Friday, July 17, 2015

Delta Perspective: Making a Change

Making a change in dating takes three ingredients:
  • Information
  • Timing
  • Catalyst
I don’t think it’s possible to make a significant change in relationships and dating without all three of these things coming together at once. This arguably holds true for many other types of change as well.

Looking back at my life there were times years ago both women and men told me the right information, but the timing was wrong. How many times has good advice fallen on deaf ears in your life? This isn’t just about the Red Pill, but life in general. Once a man has the information it does no good if the timing for change is wrong. There may be legitimate reasons why a sudden perspective change on something significant like women and relationships just can’t happen right then. The guy could be finishing up a degree, moving, looking for work, etc., all which take priority. The man could also be enjoying the easy road of porn, games, and hanging out too much. He has the info because he’s read all about the Red Pill, there’s nothing significant stopping him from acting, but there’s no change.

The most important ingredient in our change soup is a catalyst which facilitates the change. It could be a negative one like a bad breakup, sickness, being put on the friends list one more time, or just intolerable loneliness. Positive reasons for change happen too, like love, the birth of a child, and a dedication to better mental and physical health. There has to be a concrete driver of the change or no action will take place.

If you are wondering why you can’t change then seek out of these three things what’s missing and try to find it. If you have a buddy who’s stuck be a friend by being patient and the helping where you can, but ultimately it’s his life and decision to change. So don’t despair if change doesn’t happen quickly or easily, but instead store up good information, seek enough stability in your life to make a change, and look for motivation. Most of all don’t give up.


Anonymous said...

To that end, you never have to be a prisoner of yesterday’s errors or actions. Awareness (mindfulness) makes it possible to become aware of new information that alters your knowledge and, potentially alters your old habits and behavior. Cutting edge psychotherapeutic modalities can help collapse self-organizing structures built on defense values that no longer serve purpose but remain trapped in “time” and still get in the way of better behavior (or in the case of the Red Pill, collective awareness is helping to collapse previously held worldviews that weren’t working out for men.)

Living an examined life is a worthy pursuit. The alternative is to continue on being estranged from your positive potentialities and the need\wants that further your life while you’re here.

A previous girl (a high maintenance, difficult one (we don’t want difficult, I explained) used to tell me “Leopards never change their spots”. Bullshit. Science proves change can happen on the cellular level. The emergence of epigenetics is testament to that fact.

Brad Andrews said...

The principle about spots not changing is good when judging others. We need to realize it is possible, but quite challenging, when applying it to ourselves.

SirHamster said...

Interesting how few comments there are here relative to the earlier ones in the series.

The post makes a point about looking for motivation. I tend to think of motivation as a thing that just exists, as opposed to something that is chosen and accumulated. Coincidentally, I lack ambition and tend to think, "why bother?"

What have people found effective for finding motivation?

Anonymous said...

Interesting how few comments there are here relative to the earlier ones in the series.

Yeah, I find that weird too.

I know in my own case, I wasn't really motivated until I both found myself drifting with no idea as to what I wanted to do, as well as having a good crash-and-burn with a oneitis.

I also suspect that a lack of ambition in many cases is due to this sort of drifting, where you don't know what you want to do. I actually had to take a test from an employment advisor, got a strong hint as to what I should be doing, and shortly, did find something perfect for me.

SciVo said...

Well, I saw a good motivation at the bar the other night. Just my type. Out of my league as I am, but with a few simple (albeit not easy) projects, I think I'd have a chance.

I have the information, it's a good time since so many things are up in the air right now anyway -- a real transition period -- and there's my catalyst.

SciVo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

SciVo is definitely a gamma:

- I I I I me me me me

- Considers his best romantic prospect to be a married woman

- Thinks his problem is that he doesn't slap / beat women enough

SciVo said...

Sorry about the drunk logorrhea.

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