The consequences of men being sex-starved by their wives are deeply worrying. For such a sexual drought has a profoundly negative effect on our society — fracturing families and potentially leading to violence and crime.Not only that, but it makes other, younger men much more likely to avoid marriage as they hear what the experience is like from older men. And indifference from a wife towards his physical needs tends to breed indifference from a husband towards her emotional and material needs.
I’ve found that deep sexual frustration results in men having affairs — which was the case with Suzanne and Michael — and then, all too often, divorce and family breakdown. Sexually starved men are more likely to visit prostitutes, view pornography and, in the worst cases, even molest other women.
So insisting on fidelity within a marriage is all well and good, but unless women ensure they are also having enough sex with their husbands, they are calling catastrophe into their lives.
This isn't rocket science. And the imbalance tends to get worse, not better, as married couples age.
And it is, make no mistake, mainly women in long-term relationships who lose interest in lovemaking — not their husbands. Younger men experience sexual desire twice as often as young women, while older men feel aroused four times more than women in the same age group.
47 comments:
Monogamy is not a monk's vow. It's an implicit contract. Two people forego sleeping with other people and start sleeping with each other. If either of these things doesn't happen, the contract is null and void, and the aggrieved party is released from their obligation.
There's sex after marrriage?
Ironically enough, the only reason Viagra airs ads with those hot MILFs is not for the benefit of the men suffering from erectile dysfunction, but for the benefit of their significant others. After, either you fix your inoperable weiner, or your women will look for one that works. And yet, society gives that a pass.
There's a reason for 1 Corinthians 7:5. A sexful marriage will help protect against adultery and has natural relationship healing properties. If only people, Christians especially, would stop ignoring that verse.
Ah, but according to feminists, if the married woman is not the initiator, that's rape! They have plenty of pastors that agree with them, too!
I guess I don't get this. There's no intrinsic reason for a woman to lose respect for, and interest in, her husband as time passes.
Someone's not doing something right. Happiness is a choice in all things, and that surely applies to husbands & wives ignoring the BS grass-is-greener pop culture and cultivating excitement for each other.
This is part of why I can't stand the constant claim that men should trade in the mother of the kids in favor of a younger model.
There remains no substitute for marrying the right gal, then sailing with her beyond the sunset.
Women getting fatter after marriage and generally letting themselves go don't really engender sexual desire in their husbands either. This is why, if nothing else, dread game is an imperative for married men. Keeping the wives slim and attractive through small doses of mate guarding anxiety. The wife will jump into bed to keep the husband around
The sisterhood will try to make her pay for it, no doubt, but she's in her late 60s and has never had a good relationship with feminists.
There is something else in the article I thought was interesting as well:
"She had pretty much lost interest in Michael after their son was born. He was a beautiful, happy, loving child and she basked in his unconditional adoration. She had fallen in love, in an entirely new way, with the little boy and, with a full year’s maternity leave to enjoy this new relationship, needed no one else."
Is it just me, or does anyone else think the way many young mothers fawn over children these days is verging on a form of mild hysteria? If there's a problem now, then I'm pretty sure it's going to get worse after Gen DU (Doted Upon) reaches adulthood.
@manuel: those Viagra ads are total bullshit. Men with wives that hot that are panting for the dick from their husbands don't NEED Viagra.
My now ex-wife discovered that nothing good comes from blue-balling your husband. Her replacement (younger, slimmer, the very definition of loving and LOVELY femininity) cannot even fathom the idea of doing such a thing.
If they do not heed this. Then the best bet is for them to suffer the consequences and thereafter consign them to catlady status.
I'll never understand why these frigid women refuse to catch their flies with honey. They want things from their husbands and they want their husbands to give cheerfully and yet can be so scornful of sexual affection. There is a strain of thought that is more common among religious wives that sexual interest from their husbands is base and superficial, tawdry even....that a man isn't really interested in his wife if he just wants to screw her all the time. Its blatant projection by the wife and the complete opposite in reality. This was a big factor in my husband's divorce from his ex. She didn't want the divorce. She told him she would tolerate affairs. She just wanted the lifestyle he provided. That attitude disgusted him.
Younger men experience sexual desire twice as often as young women, while older men feel aroused four times more than women in the same age group.I agree with you, but I think the real divorce rate of society is indeed high, the current social status! Have a relax in mtnba2k.....
The comments on the linked article is a clusterfuck
Feminists approach marriage from the fiction that the husband and wife are contributing equally financially to the marriage.
They then justify the wife holding out on the grounds that it's all just about two 'equal' adults that must have each other's consent and not the reality (in most cases) that one is contributing far less financially and is not compensating for this fact sexually.
One of the reasons that feminists insist that male and female sexual appetites are equal is so they can deny that frigid wives are doing any harm to their husbands.
@haus frau
Come from the view that Man's sexuality is evil and corrupt and female sexuality is pure and innocent. Man evil woman good.
Women are Romantic and hence her sexuality is pure and good. While men the non-romantic ones are the lustful devils.
Other problems with romantic love elevated to a moral force is shown by Dalrock:
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/embracing-no-fault-divorce-is-the-natural-result-of-elevating-romantic-love-to-a-moral-force/
Also the Madonna/Whore Dichotomy owing its origin to the ever-Virgin Mary the mother/Whore. This perversion of the idea of Chastity with Wives that are virginial and non-interested in sex as ideal mothers. Whilst the Whore of course are the opposite of that.
Author is arguing for negotiated desire. Give her X and she gives you sex. Doesn't work, or at best only leads to infrequent starfish sex. She will never attach as high a value to "you doing housework" as she does access to her precious vajayjay.
FD
A woman is incapable of loving her mate unconditionally as she does her child. We think she should because our model is our mother who did so. We never separate the love of a spouse from the love of our mom. Huge mistake. Probably the worst. Female partners love conditionally. Now throw in the epidemic of single moms femininizing their boys and these "nice guy betas" don't have a chance until being crushed first.
Plus she has satisfied her imperative.
I just broke up with a girl who was pretty great but was completely frigid in bed. I could handle the vanilla sex if it was frequent enough but she just stopped putting out. Figured it if dried out before we were even married, I was going to get screwed, and not in the right way, long term.
I must live on a different planet. First, the sex frequently cited in the original article is absurd. Second, the premises for why women's sexual desire evaporates are descriptions of screwed up women to start with.
This is why I see children of divorce as untouchable for marriage. They form the foundation of people who see marriage as a temporary condition, and spouses as car models awaiting trade-in. No wonder everyone seems to get fat. They have no sense whatsoever that honor requires they invest in keeping their spouse's interest and focusing their own interest exclusively on their husband or wife.
Marriage exists today under a constant barrage of pop culture trying to weaken the resolve of spouses in order to make everyone uniformly miserable.
PS: physical intimacy is the bridge to emotional intimacy, and a culture encouraging casual sex breaks this link, so that later (in marriage) neither husband nor wife obtains this central cohesive benefit of sex. Our idiotic culture of hookup sex predictably creates a society of atomized, lonely people.
Bard, my wife loves our sons, but unlike catshit crazy women, she raised them to LEAVE. Her focus for the rest of our lives is primarily on me (and mine on her.)
Women that bonded with their kids past a certain age are damaged goods, and that condition was probably evident prior to their having kids.
But do I see lack of marital sex as a justification for men having affairs? Yes, I’m afraid so. For what else are men who need sex regularly to do when married to an unsympathetic wife?
This makes it sound so superficial and biological. The lack of sex is a sign of rejection. This is much more damaging to the relationship than the man not having his pipes cleaned often enough. If a woman is not interested in sex but finds other ways to demonstrate her approval and acceptance of her man, this is much less an issue. The other side of this coin is a woman who gets fat and chops off all her hair and finds other ways to lose attractiveness. So it may be her husband who no longer wants to have sex with her. Yet he still may crave her attention and approval and show it in other ways.
Women would do well to reject 90% of the advice they get from other women. The other 10% should only be accepted with a lot of thought and consideration. The crap I was told before I was married and during the early years of my marriage would have created a nightmare.
We all have finite energy. Most women tend to need a certain amount of mental and physical energy to "get in the mood." It is our job to safeguard that energy. The whole "do the dishes" advice for men is pure crap. If she isn't prioritizing that part of your relationship before you help out she's just going to use that energy for the kids or for "me time."
Help around the house is really nice. Just don't do it and expect to get laid unless your wife already follows-up with you doing housework that way.
@John rockwell I did not think what I described was an defined, cultural thought within the church. Interesting link. I'm not surprised that certain women would find sex sanctified by romantic love to be so appealing. It essentially is used by them to let them off the hook whenever they aren't in the mood. "I feel fat and crabby therefore you're just reducing me to a sex object by asking for sex" sums up a lot of wives rejection of their marital obligations. I do have a friend who had the opposite problem with an ex-husband who was never in the mood. It was a major reason for their divorce but I think she is a bit of a high-T rarity.
DC,
Very pleased you have a keeper. I do too, but I suspect they are outliers; the "model" so to speak. But it is great isn't it?
Summer School lied to me.
This is really unfortunate, really.
It doesn't take a social scientist to point this point as any self-aware person observing the social behaviours of men and women see this stuff play out in everyday life.
___________
Other than that "pointing out the obvious" everyone knows instinctively, the burden for the action lies solely at the hands of men to lead and be good to their wives and learn Game in order to arouse their wife's attention, attraction and loyalty and do their best by God's Grace to keep the marriage alive.
In marriage "ideally" it's 100% from both the husband and wife. Even if wifey might not be doing as she needs to, the man being the HEAD of the marriage has to be the one to be "strong" and "bear the burden" as men have always done since the beginning in Genesis.
Sucks in the natural but only the men with the utmost faith and respect in God will not let the resentment, hatred and anger of their wives and people in society hurt their emotions to drive them off from obeying God's Commandments.
Because I'm sticking to the "Christian mandate" and because it is only the right, true good thing to do MARRIAGE is the God-Sanctioned way to sex. Men must marry the women they want to be their wives.
It's even better if men marry the women God wants them to marry as God Leads them in their lives to that point.
In the honest reality of it all, being a "young man" myself because I'm for marriage, I must warn and advise my peers to be aware of the realities of "modern marriage" in this Western society nation, and not go in "blind and dumb" and end up a "hateful sight".
My truest prayers out to my young men peers that if it be the Lord's Will for them to marry a wife, that they marry the woman GOD wants them to marry and fight the battle that is marriage with His Help.
I've learned not to "put something" on someone I wouldn't "choose for myself".
My only suggest for my young peers looking to settle down and marry a wife is to have your "stuff in order" or at least have a stable income, a lot of money, a house, place of your own in your name; basically your own life before a woman is invited into your own life and "merged together".
Every man must do what is right and good for himself and if the man is actually following *GOD'S PLAN* for his life overall, my "opinion" is of little or no consideration.
~ Bro. Jed
Bard, kudos. My wife is highly unusual, very feminine while lacking in the toxic behaviors of most women. In truth, I had no idea what I landed way, way back when she was (quite literally) 15 years old (I was 16, not robbing the cradle.)
I try to figure out what made her the way she is because, while we didn't have any girls, we do already have two granddaughters. While our role in their rearing is minor to near zero (it's their parents' job), if there was a special tip/trick to helping them be high-spectrum feminine/good and low-spectrum female/toxic, I'd pass it along.
A few things do stand out to me:
1. Cute girls are ruined by the constant saturation of male attention once they hit puberty. Either they have to be isolated from too much of it, or they have to be late-bloomers, else they're usually ruined by 17.
2. I still wonder how to counter the cesspool of modern culture. Girls are the social sex and have more innate difficulty eschewing the herd's pull. I am utterly certain that every message in our culture about sex is botulism-level toxic. Girls are told to devalue the most important job in any society, producing and properly raising the next generation, in favor of screwing around. Men are told to screw every hole that walks by. Both pieces of advice are utter lunacy, but here we are. It doesn't require Biblical references to see that breaking the link between sex and intimacy/pair-bonding is stupid. But in these times of perceived "unlimited resources," it seems unnecessary to cultivate your Apocalypse Buddy, the partner on whom you will utterly depend no matter what life throws at you.
The problem is, by the time we're late teens the die is cast and remediation is nearly impossible. Not completely impossible, but very rare. Most nice-looking girls are notching the bedpost by 16-18, squandering the capital with which they were born. I hope my granddaughters avoid that folly.
If you go back and read the left theorists from the mid 50s to just before feminism became a thing and had to hide it's foundations, you'll see that the main reason it was being pushed was population control. This effect, along with the pill, has succeeded so well that it was necessary to import 60 million new "citizens" to provide corporations with automatic upward slanting bottom lines.
How the heck was such a reasonable and honest student of behaviors allowed to earn a degree in social science?
These wives have stopped having sex with their husbands.
They haven't necessarily stopped having sex.
I also suspect that being cut off also leads to other behaviors not previously mentioned, such as drinking. Alcohol has been one traditional method that men have used to deaden their sex drive, and it does in fact seem to have a biological basis:
Sexually Frustrated Flies Are Driven to Drink
This makes it sound so superficial and biological. The lack of sex is a sign of rejection. This is much more damaging to the relationship than the man not having his pipes cleaned often enough.
I think this is true, and I think men who step out on their wives more often do so not because they're looking for sex but because they're looking for affection, even if they don't necessarily see it in those terms.
You're a retard, Rmax.
"This is why, if nothing else, dread game is an imperative for married men. Keeping the wives slim and attractive through small doses of mate guarding anxiety."
It doesn't even need to be that extreme. Something as simple as getting your hair cut by a gal who is single and cute...and your wife knows about it.
@Mountain Man
"It doesn't even need to be that extreme. Something as simple as getting your hair cut by a gal who is single and cute...and your wife knows about it."
We're on the same page in that respect. As I said, small doses. However, I think you may be defining dread game too narrowly. As Rollo once said, "Good dread game doesn't even have to be initiated by you. Often enough, women will do it themselves." Dread game can range from a tiny change to your routine without explanation, to blatantly touching and flirting with another woman in front of your current girl. Either way it's still dread game.
@Megamerc This is much more damaging to the relationship than the man not having his pipes cleaned often enough.so go nba18mt.com to have a relax found some funny things,many nba 18 or 17 coins for you
Stg58 - Rmax isn't a retard; he knows exactly what he's doing. Nobody hits that many conspiracy-theorist triggers by accident. He's a false-flag operative, trying to get people to agree with him so that he can (under a different name) point to Vox Day's comments section and say "Look at the terrible people who comment here! Look how awful the alt-right is!"
Which is why it's important that SOMEBODY point out, every time he shows up, that they he's a false-flag operative, and that they aren't fooled. (I say "they" instead of "we" because I rarely read the comments here any more, so it usually won't be me).
As usual, the Google signin is showing me as "Unknown" and I still haven't managed to change that. I don't intend to be anonymous; my name is Robin Munn.
Why hello, fellow racists, why don't we go and lynch us some niggers, eh? I promise I'm not really an undercover fuckhead.
"Which is why it's important that SOMEBODY point out, every time he shows up, that they he's a false-flag operative..."
I was going to vote spambot.
@Robin Munn
I'd say that Rmax is a fairly typical Gamma, given how he considers himself both a "PUA" and a "Mgtow". It's only a matter of time before VD comes in, Rmax gets in an argument with him, and then gets banned.
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