Sunday, June 5, 2011

Loyalty is not hot

I found this exchange in the comments at Badger's to be particularly illuminating:
“How do we know whether or not our exes are genuinely interested in getting back with us, or just want a P&D?"

If, when they approach you about getting back together, they come across as confident, desirable, sexy and having their shit together, then they probably just want a pump n dump. If they come across as needy, desperate, undesirable and basically just a wreck, then they are probably serious and really miss you.

"Hah…so it’s a no-win either way."
This is a revealing insight into the female mind. The fact that the man cares about her and is genuinely interested in a relationship with her is completely outweighed by the way he carries himself in front of her. This is why all the romantic gestures and vows of eternal love tend to avail the average delta and gamma so little. Women find loyalty to be a positive trait in men, they simply do not find it to be an attractive one.

The way women initially view loyalty in men is rather like the way men view a woman having an impressive degree or a good job. It's nice and perhaps even worthy of respect, but it simply has nothing to do with whether one is going to find her attractive or not. That doesn't mean that a man's loyalty isn't valued once the relationship starts, only that it isn't going to somehow convince a woman to be attracted.


modernguy said...

Of course if you leave them when they get old and become unattractive then they're devastated and you're an evil monster for it. The cynical machinations of the female mind.

Yohami said...

Right, loyalty is not an attractive perk. Woman DEMAND loyalty, in the sense they feel in danger the man is lurking around and being desired by many other woman.

The minute the woman has a particular man loyalty granted, she takes it for granted, and gets bored.

The instincts are triggered by the poles and spectrum. The most loyal and devoted man is the one without options (omega), the less loyal and devoted man is the one with options (alpha)

You can have options and be loyal, but these options have to be always apparent

When you have options and your loyalty is feeble, the woman jumps in you trying to squeeze some and these few grams of loyalty are highly valued

Women dont want loyalty from men without options

Women "say" they want an alpha to be loyal, but if the alpha goes down the ladder she will seek for another man

Yohami said...

subscribed (hate

Giraffe said...

Perhaps it is due to snowflake thought processes.

She's thinking "He would never cheat on me" even though he cheated with her.

modernguy said...

The only thing women understand is power.

An Unmarried Man said...

Excellently played.
The problem with women, from a man's perspective, are her mutually exclusive mental hungers. This is why, historically, men prosper when they solely control the "food" supply.

sissyGreekLetterGuy said...

I can see how loyalty might not be an “attraction,” but I suspect it is not a detraction, either, which is how I view women with an “impressive” degree or a “good job” (though I’m not sure what you might mean by “good job”). I have no degree, and while I love my job, it will never make me wealthy. Women with an “impressive” degree or a “good job” are, by virtue of either of those things, overqualified to be my humble wife, and so I do not find those things either nice or worthy of respect (at least not mine, since it makes her a non-option to me).

I suppose it discloses that I am one of the sissier Greek letters, but as much as I am not proud of that, neither am I ashamed for not living on a woman’s dime, or for not having a woman who wasted thousands of dollars on superfluous education that has nothing to do with being a good wife and mother—which education was likely paid by debt, and which debt I would then likely have to assume in order for her to be my wife. Just returned from my afternoon truck-driving run, and I lost count of how many men I saw being chauffeured around by their women—probably women with impressive degrees or good jobs. And I find that pathetic.

VD said...

First, there's nothing sissy about any Greek letter except Lambda. We are what we are. Second, you echo my point. The important thing to understand is that respect is not attraction.

The fact that I greatly respect Umberto Eco as a writer does not make him sexually attractive to me. No more does a woman's PhD or executive job add one iota to her attractiveness. As you noted, it can even potentially detract from it.

Yerai said...

An email subscription button would be nice for your blog

Trust said...

Back almost 20 years ago during my shameful time as a gamma (yes, I admit I was a gamma), I would always be frustrated and confused when I would say something i thought was sincere to a woman I cared about and she would be skeptical, yet a bastard would tell her and obvious line of shit and she'd eat it up.

What I eventually realized was that her decision had been made before either of us even said a word, and her hamster would handle the rest.

The most important lesson I learned at the time was the problem in my life was me. Women as a whole wouldn't alter to accommodate me, I had to either accept the fact that I wasn't desirable or I had to change accordingly. Gammas (and I speak of how I was) are really quite like feminists in this regard... they fascisticallly expect society to change to accommodate themselves rather than focusing on their own behavior.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

The best thing you can do for a woman who expect loyalty (especially your wife) is to make sure she knows that you are fine on your own without her. I'm not saying replacing her for a better model, but just that you can live on your own without anyone's help.

As long as she knows that her actions are merely a comparative advantage in your life, she will stick around and remain loyal. This is because she knows that if she ever royally screws up, she's out the door.

Loyalty may not be attractive to women, but it certainly is to men. Why do you think polygamy doesn't work with one woman and x number of men?

Anonymous said...

"Why do you think polygamy doesn't work with one woman and x number of men?"

Probably because that is called polyandry. *ba dum tish*

But yes, I agree with you.

Viking said...

You don't show her loyalty rather you show her that you value loyalty. You do this by never letting your buddies down and let her know where she stands in the scheme of things. Got to choose between being with her or helping your buddy work on his truck? No brainer. This doesn't mean she will be attracted to the loyalty but rather she will probably be attracted to her lack of being able to control you and her inability to undermine one of your principles.

Women are not attracted to loyalty because they generally don't understand it. They are attracted to feeling safe. Loyalty is a principle. Feeling safe is a feeling. They understand feelings but rarely principles. But that is fine. A man who makes a commitment to a woman before God chooses to not because she earns it, but because he chooses to.

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