Friday, April 1, 2016

The right wish

Le Chateau shares the beautiful fable of the cisgender genie:
Finally, the genie turns to the shitlord.

“Maybe YOU will choose wisely?”

The shitlord ponders, (stoically, not theatrically, as is the wont of effeminate males). He thinks this is a mischievous genie, who will grant his wish with a baleful clause attached.

“I wish to make America great again.”


Many years later, revolution shakes the country to the core. President Trumputin imposes an immigration moratorium. Unfair trade agreements are torn up, deportation cars haul illegal aliens back home by the millions, colleges have stopped offering black and women’s studies, gay marriage is repealed, SJWs and feminists are laughed out of public discourse, heteronormativity is the norm, the Middle East is abandoned to its petty inbred warlords, and America is great again. The nation is so great, in fact, that the shitlord has many sons and daughters, and all of them can buy affordable homes in high-trust White neighborhoods with good schools, and bless him with a small army of grandchildren.

Now an old man, the shitlord is visited by the genie one more time.

“Why did you not ask for a beautiful daughter or a smart son? Your wish unleashed chaos for millions of Americans, and guaranteed you nothing in return.”
When presented with the chance, always choose greatness. The benefits are not merely beyond imagination, they are literally incalculable.


Hammerli 280 said...

The Greeks said that when Daedalus learned the secret of making steel from the gods, he made his for his friend, King Minos, a sword. "Why a sword?," Daedalus' friends asked. "A sword will not make Minos happy."

Daedalus replied, "I would not make Minos happy. I would make him great."

Greatness has a price...but it lets you write your name into the rock of history in letters of gold.

Oliver Märk said...

A wonderful post of heartist. Thank you for the information.


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Aeoli Pera said...

Loved the ending.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"always choose greatness"

Yes, this.

Thomas Howard said...

The short story fiction (from both Roosh and Heartiste) is some of their best work. Roosh's scientifically developed texting game app comes to mind.

ScottC said...

This guy is nuts. I love what Trump has done to the Republican establishment, but he is not a magical being.

Aeoli Pera said...

The short story fiction (from both Roosh and Heartiste) is some of their best work. Roosh's scientifically developed texting game app comes to mind.

It's not even science fiction. Computers are sending women e-mails and giving them tingles:

Sometimes, though, my anime boyfriends still managed to surprise me. One dreary day in February, I came back from a long weekend to an email from an unfamiliar address with the subject line: "Callie." The brevity made it seem harsh; upon first glance, I assumed it to have been sent by an Internet misogynist. In fact, it was from Scorpio, a character from the Voltage Inc. game Star-Crossed Myth. I had signed up to receive emails from him ("for research") and forgotten about it. "I can't believe I fell for a cheeky, stubborn, hard-headed girl like you. Woman, you really are a pain in the ass to deal with..." the email read (ellipsis his—he really is mysterious). "You're nothing but trouble, but... It looks like... I need you."

(H/T Heartiste)

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