for that matter) as discussed in Genesis. The point being that it doesn't require evolutionary psychology.
Remember, even if Common Descent is not true, God would still have had to design life in such a way that it could survive the changing environment for a very large amount of time.
Therefore, many of the features predicted by natural selection would be those very features necessary for the survival of intelligently designed life.
Tell me everything about Spacebunny's body and what sex with her is like. Also post videos and pictures of it.
What is a wife to do who has a non-alpha husband?
I'm a Christian. My Christian wife just left me after 15 years. Just got my first date, using an early neg. I'm 1-for-1 in using game so far, and have turned away two women who don't meet the level of beauty I expect.
Questions: How can a single Christian most effectively apply game to the dating scene? I don't attend a traditional church, so the whole "I'm looking for a husband to be Jesus to me" thing won't apply.
Also, can you show me some loopholes in Scripture that let me bang? Been looking...
I don't know if these would be FAQ items, but here's what I've been pondering:
I'm not a typical woman, in behavior or interests. When everybody else was learning fashion and social skills, I had my nose in a book. Proportionally, I understand men better than women. (It helps that men are simpler.)
Two questions. First, as a STEM teacher, how can I use the concepts of game in interactions with men as colleagues and students? I doubt anybody would want to see me trying to act totally masculine, but on the flip side, I'm not trying to get a date. I just want to earn respect and be a pleasant person to be around.
Second, is there a counterpart to game theory that explains women's social interactions? Alternatively, since I have more than my share of masculine traits, can I somehow use the principles of game, even though I'm a woman, to avoid the minefield?
I just want to earn respect and be a pleasant person to be around.
Two entirely different things. You earn respect by producing results in what you were hired to do, and doing what you say you will. Even if there are unexpected complications.
You are a pleasant person to be around by not deliberately causing anyone to feel bad in overt or covert words, deeds or actions unless it is absolutely necessary, and sincerely apologizing if you notice having done it by accident.
Remember, although there are some disadvantages to being a woman, one major advantage is that the opposite sex is MUCH more straightforward to deal with.
As a Christian, what would you teach your young son regarding premarital sex and the power of pre-selection? Let's be honest, it's a horrid Catch-22 in modern times. It was tough enough for me as a serious Christian in the 80s and it has only gotten worse. Any young man with the slightest clue realizes that the Christian guy who goes through his "backslidden" wild years gets rewarded for his transgressions after he repents and comes back to the fold. The Church loves a good reformed sinner with an arm-long list of salacious stories, and the sweet young Christian girl will have stars in her eyes for this guy long after she marries him. Meanwhile, the guy who plays it straight (celibate until marriage) stands a good chance of ending up the chump.
So, how best to counter this? Or do you even hold that it should be countered? (if the final part of the question borders too close to theology, I understand)
"What would you teach your son. ... The Church loves a good reformed sinner with an arm-long list of salacious stories, and the sweet young Christian girl will have stars in her eyes for this guy long after she marries him. Meanwhile, the guy who plays it straight (celibate until marriage) stands a good chance of ending up the chump."
Yes, this one please
I was one who played it straight, although I had opportunities and offers to do otherwise, I wanted to be the "good" boy. I realized too late, after marriage, that I certainly missed out on a lot of sex, sex that I am not really seeing now and am to the point of not caring to see in my marriage.
I, most likely, screwed up. I want to provide my sons with the education to help them not make the same mistakes I did. Not that they would take the opportunities I passed up, just that they would have the information that I did not have.
1 - How would you practically differentiate between negging and using honest contempt?
2 - What's a good way to address / dismiss / attack womanly gossip in a Game-related manner?
Anonymous - 9:54 PM. Here is how most young Christians are handling it. Of course, you could argue that perhaps modern Christians are just being more honest than they used to be. I know that my Christian high school ('79-83) was almost indistinguishable from a secular school, in spite of all the protestations to the contrary.
I would say the only real answer involves a) home-schooling and b) marrying young (and parents taking a heavy hand in assisting such). The ideal would probably be for the guy to be no older than 22 and the girl about 18. Which is of course the polar opposite of our society, where marriage gets pushed later and later in life. And, in a young marriage, the man has to really know who he is and have a strong sense of his direction in life in order to keep that hypergamous female instinct in check. A lot can change over a decade or so.
Not that I think it's the end of the world if a Christian has premarital sex, but obviously you have to do a fair amount of mental spinning to treat it as a positive rather than a negative.
I third Rycamor's excellent question. I have one of my own.
For reasons you have pointed out in some of your posts, American women are finding any number of excuses to let themselves go pysically. In the church its the 'its-whats-inside' that counts mentality. This leaves husbands to feel like bastards if they resent their wife's inflating physique. I loved Athol's book but I believe an answer from him might not be a great fit for the devout who are anti-divorce. So let's say I rounded up a group of Christian guys married to sweet and devoted warpigs who were seeking advice on how to address the issue with their lovelies. What's to be said?
"So let's say I rounded up a group of Christian guys married to sweet and devoted warpigs who were seeking advice on how to address the issue with their lovelies. What's to be said?"
Yes, this. And it's not just an issue of women letting themselves go physically, for as shown by the graph in Delusion Damage's latest post, men naturally retain higher SMV longer than women:
http://delusiondamage.com/2011/12/18/one-graph-to-rule-them-all-explains-marriage-hollywood-aging-bitch-syndrome-teachers-sleeping-with-students-etc/
Much can be solved by marrying an appropriately aged (i.e. much younger) woman. However, what is your advice for a man who married a good and faithful woman near his age or slightly older, when he finds that after 20-30 years or so, even though she does take care of herself (not overweight, exercises, takes care of appearance, etc.), he has aged so much better that his SMV is at least 3-4 points above hers and there is little that can be done to close the gap?
A judge in Canada recently ruled that polygamy is illegal. His reasons? Nothing to do with sex. He said that Canada has signed various treaties to protect women from "inequality". And a younger woman marrying an older man creates a power imbalance and inequality.
The ruling is interesting reading, because he quoted many experts on evolutionary psychology. He agreed with all the main insights of Game, and made them explicit. Then he said it was illegal. :-) First they came for the polygamists... but next they will come for those who have relationships with more than a 5 year age gap, or where the man has figured out how to protect his assets in a trust.
http://www.courts.gov.bc.ca/jdb-txt/SC/11/15/2011BCSC1588.htm
The judge outright said that the government of Canada is committed to reducing inequality in relationships, especially younger women marrying older men. What we here would call "appropriately aged" women...
I just realized that the comment system ignored the handle I typed in. The anonymous STEM teacher above is me, Kiwi the Geek.
Yes, Markku, men are MUCH more straightforward. I'm not a mind-reader, and typical women drive me crazy sometimes, for a variety of reasons.
I get what you said about how to earn respect and how to be pleasant. I think I do those reasonably well. But if game is social, not just sexual, and men use it in their interactions, it seems there must be some way for me to use it to advantage as well. I just don't get how, and the focus of all the blogs I've seen is dating & marriage.
But if game is social, not just sexual, and men use it in their interactions, it seems there must be some way for me to use it to advantage as well.
In their interactions with women. And relying on the fact that there is necessarily an amount of sexual tension between men and women.
Which is why I doubt it is of any value for a woman except perhaps in order to identify probable PUA's.
I thought I had read that the whole alpha/beta/etc thing applied to men's interactions with each other. But maybe I misunderstood, in which case my question is moot.
The only answer to my own original question that I could find was to take an attitude of stoic resolution, like a Templar knight: "This is what I must be in service of my King. If you don't like it, there's the door." After that, do not dwell on or discuss the issue.
Definitely do NOT take the approach of "I'm a virgin because I want my wedding night to be special." or some such sentimental response. First, that is a woman's answer, and secondly a woman won't believe a man who says that anyway. She'll just think he can't get laid.
That said, the sad fact is that most young men who stay celibate until marriage will have a *hard* time finding a girl who does the same, given current realities. And going into a marriage with a woman who has more sexual experience than you has got to lead to some issues.
Seems like a valid and great response to me, rycamor.
The hard part is resisting the natural sexual escalation that comes from kissing a woman like you need to.
(wow... I'm really not getting any work done today...)
Another question: should you admit to a girl that you have a nerdy hobby like watching anime?
Also, if you're a retiring Omega/Gamma (like me), should you admit your loser history to a girl? If not, what to do when the subject of former lovers comes up? Is "I was a late bloomer" a good excuse?
Never apologize for your interests or hobbies. Ever.
Look at it this way: ask them about their TV habits. Does anyone that watches bilge like "Jersey Shore" or "American Idol" or the usual sitcoms have ANY room to criticize my videogame habit?
One must engage their brain to play XBox or play musical instruments.
That's a big one where I refuse to accept their frame. They'll shut up quick upon being challenged, too.
rycamor,
Wanting your wedding night to be special is perfectly valid for a man. Perhaps not in our modern society, but we are VERY messed up.
Those who play around with sex will have lots of consequences to deal with along with all that "fun". Note that Althol Kay indicates you should only have sex with a single individual, if at all possible.
I think he is a bit confused when he allows for that before the marriage night, since so many marriages break off, but then many do after the wedding night too, so the point remains that a single partner is what God intended from the start.
Markku, please don't make everything an argument about your pet topics. I merely noted one way that game did not require evolutionary psychology. I have no intent of debating issues outside what was requested here.
Markku, please don't make everything an argument about your pet topics.
I guess I'll have to, considering how sigma you are with your mom.
Sigma, if I understood it right, was doing whatever you wanted regardless of what people thought. This is a quite good thing in my view.
Not alpha, but I mostly don't give a hoot about being alpha, nor do I care what you think of me.
I would also rather be true to the wishes of this blog and not hijack threads. I guess you have to do so to prove you can win the pissing contest. :)
Are you a Clint Eastwood? No? Do you in any way resemble a Clint Eastwood or do you affect those around you in the way that a Clint Eastwood does? No? Then you are probably not a Sigma. Try again.
Where was Clint Eastwood set as the example of a sigma?
What do I care what you think anyway? :)
Where was Clint Eastwood set as the example of a sigma?
In Vox's original posts about the hierarchy at Vox Popoli, before this site was made.
If it looks like you're trying to impress a girl it displays lower value, but certain characteristics (ex. physical strength, money, intelligence) can display higher value. What is the easiest way to make a girl aware of your strengths or talents, without seeming to pander.
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