Thursday, February 5, 2015

Trust your instincts

This email Rollo shared from a soldier describes the experience of many a beta or delta concerning female disloyalty:
One girl, leading into Christmas break, said she was going to a techno show in a city about an hour away from our school. I was planning on studying for a final, so I didn’t bother trying to go. As the date neared I realized I felt comfortable about the final and I wanted to go out that night. I asked to go with her—she said no. And this is where I could see the hamster frantically spinning its wheel.

All her reasons were obvious bullshit. I know when a girl is seeing another guy, because I’ve been the other guy. I know what the stories are like. I ended it. I was heartbroken. I wondered constantly whether I had made the right call. I missed her desperately, and I constantly questioned whether my radar had been off. My male friends (now thoroughly blue-pill, as I was attending a liberal civilian grad school) told me I was overreacting and being paranoid and jealous and not respecting her space, blah blah blah… A whole year later a girl I was friends with let slip that my ex actually was meeting another guy in the city, and fucked him the day after I dumped her.

No surprise—but I was quite upset that a few other girls I was “friends” with had known and never told me. They could have saved me a lot of grief. But then again, they were women—I don’t quite get it, but it’s like all the girls were sticking up for each other and covering for each other, even though they weren’t really close friends. It’s almost as if they felt they needed to cover up the tactics that women use, and keep the men from knowing about them—as though there was a driving need they had to keep men in the dark as to the true nature of women.

In fact, I have never been steered in the right direction in relationships by any woman. And this will bring me around to my next point—the feminine dominated civilian environment—especially academia.

The second grad school relationship followed a path that was remarkably similar to my first—in fact, looking back, I have had three major relationships, with girls who wanted to be exclusive, and they have ended because the girls were becoming involved with other men.
There is one way, and only one way, to ensure loyalty and that is a ruthless willingness to walk away from a woman. Indeed, that is arguably the most reliable ALPHA tell from the woman's perspective; a man who is attractive and is not even remotely afraid to do without her.

I was not involved in a lot of exclusive relationships; I tended to avoid "the talk" like the plague. But exclusive or not, I ended them the moment I had any sense that the woman was even flirting with other men after having expressed some form of claim on me. I didn't usually bother "breaking up" with them, I simply stopped calling them, didn't take their calls, and directed my attention elsewhere.

Taking a call from another guy when I was there late at night or simply going for an evening run with an orbiter was sufficient reason to move on. It was rather amusing, later, to observe that my instincts were always correct; usually within a matter of months, the nexted girl would have at least gone on a date or three with the guy in question.

Trust your instincts and don't ever attempt to "keep" or "guard" a woman. If she wants to be with someone else, you don't want her. There too many girls on the girl tree to concern yourself with a disloyal one.

33 comments:

MATT said...

Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.

Trust said...

An ex of mine left town to to go to a party she was invited by a man she met in a chat room. I don't know what happened, but the fact that the words "pimp" and "69" appeared in his screen name told me more than I need to know. I never returned her calls or answered her emails again.

I was more hurt than I let on, but have never regretted shutting the door behind her. Even in the unlikely event nothing happened, her willingness to drive a hundred miles to meet pimp69 indicated a bleak future.

Unknown said...

'I ended them the moment I had any sense that the woman was even flirting with other men after having expressed some form of claim on me.'

A good rule of thumb...if they'll break their word like that in the dating phase, what's to stop them from breaking their vows when it is real in marriage.

Rek. said...

"don't ever attempt to "keep" or "guard" a woman. If she wants to be with someone else, you don't want her. There too many girls on the girl tree to concern yourself with a disloyal one."

Inner Game 101.

En-sigma said...

This is one of the reasons for sniping a young target girl from a thousand yards out. I could not bring myself to a club too often because seeing those girls in their natural habitat would make me ill. They were attractive, of course, but ultimately you have to know you are buying damaged goods, if even for a night. It bothered me wondering what kind of petri dish I was dipping my junk in. Woe to the man that went "downtown" in a city that strange.

This may also be why hunting appeals so much too me. Getting off the beaten trail and back to where nobody makes the effort to look can reward you with top notch prey. Inside and out.

In addition, I could never bring myself to re-catch one of the disloyal ones. Even when they mysteriously re-entered my limited circle.

SarahsDaughter said...

The advice that follows for women is to be honest. We know when we're feeling it or not - that "I can't stop thinking about him" feeling. When it occurs, we can barely contemplate spending time with our families or female friends much less another guy. If there is any inkling of wanting to have conversations with or spend time with another guy other than the one you are dating, end it with the first guy. Don't worry about his feelings should you end it with him, this is a cop out and is manipulative. If loyalty is not something you can offer, than outside of sex, you can not give him what he's looking for.

If you're dating a guy you have those feelings for and three to six months has passed without any mention of marriage, end that too. That high attraction will only last so long and a relationship plodding on without commitment will inevitably end when a period of lessened attraction occurs and is such a waste of time.

MATT said...

True, SD but when you get married, you shouldnt be paying much attention to other people. The opportunity should never arise. Never marry a woman with a career or one who hasn't shown real interest in children, like being a nanny. A woman who hates kids isnt suddenly going to love them, even if they are hers.

hank.jim said...

The point is never be exclusive very quickly. Force her to earn it. Women only want to tie you down, yet if they can get a better offer, they take that chance too. Funny thing is we usually expect men to behave that way and women don't do such things. Times have changed to where men and women both seek options. No one should be trusted.

Dark Herald said...

I loath branch swingers.

They are so damn non-confrontational. You don't even know the relationship is in trouble, until it has ended.

Why?

Because they will fake it and pretend everything is terrific.

Although there are a few tells to look for. The biggest is the sudden, big, out of blue, bank busting, romantic gesture on her part.

It could be that she suddenly finds you a lot sexier than she did last week and there is no guilt on her part at all. Even though you are quite certain, she was ducking your calls the week before that and hasn't been returning your texts on a regular basis for a while. None of that, necessarily means there is a nuclear dumping in your immediate future.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Exactly, Vox. Just walk away and find another one. There are way too many girls out there. An abundance mentality is key.

I ended it with a young blonde hottie (9.0/9.5) a couple of years ago simply because I was bored with her. She was jaw-droppingly shocked at what I did and was obviously not used to being discarded. Within a couple of weeks I was fucking my way through a succession of local women 20s-30s--including a blonde 20-year old hottie--and haven't looked back. I still see the hot blonde around town. I try to catch her eye and smile at her when she sees me, thinking about what I did.

Retrenched said...

How guys deal with breakups:

I was heartbroken. I wondered constantly whether I had made the right call. I missed her desperately, and I constantly questioned whether my radar had been off.

How girls deal with breakups:

A whole year later a girl I was friends with let slip that my ex actually was meeting another guy in the city, and fucked him the day after I dumped her.

Something to keep in mind next time you're tempted to put your special snowflake up on a pedestal.

Trust said...

@Retrenched

Funny how women project coldness onto men, and men project goodness onto women.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"The point is never be exclusive very early. Force her to earn it."

Funny, a lot of my recent relationships--including the 19-year old I've been banging--have begun with the girl asking for commitment from me, right off the bat, and then banging the same night.

Unknown said...

I'd reevaluate my life if whores were asking me for commitment.

SarahsDaughter said...

True, SD but when you get married, you shouldnt be paying much attention to other people.

I agree. When I say married, I'm speaking of marriage as spoke of in the Bible, which is designed to hedge the ebb and flow of high attraction and is very clear with whom a woman should spend her time or attention.

Funny how women project coldness onto men, and men project goodness onto women.

No doubt, men are the more romantic sex. It is that very projection that ends up being so much trouble in a relationship. It all seems counterintuitive.

Valentine's day is right around the corner and the advertisements have begun doling out the worst advice for men to follow.

MATT said...

Romance is for losers. Pump n dump and conquer a village.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

The girls in the office are starting to go nuts with excitement over V-day. It's kind of cute to watch, until you imagine the poor chumps expected to get flowers, candy, dinner, and shit.

deti said...

“If she wants to be with someone else, you don't want her.”

If she wants to be with someone else, let her be with someone else.

Anonymous said...

I loath branch swingers. They are so damn non-confrontational. You don't even know the relationship is in trouble, until it has ended. Why? Because they will fake it and pretend everything is terrific.

Although there are a few tells to look for. The biggest is the sudden, big, out of blue, bank busting, romantic gesture on her part.


@Cataline Sergius
I know a 21 y.o. hottie who does that with her boyfriend; she repeatedly fights and breaks up with him and then gets back together by buying him some expensive gift. She also fairly recently busted the bank to get him a birthday present. I don't really know the boyfriend, but my guess is he's a low Beta/high Delta; definitely not a pushover, and attractive enough to keep her, but not high enough to prevent her attention-whoring and sh!t-testing him.

In addition, I have had experience with women who buy me stuff in an transparent attempt to guilt-trip me into a relationship.

I'd reevaluate my life if whores were asking me for commitment.

@Earl Thomas
That's what they do to low-value men. It's just that they try to hide the fact they're whores.

Unknown said...

'Romance is for losers. Pump n dump and conquer a village.'

Emotional based love without any merit is a delusion and fallacy many people have swallowed.

Although the flip side if you're pumping n dumping...you aren't going to be conquering any villages.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

You'll be founding villages, more likely.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"I'd reevaluate my life if whores were asking me for commitment"

The gamma bitterness drips off this comment.

MATT said...

I meant..use your time to pursue manly interests. Like conquering villages.

These sluts are just playthings.

Anonymous said...

Trust your instincts.
http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/28/gut-check/

Gut Check

Whenever you feel something isn’t quite right in your gut, what this is is your subconscious awareness alerting you to inconsistencies going on around you. We tend to ignore these signs in the thinking that our rational mind ‘knows better’ and things really aren’t what they seem. It’s not as bad as you’re imagining, and you can even feel shame or guilt with yourself for acknowledging that lack of trust. However, it’s just this internal rationalization that keeps us blind to the obvious that our subconscious is trying to warn us about. Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. So when that predictable behavior changes even marginally, our instinctual perceptions fire off all kinds of warnings. Some of which can actually effect us physically.

It’s at this point most guys make the mistake of acting on the “good communication solves everything” feminized meme and go the full disclosure truth route, which only really leads to more rationalizations and repression of what’s really going on. What they don’t realize is that the MEDIUM is the message; her behavior, her nuances, the incongruencies in her words and demeanor (and how your gut perceives them) is the real message. There is an irregularity in her behavior that your subconscious is alerting you to which your consciousness either cannot or will not recognize.

With so many varied stimuli in our environment, human beings had to evolve psychological mechanisms in order to cope with so much information. We simply cannot apply our focus and concentration on every stimulus bombarding us so we employ a peripheral, subconscious awareness of it until it warrants our attention. A lot has been written about human’s ability to multi-task, but it would be impossible to multi-task without this peripheral awareness.

What the ‘trust issues’ feminine social convention does is turn that peripheral awareness into a liability in order to promote the agenda of hypergamy. Trust your gut, but don’t trust it where a woman is involved. This is a very devious social convention in that it attempts to short-circuit millennia of evolved instinctual cues that confirm men’s interests in parental investment while promoting female hypergamy as the primary breeding strategy.

RT

Unknown said...

"Romance is for losers. Pump n dump and conquer a village."

"What does it profit a man if he gains the world and loses his True Self?" Guess where that's from.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

'Bang' by Roosh?

MATT said...

What does it profit a man if he sees a video on xhamster of his wife getting drilled by 2 black guys?

Anonymous said...

I was not involved in a lot of exclusive relationships; I tended to avoid "the talk" like the plague. But exclusive or not, I ended them the moment I had any sense that the woman was even flirting with other men after having expressed some form of claim on me.

What if she flirts with other girls in front of you?

Feather Blade said...

No surprise—but I was quite upset that a few other girls I was “friends” with had known and never told me

Now, how would that conversation go...

Girl: Your girlfriend went out with Other Dude last week.
Gamma: She would never!
Girl: I saw her!
Gamma: You're jealous. You need to find your own boyfriend and stop trying to break us up.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Most guys in the military have a low opinion of women, once they are in for a couple years. We get to see them at their worst. By the time you are almost done with your first enlistment you generally know. There are too many exceptions though.

mmaier2112 said...

And it sure doesn't seem as though the military makes guys more alpha, at least in regards to women. There seem to be a lot of wimps and whipped dudes serving.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Mike you're right about that. Combat arms is better than support units though.

YJLAW said...

Sounds like she was a waif type borderline and she got triggered. You should read up a little bit on BPD and see if she fits the type. What about you that you attract these women? Stable, rescuer type? Some codependency need, some urge to fix? Need more information about the relationship, how it started, etc, not just the ending.

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