See we’ve been getting onNow, being possessed of a more than generous helping of Dark Biad, I've never been what you would call naturally inclined towards BETA behavior. I've never really understood men who are upset for extended periods of time over women who leave, for the obvious reason that if a woman doesn't want to be with you anymore, she doesn't want to be with you. In most circumstances, a woman who doesn't want to be with you will make your life a lot more miserable than it would be if you're completely free to do whatever you want all the time without concern for her or anyone else.
So good so far for so long
No, you never hurt me
No you never gone and done me wrong
(Lots of Beta, I feel so safe.)
I know that something just ain't no good
But you always do exactly what you should
(But I'm a little bored.)
So tell me?
How do I let a good man down?
How do I let a good man dow-ah ha down?
(I love you, but I'm not in love with you.)
You got to believe me
I didn’t mean to find nobody else
I don’t wanna hurt you but I gotta do right by myself
(It just happened... over 40-50 hours of chatting on Facebook.)
You make me happy but he gives me thrills
You give me comfort but he gives me chills
(His Alpha makes me wet. You're nice.)
Seriously, how can that possibly be deemed an intrinsic net negative? I'm not saying that it can't be painful when a relationship ends or that some degree of regret might not be in order, but you have to admit that being completely free to do whatever you want all the time without concern for anyone else is pretty damn good compensation.
Then again, I suppose the opportunity cost equation might look a little different to the non-narcissistic. Or perhaps one reason women tend to leave men they find boring is somehow connected to the lack of interests possessed by said boring men. Anyhow, the key is to understand that happiness doesn't ultimately derive from other people, being an intrinsically subjective thing means it ultimately has to come from within.
Perhaps the wisest thing Spacebunny ever told me was that I could not make her happy. It's her responsibility, not mine. And my happiness is not her responsibility either. In a relationship, your responsibilities concern your commitments to one another, not the futile task of actively managing the dynamic state of the other's feelings.