Saturday, May 27, 2017

Gamma self-destruction

A tech Gamma wonders why he sabotages himself:
I am a mid 20s white male who has been afforded immense privilege in life. I am outwardly extremely confident and able to get what I want. I have dozens of opportunities in front of me, more than 99% of people. Yet instead of being grateful for these opportunities, I feel like I do not deserve them. As a result, I frequently begin an endeavor, see some initial success, but then self destruct just prior to an inflection point, thus destroying any chance of future success.

This happens everywhere. School, athletics, relationships, businesses. Because I feel I do not deserve what I have, I self-destruct before I can take anything to the next level. It seems to be a subconscious attempt at equalizing my reality with what I feel I deserve.

I believe the cause of this is overthinking everything. I am analytical and often overzealous in my choice of analysis. I feel like I am observing myself from the third person. What I see, I don't like.

How do I get over this self-loathing? Do I need to stop overthinking? Is that even possible? Do I just need to accept this state of mind and seize control of it?
This is a normal state of Gamma delusion. He believes he is "outwardly extremely confident" and is "able to get what I want", and yet he repeatedly fails at everything he does. But the reality is that he's not really fooling anyone. It's not about "equalizing my reality with what I feel I deserve". That's nonsensical psychobabble. He fails because he has what is wrongly called "fear of success", which is actually "fear of being seen trying and failing".

What he has to do is adopt the philosophy "fail faster". The more you try and fail, and the faster you can speed up that process, the more likely it is that one or more of your future endeavors will meet with success.

The heart of all Gamma problems can be summed up with a single phrase: "what will they think of me?" That is a self-shackling thought, and it can cripple even the most intelligent individual. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to be seen to try. Even the most successful people fail, badly, most of the time.


Coleman said...

Link to original post?

Maniac said...

"This is a normal state of Gamma delusion."

Rather, this is a normal state of Anglophobic, self-loathing Marxist Millennials. I'm convinced that more than a few of them are secretly applauding the subversion of the collective West by the Religion of Pieces.

Jeff aka Orville said...

I was just meditating on this yesterday. One of my daily mantras or attestations is that "I am fearless". It is a mindset that I'm striving for in all areas of life. What I was specifically thinking about yesterday was that the "paralysis of analysis", or just plain failure to execute, is not based on over analysis, but on fear as Vox said.

It's said there are way more failures from inaction than from acting and failing. Failure is your friend and mentor.

Jackie Chun said...

This is a very modern viewpoint. Trying and failing in our ancient history would likely get you killed as not.

Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club said...

"white male" with "immense privilege"

Leading off with excuses that he hopes will win sympathy with the SJ-infested crowd he surely inhabits.

"overthinking everything" and "paralysis through analysis" are just psuedo-clever ways to say "scared shitless'.

DaDZ said...

"Being seen trying and failing."

Reading this was like an awakening of some kind. It describes be perfectly. After establishing a good career, eliminating all debt, and saving tens of thousands of dollars, I still lack the balls to start my own business. I sure can plan the hell out of it though. Interesting that I've only told one person that I want to do it then made him promise not to tell anyone.

hoots said...

For a gamma, there's a real psychological barrier between the work that goes into making something successful, and the act of converting that success into personal benefit and ownership. The moment we take ownership is the moment that we can no longer blame mishaps or failures on someone else. To an alpha, taking ownership is the entire point of the whole endeavor, and is as natural as breathing. To a gamma, it's a huge step outside his comfort zone. Staying in the shadows allows him a measure of control over how his actions are perceived. Stepping into the spotlight removes that control.

I think this self-described gamma may be rationalizing by pointing to "self-loathing". A gamma will often self-sabotage not out of self-loathing (he’s a secret king after all), but out of simple fear of taking on real ownership, and thus accountability. What he’s “overthinking” is just the loss of narrative control that comes with visible ownership.

Robert What? said...

My favorite quote on this subject is from John Wayne: "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."

David The Good said...

"After establishing a good career, eliminating all debt, and saving tens of thousands of dollars, I still lack the balls to start my own business."

When I was in my mid-20s and started my first business, I was scared to do so until I made the jump. After jumping, the fear just fell away over time. I was committed. You start to trust yourself and know that you can't fall forever.

Just don't build the business on debt, if you can help it.

Badmojo said...

"I sure can plan the hell out of it though. Interesting that I've only told one person that I want to do it then made him promise not to tell anyone."


That's the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Start with a small inner circle and tell them your idea. Odds are, they'll all say it's great because as your friends/family, that's what they think they're supposed to do. But it will give you confidence to talk about it.

Then go out and talk to people you don't know like potential customers and see what they think. See if they'd buy.

Kill the bad ideas faster and you could save months or years of your life.

Hammerli 280 said...

Seems to me that this makes a good case for getting kids involved in a sport. If nothing else, they learn how to fail and get back up.

I'll also add that this sort of self-undermining is common. Very common. Even for Olympic-level athletes.

Arc said...

I wonder how many doodles of the day Google has put up promoting gender equality yet they themselves don't do the same for some odd reason.

Also lol at the company that can track your age range, sex, and percent likelihood to buy certain items given a time period yet can't put together a compilation of payroll information. What's funny is their HR head is a woman and so is the boss she responds to.

Another one to put next to Sandberg and Facebook.

Do as we say not as we do seems to be the motto.

Lazarus said...

Gammas self-sabotage because a secret King cannot be a public king. It is actually a fear of concrete identity.

Terrific said...

Jackie Chun said...
This is a very modern viewpoint. Trying and failing in our ancient history would likely get you killed as not.

You are 100% right! There is a reason Negative Thinking and Pessimism are Natural and "Life-Affirming" traits for 99% of human history. Sure, that rustling in the bushes MAY be your dinner; or you could be ITS dinner! Sure, thinking it's your dinner will make you feel good for a few minutes. But thinking it's something that might eat you may keep you hunting another day.

Positive Thinking and "Learned Optimism", are great concepts that can benefit us in the abundant world we've created; but there's a reason we find embracing them so difficult. Being optimistic MIGHT make you more successful; but it's more likely it will get you DEAD.

Negative thinking and pessimism might make you a downer around the campfire. But it's more likely to keep returning to the campfire.

Year ago I was reading something about an NLP technique for increasing motivation, but the writer said he didn't want to teach motivation until he knew what the client's strategy for decision-making was. "If he has a lousy strategy for making decisions and I increase his motivation, what's likely gonna be the result? He's gonna be motivated to make MORE bad decision!

"Who says worrying doesn't help? 99% of the things I worry about never happen!"

Mister Jorge said...

I like many of your posts, Vox... but this one is the best. I have to admit you've completely hit the mark on me with this. I dressed my avoidance of failures as so many other things... but this post helps me to cut through all my BS and see what's really going on.

Ez said...

Almost all of this is spot on for me too...except I'm female. 😂

Esmar Tuek said...

This describes me 10 years ago. I asked for a demotion after a few months of being a high level manager. Excitement caused me to accept the job offer. I've never understood why I self sabotaged that job, now I know, I was scared of being seen to fail. Blindingly obvious, now.

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