Monday, March 7, 2011

Stumbling toward Alpha

My experiences as an "intrepid," young Delta weren't always negative. Sometimes, I would win. The skies would part and I'd enjoy a fleeting glimpse into the higher castes of the socio-sexual hierarchy. One moment I would be stumbling through the social scene without the slightest idea of what I was doing, and the next, I'd emerge to find a small patch of Alphadom waiting for me. Does this sound familiar?

Before, she'd use you as a mobile ATM whilst chattering on about that guy at work and how he's just so funny.
Now, she's bringing you lunch and asking you about your day.

Before, you'd be lucky to snag a goodnight kiss on your better days.
Now, she has you pinned against the seat in a decrepit movie theater as her tongue explores your mouth.

Before, you'd come over to find her arrayed in pajama bottoms and an over sized t-shirt, a half-empty carton of Cherry Garcia in her hand.
Now, she meets you at the door in a low-cut top and a short skirt that would make even the most adamant atheist thank Providence.

"You've got it made, my Delta friend," I'd assure myself. "Sure, things were confusing before, but now it's different. Alpha times are here to stay. Right?" Well, I wouldn't be posting as the resident Delta, if that were the case. As fast as this increased attention from the ladies came, it went, and, with it, all my new found confidence. So what went wrong?

The answer - nothing went wrong, as the default mode of operation for the average Delta is wrong. What happened is that, for one brief moment, I did something right. The increase in attention was a direct result of my "mistake." The loss of attention was simply the result of my slow regression back into the haze of Deltahood. The socio-sexual bubble had burst, and my testosterone laden boom was now a bust.

Let's examine a practical example, shall we?

I had been dating a girl (let's call her "Red") for about seven months, and our relationship was on the rocks. Though Red had started the relationship with a sense that I possessed high value in the dating market, that conviction was steadily eroded by my classic Delta behavior. I would fawn over her, tell her how beautiful she was, and unabashedly pursue her attention. After months of being placed on a pedestal, and with the increased attention she was receiving from the men at her new job, Red was ready to move on. She said she, "needed a break," and that she, "needed time to think." To translate this for the average Joe, she was tired of being with a minion of a man and wanted to sleep with her coworkers without feeling guilty about it. From a purely Game perspective, who could blame her?

So I rode off into the sunset, dejected. But something unexpected happened. I started to date again. It had only been two weeks into the "break" and I'd already been out with three different women (don't ask me to explain this anomaly, just go with it). Before long, Red found out that I was actually thriving in the socio-sexual market. Our mutual friends were talking about me and how happy I seemed to be. It was subtly suggested that perhaps I'd been cheating on Red all this time.

After two weeks, I had several voice mails from Red. She wanted to talk. To my great relief, Red told me how much she'd missed me during her little break. She said that she had realized "just how much I meant to her," and I, like the typical Delta, swallowed it all. We got back together that night. At first, it was great. Red was sweet and accommodating. She'd spend her time pursuing me, in public and in private. I'd never been happier with our relationship. Fast-forward one month - we'd just broken up and I was a quivering mass in the corner, wondering where it all went wrong.

As Deltas, you and I have the potential to adapt and grow into more capable men. Those glances into the realm of Alpha are opportunities to push past our natural myopia and observe male-female interaction more clearly. What can we learn from my little misadventure?

1. Never put a woman on a pedestal.
Women are human, just like you. It doesn't help to inflate an already over-sized ego.
2. Learn the difference between a Good Woman and a Good Time.
A slut may be easy to snare, but she'll be impossible to hang on to. Catch and release (or, better yet, don't bother catching at all).
3. Scarcity.
 As in economics, so also in Game. Watching your time get taken up by other women or personal interests will automatically raise your perceived value in the eyes of most women. Nobody will want a commodity that you're just giving away. Value your time.

My collective experiences have driven me to seek a long-term, monogamous relationship with a girl that compares favorably with my standards. Your experiences may, of course, take you in a different direction altogether.

And remember, Game Experience May Change During Play.


Difster said...

Ever since I started reading about Game and the related descriptions, it seemed to me that I could slip from one Greek letter to another and back again.

Up until I got divorced (not by my choice) I was a classic Delta with some occasional slips down in to high Gamma range.

A few months after I got divorced, I did something on a whim that seemed trivial when I did it. I shaved my head. Well, a #3 buzz cut anyway. I hadn't had my hair that short since my Marine Corps days.

But it did something to me that I hadn't noticed. Suddenly, I started noticing women looking at me a LOT. I'm an OK looking guy and I'm not so sure that shaving my head actually made me look better. But it stirred something inside of me that made women more attracted to me.

Somehow through that process, I accidentally promoted myself to Beta with some slippage back to high Delta. The high Gamma days are long gone.

The interesting thing throughout my entire life, from my nerdy high school days, all the way up until now is that I have very frequently put on the Omega jacket. I have found myself being the one that gets thrust unexpectedly in to leadership positions, accidentally dominating social situations (though not by being obnoxious and annoying - usually), and over time, I have found that my Gamma and Delta friends were frequently trying to emulate me. I've also very frequently clashed with the Alpha's and they've usually been the ones to initiate the conflict.

I don't know that I've ever ventured in to Alpha territory though I suspect I could play the part if I really tried.

The point is, we're not locked in. We are affected by the events in our lives and our personalities do change.

I have no problem never being an Alpha.

John said...

@Difster - I'd agree, but I do notice that many men have a "default" mode that they'll consistently revert to. Some Deltas (or Gammas) can mimic Alpha/Beta behavior and, given enough time and practice, do it rather well. However, precluding any major changes in brain chemistry, physical appearance, or environment, I would expect most men to revert to their original mindset.

It will take time and effort for a Delta to move from a state of constant need for female approval to one of self worth, in which he decides who is worthy of his approval.

mmaier2112 said...

You have to love the whole playing out of the thought "other women want him, what am I missing?"

Cut off contact, move on with your life... she wants you back. Only about half as likely as the tides.

It meshes nicely with my default operational theory: "Women are insane creatures."

Duke of Earl said...

So my relative indifference to instigating emails and texts with my fiancée,actually helps attract her?

I guess I should be glad of my social inability then. :-)

Menschon said...

Decent first post.

It's refreshing to see someone talk openly about being anything other than Sigma/Alpha.

As a mostly Delta/Lesser Beta myself (on good days), I like the idea of the journey toward the idea of Alpha. It's almost classic in nature.

The good days are increasing. I find that success follows success, and life is more interesting than before I started game. It has certainly brought an unexpected and welcome undertone of...danger?...excitement?...non-boredom?...with the other sex. I've started to notice that some girls have started to do subtle things to grab my attention. This stuff works.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Great content, keep up the good work!

imthepresident said...

I often find myself traversing several levels from Omega to Gamma to Delta and on a few occasions, Alpha. Although i feel like my "baseline" has been somewhat higher as of late.

Those times I did find myself in Alpha territory though? It just felt like it wasn't me, or at least it wasn't my normal "baseline", but my results were out of this world.

I'm glad I discovered game though, because I'm just so much more aware of my actions, as I think many of us here are.

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