Thursday, April 20, 2017

A change in the balance of power

Another post-Wall woman learns the hard way that the nature of the game changes with age:
To Claire, it sounded like a different world; a sweet shop filled with thrills and excitement, all available at her fingertips. Just the pick-me-up she needed.

Sadly, six months later, Claire would do anything to be back in the marital home, listening for the sound of her husband’s key in the door. For she, like countless other middle-aged divorcees, has found the world of internet dating — of which Tinder leads the field — to be a tawdry, loveless, moral abyss.

In fact, she’d be the first to warn any married woman secretly thinking the grass might be greener on the other side to stay firmly where she is.
It's interesting to see that there are more and more articles being published warning women off divorce. I would expect this means we'd see more marriage and less divorce as the socioeconomic situation continues to worsen.


Harambe said...

Why would you think a man who is single in his 40's would make a good boyfriend or husband? And if a tight little 20-something can't make an honest man out of him, what chance do you have?

Tarrou said...

I don't know how, but I'm pretty sure men are to blame.

Shimshon said...

I told my wife I wanted a divorce in 2010. Later, she told me it was the most attractive thing I'd done in years. This woman made a very bad choice. My wife chose otherwise. We're still together.

dc.sunsets said...

In retrospect it is beyond obvious that casual hedonism leads to misery. I thank my dumb luck that I married my high school sweetheart right out of college. She was achingly cute, brighter than I realized and her life goal was marriage and kids, not "career first, independent woman."

Most people behave intensely like herd animals. A handful suppress such impulses better than others. The herd stampeded through Misery Swamp for the last 40 years, making it increasingly difficult to find a decent mate. But every pop culture vice can be reasoned through:
1. Casual sex habituates people to not gain emotional intimacy from physical intimacy, rendering shallow marital relationships and low barriers to Grass-is-Greener.
2. Prior sexual experiences embed MEMORIES. Those taint subsequent intimacy and cheapen the path of growing sexual engagement intended for husband and wife.
3. Lives are commoditized now. Pop culture (the herd) encourages periodic trade-ins of husbands or wives just like automobiles. It's self-evident that treating your marriage like car ownership is pathologically stupid.

A consumer culture arose, and perpetual adolescence emerged. Children live in the perpetual now, so both men and women live their daily lives in denial of the passage (and effects) of time. They appear utterly blind to the greatest fact of life: stages.

I'm in my "post-kids, not-yet-old" stage. Twenty-something women can be very attractive, but they're the age of my daughters-in-law now. My wife could rock a bikini well into her 40's, but that would now be a challenge. She's still beautiful TO ME. Our self-validation is internal, and between us. We care little about validation from others. Both of us are happy, have been happy and expect to continue to be happy.

Both of us frequently baseline our expectations and count our many blessings (which are many.) It's just dumbfounding to watch so many people lead lives saturated with self-destruction. But people who embedded inescapable misery when younger don't want to hear that they're screwed. They want to hear that there's always a "do over."

Chad Olson said...

The whole article should be required reading for teenagers. Stark and pathetic.

Mr.MantraMan said...

The balance is not even close, it's closer to USA versus Iraq 2003 version. If you think the despair of the Boomer and Gen X wall hitters is bad wait till Generation Land Whale Nose Ring hits it even earlier.

dc.sunsets said...

Generation Land Whale Nose Ring
Thank heaven I swallowed my coffee before that line.

Anonymous said...

1. Goes on App for fast hookups.
2. Finds men who want fast hook ups.
3. Act surprised.

En-sigma said...

"My phone was flooded with hundreds of men who matched my criteria — aged 40 to 55 and all within a 60-mile range.
I admit I was excited. All these men I could take my pick from! It felt like going shopping with no limit on my card."

Aaaand three weeks later -

"I felt sick. Was this really what dating had been reduced to? I suddenly felt very sorry for my daughter. Will she ever experience that thrill of eyes meeting across a crowded bar?"

The cognitive dissonance is astounding...

Your daughter will get the exact same thrill you got during week one. If you look back at your diary, you can see that you did not lament that excitement as any different from your bar-skank days.

Bonus fun fact, women want "unlimited shopping."

Revelation Means Hope said...

The current dating scene is the equivalent of all fast food, every meal, all the time.

Unknown said...

"The current dating scene is the equivalent of all fast food, every meal, all the time."
And yet, these gals still expect men to pay for the meal. Because, you know, it's expected of men. Unless you're this shitlord that has tricked women on dates to pay for the whole date by bailing out on them. I mean, look at his face. This guy screams out "douchebag", and women still fall for it.

Kentucky Headhunter said...

The arbitrary way in which I started to dismiss men shocked me — especially when I realized there were thousands of people out there doing the exact same thing to me!!!!!!.

However, I'm not really sure how much different this is than what happens in meat-space. I walk through the grocery store and automatically filter out >95% of the women based on how they look (e.g., land whale nose rings).

I wonder if these women were told what Tinder is actually for...

Dalrock said...

"The current dating scene is the equivalent of all fast food, every meal, all the time."

Blogger Solomon II had a hilarious post on this called Drive Through Boyfriends. Everything is going great, until around age 27 when she decides she wants something different:

“Welcome to McFling’s. My name is Solomon II. May I take your order?”
“Uh, yes. I’ll have the steak please.”
“We don’t serve steak. Show me your tits.”
“I’m not like that anymore. Steak please.”

Mr.MantraMan said...

Chateau has a bit how a female's community has gone from a couple of hundred to global scale. Think how crushing that has been for the average looking chick the salesforce for global homogenity makes it sound good, but in reality only if you are in the same tribe as lingerie models. The rest get global put downs, it would be kind of interesting if these white women are attracting global male pervs, talk about taking the tingles out of globohomoism.

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