Linda B., 48, admitted that after 23 years of marriage, she doesn't have any interest in having sex with her husband — and she is fine with that. 'I’ve had all the sex I need to in my life, and truthfully, I’m just over it. Plus I’m a little bored,' she explained.One thing I've noticed over the years is that with the exception of the overly jealous types, women usually a) overrate their own attractiveness, and b) underrate the attractiveness their husbands hold to other women.
Like Ruth's boyfriend, Linda said her husband is having trouble understanding her sudden lack of interest, and he has even suggested that they take a 'sex class' or 'order a book on Amazon' so they can rev up their sex life.
However, Linda explained to him that although she loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him, she doesn't want to have sex with him right now.
'He has to deal with that. He doesn’t have much of a choice,' she noted.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Actually, he has lots of choices
Then again, if her husband was the sort of man who wouldn't put up with spousal abandonment, she probably wouldn't have lost attraction to him in the first place:
48 comments:
There is always choice and women should, I said should get that through their hamster brains. Unfortunately most men are still plugged in and don't get. My now ex wife fell into that- now that we've had kids, I don't need sex, trap and while it took me several more years of beta blue pill, I finally saw the light. Never again.
I notice they didn't bother asking the men if they are "fine with it" that their wives aren't putting out and whether or not they have no choice other than to deal with it.
The large, very active "dead bedrooms" and "married redpill" subreddits suggest that men are not fine with it and don't have to accept it.
An abandoned spouse (dead bedroom victim) has been given permission to seek sex elsewhere. It's not cheating. How do you cheat on a roommate?
No sex equals abandonment. Don't try it, I am not a bad looking guy, you will be replaced quickly. This is not an issue to take a middle road on, being understanding only makes the problem last longer and get worse. And do not think a woman should put up with her man showing no interest. Sex is damn near a right inside marriage
"women usually a) overrate their own attractiveness"
Totes! This is particularly true for American women. It's amusing to watch how haughtily they carry themselves, seemingly proud of their wine-fed guts and smudged, trailer-trash faces. Arrogant war-pigs.
I'm sure she'd be okay if he did the same. He's done all the work he needs in his life. Lower paying less stressful job. She's a strong independent woman who can maintain her own vehicle and pay her own credit card bills. Of she can just learn to not spend money. She'll have to deal with that, she doesn't have a choice.
Sarcasm off
Dr Laura used to say, he's going to get a girl friend on the side or a divorce, pick one.
I was in an abandoned marriage for years.
The women in the marriage think they don't get anything from the husband.
After they divorce or if he wakes up and finds another woman, women do find that the guy they "loved, but fell out of love with" provided a lot of emotional support. The women may not verbalize or understand the sudden emptiness that consumes their lives, but it appears. Or they may understand he gives support, but don't realize how much women lean on men for emotional stability.
It's been five years for me since I took the RP. The difference in post-marital lives is staggering. My ex aged about ten years in that period and it's not just the love goggles coming off.
he's going to get a girl friend on the side or a divorce, pick one.
If the wife wants to be a bitch about it, she can threaten divorce if he gets the girlfriend. In today's family law climate, that might well cost him more than he's willing to pay. So really, how much choice does he have?
Step 1: second passport
Step 2: begin transfer of easily transferable wealth to overseas jurisdiction
Step 3: create overseas company
Step 4: put house/car/boat/non moveable assets into overseas company name
Step 5: file divorce
Step 6: when total assets are divided up show other side you have nothing and wait for the court to impute, order you to buy her mansion under pain of prison, etc.
Step 7: board plane...
It would be a hard bridge to rebuild with a wife after she has stated publicly she's done with sexxing you.
The marriage is over. Either he wises up and divirces the slug, or stays put and feeds his junior a steady stream of porn, Asian "massage" artists at the local jack-shack, or he has affairs.
The best move is to dump the "strong" independent cunt, so she can conquer the world by hoarding cats and Happy Meal toys.
Swagger through the house with another woman's stink on you.
Dumping a woman who refuses to put out sex within a marriage needs to be included in Christian moral teachings. The fact is we are loosing a war of domination by feminists who care nothing for the damage they inflict on others.
@ceerilan remind women that polygamy is just fine and he can take another wife
Hey Vox, pardon my ignorance here but does this happen because 1.) they aren't attracted to their husbands or 2.) is this about the way they are having sex / their sexual personalities?
Let me tell you a quick tale of two girlfriends so you'll understand where I'm coming from here:
Girlfriend 1 was 26 years old when we met. I think I was partner number 5 for her. She was a liberal (not sure if that matters) and for her sex was: lights off, no talking, eyes closed. It felt very mechanical.
Girlfriend 2 was 27 years old when we met. She was a virgin and conservative (not sure if that matters) and for her sex was: lights on, eyes open, plenty of talking. With GF2 sex was smiling and laughter and joy. Sometimes I would even make her laugh during sex. One time, about a year into our relationship, we were going at it and I stopped but didn't pull out and said: "GF2 I have something very important to tell you!", she looked up at me and said "what is it?", and I said, "I think I'm getting a crush on you." We both started laughing. Sex with GF2 was like the kind of uninhibited playing that two kids would have.
If these people are ever having GF2 type sex, I can't imagine giving that up. Some of my friends have commented on how different people have different sexual personalities so I'm wondering if that plays a (big?) role in all of this.
Sex is damn near a right inside marriage
@Verne
It's not "damn near" a right. It "is" a right, by divine law.
Swagger through the house with another woman's stink on you.
@Matt
And it's not even that difficult. Many women even leave perfume on their hands and wrists.
@Puzzle Privateer
Ironically enough, it would appear that women with low N counts tend to give better sex.
"I’m just over it. Plus I’m a little bored"
Sounds like she's just starting the single life.
He should bite the bullet and divorce her. At first he'll be destroyed and her life will seem great. So long as he avoids alimony though his life will get better and better and her's will get worse and worse.
My wife decided this after two years of marriage. So I simply out-sourced the sex part to other women who were interested (what my wife described as "boring and repetitive", other women found thrillingly slow and sexy, orgasm after orgasm!). I left the child-bearing and house keeping in-house. Thirty years later, wifey is PO'ed, but still around.
Another classic unicorn tale for all of you who look down on me for warning you about the road ahead. Why marry these women if this is ALWAYS the outcome??
Get nothing... After a lot of something?
Buy high ......and then sell low?
Winning!!
"...women usually a) overrate their own attractiveness..."
Only usually? I have an acquaintance, a solid 4, whom I call twenty-five-and-a-half because she once said "I'm an 8...8.5...9 with makeup."
The rest of the article is a hoot too:
"Sarah B., 24, explained that when she lost interest in having sex with her boyfriend two years into their relationship, she realized she was still attracted to females even though she thought she was 'over' hooking up with women.
Even though she still loved her boyfriend, she thought her feelings may only be friendly. After not wanting to have sex with him for three months straight, she finally confessed how she was feeling.
Although he was 'taken aback and a little offended' at first, they were able to come to a compromise.
'We met each other in the middle, and now we have an open relationship, which I feel is modern and most people understand,' Sarah said. "
Modern Churchianity does not acknowledge spousal abandonment of the husband. If the wife isn't willing to give him sex and affection he has to suck it up because adultery.
The problem in such relationships occurred long before, possibly before the couple even met.
Normal women like sex. They enjoy the orgasms (his & hers) and the emotional intimacy sex generates.
If they don't, there's frankly something wrong with them, or else the stupid woman has decided she erred in coupling with this particular man (possibly due to her grossly overestimating her market value.) Lots of girls are, of course, crazy right from the factory.
Either way, she's the wrong gal. Unless she realizes her error and pours herself into fixing herself, she's a throwback.
Exception: hubby let himself go Full lard, or by demonstrated action shows her he'd rather hang with his bros than with her. He can't turn around and throw stones from his glass house.
Take away the risk of pregnancy (and distractuons like kids and job) and a normal woman who actually loves her man won't be able to get enough of him.
There is no substitute for getting the mate choice right the first time.
"'We met each other in the middle, and now we have an open relationship, which I feel is modern and most people understand,' Sarah said. "
Translation: he's hoping for a FFM 3-way.
"I’ve had all the sex I need to in my life, and truthfully, I’m just over it. Plus I’m a little bored,' she explained."
Until a woman 1/3 her age with an ass 2X tighter/smaller - begins openly flirting with her husband and he responds favorably.
Watch that flabby old coin purse go from the dryness of the Sahara desert to as moist as a cool mountain spring.
@dc.sunsets
..which will never happen with him - because he's such a puss.
"exception of the overly jealous types, women usually a) overrate their own attractiveness,"
Do you feel thats due to insecurities they have?
I ask b/c my wife can be extremely jealous. She really doesn't have to be. She's very cute, fit and sweet. But also very shy. She's never admitted it to me, but I also sense there are insecurities there that affect this.
@ mountain man, I'm mid-50's and just recently figured out how much other women have, over the years, "wiggled their butts" at me primarily to get my wife going. Only recently did it start to piss her off, but the cattiness of it is quite offensive. My wife's not insecure, but her annoyance is understandable. The women are trying to do what a roommate of hers from college openly aimed for: "I want my face on his next O," she'd say.
I'm not sure if women's propensity to overrate their attractiveness is due to insecurity or just the pervasive feminist delusion of this time in history. Lots of bitches be crazy, no?
True story: once on a vacation to Clearwater Beach I was sand sculpting my usual life-sized nude girl (it's a hobby) and a very attractive woman wearing a thong bikini walked to exactly between the water & me, turned her butt to me and waded into the Gulf...but made sure to note that I saw her and my wife noticed that I saw her.
Women that vicious should be treated like king cobras.
"Linda" was my (now ex-)wife. She too thought that shutting off sex in the marriage, permanently, would be something that I'd be just fine with, or that I'd just "deal with it" and that I "didn't have any choice," and that I'd never DARE kick her to the curb because of it.
Wrong she was, on all four counts.
After putting up with it for five long years (at least 4.75 years longer than I should have), I pulled the divorce trigger. She had been staying with relatives in another state for several months at the time and the screechy, panicky, hysterical calls that blew up my phone on the day that my lawyer had her served with divorce papers were something to behold. She truly never thought that I'd draw a line in the sand and say "enough is enough, NO MORE!"
I'm now in my second year of freedom and have never felt better. Not hurting for younger, hotter female companionship at all either (and I'm just an average-looking, average-build middle-aged white guy).
The ex, meanwhile, is deep in depression and living the cat-lady existence.
So yes, guys, you DO have options. LOTS OF THEM. In fact, if you have even a bare minimum of game and a little bit of motivation, quality female companionship will not be a problem AT ALL. There is NEVER any reason for a man to suffer a "dead bedroom" marriage. Not ever.
Will women discover this and learn from it? Not likely, especially here in America. Will a divorce cost you as a husband. Yes, but trust me, the peace of mind and relief is worth every penny of it (with even a halfway decent divorce attorney you can minimize your obligations, as I did, especially if there are no minor children involved).
So, "ladies:" those of you who have decided you don't want sex from hubby anymore had better either steal yourselves for divorce papers or reconcile yourselves to the fact that he's going to find another woman elsewhere who will become his de facto second wife. If you don't take care of your husbands needs, some other woman gladly will. It's that simple. And inevitable. Put up or shut up.
Even worse than no sex - is duty sex. Its pretty much the equivalent of fucking a blow up doll or wet fish.
My previous wife ( a cold hearted "Christian feminist" ) was the ice queen of duty sex. Many a time when I'd say "lets have sex" the reply would be " if you want to - followed by a sigh". It was enough to make the boner disappear.
Eventually I just to turned to other more invigorating outlets and the marriage folded
@ dc Sunsets
Funny story.
Anyone who penned the line " If women ruled the world- there would be no wars" is a blithering idiot.
They are capable of viciousness with each other that rivals no other creature alive.
He has no choice?
Jean Paul Sarte would argue his choices are infinite. I would agree.
Don't these dudes have any pride? I was fairly blue pill in my younger years, coming from a very 'churchian' upbringing, but one thing I always had was a strong sense of pride. Even at my worst, no way in hell I would let a wife parade around telling everybody she wasn't interested in having sex with me.
'He has to deal with that. He doesn’t have much of a choice,' she noted.
Delusion like that always makes me laugh. As if he doesn't have 3.5 billion other choices, possibly 7 billion if he's charming enough. She fails to realize that when he's made his choice, it will be her turn to the one who "has to deal with it".
If women ruled the world- there would be no wars
'Gareth, one of the few who did not commit suicide following the Passive-Aggressive Facebook Posting Kerfuffle of 2017, describes the terrifying events of those times as "being hit by an emotional neutron bomb".
"It's like, yeah, maybe nobody actually died, but my capacity to feel joy has been totally annihilated," said the hollowed-eyed part-time dog walker.'
Good grief Charlie Brown.
Until a woman 1/3 her age with an ass 2X tighter/smaller - begins openly flirting with her husband and he responds favorably.
It doesn't need to be that drastic of a difference. However, the more drastic the difference, the more emotional the response.
He should not waste a dime on her. No ass, no cash. That simple.
Why are we assuming that Linda B.'s husband can get a girlfriend if he decides to go that route? He's almost certainly at an age where his SMV is declining (not as fast as hers, of course, but still) and he didn't have enough Game to keep her from losing interest. The 80/20 rule doesn't give him very good odds.
People enter relationships like a deluge, but their ardor fails one tiny drip at a time. Who the heck knows the real story in He said, She said.
I know a guy who expected his (bat-guano crazy) wife to blow him, but he considered reciprocating "icky." A photo from a Penthouse of a young woman's aroused genitalia (Mm-mmm-good!) elicted an "oh, gross" from a guy living a few doors down the dorm hall in college. How many marriages fail because wifeypooh has never had a halfway decent sexual encounter with hubby, because hubby has a head full of hangups as large or larger than hers?
Inch by inch, each spouse lets their interest fade, lets their bodies go, all the while secure in the delusion bubble that it's the Other One who's F-ing up their marriage. Lust in marriage is like keeping a plate spinning on top of a stick. Not that difficult unless occasional investment of attention, time and effort is foregone. Age is inevitable, loss of interest is not. In all such cases, someone is "Doing. It. Wrong." If they're both dumpy and distracted, who is chicken and who is egg?
That said, most people are idiots, most people are Mass-Minded, and thus for most people happiness will persistently elude them, one way or another.
PS: the article mentions the Pill (OC's) as a culprit in one case. I think this is the Elephant in the Living Room. OC's are a con job. They replace fear of unintended pregnancy with disinterest in sex (and physical changes that make sex less enjoyable for women in the first place.) What a scam.
The article seems to be normalizing sexless hetero relationships. Just another brick in the Betty Friedan style of All-Dyke, All The Time misandrist feminism.
If we had a clue, all men would gut-shoot every lesbian feminist Right Now.
Why are we assuming that Linda B.'s husband can get a girlfriend if he decides to go that route? He's almost certainly at an age where his SMV is declining (not as fast as hers, of course, but still) and he didn't have enough Game to keep her from losing interest. The 80/20 rule doesn't give him very good odds.
Because there is no shortage of woman her age who don't have a husband, and they're competing with younger women. He has more potential to improve his game than she has to improve her attractiveness.
It's not a guarantee; Vox points out that he wouldn't be in this situation if he had game. But he does have more options.
Why are we assuming that Linda B.'s husband can get a girlfriend if he decides to go that route? He's almost certainly at an age where his SMV is declining (not as fast as hers, of course, but still) and he didn't have enough Game to keep her from losing interest. The 80/20 rule doesn't give him very good odds.
We aren't suggesting he would have hot babes fighting over him everywhere he went. But the wife's assertion that he doesn't have much of a choice is absolutely ludicrous. He would have plenty of choices. And many of them would actually be willing to have sex with him! That alone makes them better prospects.
The women he would be able to shack up with might be uglier, cuter, nicer, meaner, older, younger, whatever - but they are there. There are literally MILLIONS of women in the country this guy could potentially end up with. He HAS a choice. He has many.
My wife wanted a divorce and I said yes. Religious people had advised her as such. She was certainly right that she could ruin me in terms of the community we were in. But she was wrong in terms of my chances in the real world. Nicer, sweeter, and better looking is what I got instead.
@Avraham
Same here. The ex got tenure and I got a much sweeter & prettier replacement bride
@Avraham & MM:
The sweetest form of revenge is simply to live a great life with the "replacement" who really, truly loves you and can't get enough of you. The taste is even more savory if the ex who just KNEW you'd never get any, ever again, is living the "Lonely Cat Lady on Prozac" stereotype.
FEMINISM=DESTROYER Even though the church refused to acept this TRUTH!
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