Repeated rejection is making me numb. Like a tech support monkey taking his thousandth call, with every approach or interaction I care less about the outcome. Familiarity breeds . . . boredom. Girls are becoming predictable. I make a mistake and like clockwork her interest wanes, I say the right thing and it increases, but I am not surprised. I mark it down as a moment to review later and I continue. In cold approaches this happens very quickly, usually within the first few minutes. Cold approaches are the equivalent of the hard setting on a video game: the cost of a mistake is higher, but after playing long enough, lowering the difficulty makes the game incredibly easy. Like a video game I cannot blame my opponent, she is running on the only program she knows. I am increasingly detached. Mistakes are not something to feel bad about, merely something to learn from. The more I learn the more I become cold and calculating about my actions. Unfortunately I now have more success than ever. Failure I can deal with, but success is completely different. An omega chasing girls is like a dog chasing cars: he wouldn't know what to do with one if he ever caught it. I am so close to catching one I am suddenly wondering what I got myself into. Recently, I lowered the difficulty on the game by practicing on girls in my acquaintance. This has made the game ridiculously easy. With a cold approach there is very little margin for error. With these girls the margin is huge. I can screw up and try later. I can work a target for weeks. Because of this I now have a girl actively pursuing me. She is asking to spend time with me and broadcasting (heh) her interest like a bull horn. I like it, but I now have a challenge I did not expect: neediness. Getting this close to success is like cooking food in front of a starving man. After years of indifference I no longer cared if I had a girl friend. The beast was asleep. Now it takes all my self-control to not start the meal before it is done cooking. At this point I simply need to stay the course: stay aloof, engage in push-pull, maintain frame. I am going to ask her on a date very soon. If it is successful I will be in uncharted waters: a relationship with a girl who is interested in me.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Uncharted Territory: Success
31 comments:
Well, that's convincing evidence of progress. Congrats.
Thanks for sharing your story man. Hope it all works out for you.
Wow! I really appreciate you. For the first time I have realized that just as there are rank alphas (Hitler, Genghis Kahn, etc) there are also nonmalignant omegas. This is a good thing.
Once you reach your confidence level and break out of the cultural mold, take a long hard look at what you are about to do. Don't just score for scoring sake. Free your mind and heart. Then, go for the one that you are going to keep. I'm old school. I only wish I had been so in my youth.
Good luck. And remember to stay calm, remind yourself it's no more the end of the world if she turns you down than it was when the various cold calls did.
There is no rush. Never forget that there are plenty of girls on the girl tree.
All the best, RM. Don't forget to 'open up' only in the smallest doses, as in "yeah, I actually had a good time" (bonus points if you seem mildly surprised--even better if it is the truth), rather than "Wow, I can't believe I'm on a date with such a beautiful girl!"
"An omega chasing girls is like a dog chasing cars: he wouldn't know what to do with one if he ever caught it. I am so close to catching one I am suddenly wondering what I got myself into"
hehe. Nice analogy... nail on the head.
Good luck. I'd like to see how it turns out.
I've been that close myself a few times, but I ended up self-sabotaging. Getting the initial interest is easy, I just never know what to do after that.
I have a theory that every omega or gamma type guy needs to dump at least one girl. Even if you feel like a jerk, it helps you right an imbalance, however perceived. If it sounds cruel, just remember that most women are far more cruel to gammas and omegas than alphas are to women.
So don't be afraid to move first at ending the relationship if it isn't going exactly as you wish (which is about a 99% certainty with a first relationship). If she begs, be unmoved. You don't need to justify yourself to her.
And, women LOVE to hear that you dumped your last girlfriend. DHV, dude.
Well, this is great, good luck. Now this means we want to hear good reports!
Battlefrog, I have the same problem.
I have an even bigger problem. I'm too cartoony. My "game" appeals to underage girls and women, who I won't go near with a ten foot pole. I think it has something to do with the fact that children are less experienced, so they are affected most by bright, primary colors and loud noises. Adults pick up on subtleties, and my game isn't subtle yet. Don't usually get past A1, but I do get into A1 frequently on the strength of my peacock.
For example, yesterday. I wore my peacock suit to a religious thing. Walked out afterward. The 16 year old soccer team started staring. Then I heard a voice "I don't care, he's hot!" Then one of the slim lasses came out and waved hello. I waved and kept walking. Then I walked by the 8 year old soccer team. Their mouths kind of dropped open and they all stared. After my back was turned to them, they all shouted a wistful HELLO! in a chorus. As if they'd planned it.
My 8 year old daughter asked recently, "Daddy, are you a king?"
Now, I'm a mid-thirties balding guy with a beer belly and a grey beard. I believe this shows the power of dressing well.
I think it also shows the importance of fluid movement, which you gain from ballroom dancing.
If only I could adjust my game to grab the 18-25 year olds. But in the church circles where I run, they are as skittish and flighty as barnyard fowl. Anyone more than two years older than them is socially unacceptable.
Anonymous:
Wow, pretty creepy post there, man.
All I can picture is a fat balding guy running around in the Burger King costume, assuming the 14 year-old-girl crowd really digs him because he caught their attention.
Then I heard a voice "I don't care, he's hot!"
Pretty sure you were hallucinating...
"An omega chasing girls is like a dog chasing cars: he wouldn't know what to do with one if he ever caught it. I am so close to catching one I am suddenly wondering what I got myself into"
Were you and Omega or is this just an analogy?
Just keep going, relaxed, having fun, and be prepared to get punched. When it happens, keep your composure, keep relaxed, keep having fun, like you were used to this as well and it didnt matter.
If you turn this into "oh girl I cant believe this is happening this is great I dont want to mess up" you will blow all the mines up
So go and have fun. Its good that you are doing numbers game. The more girls you shuffle at once, specially now that you are starting, the less important each one will be: the less clingy you will be, the less seriously you will take any offense, the more alpha your demeanor will be, the more natural you will get
So... if girls are paying attention, try to multiply that number x10 right away.
Playing live for a million people is less intimidating than doing it for 25. So rack that up. Let it be a mass, rather than an intimate thing, for now.
Get 4, 5, 8 girls to date with before you go into anything real with your friend.
Battlefrog, I'm not fat. I have a beer gut. The peacock costume hides it well. Hides the bald spot too. Stop thinking of Burger King; think of Fred Astaire. Or Warren Beatty. The IOI's from adult women are much more subtle, but present. High school and grade school "Game" isn't enough to use on these women who have already moved on past that stage.
Tonight at the club, a hot 22 year old snatched my hat off and put it on her head, then gave me flirty eyes. Right beside her burly thug boyfriend. I told her to "kiss the bald spot". She kissed her finger then pressed it to my head.
Perhaps my peacock is too intimidating. When I ask the girls to dance they seem sooo grateful. Even ones that snubbed me in the past.
Anon:
Remember, they aren't laughing at you.
They are laughing instead of you.
Dude. I understand where you're coming from. I was there a long time ago.
You gotta re-frame and get it in perspective. As a desirable ALPHA, you will have innumerable chicks "being needy" and wanting to spend time with you.
Remember, you're in control. You hold the cards. As Vox said, there are plenty of girls on the girl tree. ;-)
And be careful not to fuck up the relationships in your circle of friends. If you're really not interested in this chick, don't ask her out. Things can get sticky really quickly and friends who truly care about you are few and far between.
OK for a little dash of ancient biblical history to add to the mix. Check this for context. I am particularly fond of this writing since it is SO relevant to our culture. It is very pertinent to understanding the context of the omega subculture.
9 The show of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves.
10 Say ye to the righteous, that it shall be well with him: for they shall eat the fruit of their doings.
11 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him.
12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
Seen in this context one begins to realize that the entire pathos of feminism has been endemic to all decadent societies. History. History. History. Omega-ism is a social disease that extends into the individual human psyche. You are not alone in the ancient annals of human experience. Females cat calling a male is superfluous. Its just another gesture of role reversal.
It's the male bird that sings in the spring. It's the buck scrape that attracts the does. A real alpha engenders awe and respectful submission by virtue of the mannerism in which he carries himself. Don't confuse reactions to peacocking from women. The attention is great but don't misread it.
The way out is to backtrack the way in. It is slow and painful if it is to be real. You must learn to build character. Males in a feminist dominated society are particularly vulnerable to social movements that purport to make the Alpha status easy. It just ain't so if it is going to be real. What you wear is just a shell. What you are can shine through what you wear. If what you wear is what you are then your scent will be strong. Can you tell I despise fads?
Thanks ox. Read and understood. In my mind, I AM my peacock. Problem is, being a king in your own mind, with a biblical attitude toward premarital sex, is making it a minefield figuring out if I even want to complete A2 and get to A3 with the ladies. But perhaps it takes until B2 to know that much about her? Maybe I'm just being lazy. I was spoiled by the few times the girls outright pursued me and did all the talking while I just grunted in affirmation.
@Yohami: Yes I am an Omega. The dog:car::omega:girl statement is actually how I feel. Game and socializing is totally foreign to me.
@Everyone: Thanks for the encouragement. I should have post on how it goes fairly soon.
(reading today) Ya all are hilarious.
So exactly what are you afraid of? Being rejected again for not knowing what to say/do as you move to the next step? Afraid of letting gamma type behavior creep in and sabotage you?
Part of the issue here is that you still aren't confident in your life's mission. And/or you lack a guiding star in your life that supercedes all else.
I found in the past that having a strong goal (I will become a physician within 5 years, etc) is a big help. I would straight up tell women I met that nothing could come between me and my goal, but that I did have room in my life for personal relationships. If the relationship interfered too much, I promised to pull the plug on the relationship.
Surprisingly, every single woman I discussed this with had her interest level significantly increase. Despite me pretty much telling them that I'd dump them in a heartbeat if they tried to take up too much of my time. I've seen other men have similar results.
What is your mission? And don't blurt it out up front, it has to come out naturally when she's questioning your schedule or activities. And you should be showing your commitment to your mission with those activities and schedule.
On a related note, if your "mission" is to become less omega and more alpha, you're probably doomed in short term. That kind of focus will pull you into the relationship deeper, quicker, rather than provide mental and emotional protection.
Fitting a woman into your scheduled commitments provides better emo protection than making time spent with her one of your top priorities.
my two cents.
@Anonymous: Get'n some does not a man make. Do you think Joseph was in denial of his destiny when Potiphar's wife fanged him? You can attain to the heights of manhood without wading through the slurry.
7 And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.
I know guys that have bitten the dirt right there. Their gnads were running the roost. Not only did their wives dump them but they themselves took other men's wives. They claimed to be believers.
Potiphar's wife haunted Yoseph continually. Friend, the mine field is the character building field. I marvel at the notion that it's hard to get laid in these days. It isn't. Quality over quantity Anonymous. She'll need you as much as you need her. Pump and dump is so bla-zeh. Gain your confidence and make sure it's real. You can deal with the mine field if wisdom has cleared your mind.
Just because she needs a man doesn't make her a slut. If she is an easy lay that is another story. Not irredeemable of course. Just more trouble along the way if you get my drift. Its not easy to emerge from the slime; whether male or female. So why dive in?
Omegas, gammas and deltas, I have a new program to recommend, besides RSD and torrenting mega PUA collections.
http://www.getgirlsguaranteed.com/g3/join
Mark is the real deal.
Check out his latest mind-blowing post: http://www.practicalpickup.com/improving-quickly
Ox, thanks again. Without actually "putting her to the test", I don't know enough to know if the woman just wants a quick lay, or is a moral and ethical person. There so many church girls that are pretenders. And without going for the f-close, how do I distinguish their response to the peacocking and regular pleasantries, from actual IOI's? Because I get lots of IOI's all the time, but I don't know what to do with them. Correction; I don't know what to do with them since I am NOT offering quick sex. If I hint at quick and easy sex, that is a lie. Most game advice is geared to the quick f-close. I need to re-calibrate it.
And on the other hand, when I'm up front about who I am and what I want, I don't know if I'm just unattractive, or if the problem is with the women. All by myself here, it is hard to find the calibration methods to figure out where things are at.
That is why I mentioned the incident with the soccer teams a couple days ago; it encouraged me that the women aren't staying away because of physical appearance.
Ox, would you do some private chatting? I'm staying anonymous right now EXACTLY because of those people that instantly called me a Burger King Kreeper.
@Anon:
I can give you a little time. Don't waste it and be up front. My contact is on my site.
Dude... if you´re an omega you´re facing a hard jump, these are my bulletpoints:
enroll in social / physical activities, acting, chorus, fight, football whatever and project yourself like an alpha. If you burn it, or if eventually they displace you to the omega spot, learn from it, quit and try other venue
try meetups, enter social groups where nobody knows you. this after you changed your wardrobe and physical posture
its important you distantiate from people who is giving you the omega treatment, and engage with new people whom you can connect at a fresh level
you can reconnect with your old friends after you jumped. in the meantime they will hold you back
put yourself in places where you have to be crazy extroverted
and in places with a strong flow of people. if you can switch jobs, try jobs that require more social interaction than the ordinary
the point of to get you out of your head and more in your body, less in the shoulds and whys and more in your skin and in the dynamics with other people
you´re already higly intelligent, you need the other part of the equation. if you can fill the body / skin / interaction mold, your current intelligence will give you an edge over those people who are just "naturally gifted" with people but never looked out of the box
bein alpha is a social status. its an ease at dealing with people
when you are lower status, everybody puts it hard for you. girls make you chase them. they come up with obstacles. even when they give up, you had to give up a lot more
when you are higher status, everybody just surrenders, opens, and submits. girls come easey. really: way too easy
so if you are starting this trip from being an omega, please, take the easy road: dont waste your time learning tricks and stuff to attract girls, because all they will see and feel is an omega trying to impress them
focus on going up in status, from the internal to the external. game "everybody", apply your new self on everybody, forget about chasing and attracting girls. focus on attracting and dominating everybody, while having fun and having them have fun
girls will come to you and will be really easy to approach when you become a magnet and you are used to approach just everybody
chasing girls is a lost cause
Pure gold, Yohami. Where do you go to figure out how to change your clothing? Post on craigslist for a fashion consultant?
pick a celebrity with your body type and clone his wardrobe and style
you wont feel like thats "you". perfect.
walk around your house go pander on the streets sleep with your clothes on until your mind accepts it. you gotta feel like you were born with style
then burn your omega generic clothing
RM, I know you self-identify as Omega, but you still sound Gamma (post-gamma?) to me. I don't think many Omegas are capable of perceiving game as more than a tool for manipulation.
To me, as well... when asked on the difference between an Omega and a Gamma, Vox said that the former are completely incapable of functioning in society, whereas the latter are merely bad at it.
I don't know, but your posts tend to indicate you are not completely incapable of socializing. You play instruments with people you don't know, you tease the wife of your friend... those sound much more gamma.
Oh good, maybe I am a gamma after all. :-)
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