The Lion

Well-played.

My shot at the characters:

The producer in the middle: Delta.

He's the normal guy, trying to make everyone happy and do his job, not rocking the boat too much. Guys like this are good employees but not great bosses.

Vince the voiceover pro: Alpha/Sigma.

He works for himself but is here to get the job done. His irritation at the situation is obvious - the producer should be running more interference on his behalf, instead of trying to please everyone.


On the topic of Deltas, I once had a boss who was always agitated in his position of authority. He'd talk down to the employees beneath him while kissing up to the higher bosses above him. Meanwhile, his wife ran his life outside the office. He was scared of her and pedestalized her at the same time.

One of the main points of dissatisfaction his inferiors in the office expressed was that he didn't represent us well to the higher-ups. He'd deride us in front of the big guys in a half-teasing and uncomfortable way with entirely too much bluster, then when we caught him alone, he'd always explain how tough it was to press for raises on our behalf, etc., and that we all had to make do. He seemed to fear asking for anything from the higher-ups and when he was later promoted to a higher position (he was quite competent at his own work), he failed and ended up elsewhere. He would play at being a big shot but couldn't fill the shoes so he was perpetually uncomfortable. Outside the office, though, he was a decent guy. Just not a good leader.

I'd venture to say that a true Alpha is usually better at watching out for his people. He will smack down insubordination, etc., but loyalty is often rewarded. He needs a team to lead and enjoys it.

A Delta simply isn't sure of himself enough to work well in a management role.

Oh, and the audio engineer?

Whatever his rank, he's obviously a guitarist suffering through this crummy job until his record contract goes through.

Signs of real intelligence

SIGNS OF REAL INTELLIGENCE

1. You learn from mistakes
2. You read for fun
3. You can argue from multiple perspectives
4. You think before you speak
5. You don't care what others think 

Note how four of those five factors simply don't apply to gammas who like to consider themselves highly intelligent. If you are a gamma male who refuses to admit mistakes, only argues from your current point-of-view, reacts emotionally and incontinently to criticism, and observably care deeply about what others think of you, what are you telling others about your intelligence?

And before anyone tries to get pedantic, note that if you refuse to admit your mistakes, you are most certainly not learning from them.

The fifth factor may explain why Sigmas tend to be more intelligent, on average, than Gammas.

Can confirm

Double E attempts to explain the Sigma mindset:

A lot of people reading Vox project. They just don't understand sigmas. So when they see something he's written, they tend to assume he is speaking from the 'normal' emotional position that they and most others would have to be in to make a similar statement. Most people would have to be feeling fairly strong emotions to openly tell somebody "I don't care what you think". And so they assume Vox is doing the same thing. "oh look hes being defensive." or "that comment must have really got to him"

No. He just ACTUALLY doesn't care what the guy thinks. He isn't stewing over this conversation for the next few hours, or thinking about what would have been the sickest burn - he isn't thinking about it at all.

So also, his insights into the emotions of the poster aren't an attempt to attack the guy, or get him to do or feel anything. Its not about him. Vox doesn't care about him. It's much more closer to an alien being like "hmm this insect flies in circles when I pull off one wing. Interesting." **writes in notebook**

Meanwhile the bug is shrieking about how cruel, and mad, or triggered this alien must be to do such a thing.

This is correct. Sigmas are not some sort of Vulcan or anything. I definitely have emotions, and they are certainly aroused in situations like the one described yesterday. But they are seldom the emotions that Gammas or others tend to assume they are. I have very little interest in what most people think, in part because I can very often anticipate how they will react to a given situation on the basis of their identity, intelligence, and socio-sexual rank.

I felt precisely one emotion when several people started criticizing the cover of the new Wright novel, offering unrequested advice, and suggesting unnecessary debate: annoyance. However, that's as far as it went.

And it is the very dispassionate observation he describes that often allows me to quickly, and correctly, determine the sort of individual with whom I am dealing, even on the basis of a single statement or comment. For someone who strongly prefers to stay well outside most groups and their social hierarchies it is very useful to be able to not only understand, but anticipate, the probable consequences of the group dynamics.

Music and mastery

I'm mostly posting this because I love what Leo Moracchioli does, and this video is one of my particular favorites. But can you estimate the two men's ranks in the socio-sexual hierarchy?

Leo tends to strike me as a Beta. Betas have the most fun, tend to be highly competent, and have a playful side that trumps any need to be The Man or look cool. His friend, on the other hand, engages in classic Sigma behavior, sending false signals and laying low before "unexpectedly" ripping off an impressive display of complete mastery. Now, it's almost impossible to reliably judge a man by a single observation, but it's the combination of faux gamma silliness with the brief "yeah, that's right, bitches" gesture at the end that tends to spell Sigma.

Note too the lack of need for any billing or tokens of "respect". But I could be wrong. Perhaps he's just a talented Delta who is confident in his one true talent. Anyhow, it's a great remake.

How to raise a man

Clint Eastwood demonstrates that it's never too late to be successful, and that even missing a son's childhood doesn't mean a man can't be a successful father. It's inspiring to see the mutual affection and respect between father and son in this Esquire interview with Clint and Scott Eastwood:

ESQ: Do you guys get competitive with each other?

CE: I don't think I'm competitive. I'm happy to see him do well. I'm happy that he's working. He's doing better than I was at his age, and that's the way it should be.

SE: I couldn't be more proud of him. I couldn't be more inspired by the films he makes. His movies are the kinds of movies that I want to be in. I'm just a pawn in getting to work with these great directors. I'm just trying to be in more of those types of movies.

[At this point, Scott announces that he has to leave for a screening of the new Dwayne Johnson movie. He and Clint hug and say goodbye.]

CE: You always wonder if you could've done more. You could've spent a little more time with him, a little more attention. I had that regret when my dad died. Because it was sudden. I didn't know; it wasn't like he had an ailment or something. I used to live close enough to him that I could've dropped in a lot more. I never did and I was busy, always busy, doing all the films. My mom lived to be ninety-seven, so I compensated and I spent a lot of time with her after he went.

It's clear that Clint was hard on Scott. Perhaps he had to be, perhaps he didn't. But it's also clear that Scott listens very closely to everything that Clint has to say, and I very much doubt that he'll never forget his father telling a national publication that "he's doing better than I was at his age".

Read the whole thing. It's really good. From a sociosexual perspective, it's a Sigma raising a Beta who may one day become an impressive Alpha.

Sigma music

If you can't figure out how this Bloodhound Gang song is eminently Sigma, well, the concept is simply going to elude you. Remember, Sigmas are even more contemptuous of Gammas than Alphas or Deltas.

I know my haikus are freaking intense
but even the words I made up to sound French
don't express my feelings for your toilet parts.
I would show up for our pottery class
dressed like a pirate with John Water's mustache
On a unicorn that shits your name in stars.

In case the dripping contempt for Gamma romanticism escapes you, the title of the song should make it clear: "Screwing You on the Beach at Night". And then there is the chorus:

Fucking's cool, but Jimmy's the romantic type.
Loitering on cliffs, thinking about stuff like,
Screwing you on the beach at night.

Being sexual Alphas, Sigmas don't kiss and hug, they fuck and screw. They hate Gamma deception because they see through it and they cannot believe that the Gamma actually expects them to accept his posturings at face value. Being predators, they tend to view the pedestalization and white knighting that is so common to Gammas and Deltas as not only dishonest, but transparently dishonest even when it is not. And as the song suggests, they often have a vulgar streak that most Alphas don't; this may have something to do with their outsider mindset. One way of signifying you do not belong to the group is to offend it.

The video also offers a pretty good indication of the way Sigmas naturally regard Gammas. In the same way that Gammas find it very difficult to believe Alphas and Sigmas are as genuinely confident as they are, Sigmas often find it hard to believe Gammas are not mentally retarded or playing dumb. The quivering lip scene sums it all up in a nutshell. I have to admit, it has taken me a long time and a fair amount of patient explanation to even begin to grasp Gamma thought processes, and if I'm not focused on being sympathetic, my instinctive inclination when talking to a Gamma is to shake him and shout "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Portrait of a Sigma

I was reading Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman yesterday and was a little surprised to stumble upon this remarkable portrait of a sigma in Haruku Murakami's short story "Nausea 1979", in which he meets a young man who inexplicably begins vomiting every day after receiving a mysterious series of crank calls from a stranger:

I knew this young illustrator from the time he did a drawing for a story I published in a certain magazine. He was a few years younger than I, but we shared an interest in collecting old jazz LPs. Another thing he liked to do was sleep with his friends’ girlfriends and wives. There had been quite a number of them over the years, and often he would fill me in on his exploits. He had even done it a few times while the friend was out buying beer or was taking a shower during one of his visits.

“You do it as fast as you can, with most of your clothes on,” he said. “Ordinary sex can drag on and on, right? So once in a while you take exactly the opposite approach. It gives you a whole new perspective. It’s fun.”

This kind of tour de force was not the only kind of sex that interested him, of course. He could enjoy it the slow, old-fashioned way, too. But it was the act of sleeping with his friends’ girlfriends and wives that really turned him on....

I found it hard to believe that such things could be carried off so easily, but he didn’t seem the type to spout a lot of nonsense just to make himself look good, so I began to think he might be right.

“And finally, most of the women have been looking for something like this.... What they want is for somebody to be interested in them beyond the—in a sense—static framework of ‘girlfriend’ or ‘wife.’ That’s the most fundamental rule in all this. Of course, on a more superficial level, their motives are all over the map.”

“For example?”

“For example, getting even with a husband for fooling around, or boredom, or the sheer satisfaction of attracting another man. That kind of thing. I just have to look at them to know. It’s not a question of learning a technique. This is strictly an inborn talent. You either have it or you don’t.”

He did not have a steady girlfriend himself....

I probably average a little over twenty-three hours a day alone. I live alone, I hardly ever see anybody in connection with my work, I take care of most of my business by phone, my girlfriends belong to other people, I eat out ninety percent of the time, the only sport I ever practice is long, lonely swims, my only hobby is listening to these more or less antique records by myself, and the only way I can ever get my kind of work done is to concentrate on it alone. I do have a few friends, but when you get to this age, everybody’s busy, and it’s impossible to get together all the time. You know what this life is like, I’m sure.”

“Sure, more or less,” I said.

He poured more whiskey over the ice in his glass, stirred it with a finger, and took a sip. “So then I started thinking seriously. What was I going to do from now on? Was I going to go on suffering with crank calls and vomiting?”

“You could have gotten a girlfriend. One of your own.”

“I thought about that, of course. I was twenty-seven at the time, not a bad age to settle down. But I’m not that type of guy. I couldn’t give up so easily. I couldn’t let myself be defeated by something so stupid and meaningless as nausea and phone calls, to change my whole way of life like that. So I decided to fight back. I’d fight until every last ounce of physical and mental strength was squeezed out of me.”

“Wow.”

“Tell me, Mr. Murakami, what would you have done?”

“I wonder,” I said. “I have no idea.” Which was true: I had no idea.

“The calls and the vomiting kept up for a long time after that. I lost a tremendous amount of weight. Wait a minute—here it is: On June 4, I weighed 141 pounds. June 21, 134 pounds. July 10, whoa, 128 pounds. 128 pounds! For my height, that’s almost unthinkable! None of my clothes fit anymore. I had to hold my pants up when I walked.”

“Let me ask one question: why didn’t you just install an answering machine, or something like that?”

“Because I didn’t want to run away, of course. If I had done that, it would have been like admitting defeat to the enemy. This was a war of wills! Either he was going to run out of steam or I was going to kick the bucket.

What is interesting is that Murakami accurately describes many of the attributes of a Sigma decades before the concept was articulated. The young illustrator is solitary, but successful with women despite being physically unremarkable, is likable and makes friends easily, but has little interest in a social life. He possesses unusual motivations and preferences, has strong willpower and a high level of self-discipline, and exists almost completely outside the normal social hierarchies. His interests fall on the obsessive side. He understands women on a level few men do, but has very little interest in them beyond their sexual utility and is more inclined to view them with contempt than place them on a pedestal. Relationships, both friendly and romantic, are open to him, but he instinctively shies away from them.

As I have repeatedly pointed out, Sigmas are weird, and usually quite a bit more bent than they are superficially perceived. Needless to say, this socio-sexual profile has virtually nothing to do with the gammas who are dissatisfied with their place in the social hierarchy or the omegas who are largely barred from it. They can be reasonably described as a twisted form of introverted Alpha.

Seeking alpha

These ten points need to be read, repeatedly, to every delta and gamma male until he understands that women like sex in and of itself:

 

See anything about love, intellectual admiration, or rewarding loyalty and sincere devotion there, Gamma boys? 

In addition to the Alpha aspects, one reason why women prefer Sigmas for casual sex is that they know the Sigma isn't likely to stick around and want a relationship: "a 2011 study out of the University of Michigan found that when women can be assured of “safety” and “sexual prowess,” they were just as likely as men to opt for a night of commitment-free sex."

The woman cries when she breaks your heart

Don't you see that when she breaks up with you, she's the one who's really suffering?

She doesn’t want anything to do with this. She hates the situation and she hates herself in this moment. She wishes more than anything that she could trade places with you. Yes, it seems like it’s a lot easier to be on her side of things. But really, she wants nothing to do with this side. She really, actually wishes she could be the one whose heart is getting broken, instead of the one who has to do the hurting....

She reminds herself that you can easily find love again, and maybe someday, you might just forget nearly everything about her. All she hopes is that you know she was trying to do her best. She was walking around blindly, completely terrified and hopeless and uncertain. But she was trying. She wanted to follow her instincts and do what she thinks was the right thing.

This is an Sigma blueprint for how to Next a woman.

I hate this situation and I hate myself. I wish more than anything I could trade places with you. Sure, it looks easier to be on my side of things, and to be having sex with a woman who is younger, hotter, and less sexually uptight than you. But I really, actually wish I could be the one whose heart is getting broken.

Don't you see that it actually hurts me more than it hurts you to hurt you? What sort of unfeeling monster are you, that you can't see how I'm the one truly suffering here?

I just hope you to know that I was trying to do my best. I'm just following my instincts and I'm afraid that one day you'll forget all about me. But I know I did the right thing, even though it was so hard. Don't, no, don't touch me now. It's too difficult. Just go... go!

Gamma delusion bubble

Apparently a quote from this blog is listed on Fundies Say The Darndest Things as one of their Top 100 quotes: "I don't believe I could recommend this as a strategy for most men, but it is surely educational to learn that raping and killing a woman is demonstrably more attractive to women than behaving like a gentleman. And women, before all the inevitable snowflaking commences, please note that there is absolutely nothing to argue about here. It is an established empirical fact. I would go so far to argue that if you are being introduced to a woman you find attractive, she will be more attracted to you if you slap her in the face without warning and walk away without explanation than if you smile and tell her that you are very pleased to meet her. Now this, being a mere hypothesis, can be argued. And tested, if you're feeling especially scientific this weekend."

Many of the reactions of the SJW girls and Gammas are, of course amusing, beginning with this one: "There is totally something to argue here. For one it seems like you're generalizing a significant part of the human population, for the other you're not even providing any proof to your ABSOLUTELY HAIR-BRAINED theory." Well, yes, hence the term "hypothesis". And science deals in evidence, not proofs; that is logic. But what I find particularly amusing is their desperate need to believe, contra the readily available evidence, that I look something like the picture to the left, which to be honest looks a lot more like a younger, thinner version of most of the male members of the SFWA. Except Diaper Boy has better hair.

Nor does it ever seem to occur to them to think that perhaps my statements about women are an informed opinion. I mean guy who have record contracts at the age of 22 usually have a lot of trouble finding women to date, right? And strangely enough, they never seem to have anything to say about my actual appearance. I wonder why that might be?

The Literary Portrait of a Sigma

"During these years Goldmund had gradually lost the rest of the adolescent grace and boyishness that had pleased so many. He had become a beautiful, strong man, much desired by women, little popular with men. His mind, his inner face, had greatly changed as well since the days Narcissus awakened him from the happy sleep of his cloister years. World and wandering had molded him. From the pretty, gentle, pious, willing cloister student whom everybody liked, another being had emerged. Narcissus had awakened him, women had made him aware, the wandering had brushed the down from him. He had no friends; his heart belonged to women. They could win him easily: one longing look was enough. He found it hard to resist a woman and responded to the slightest hint. In spite of his strong sense of beauty, of his preference for the very young in the bloom of spring, he'd let himself be moved and seduced by women of little beauty who were no longer young. On the dance floor he'd sometimes end up with a discouraged elderly girl whom no one wanted, who'd win him by the pity he felt for her, and not pity alone, but also a constantly vigilant curiosity. As soon as he gave himself to a woman—whether it lasted weeks or just hours—she became beautiful to him, and he gave himself completely. Experience taught him that every woman was beautiful and able to bring joy, that a mousy creature whom men ignored was capable of extraordinary fire and devotion, that the wilted had a more maternal, mourningly sweet tenderness, that each woman had her secrets and her charms, and to unlock these made him happy. In that respect, all women were alike. Lack of youth or beauty was always balanced by some special gesture. But not every woman could hold him equally long. He was just as loving and grateful toward the ugly as toward the youngest and prettiest; he never loved halfway. But some women tied him to them more strongly after three or ten nights of love; others were exhausted after the first time and forgotten.

"Love and ecstasy were to him the only truly warming things that gave life its value. Ambition was unknown to him; he did not distinguish between bishop and beggar. Acquisition and ownership had no hold over him; he felt contempt for them. Never would he have made the smallest sacrifice for them; he was earning ample money and thought nothing of it. Women, the game of the sexes, came first on his list, and his frequent accesses of melancholy and disgust grew out of the knowledge that desire was a transitory, fleeting experience. The rapid, soaring, blissful burning of desire, its brief, longing flame, its rapid extinction—this seemed to him to contain the kernel of all experience, became to him the image of all the joys and sufferings of life. He could give in to this melancholy and shudder at all things transitory with the same abandonment with which he gave in to love. This melancholy was also a form of love, of desire. As ecstasy, at the peak of blissful tension, is certain that it must vanish and die with the next breath, his innermost loneliness and abandonment to melancholy was certain that it would suddenly be swallowed by desire, by new abandonment to the light side of life. Death and ecstasy were one."

- from Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse

Sigmafication

In which the Chateau recognizes a minor contribution to the socio-sexual hierarchy, which he identifies as "the Renegade Alpha":

The blogger Vox, an esteemed member of the realtalker shock troops, has his own delineation of male status based off of the original CH socio-sexual classifications, which he has said is a refinement of the original, but which CH guardians of the Good Word of Game say amounts to an aesthetic rewording of the primeval texts. Vox’s male ranks could easily superimpose onto CH’s ranking system, because the CH hierarchy is not, as is commonly assumed by readers who have barely skimmed the ancient writings, a stark dichotomy separating alphas from betas, but rather is a continuous SPECTRUM running the gamut from the lowly omega dregs to the zero-point-one percenter super alphas. Within that spectrum there is room for every male socio-sexual rank, including the mysterious Renegade Alpha, which Vox names the Sigma Male....

Very loosely, the Renegade Alpha is a seducer of women first, and a leader of men second, if at all. Though in fact the two conditions are not mutually exclusive. A cad bounder who defies the rules can also lead a small contingent of men, although the sweep of his influence may be constrained by his chosen hedonistic lifestyle.

Notice that CH has clearly understood, as many readers have not, that there is no fundamental difference between the binary hierarchy of Alpha/Beta and my more finely graduated socio-sexual hierarchy. I merely went in an additional zoom level is all.  I'm also pleased to see CH use the term "socio-sexual", as the social aspects are so closely interwoven with the sexual ones that attempting to distinguish them is impractical.

And the Chateau is entirely correct to point out that Sigmas are somewhat limited in comparison with the greater Alphas, because social status and a coterie of loyal followers will tend to augment any man's Game, no matter how successful he may be on his own.  It's interesting, too, to note that CH sees an growing amount of opportunity for Sigmas as the social systems around the world become more chaotic, but have not yet collapsed. He writes "Societal collapse is his serendipity. The cri de coeur of broken souls his symphony." 

The commenter CK's description turns out to be, as it happens, rather apt: "Sigma’s days are spent on a metaphorical beach, in a company of a woman genuinely in[to] him. People envy Sigma for his freedom and quality of life. Hate him for not being a conformist."

The appeal of male dominance

A study indicates what facial expressions men and women find most sexually attractive on the opposite sex:

This research examined the relative sexual attractiveness of individuals showing emotion expressions of happiness, pride, and shame compared with a neutral control. Across two studies using different images and samples ranging broadly in age (total N = 1041), a large gender difference emerged in the sexual attractiveness of happy displays: happiness was the most attractive female emotion expression, and one of the least attractive in males. In contrast, pride showed the reverse pattern; it was the most attractive male expression, and one of the least attractive in women. Shame displays were relatively attractive in both genders, and, among younger adult women viewers, male shame was more attractive than male happiness, and not substantially less than male pride. Effects were largely consistent with evolutionary and socio-cultural-norm accounts. Overall, this research provides the first evidence that distinct emotion expressions have divergent effects on sexual attractiveness, which vary by gender but largely hold across age.

The key phrase, which most intelligent women manifestly fail to understand is "divergent effects". That which works on women does not work the same way on men, at least not for the most part.  Submission and agreeableness appeal to men while women find such characteristics contemptible. Dominance and confidence appeal to women while men find them off-putting.

This is where solipsism is particularly damaging to women, as it leads them to consistently deceive themselves concerning their own appeal and mislead them concerning their optimal course of action. And it's also why deltas and gammas consistently find themselves getting the short stick, because they keep erroneously assuming that their selfless acts of service and slavish devotion are make them more attractive to women rather than actively turning them off.

There are always exceptions to the general rule, of course. I don't know if it is related to my sigma status, but I seem to be wired a little bit differently in this one regard. While I quite like happy women and find happy expressions to be attractive, I tend to find haughty and arrogant women to be the most superficially attractive. I don't actually like their personlities, I'm just drawn to the way they look. Perhaps it is the cruelty aspect seeking to find a justifiable target, or perhaps it is just indicative of a natural inclination towards conflict and chaos.

Who knows? As I've said before, sigmas are weird. I suspect I was rather fortunate to find Spacebunny, as she looks like a haughty ice queen, complete with a grey-eyed death stare, but her personality is inclined towards the quirky, happy, and funny.

Alpha Mail: Stalking the Sigma

Anais wonders where to find these rare and difficult, yet highly attractive beasts:

I don't see a way to email you here, so I will venture to ask my question about Sigmas... I'm obsessed with them. I'm an attractive young woman (not attractive enough to marry a Very Alpha alpha, but I think it's reasonable to shoot for a lower alpha/higher beta if we're talking about the "normal" hierarchy) who swoons primarily for Sigmas. I love reading this blog because it helped me put a name to the kind of men I have always fallen madly in love with. I'm an introvert myself. I get plenty of attention on dating sites, out in the world, etc . . . but Sigmas don't seem to congregate on Match.com or often show up at a random party. I have never been into hook-ups or casual relationships, and my only long-term relationships have been Sigmas met in totally unlikely ways.

Maybe this is a hopeless question, as the only place I have ever encountered significant concentrations of Sigmas was at the quirky college I attended- but where is a good place to meet them? I live in a big East Coast city (not NYC). When I encounter them in the wild, they usually really like me.

The fact that Sigmas are relatively rare does not mean they are impossible to find. They are not unicorns. On the other hand, they are less easily spotted than Alphas, who thrive upon being the center of attention, and they aren't necessarily going to come to your attention in a pack of loud, rambunctious men out having a good time.

But there are a few tricks that may prove useful in identifying them in the wild.

1. Look for the guy who is out in the group, is an obvious part of it, but keeps breaking away from it, especially to pursue women. Sigmas are solitary hunters. They don't need the emotional support from their friends to pursue women, and tend to think that their friends only get in the way.  If you see a group of guys, and one of them seems to periodically vanish and return, he could be their Sigma.
2. Pay particular attention to the guy who locks eyes with you, disappears for a while, then later appears unexpectedly at your side or behind you. Sigmas like to take people off-guard.  The guy who smiles and approaches you directly probably isn't a Sigma.  He is more likely the guy who initially makes you feel slightly alarmed and WTF was THAT?
3. If a man seems to be intentionally trying to turn you off or irritate you, he may be a Sigma.  Sigmas relentlessly test and qualify women in order to categorize them.  Of course, he could simply be a jerk. Or a social incompetent. 
4. Does he cut you away from the crowd? Sigmas aren't herd animals and will always prefer a quiet conversation of two to group banter.  If you're looking for a Sigma and you sense the man with whom you're talking is separating you from everyone else, you may be in luck.  Or he may just be a serial killer.
5. Do others look to him for leadership? And does he provide it or does he shy away from it?  If the latter, you may have struck sigmatic gold.
6. Does he make you feel that if you don't take your pants off, he might just go ahead and do it himself without bothering to ask you?  And do you find it worrisome that somehow, that doesn't seem to upset you the way you know it is supposed to? You may have found the type of introvert you seek.
7. Does he engage you in conversation/flirt with you/have sex with you without even asking your name? Probably Sigma.

If you're seeking a man who isn't a part of the social hierarchy, then keep an eye out for those who ignore its rules, demonstrate contempt for it, and appear to be playing an entirely different game.  If you're at a party, look at see who is off by themselves in a dark corner. You should be able to identify them readily enough.

Those who are glaring at people, nursing drinks, and mumbling to themselves are the Gammas. The one who is simply watching with a slightly arrogant smile on his face is the Sigma.

Alpha Mail: is sigma the alpha of gamma?

The League of Bald-headed Men posits an interesting theory in light of the discussion of Thrift Shop Game:

An interesting ditty. It shows that the hipster irony culture has filtered down to the proles, wiggers and normals. 'I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those."

This hipster irony culture is pure gamma, it's the acme of gamma. "You made fun of me for being a geek, and now I'll make geekdom cool."  This goes hand in hand with my theory that "sigma is the alpha of gamma", ie that sigma is what happens when gammas enact their will to power. 

I, on the other hand, have tended to be of the opinion that sigma is what happens when OMEGAS successfully enact their will to power or otherwise transform themselves into sexual dominance.  Let's consider the evidence for the One Man Riot's theory, pro and con:

PRO:

• Sigmas often appear to have intellectual interests more in common with the average gamma than those of the average alpha.
• The gamma-sigma antipathy appears, in some circumstances, to be even greater than the gamma-alpha version. A product of similar traits clashing?
• Neither sigmas nor gammas tend to be socially dominant.
• Both sigmas and gammas often appear to be vengeful.

CON:

• Gammas are extremely concerned with hierarchy.  Sigmas and Omegas are not.
• Hipster irony culture is pure gamma, but it is extremely fashion-conscious and therefore hierarchical. While it may be the acme of gamma, it doesn't appear to have anything to do with sigma.
• Gammas are bitter, jealous, approval-seeking, and rule-abiding. Sigmas are contemptuous, disdainful, and rule-breaking.
• Gammas find conflict painful and tend to avoid it. Sigmas find conflict enjoyable and tend to thrive on it.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of applicable observations; feel free to add more, either pro or con, in the comments.  In summary, while I don't think the League's theory is absurd, I don't think it holds up when considered in sufficient detail. And I can't honestly think of a single sigma of my acquaintance that I would have considered to have been a gamma in the past.

Speaking only of my own experience, I can say that one thing that separated me even as a pre-adolescent proto-sigma from the omegas and gammas alike was my supreme confidence in my intellect and in my athletic abilities.  The refusal of my age peers to value the former and the inability of my coaches to understand and utilize the latter never caused me to doubt either for even a millesecond.

So perhaps that imbalance may be a key to understanding why a sigma develops such indifference towards the hierarchy.  He is aware that he is objectively superior in one regard or another but also knows that the hierarchy is incapable of recognizing that superiority or valuing it fairly.  It also would explain the apparent similarity between the sigma and the gamma that The League has observed, the important difference being that the gamma's belief in his proper social rank is subjective and intrinsically delusional.

Delta is not failure

I suppose it's inevitable, but one of the things that I find irritating is the way that men who learn about Game in general, and the socio-sexual hierarchy in particular, immediately going about attempting to rationalize a way that they can assign the highest perceived value to themselves. First everyone's an alpha. Then everyone's a sigma. I have no doubt if some new Game blogger concocted a brilliant new system in which Oompa Loompa was the top category, we'd be seeing all sorts of men fall all over themselves to describe themselves as Oompa Loompas.

Now, this doesn't bother me because I'm determined to put myself forward as a special snowflake and nobody else gets to be a sigma. Sigma, as I've pointed out before, is a less dominant and lower form of ALPHA. So, I'm doing precisely the opposite of what the Oompa Loompas are doing. The reason it bothers me is because it is self-sabotaging behavior every bit as counterproductive as going out and asking your girlfriend's mother how you should treat your girlfriend.

If you're in the position of S, an introvert who hates social interactions and wants to know how to approach women, thinking yourself a sigma is arguably the very worst thing you can do because it allows you to pretend that your failed strategy is the correct one. The sigma can afford to stay in and blow off the world because the hot girl will show up at his door, unannounced and uninvited. You can't and therefore because that's not your socio-sexual rank, you need to comport yourself differently and adopt different tactics.

Men who are socially or sexually dominant, (or better yet, both), can regularly get away with things that deltas can't ever imagine doing. For example, when one of my best friends made junior partner at his law firm, the firm threw him a cocktail party to celebrate. My band was playing downtown later that night and I didn't want to cart around a change of clothes, so I showed up in the ripped jeans and t-shirt I was planning on wearing on stage. In addition to being the only man there not in a suit and tie, I was sporting the only mohawk. My friend introduced me to everyone, most of whom were perfectly pleasant, but when the attractive secretary half-rolled her eyes at my appearance, I took the opportunity to tell her, as we were shaking hands, that I wasn't wearing any underwear.

I said it loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear it too. Everyone except her howled with laughter, including my friend's father, who was a top executive at one of Minnesota's Fortune 500 companies. Those who understand game won't be surprised to hear that the next time I showed up at the law firm a few weeks later, still very much underdressed, she was as deferential as if I was a corporate executive wearing an expensive Italian suit. She got the message from their reaction: the normal rules don't apply to this guy.

Does this mean you should start going commando, dressing inappropriately, and ignoring the rules of social etiquette? Not at all. What worked well at one particular time for one specific individual in a certain group of people probably won't work if any of those variables are different. What it means is that you have to know yourself and know how you are comfortable behaving before you can start to stretch yourself and expand your behavioral patterns.

Game is very effective. But you can't expect to use it and successfully imitate the behavioral patterns of higher ranking men if you place most of your effort into rationally justify your existing ones. Delta is not failure. Even omega is not failure. They are starting points.

Alpha Mail: Sigma spotting

Nate spots the shy and retiring sigma in the wild:

So I spent last week on cruise ship... hokey I know... but hey... the food was awesome and well... SEC spring break girls. Nuff Said. Anyway... during all the fun I came across something a true rarity. I ran into what I conclude is a true sigma in the wild.

Now I know that per game theory I am supposed to have some problem with Sigmas. Of course... I believe Game Theory is still in its infancy... and like so many other assumptions that one is wrong. I am not the least bit concerned about another guy getting a hot chick. God bless him. He's not a threat to me. Regardless... on with the story.

So there are bars all over the ship... and I have found a favorite. Its a bluesy type piano bar with a rowdy piano player that makes elementary school jokes at cute buzzed college girls. It was beautiful. I have 4 bama girls to my left... and to my immediate right are 4 UK girls... two of which can't decide who they want to make out with more... me.. or each other. Two bama girls are solid 9s... two are 8s. One of the UK girls is a 10 sent from Hell itself... two 9s and a 7. There was one other notable girl in the bar... a ginger 10 ... there with her sister...

Wait... what was I talking about? Sorry... the Sigma. Right.

So in walks this like... 350 pound... 6'1" lard ass. Pale as a ghost... introverted as all hell. He sits at the very end of the bar... and is quiet the whole time. He participates in the name that tune contest and such... but only in the most insignificant manner. My initial impression was... omega. Hard core omega... only here on a dare... He seemed shy... down right scared... I felt sorry for the guy.

Because he was so big... he was easy to spot on the ship. I ran into him several times and I remembered his name so I would always make a point to go see him and say hi. He remembered me... and every time met me with a smile and seemed to enjoy talking about the bar and the girls there. He was not what I expected... so I suppose this was the first hint I had that I was trying to jam a square peg into a round hole. Delta maybe?

So then... the third night of the trip... again I am in the piano bar... this time listening to the Bama girls complain about how slutty the UK girls are for making out with each other in public. (The bama girls only did that back in their cabin. cell phone cameras and facebook... you know...) when in walks the big man. And low and behold... he has with him the blonde 9 dressed like a stripper that nobody has ever seen before. And she is clearly.. with him.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

The Bama girls were mystified and the UK girls seemed genuinely offended.

They hang out for a while... then she leaves and he hangs out longer. He lets her go. Cool as the other side of the pillow. He's not fawning over her. She's fawning over him...and when she tries to lead him... he sends her away. None of the other girls show a ton of interest in him... but a few of them are shooting him glances which he seems totally oblivious too.

So omega, delta, and gamma are all out.... now what?

Later that night at the comedy show it was all tied up nicely with a ribbon and everything. The comedian pointed the Big Man out and asked what the wildest thing he ever did was... and he said "sex in a movie theater." The comedian said.... sure.. ok... respectable but nothing special...

Then Big Man pointed out... it was a Disney Movie.

See?

See... there you have your very own... "no it gets worse" story... Everyone was slightly disturbed. Sigma. All day long and twice on sunday. This is the only time I can think of when I've run into what can be genuinely described as a sigma. All that shyness.. wasn't. It wasn't shyness... it was "I don't give a damn and I still have the hot chick anyway." It was bizarre. I mean we all watch the fat dude with the hot wife in the cartoons and think.. "this is stupid." and yet here it is. Except in this case Big Man wasn't acting like an idiot. He had what many describe as "tight game"... be it adopted or natural.

By the way. A great way to know where you are on the list...

You're in a bar and the piano guy shouts, "everyone kiss the person to your left!" and the person to your left is a single hottie. You...

A) Kiss her.. and the girl next to her too... because he didn't say how far to the left. (this is the alpha answer)

B) Playfully punch her in the arm or hug her (beta answer)

C) Laugh and look awkwardly at her then quickly down at your drink when you make eye contact. (Delta!)

D) Safely at the back of the room alone you roll your eyes and act offended that anyone would suggest such a thing because you are way to cool for these stupid games. (GAMMA!)

E) Going to the bar never crossed your mind. (Omega)

F) You didn't notice because you were getting a bj in the theater during The Little Mermaid (Sigma)

This is precisely the sort of thing I was describing. Because he operates most comfortably and happily outside the social hierarchy, the sigma is at least vaguely unsettling to everyone, from alpha to omega. And that is a form of social domination all its own, and one to which women respond very readily.

The one thing that Nate is missing here is that an alpha isn't bothered by the sigma when the sigma scores a girl, but rather, when he refuses to submit to the alpha's social dominance. In the context he provided, there is no reason why he should have been anything but vastly amused by the sigma. And, of course, the fact that Nate is one of the most Dread of the Ilk tends to indicate that he's a bit more Sigma-friendly than the average alpha.

Alpha Mail: the necessary distinction

Not only is King A's attempted criticism illogical, it reveals that he doesn't grasp the difference between "social" and "socio-sexual":

Yeah. I got just about the reaction I expected from this blog. An indication of the value of a publication is the quality of reader attracted to it....

Of course there are different styles of leadership. The question is, why does this particular trait require the fabrication of an entirely new category of man? That was never adequately explained, and Occam's razor says it is an embarrassing attempt to project one's cherished idiosyncrasies over an already widely established method of communication.

Since King A is not only a regular reader, but a commenter, he is doing little more than savaging his own tail in a futile attempt to take an irrelevant shot at this blog. And everyone who reads it. Based on this information, what can we conclude about his socio-sexual rank, everyone?

I find his inability to understand the need to define the Sigma class to be more interesting, in that unlike most casual observers of Game, he doesn't confuse the sexual with the socio-sexual, but the social instead. The need for the Sigma class should be obvious, since it is a statistically significant observed socio-sexual type. It's not merely that it happens to describe my own "cherished idiosyncracies", but also those of many men who have similar socio-sexual success despite behaving in a very, very different way than the more conventional and common Alpha.

As to why the "particular trait" requires the category, Omega's post makes it perfectly clear. Sigmas are introverts. Introverts do not think like extroverts, they do not behave like extroverts, and they have a fundamentally different psychological profile than extroverts. What works for extroverts does not work for introverts and vice-versa.

In Game terms, telling an introverted Delta to mimic the behavior of an extroverted Alpha not only isn't going to work very well, even if it does work, it's probably going to make life miserable for the introverted pseudo-Alpha. Since 75% of the population is extroverted, it should be no wonder that conventional Game which doesn't account for the introvert/extrovert divide works pretty well for most people. But this underlines the importance of broadening the concepts so that it has the chance of successfully addressing the other 25% as well.

And it's particularly important given that successful Sigmas are far less inclined to care about their social success, much less impart it to others. For example, excluding Spacaebunny, I spoke a grand total of six words to five different adults today even though I was out and about in four different locations for several hours. If I didn't share information on this blog, it would never leave my mind. There will never be a series of Sigmas travelling around the country doing speeches, conducting classes, and selling videos; aside from Roissy, who shuns even interviews, the Pick-Up Artist community is obviously a collection of extroverts, who, like most extroverts, have no clue at all about how introverts can be successful except by mimicking extroverts.

Sigma vs Alpha

Whilst watching a movie:

Alpha: That reminds me of this one time....
Alpha's Girl: Tell me about it!
Alpha: [Tells long story that makes him look good.]
Alpha's Girl: Ooh, you're so awful! [Has sex with him.]

Sigma: That reminds me of this one time....
Sigma's Girl: You've got to be kidding.
Sigma: It was actually worse, because -
Sigma's Girl: Stop! Stop now! I don't want to know! [Has sex with him, sleeps with one eye open.]

Women are as strongly drawn to the Sigma as to the Alpha. But instead of having to deal with the simple angst that stems from unfaithfulness, they tend to find themselves facing a wide range of much more complicated angst. A quality Alpha story leaves the audience in a celebratory mood and inclined to exchange high-fives with the Alpha. A quality Sigma story leaves the audience amused and slightly alarmed.

And remember, a woman's hamster loves nothing so much as a vaguely sordid and possibly dangerous mystery.

Dark Biad

I've never attempted to conceal the fact that I possess two of the three Dark Triad traits. Contra the occasional accusation, I am not even remotely psychopathic. Nevertheless, I find it mildly alarming that I am apparently even more narcissistic than Yohami. How is THAT possible?

Your Total: 23

Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20.

I wouldn't have thought one could score so high with low scores on Entitlement and Exhibitionism. But I suspect that male bloggers in general, and Game bloggers in particular, will tend to be highly narcissistic. What other sort of individual is attractive to women, sufficiently introverted to write regularly, and also assumes, correctly, that others are intrinsically interested in whatever he happens to contemplate?