Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Why Delta?
I spent Father’s Day with extended family at my brother’s
house watching all of our kids play and jump into his pool for hours. It’s a
nice pool with one of those rock waterfalls, but it’s not huge. He has a nice
house like mine in a good neighborhood, but it’s not a mansion. We are both
Deltas, we don’t live like kings, we aren’t conquerors of nations, and regular
women don’t get the vapors when we walk into a room. What we do have is family,
faithful wives, a patch of grass with a house on it, good kids, and respect of
our neighbors and friends. This is the life of a Delta and if you want it, go
get it. It’s within the reach of nearly every man reading this blog; it just
takes hard work, dedication, and a bit of luck.
38 comments:
Finding a woman worthy of the name is where the luck comes in. You have to sift through a lot of coal.
Had three deer pass through my patch of grass yesterday evening while me and the lad were working on the mower.
To be able to write a sentence like that has been my focus for 30+ years
I think I hear the divorce rape train coming into the station... all aboard!
@Delta Man
What in your opinion is the difference between you and the life you describe and a Beta and his life?
A Beta has more success with women before marriage and that will carry over into marriage so their wives tend be more satisfied, will certainly be of higher SMV rank, and generally Betas are financially successful so he can have a larger house and more toys.
If they are neighbors you might have to look twice to see the difference as a Delta can be as high as a 6 and a Beta as low as 7.
I think maybe a difference between Beta and Delta is that Beta is comfortable in a leadership role. He's not driven to be in charge like an Alpha, but he's psychologically comfortable taking on that responsibility. Probably the place where Deltas get in the most trouble with their wives is in trying to avoid leadership, maybe best illustrated by:
"Where do you want to eat?
"I don't know, where do you want to eat?"
'I asked you first."
So, back to the previous post about taking on responsibility...
Symptomatic differences between deltas and betas are, as pointed out by Delta Man, their history of success with women (quality and quantity)/attention gotten before marriage and affluence.
Intrinsically or causally, I believe this lies mostly in their attitude towards risk. Betas show less risk aversion (influenced by a less static outlook on life, esp. the SMP) while deltas tend to appreciate security a bit too much, which can quite easily slip into boring territory for their female companions. This will then influence their outlook on fringe events and reactivity towards instable environments. Betas will be a little cooler in all instances. Risk or any proxy thereof such as conflict is really at the core of Alpha/Beta differences.
To that I would add another gradient which is the level of control one shows in extraordinary situations. This in turn is what IMO differenciates alphas from betas. Alphas show just a bit more control, are just a bit more adaptable than their close beta brothers.
The conflict is that what you painting as Delta is now it is mostly painted around here. You are painting a Delta - while including yourself - as someone who manage to do well enough financially, have a nice family, a wife that treats well, and respect from peers and friends. The way you paint it, this would mean people like Rollo - people probably popularly viewed higher than Delta - fits in Delta here.
Meanwhile most paints Deltas as those stuck to live invisible lives of quiet desperation. People who manage afford to live comfortable, but have options of who gave no interest till 31 and the reality remains having none of the feelings he which her to feel. All the feelings she did felt for all the people before. Meanwhile the description - where you include yourself as an example - tends to be defined higher than "Delta".
I don't even know what to say about this post. Is is a joke? Like a way to see who takes it seriously? Like alpha game meets candid camera? A guest appearance by Dr Pangloss? The writers from Hallmark Special Ops trying out a few new weapons?
Huh. Don't be fooled by the suburbia setting either. In a bygone era, Delta's would also have been mill workers who raised 4 kids in 800 sq. ft., and steel workers who worked 12 hour days.
En-sigma said...
Finding a woman worthy of the name is where the luck comes in. You have to sift through a lot of coal.
Horse manure would be a more accurate term.
@Remo
Divorce rates are about 50%, but my guess is that it's about 80% for Gammas and about 30% for Deltas. And for college-educated and conservative Deltas, it's probably down around 15% or so. Either way, divorce seems to be a female reaction to Gamma behavior, which Game-unaware Deltas still do, just not to as great an extent as bona-fide Gammas.
If you don't want to get divorced, try to wipe out all your Gamma behavior.
"Where do you want to eat?
"I don't know, where do you want to eat?"
@Jack Amok
"Now don' sta' tha' again!"
The way you paint it, this would mean people like Rollo - people probably popularly viewed higher than Delta - fits in Delta here.
@Rek
True. Also, Deltas are more affected by the degradation of women than Betas are, but because they're still better off than the ballooning numbers of Gammas and Omegas, the house, kids, and picket fence is still possible for a Delta, even if the wife is likely to be older, fatter, higher N-count, and often enough a single mom, than she'd be in the 1950s.
@themillennialadvantage
Don't know much about Rollo's personal life, but he does strike me as a long-winded theoretical type, as opposed to a cruder player type like Roissy, who strikes me as a classic Sigma. I could very easily see Rollo as a Delta. Being Delta doesn't mean being unaware of Game.
"Where do you want to eat?"
My wife knows better than that Jack. It will almost certainly be Chinese if she doesn't have preference.
I don't have a compulsion to always pick someplace, though I do go for something new and interesting at times. Other times I don't really care, so I may ask.
"Where do you want to eat?"
My wife knows better than that Jack. It will almost certainly be Chinese if she doesn't have preference.
I don't have a compulsion to always pick someplace, though I do go for something new and interesting at times. Other times I don't really care, so I may ask.
"I don't know, where do you want to eat?"
I used to do way too much of that; now I physically wince when I see men do it.
A man would be better off saying, "Shut up, bitch," than, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" It's that bad. To be clear: we're talking about wishy-washy, decision-avoiding behavior, not straightforward interest in her preference.
For the men who don't like what they see with these Delta posts and are angry and cynical I am writing for you as well. I was right there with you being cynical and expected nothing good, but the anger has to come first, then change can take place.
Get angry then go do something about changing your life for the better. It's not hopeless, not all women are as bad as you imagine, but it does take work.
I thought Vox said he was a Sigma?
It's sad that it takes hard work and dedication for some men to be average. But if that's the lot you were dealt in life, props for rising up.
Why does the Beta classification exist if it is not fundamentally different from Delta?
@ Delta Man
Why do you not consider yourself as Beta? Is it only because it was so much work for you to climb up from Gamma/Omega?
OddRob, this is a guest post.
To answer the questions of the validity of the post, it states it was posted by Delta Man where as Vox's posts are posted by VD.
@kbswift
If you want to see a lower delta/gamma lifting himself up to beta. Watch ocean's eleven to thirteen and focus on Matt Damon's character, Linus.
For reference, Danny is alpha, Rusty is Sigma, the others are deltas (some high deltas, others low betas), Linus is gamma, Ruben is lambda, Livingston, omega. Well that's my take as of now. Linus turns around the beta mark at the end of Ocean's twelve and solidifies his rank throughout thirteen. Should help you better appreciate the difference between beta and the average delta.
It really has to do with risk, conflict exposure and as pointed out by Jack Amok leadership, which again is a proxy for risk.
Why do you not consider yourself as Beta? Is it only because it was so much work for you to climb up from Gamma/Omega?
It's always better to underestimate your rank rather than overestimate it, so he calls himself Delta rather than Beta. Likewise, I'm not going to call myself a Sigma instead of a Delta until I'm absolutely certain that I am in fact one.
kbswift,
The most distinguishing characteristic between Deltas and Betas are Betas are highly successful with women to the degree that Alphas have to keep an eye on some them.
I never was so successful that an Alpha paid me any mind.
@ Delta Man
"I never was so successful that an Alpha paid me any mind."
Interesting and courageous confession. One that gammas would have a hard time to make.
Why do you think you were never that successful? Game, social proof, looks, assets?
Rek,
I was a Gamma extraordinaire with low SMV (a bit redundant) due to a number of traits. Once I stopped lying to myself and committed to change I was married in 2.5 years.
Great post, Delta Man.
True, the normal guy isn't that much at all. Not interesting. Just normal. Or average if you prefer. But no one can deny the fact that it is the normal guys, the average guys, that keep things stable and working for everyone. Not ambitious enough to stir things and not that useless enough to be a burden for society.
They are just what we need in any given situation. And they welcome the absence of the spotlight once they are done with what they needed to do.
Delta Man, I believe graduating to Delta has more to do with attitude than to lifestyle.
I myself am no Gamma anymore, but I've decided I want no wife and kids.
Being anywhere on the SM scale is more about the music than it is about the lyrics.
My goal has always been for Alpha Game to be a group blog with contributors from the various socio-sexual ranks. But very few potential contributors have much to say, or have the discipline to post regularly.
It's quite common for people to say "oh, I have LOTS to say". Then they do a post or two, and never post anything again. Delta Man has contributed guest posts before and proven that he has both valuable observations to share as well as the discipline to post regularly, so his posts will be a regular feature here.
The problem is that as a Sigma, I have a very poor understanding of the Gamma mentality and I don't really have any experience with the issues facing Deltas. I can address the theory, of course, but for practical matters, someone like Delta Man will have considerably more to offer than I will. I mean, yes, what I recommend will in most cases work, but many of the men I am addressing will not be able to do what I recommend for one reason or another.
I'm not sure there IS a difference between Delta and Beta, except in degree.
But Vox is wise to have Delta Man post. In any group, there are only a certain number of Alpha or Beta positions. Probably ~2% Alpha, ~6-8% Beta. The absolute quality of men doesn't matter unless they are all Gamma, it's the proportions that count. Which means the average guy can be Delta, but no higher. A respected troop, but not an officer.
But it's those solid, respected troops that win wars. That make organizations work. That are the backbone of a civil society. And are not to be undervalued.
"What we do have is family, faithful wives, a patch of grass with a house on it, good kids, and respect of our neighbors and friends."
No, you don't "have" these things. What you have is only yours as long as you keep it hidden from the view of Alphas and Sigmas (should they want it).
Marlin from "Finding Nemo" was nothing to aspire to. The barracuda still ate ALL his kids and wife, leaving only a loudmouthed retard kid with a fucked arm/fin.
Just sayin'
No, you don't "have" these things. What you have is only yours as long as you keep it hidden from the view of Alphas and Sigmas (should they want it).
*facepalm*
that's like saying you don't *have* a phone. What you have is only yours until the thieves take them.
Seriously, think 1st before posting your opinions.
Not sure what you think of the following - I bought the same main course in a restaurant while on holiday on 2 different days . The woman I was with gave me a funny look and told me to grow up, I tried to laugh it off make a joke of it etc but says a lot about you, how you react to that sort of thing.
Is buying the same thing like that a bad sign? Getting shamed by women is brutal to me, just don't bother with it now. Ive found that its either women with children, or those who are either overweight or have relative mental problems themselves who are left. Doesn't seem much point to me to get involved again without some level of personal improvement.
Ive been out with my mate who has achieved a pretty high social standing now, married although shags about all the time. (Get the impression his Mrs is either doing the same, or is of the "if he hasn't got it in him to shag about he isn't worth it anyway". Lack of promiscuous potential being a turn off.) Its brutal watching him chat women up, so natural with him, the sense of deserved entitlement in him. I spend the whole night trying to find a safe spot at the end of the night to not get burned by some nasty bitch who can sense my weakness/insecurity and is looking to punish, perhaps due to her own bitterness. They can see it in me a mile away.
Given the idea of transition from gamma to delta what do people think about the following -
You give me ideas of things that I should do, I go out and do them. Then report back with what happened, how it seemed to me, and see what you all think? Perhaps be worth me giving a basic outline of how I live etc so you know a bit about me beforehand rather than just have the general idea of gamma/delta. Not sure if there is omega tendencies in me, seems like it. Weirdo factor. Social wonkiness. Literally no idea who I am. Im probably much better than I think at times. Im liked anyway lol!
I'll have a think about the Delta thing about responsibility. My inital take on that is feeling like a bit of a servant to others, I'm not sure whether its just "what" I would be doing rather than "that" Im doing it. With genuine effort plus time its obvious to me I'd improve but I think the problem is facing these sorts of things opens up old psychogical wounds that Ive sort of buried by avoiding everything that I can get away with. They will definitely float back up again from the brain pool. Emotional confusion in the moment results in me wanting to run away.
Im playing pool more now and have goals with that, also started mountain biking with father. I can see me going for long rides on my own. The women thing is a huge problem Ive got hang ups about my hang ups. Maybe good to do some stuff with that. Theres little better than a woman being into you.
Ive thought about this before about using a blog like this for the above purpose, not sure if its imposing a bit though. Some level of attention seeking in it definitely. I need the truth of who I am and whats happening its clear but Im not gonna let anybody say it to me, and they know it so don't go there. Triggered!! Im an SJW, at least in the sense of the emotional underpinnings of it all, the need for ideology, excuse etc etc. Ranting on about nonsense. On my own usually, what would the neighbours think!
No, you don't "have" these things. What you have is only yours as long as you keep it hidden from the view of Alphas and Sigmas (should they want it).
@manofstealblog
I've made it a point of trying to suss out the overall personalities of the dudes whose significant others cheated sexually in some way with me. Invariably, they're either: 1) overly obsequious with their SOs, 2) overly possessive, or 3) have some other serious flaw (for example, one is a rabid SJW, one appears Alpha on the surface but turns out to be a despicably underhanded bully in business).
Cool, I suggest health is included in this coveted portrayal of what we value most; family, normalcy amongst family and Patriarchy DAY!
Dad's day was painful but I ignore the wrong to focus out time 2gether even though the captain is rather sigmascary and alphassertive at 65.
@Jay Will
I'm not going to presume to advise you, but my husband did the same thing once, ordering the same thing twice in a row, while we were dating. I gave him a hard time over it. His response?
"I don't care what you think. I know what I like"
It worked on me, I'll just leave it at that.
I kind of prefer to aspire to what Heraclitus purportedly wrote about the 9 warriors who make the fight.
@AmyJ
What is it about ordering same thing twice in a row that made you give him a hard time? Do you think its something to do with new experience. A man who keeps on doing the same thing playing it safe etc
@Jay Will
It wasn't anything more than a stupid challenge; a shit test. If he had responded as you did, I would have felt justified in questioning his actions, and that's a death knell for attraction.
One of the truest things I continually see on this blog and others is that, if you're at a loss as to how act, simply treat the woman as you would a child behaving the same way. Contempt or amusement. Anything is better than awkward fumbling.
Post a Comment
NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.