Facing the truth

The interesting thing about an alpha's ego is not its size nor its resilience. It is the fact that the alpha ego is grounded in reality. A man who has banged a large number of hot women, or has significant athletic or military achievements has little reason to question himself. He has proven that he has what it takes. However he also knows that there are others who are better than him and can recognize excellence when he sees it. This means that even the largest alpha egos have a natural check on their size. An omega's ego, on the other hand, has very little grounding in reality. As such the size of his ego often rivals that of an alpha.

Because it does not have any checks on its size an omega's fragile ego will grow without bounds. In an effort to avoid the pain of his life an omega will lie to himself. He will find elaborate justifications and excuses to avoid reality. This often takes the form of criticizing others for their shallowness or stupidity. It is not the omegas fault that he cannot find someone that understands him. He cannot help it if other people are too stupid. Rarely can he compete in reality so instead an omega will build himself up in his head and disparage others. He will do anything to avoid facing the fact that he has very little value in the real world, as it is just too painful.

In some areas though omegas do well. When they do have an advantage they will maximize that advantage to the hilt. It is no mistake that many omegas are computer nerds. Video games allow them to live out a reality where they are the hero and tech support skills give them real value. In an episode of "The Big Bang Theory" every guy (except Sheldon) is more than willing to provide free tech support to the hot manipulative babe that moves in above the apartment. They do not care that they are being manipulated. For a brief period of time they can do something that gets them the attention they crave. For an omega a small amount of worth and real human connection will grow completely unfettered in his mind. Even though all he did was set up a phone for a girl, it is enough of a connection that the next day an omega will be fantasizing about marrying her. In my early teens I would fantasize about marrying a girl if all she did was smile at me. In the end an omega will be unable to change because of the elaborate fantasy world he has created. Often it will reach the point that the fantasy world is far preferable to the real.
For this reason the first thing an omega must do to change is face the truth. Without an anchor in reality it is far too easy to go back to lying to yourself. Often the web of lies is so thick that it takes years to gain a clear view. In my efforts to change I had to face many truths about myself and others. This is a list of some of the more important things I have learned:

- If your father is has not been there for you in the past he will not be there for you in the future. Find someone else to fill that role and move on.

-Talking to your mother about your problems will get you nowhere. Women are rarely objective and have difficulty making tough decisions. Talking to your mother or any woman will have you running around in circles. Move out of her basement and try to minimize contact until you no longer need to lean on her.

-What has happened and what will happen to you is your responsibility. It may or may not be your fault but it will always be your responsibility. Bad things happen and all you can do is choose how you will respond. Avoiding the problem is a choice like any other.

-Suicide is the cowards way out. And in ten years all you will be is a sad memory. In twenty years no one will notice that you are gone.

-God (if he exists) may provide a way, but you have to take it.

-No one can save you from your misery except yourself. You may have help but the work is all yours.

-Nothing about this is easy. As such do not beat yourself up over your failures. Just get up and keep moving forward.

-People who are less intelligent are often kinder. Seek them out and do not look down on them.

-The people you love and trust the most will let you down and hurt you. When that happens remember all the times they were there for you and try to forgive.

-The world is very cruel. All you can do is improve your ability to withstand the bad things that happen.

-Firefly will never be renewed.

-If you are ready to start talking to women do not expect them to jump your bones the first night out. It will take time before you see significant gains.

-You cannot change alone. Because of this my recommendation to any omega looking to change would be to find help. I found help in the form of an eighty year-old hypnotherapist. It really does not matter what form the help takes, but successful help will have certain things in common:
1. It should be from a man, preferably one who is much older than you. Avoid female help. While some women may give good advice it is too easy for them to become emotionally involved and lose their objectivity.
2. It should NOT be from a peer. Peers have the same problems you do. Most likely they will tell you the lies they tell themselves in the form of advice. This does not mean that having friends cannot help you, just that they should not be your primary source of change.
3. He should expect you to change and have a specific way for you to do it. If he tries to make you feel like you do not need to change or accept your position in life, leave. The point is to change and achieve real happiness not sit around and complain. In this vein, avoid talk-therapists. You will end up talking in circles and leave $100 poorer.
4. Whatever he tells you it should involve facing difficult truths. You don't need someone helping you lie to yourself.
5. He should hold you accountable for your actions. This does not mean that he beats you over the head with them only that he makes you acknowledge your problems or self deception and continue to move forward.
6. He should be objective but committed to helping you change.
7. Pastors, bishops, some therapists, sensei's, grandfathers, uncles, are all potential sources of help. But most importantly whoever you choose you should see real change after some time.

-No one is going to do it for you. Stop waiting.