Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Graduating Gamma 4

Graduating Gamma
Step Four: Mental

There is no man on the planet more intellectually dishonest than a Gamma, as even an Omega has enough self-awareness to avoid being a buffoon at social event and will instead stay at home and play computer games. Everything from a Gamma is a con or a presented image because behind that shell is a scared, miserable boy who uses whatever tools are at his disposal to build the Gamma Delusion Bubble. The Gamma Delusion Bubble shields the Gamma from somehow and some way ever being wrong about anything, as there is no being wrong about “something”, there is only being a wrong “person”. His identity is so tied up in his opinions about everything, including himself, that any slip-up is a catastrophe which must be avoided at all costs.

I don’t know

The second-most terrifying statement for a Gamma is to admit that he doesn’t know something. A Gamma constantly speaks of having knowledge in areas he most certainly does not. Being ignorant for a Gamma is being discredited as a person, so they will do what is in their power to bluff, obfuscate, and redirect people so others don’t see their ignorance. If you wish to escape the life of a Gamma you must learn the statement, “I don’t know” and use it when it is appropriate.

I must unfortunately take a moment to explain to the binary-thinking Gammas that no, you do not go from being a know-it-all to blurting out “I don’t know” at the start of nearly every conversation, feel the need to explain all of the time now about how you don’t know something, and talk about how proud you are about not to knowing things. You may laugh at this, but I know Gammas well, and there are some out there who will do this exact thing thinking they are improving their situation, until it obviously doesn’t work and they blame this post for their failures.

In simple practice you say this when needed and you honestly don’t know about the topic at hand. While at first glance it seems easy enough if you are a Gamma, it is difficult in reality. It’s challenging because typically you’ve already hung yourself on your own ignorance in a conversation by saying way more than you should have, and by the time you are challenged on a point, having to say you don’t know part of it means your entire argument might collapse. Think about this for a moment. If you are saying so much that if someone challenges a point, and by admitting that you don’t know about something in which you are pontificating about, it destroys what you are saying, where was your first error? It was bull-shitting in the first place. Stop making definitive statements about things if you can’t back them up with logic or evidence, unless it is clearly a subjective opinion of little matter.

Examples of subjective opinions of little matter: favorite color, sports teams, movies you like, the hottest actress. You don’t have to know why you have a favorite sports team or why you like green over blue, it doesn’t matter. On the other hand if you think we should use gold as a currency rather than fiat, you’d better know all about the subject before trying to tell people how the monetary system should be run. Gammas do not want to admit ignorance, they want to appear intelligent, so they overreach their arguments and then feel they can’t backtrack an inch.

I am wrong

The most terrifying statement for a Gamma is admitting he is wrong about something. You must start to take responsibility for your words and actions if you want to stop being a Gamma. Once again, this is exceedingly difficult if you are not used to doing it. Do you realize the power there is in the words: “I am wrong”? These aren’t words of weakness but of power, first, because you speak the truth, and second, because this truth allows you room for correction. In other words, if you never admit you are wrong, you can never correct your thinking. 

Instead of trying to bluff when asked if you know something about what you’ve stated, say this instead: “You make a good point, I don’t know.” They may leave it at that and let it go, which means you just got off easy. If they push the point and destroy your shoddy argument, you now have to take the beating like a man. Don’t whine, don’t ask for mercy, don’t lie, don’t get snarky, and don’t disappear, TAKE IT. Then, when they are finished demolishing your ill-conceived statements, you should reply: “I was wrong. I didn’t think that through very well and it turns out you were right.” Sucks doesn’t it? Think of it this way, you picked a fight with someone tougher than you and you got a bloody nose. Now, are you going to go run home to mommy crying or are you going to train harder for the next fight? If you want to know what separates a Gamma from a Delta in the Mental aspect of life it is this response right here. A Delta knows when he is beaten and will submit, but Gamma knows he is beaten and then lies incessantly to himself and others about the loss because he cannot admit defeat.

This is why Gammas hate and fear Alphas so much, as an Alpha will not relent and will keep beating someone (in a physical fight, rhetoric, or dialectic) until the other submits or it is clear to everyone that he has defeated the opponent. Everyone else in the hierarchy will submit or be destroyed, but the Gamma will never admit defeat and so the Alpha will keep throwing punches until onlookers literally start to beg the Gamma to stop making a fool of himself. The Gamma’s appeals will get more hysterical, more emotional and the Alpha will take the hysteria, form it into a club, and splatter the Gamma's proverbial brains all over the pavement to the eventual horror (or in some cases, snickers), of the crowd.

In an online environment, a Gamma can act like a buffoon forever until he disappears or is banned from a site for his actions; in real life eventually the Gamma is socked in the nose or worse when he plays this sort of game with an Alpha one too many times. I think all boys have witnessed this at least once: some little twerp mouths off to the leader of the group of boys (not a bully, but the de facto leader), and the next thing the twerp knows is he has a black eye and is running to women for protection from the “bully”. Don’t mistake this for defending bullies, I hate bullies, this is a kid being a smart-aleck towards another boy in an attempt to undermine his status, who pays for it, but then won’t accept his status after being put in his place. Since most adults never get into any physical confrontation the most common scenario you’ll see is the Gamma mouth off to a man of higher status, the higher-status man turns around, looks them in the eye, and challenges them. The Gamma will generally turn pale and try to leave the situation, or he will lie about the challenge in the first place.

Let me clarify the challenge in the male hierarchy. It goes on all the time and is a natural part of life as a man. In fact, it’s healthy, as men are much more efficient as a group when the order is more or less defined. If a Delta challenges the Alpha, he gets smacked around a little, then gets back in line. The Gamma challenges the Alpha and doesn’t get back in line, instead he lies about the challenge, insults the Alpha’s character, tries to humor his way out of it, whines when he gets smacked, swears hatred towards the Alpha, and derides anyone who makes him feel bad or sides with the Alpha. He does anything and everything to lie about not being beaten. This is why in Bizarro Gamma World they will sometimes claim to be Alphas, because in their minds they are never beaten when everyone else sees a sorry sack of a man who is thoroughly and completed beaten, but won’t admit defeat. This isn’t a Rocky Balboa-type desire to never quit, which would be admirable, but rather, it would be like Rocky, after being beaten senseless by Clubber Lan,g then running around the ring talking about his gloves not being on right, he didn’t hear the bell, Lang being a hateful and racist fighter, then pretending the fight never happened while cracking lame jokes about boxing being a stupid sport. That Rocky would be loathsome and worthy of no respect.

Make or Break

This is it, this is the pivot point in which you can go from the Gamma mentality to the Delta mentality and perhaps even eventually beyond, which is admitting you are wrong and that you don’t know things. Once again, don’t just breeze through this point, but live it. Accept it. It is much more difficult than the average Gamma can even imagine and it will be terribly painful adjustment. It is shedding the skin of protective dishonesty, without which you will be more vulnerable to start with, but eventually much stronger. Some of you reading this post won't be able to make this journey with us. I can hear the Gamma wheels spinning now:  “I’m not really like that… he’s full of shit and wishes he was an Alpha… I don’t agree with something he wrote so it’s all invalid… this is just out-of-control masculinity… he’s not being Christ like in his attitude…”, and so on. To you I offer no consolation, only this advice: Enjoy your life as a Gamma. I don’t mean this as an insult, but rather don’t obsess over your inability to go beyond what you are, and let it ruin you completely. Don’t let “what could have been” be a cloud over your existence, but rather take what you’ve been given and make the most of it.

I have sympathy here for the Gamma attempting to cross this chasm on what looks like a frayed rope bridge, but it must be done, and it will be painful at times. Be prepared for the other Gammas you meet online and in person to pounce on your admittance to not knowing something, or to being wrong. Some of them will try to shout it like headline news. They will seize upon it, they will remember it, and they will try to use it against you, possibly forever. They are contemptible and you will find, as you leave being a Gamma, that you will have to leave your Gamma friends and acquaintances behind. A very righteous anger will grow in you against men who cannot forgive, cannot forget, and lie all of the time about themselves while always being ready to point out the slightest flaws in others. The fists that ball up in your hands at this behavior are normal, and good. Men should be outraged at this conduct; you should be furious that a liar uses good (admittance of wrong) to do evil in order to make themselves look better.

The good news is that everyone but Gammas understands this and will respect you more for taking this step. Women will admire you much more, and even a low Delta will silently nod his head, be your friend, and have respect for you when you own up to your intellectual shortcomings. This is normal behavior for men who are not Gammas. Don’t expect a parade for this behavior, though, or even a pat on the back very often, just don’t be surprised when someone appreciates your candor and gives you respect for it. What you are doing is moving from a world of darkness and lies into the light of truth. Believe me, it is a much better world. It is so much better that you cannot imagine it while you are still a Gamma. 

If you are ready to make this leap, then don’t just think about it, act upon it. Look for the next legitimate opportunity to admit you don’t know something when asked, admit that you are truly ignorant about the subject, and admit that you are wrong (using those very words!) when shown to be so. It probably won’t take very long to find the opportunity. In the next part, I’m going to give you some tools to help you on your way, and some examples of how to do this in life. 


swiftfoxmark2 said...

I suspect that a fight between an Alpha and a Gamma would be something like the following Kids in the Hall sketch:


Manu said...

Leaving the warren sucks. You get some idea for how loathsome of a human you were, and it's shocking. Gammaness is like a disease where the only cure is a repeated beating to the face. Even then, some remain sick.

I have an anecdotal example for Vox's readers. Some time ago at work, I stepped outside my role and responsibilities. In my role as a front-end developer I am good and experienced, but in the thing I was asked to do, I was only mediocre (I am not a back-end database guy). As the project was nearing completion, a guy was hired who actually knew the thing in question. He immediately questioned much of my work, and legitimately so.

At this juncture, I could have admitted that I was mediocre at it and probably received some credit and respect for attempting to tackle a task I was not suited for. And, in truth, the expert told me the job wasn't *that* bad, but wanted to show me the proper way. Instead, I attempted to defend my work and I belittled the new guy. He was not particularly Alpha, and so he didn't say anything to me.

But he brought in his Alpha boss. That man tore me up in front of everyone and I suspect I came *very* close to getting fired. But reason overcame me afterward and I remembered my place in the hierarchy. I knew I was wrong. I went to everyone I had wronged, and apologized sincerely to each, then talked to the boss. I told him that I was wrong, rude, handled things inappropriately and was prepared to suffer the consequences for my boorish behavior and shoddy work. And, in truth, I was. I expected I would need to fall on my sword and resign.

Instead, the Alpha surprised me and commended my earlier efforts. He was magnanimous and offered praise that I attempted to go beyond my areas of expertise and did so at least competently, even if not at an expert level. He liked the initiative, but did not like how I attempted to get in the way of improving the product. Once I had submitted and surrendered my position, things were fine between us. Indeed, I think I gained respect in his eyes, once it was all said and done.

I have worked well with them since.

slarrow said...

Vox, these Graduating Gamma pieces have been excellent, and you're right: this one is the most important so far.

You ever play Cowboys and Indians or Cops and Robbers (back when people didn't head to the fainting couches at the mere mention of such things) where you point your finger and say, "bang"? Ever stare down your finger at some kid, shout "bang! I got you!" to hear the kid say, "nuh-uh! You missed me! I dodged! I had protective armor! I have bulletproof skin! See, I got you instead!" That's where it starts.

Gammas can't say touche. Learning how to do so is vital to escaping that mental prison.

Anonymous said...

"Gammas can't say touche."

Yep. They are untouchable, after all.

Anonymous said...

Yes, this series has been excellent. Not just for full-blown Gammas, but for any man who's been dancing around something he doesn't want to admit, not facing some fault in himself squarely.

I suspect that a fight between an Alpha and a Gamma would be something like the following Kids in the Hall sketch:

Perfect. And that shows why arguing with them online is so pointless: you can't punch them in the face hard enough to make them stay down, short of banning them.

Stephen Ward said...

What would have happened had your work in fact been better than the expert's?

David The Good said...


Excellent story. Facing fear and failure and cutting through it by admitting fault is incredibly freeing and allows you to become better. Thanks for sharing.

Unknown said...

"It is much more difficult than the average Gamma can even imagine and it will be terribly painful adjustment. It is shedding the skin of protective dishonesty..."

The thing is I don't have to change so avoiding doing something about this is an easy path to take. I'd be better off going through the emotional pain, but given I've spent the last twenty years reinforcing this constructed false self its not gonna burst in a nice way, its likely I will cry in front of people, to do this at 41, an adult male, is pathetic.

I'm more aware what I'm doing a lot now, this is good in the sense I realize why whats happening is happening but its not necessarily a nice experience. Its easier to bury myself in distraction, and use drink to feed the "specialness". I find it difficult to stay in the moment going off somewhere in my head or on internet. There are immediate brain chemistry buzzes I get out of this.

I think I need to be depressed, dejected those sorts of things. Given its not low self-esteem, but unjustified high self-esteem thats the problem I should be unhappy, miserable and turn to people for help. I'm not meant to feel good the way I am, normal people wouldn't feel good. "How can you live like that?" But turning for help is weak, I know it is because the men who I look up to (I pretend I don't) probably haven't cried since they were a kid. Turning for help is a pragmatic thing not some meek internal battle.

I'm just looking for attention here I think. Its like I'm talking about an abstract me thats somewhere over there, not right here right now. I can understand how someone can stay in "therapy" for decades. Its safe there.

Manu said...

"What would have happened had your work in fact been better than the expert's?"

I don't know. But if it had been better, I probably would have been able to make a better argument in its favor, at least.

Prof. Spudd said...

@High Arka

Insanitybytes, is that you again?

Prof. Spudd said...

I suspect that a fight between an Alpha and a Gamma would be something like the following Kids in the Hall sketch:

This one too.

Desiderius said...

"I hate bullies"

Bullies are alphas too, but they only arise in environments where opportunities for legitimate hierarchy do not exist or have been suppressed.

maniacprovost said...

"Let me clarify the challenge in the male hierarchy. It goes on all the time and is a natural part of life as a man."

..What? I have rarely, rarely been challenged. I'm pretty sure that I head off these situations before they develop. Not saying I win all of them, maybe I'm avoiding or submitting, but rarely am I involved in a challenge. They were more common in High School I guess. I have witnessed a fair number of pissing matches* between others, either drunk low class slobs or managers, usually.
*I think that is the correct terminology and hence not vulgar.

Matthew said...

"Insanitybytes, is that you again?"


slarrow said...

Yeah, I checked insanitybytes22's Blogger profile from one of her old comments earlier and saw that the only blog she was following was High Arka. What a coincidence. That link has since been scrubbed, probably because she got caught yet again.

There have been a lot of useful examples the past few days for Game concepts, particularly the Gamma reactions. But Vox hasn't even written on female solipsism in a while, and yet insanitybytes22 comes in here to provide us a case study. She hijacks a thread about gamma males breaking free of gamma with a plea for attention and, when ignored, makes a direct demand to Vox who didn't even write this post! It's very instructive. Tedious, but instructive.

Perhaps Vox can create a label for Social-Sexual Hierarchy Exhibits (SSHE?) that could serve as a kind of zoo showcasing the kinds of people the Game terms describe. Then, every time skeptics come in and claim the categories are too broad or don't properly capture the nuances of how people really are, send them to the zoo.

Desiderius said...

High Arka,

"you seem to be saying"


If you think HR is legit, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

Prof. Spudd said...

Welp... looks like we have two more confirmed female Gamma specimens.

Matthew said...

insanitybytes is secretly squirrelkin.

Matthew said...

"It is wrong to call people you do not even know mean names."

Incorrect. The only appropriate response to strangers is to call them mean names.

VD said...

You wouldn't know what a gamma male is if one mounted your sagging, cottage-cheese ass, Gabby. You're a disgusting old whore and you're cyberstalking. Now go away. Again.

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