As a recovered gamma and now delta who is now happily married with a good wife and a family I thought I’d offer my sure fire way to stop being a Gamma and move into greener pastures. Why Gamma and not another class? First I’m qualified, and second I have a suspicion the number one reader of Game blogs and sites are Gammas looking to escape. So here it is:This should be helpful, because the ability of the non-Gamma to explain to the Gamma male why he is wrong and how his thinking can be adjusted is often limited. It's easy for the non-Gamma to see that the Gamma is wrong, but more difficult to communicate that wrongness to him in a manner that he is capable of hearing and accepting.
Brutal self-honesty.
I’m going to break this down into four posts which cover the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of life. Everyone wants the keys to success and in America we are damned near obsessive about finding techniques we can use for self-improvement. In reality escaping Gammahood is a moral issue as it deals with honesty, but how this plays out in the four aspects of one life will be explained.
The fact that most Gammas are willfully delusional and lie first and foremost to themselves only makes the challenge more difficult. But one who has recovered from the mindset might be better able to make headway in penetrating through their psychological defenses.
37 comments:
Looking forward to those four posts. Blogger ate my previous comment. Very annoying. Note to everyone: sign in BEFORE you type up your comment; when you sign in Blogger will eat your comment and you'll have to start from scratch.
Anyhow, round two:
A) It is easy to debunk one lie; much more work to untangle layers of interconnected and self-reinforcing lies and delusions. And there are all too many people that feed Gamma delusions, keeping them swimming downward, away from the air their lungs need.
Which brings us to B) Trust barrier. With society reinforcing Gamma delusions, and many conflicting information sources, why will the Gamma tune all others out and listen to you?
And finally C) Most people that have a good heart and actually want to help the Gamma, might "see" how the Gamma is wrong, but they just intuitively "know" the wrongness on a gut level. Verbalizing layers and layers of fucked-up-ness is a lot of mental effort. So yes, communicating to a Gamma can be a lot of effort. Few have the patience.
D) Even a Gamma can have success with women if he goes mudsharking. Matt Forney and other writers on Return of Kings have described how easy it is to get Filipinas and Indian women. And they are 100% right. Even for Gammas. They haven't even begun dredging the African continent. When a Gamma can swim in dusky-colored pussy with very little effort, it might take him a while to realize something is wrong. He isn't in his own end of the gene pool. Nor will his descendants be.
I advise with Gammas, first find out if they recognize they have a problem. That they want to change. Then, and only then, can you work with them.
Second, they are so invested in their self image, the literally cannot see themselves as others see them. But when a Gamma wants to change, he is able to hear about himself from someone else. And it will sound so alien, he will talk back, trying to explain "what is actually going on". That is, the Gamma is trying to get to the root source of the delusion. Don't give up on him at this point. If the Gamma can't see the "root", then your accurate descriptions and analyses won't hit home. The Gamma doesn't want to make the same mistake again, and self-introspection is painfully hard. Retaining and consolidating gains in the delusion-busting is the name of the Game here. It is a process.
Telling him to "lift weights/eat Paleo/take the Red Pill/lose the video games" is a manner of communication that the Gamma might find difficult hearing and accepting.
Anyone else want to take a stab at it?
The big problem for the Red Pill, has always been that you are shifting a paradigm without a clutch.
A Gamma male is likely to go through the stages of grief, when forced to accept it and I'm not joking. Their world, such as it is, falls entirely apart.
Metaphor time: There is no point in trying to pop an under inflated balloon with a hammer. The air inside the balloon parts around it and it resumes it shape the instant the hammer is removed. Forget the hammer, what you need is a pin.
And your objective isn't to pop the balloon, it is to deflate it by putting a number of small holes in it.
Honestly, it's easier to get through to an Omega, they aren't invested in their paradigm at all.
Somewhat on topic: I've recently discovered a younger colleague is aware of 'The Rational Male' book [hasn't read it yet] and the Manosphere in general, and has complained to me about the OC dating scene. I plan to proceed carefully in facilitating his total conversion. Any book suggestions I could offer him...? I'm thinking 'The Way of Men'.
@Laguna Beach Fogey
I don't have any book suggestions, but have read The way of Men and it is an easy and quick read, thus good for an "introduction".
Haven't read The Rational Male, but i believe it is basically all of Rollo's blog posts up to a certain date. I have however read every single one of his posts up the date of publication of his book and if it is indeed based on his posts his book is a definite must read, it would be more detailed.
@LGF
He should start with the Greatest of the
Great
Boooksszzs
For
Menzzzz
Looklossszszlololollllosz
In my experience from both sides of this scene, it's pretty much impossible to reach someone until he's hit bottom and is asking for help. That's true whether it's a guy chasing a girl who doesn't want him, a person who claims to want to lose weight but still eats pasta and chips, a girl who knows the drunkard boyfriend who punches her regularly is really a sweetie deep down, etc. As Cataline said, they have to go through something very like the stages of grief, until they learn to accept the loss of whatever it was they were holding onto, and then they can move ahead.
Until he comes to you and asks for help, all you're going to get by approaching him is rationalizations in her defense or in defense of his own gamma behavior. If it makes you feel better to speak your piece so he can't accuse you of not telling him the facts later on, go ahead; but don't expect him to listen until he's ready, and don't expect him to thank you.
That's my cynical take, anyway. Maybe others have had better luck than I.
Cail - That's my cynical take, anyway.
That's not cynical, it's realistic, sensible, and the only workable strategy when dealing with another's delusional behavior. Get out of the way so the bottom can be hit sooner.
LBF,
What message are you looking to communicate?
This will prove helpful for understanding gamma better.
I was marinating on sending a few gamma emails pre and post fall-out that took place a few weeks/over Christmas. The gamma saga continued on and on. So far its been 10 days of no contact. Anyways, I'll remove the names and send them to Vox with the subject, 'Gamma saga'
It isn't happy or even malleable kinda content, its all grief. I tried to send him to PUA's and Game blogs, he would not go. I tried my best, not sure what a woman could do for him anyhow. I even showed him the magic girl tree, shake it and girls fall out.
Paleo, cutting out the processed foods, is the quickest way to demonstrate tangible results that destroys what a person thought they knew. I must have given out two dozen marked-up copies of "500 Low-Carb Recipes" by Dana Carpender to people that have complained about low energy or wanting to lose weight. I figure half of them end up in the trash, but 7-8 people used it and thank me. One husband-wife combo lost over 50lbs between the two of them.
LP,
Let me guess, you were told you've been brain washed by evil men?
I occasionally link to this blog and Chateau on my FB page, I envision most of the men who click through do so in the dark of night when no one is watching. There are a handful brave enough to "like" an article here or there, most of the time, though, I'm told in private that they read everything I post and love it - they can't say anything online out of fear. But still even some of the self admitted anti-feminists can not bring themselves to go down a road that might lead to what they perceive as disapproval from the female herd. There's no way to get it through their head, if you offend a woman, it excites them a hell of a lot more than playing femtard friendly with them.
As calicorishev pointed out, "rock bottom" usually has to hit the man before he wakes up. Otherwise, he'll just shrug it off and keep trying.
Cataline: Honestly, it's easier to get through to an Omega, they aren't invested in their paradigm at all.
I don't understand Gammas and never really will, but I'll try to lay out the similarities and differences between Omega and Gamma.
Both Omega and Gamma get oneitis. As low-value men, they have a definite scarcity mentality. However, Gammas appear to be brainwashed in a way that Omegas are not.
Omegas are sociopaths and don't care about being part of a society. Gammas desperately want to be part of a society, but instead of humbly learning from their betters, they decide to upend, or explode, society and put themselves on top. As a matter of fact, I suspect a bitter Omega, as opposed to an indifferent one, is simply a very low Gamma that has snapped and given up, like Frankenstein's Monster or Elliott Rodger.
As for the indifferent Omegas -- those who cannot be considered very low Gammas because they don't give a hoot about being part of a society or having a friendship network -- they either don't care about getting women, or, if they do want women, they will end up maturing into (sociopathic) Deltas given the proper guidance.
I could be wrong, but Gammas seem to be less likely to learn from their mistakes and turn into Deltas. They, desperately wanting to be part of society, also listen unquestioningly to society's PC boilerplate, which includes advice from women. Omegas may be more willing to listen to unconventional advice because society doesn't really make sense to them and they prefer to trust their own reasoning.
@MycroftJones
Yeah, I do notice a heckuva lot of Gammas on Return of Kings. The MGTOW type has been discussed here before. The "foreign women only" Gammas still desperately want to be part of a society; they've simply transferred their loyalty to Philippine or Thai or Latin American or foreign-in-general society.
But one thing that makes things easier for them is the "lost in translation" factor: the very fact that these women are of a different race and culture makes it harder for them to notice the men's Gamma behavior -- until they've been married for a little bit. But the foreign-only Gamma doesn't see this; instead, as I've noticed repeatedly, if the relationship or marriage heads south, he'll blame "contamination from Western society" rather than his own behavior.
All I know is I'm not there yet, but damn - Cataline and cailcorishev are right. It's like grief. A palpable anger at the realization that how you looked at yourself, how everyone around you you trusted TOLD you the world was supposed to work, was a lie.
And because the lie we've been fed sounds so nice, so reasonable, and everybody keeps telling it to you - in large part because they believe it themselves - it's very difficult to be shocked enough to go "wait, that can't be right."
In my case - I was exposed to a few facts early on that didn't fit the dominant left narrative in the news, and some real history. That, combined with a devotion to integrity, knowledge as much as "keeping my word", and a very low point in my life, were what made me turn around.
And it's still a work in progress..
@Cail
When you are rescuing a Gamma, catching them at the Red Pill moment is everything. The good thing is those moments are not all that hard to spot. Remember the Last American Virgin? Best Red Pill Moment in movie history.
@Corvinus
When it comes to Omega males, honestly a lot depends on the raw material. Why was the Omega an outcast in the first place?
I admit the journey for myself was a very difficult one but it was worth the trip. And somewhere along the line (seemingly overnight) hot girls suddenly turned from a source of desperate longing, to a pesky nuisance I could barely keep from under foot.
An indifferent Omega is a Nothing. He will rise in rank using his skills and realizing his potential o ly, professionally and with women.
Vox has said he was a bullied Omega until the bullies realized they werent getting to him, his athleticism shined, and by high school, his looks.
After being invisible, your choices are indifference or suicide.
@Corvinus
I'm interested in that "friendship network" thing you mentioned. Have any more info/resources to share on that front?
I wonder how many of these guys were natural born Alphas or Sigmas, but whose innate awesomeness was supressed by family, school, and society?
How many of these guys finally figured things out by themselves, without assistance from well-meaning strangers and the Manosphere?
@ Laguna Beach Fogey said... I wonder how many of these guys were natural born Alphas or Sigmas, but whose innate awesomeness was supressed by family, school, and society?
________
I'm definitely not an alpha it a natural sigma. I feigned sigma through most my twenties.
My parents, teachers, pastors, and doctors raised me, taught me, counseled me, and medicated me to being a gamma. I couldn't get a date easily, which was an impressive failure for someone which lead the varsity basketball team in both points and rebounds. Probably because I was never shackled athletically, only socially.
In my mid 20s I stopped following the rules. Lo and behold, I was no longer rejected because I no longer asked.... but I was no longer celibate because women initiated.
It was eye opening to me. It is when I overcame gamma. When I stopped caring what women thought, I stopped being invisible to them. Remember, the jerk who leaves without saying goodbye is more appealing than the doofus buying her drinks.
...or the cocky jerk who takes food from her plate of appetizers at the bar without asking and then laughs when she feigns annoyance.
(This actually works--you just can't give a shit).
When it comes to Omega males, honestly a lot depends on the raw material. Why was the Omega an outcast in the first place?
I admit the journey for myself was a very difficult one but it was worth the trip. And somewhere along the line (seemingly overnight) hot girls suddenly turned from a source of desperate longing, to a pesky nuisance I could barely keep from under foot.
@Cataline (and @Sleepy, since I think I'll answer your question here)
Honestly, I suspect that some people are just innate outcasts. It's not even that we hate society; it's just that we don't see the point of being in society. The idea of having close male buddies, for example, is something that I have never, ever felt a need for. Lately, I've been getting drawn into a few friendship networks, or at least close enough to get invited to house parties and that kind of thing, but it's always due to attractive women in the network rather than by men.
And looking at my parents, they both were the same way as far as not needing close friends or the approval of society / peer pressure. I suspect that's one reason they were both traditional Catholics, as I am. They lived through Vatican II, and even though society at large loved it, they thought it was wrong, and since society had no pull on them, they rejected it. Traditional Catholics seem to be an odd mix; as far as I can tell, there are no Alphas or Betas among us to speak of. But there are plenty of Gammas (who are really, really annoying, and probably our biggest cross), plenty of Omegas and low Deltas, and the odd Sigma (Mel Gibson strikes me as possibly being one).
@Laguna Beach Fogey
In my own case, I don't think I would have ever, ever figured things out without the Manosphere, although I always did have the potential. I was an Omega babyface; now a "paper Sigma", i.e., Sigma on the outside, but still have Delta nerves / confidence levels on the inside.
As for Gammas, I have no idea, but when they do find the Manosphere, they seem to gravitate toward being MGTOW / foreign-only types, at least initially.
About six months ago, someone posted a comment I thought quite perceptive.
Omegas fall into two groups. One group are the perpetual basement-dwelllers. No motivation, no capability, not much future.
The other are men who have no luck. A combination of weak game, poor opportunities from living in a dating desert, physical unattractiveness, high expectations...and frequently, demanding careers. These men are successful in many ways - but not in their love life.
Which I thought a very perceptive comment.
While there are definitely omegas with zero capability beyond reading comics and playing video games, i dont believe theyre the norm. Lack of motivation plays a larger role on many.
A intelligent man with no fire in his gut is worth less than a motivated but somewhat dim man. The dim one can at least be steered in the right direction and trained, turning the skills he developed, into habits.
Dealing with the unmotivated is like slamming your head against a wall.
Aww, SarahsDaughter, love you. Well, I sent a few men to Game blogs and it didn't go over as expected. I errored in being gym pals with 2 best bro's, the bro's and I didn't go over either.
I wonder how many of these guys were natural born Alphas or Sigmas, but whose innate awesomeness was supressed by family, school, and society?
Very, very few.
In my own case, I don't think I would have ever, ever figured things out without the Manosphere, although I always did have the potential. I was an Omega babyface; now a "paper Sigma", i.e., Sigma on the outside, but still have Delta nerves / confidence levels on the inside.
That's a Delta. A lot of guys seem to want to think that because they are not social, that makes the Sigmas. No, that makes you anti-social.
I wonder how many of these guys were natural born Alphas or Sigmas, but whose innate awesomeness was supressed by family, school, and society?
About fifteen percent of the male population are natural Alphas or have strong traits.
One bit of PC suppressed data is the Soviet Unions early cultural reforms in the 1920s. Basically they took all of Engels hideous ideas about life and family and put them into practice.
The resulting, completely predictable chaos did leave some interesting data to be mined. About 15% of the men, started getting 60% of the sex. Something close to 40% of the men were left involuntary celibate, basically they checked out of manhood..
If people you meet dont want you to lead them, personally and professionally, you dont pound the pussy, and no one is drawn to you, YOU ARE NOT A SIGMA.
A Sigma is a potential Alpha, with no desire to lead. Alphas have a desperate desire to lead, either because theyre ueed to it and the surden change in reality is troubling, or they never spent time as losers, so dont know how to be alone. But they always want to dominate.
@Vox
Yes, I know, a "paper Sigma" is a type of Delta. I made it up from "paper tiger". I know men here have a tendency to call themselves Sigma, but I'm not intending to be one of them. Sigma is, however, my target.
If people you meet dont want you to lead them, personally and professionally, you dont pound the pussy, and no one is drawn to you, YOU ARE NOT A SIGMA.
Heh, I'm getting a lot more vibes to that effect lately, so my plan to become Sigma must be working. But I still need more time. In this society, Delta is simply not good enough.
@Cataline Sergius
I've seen suggestions that feminism and cultural Marxism were brought over by the Soviets to wreck our societies, and that the Frankfurt School academics were supported by the Soviets. So I suppose testing it on your own society first would make sense.
You're still not getting it. And you appear to be aiming for Sigma as some sort of giant "Fuck You" to all who ignored you. So you're still desperate for their approval. And you want them to want you to lead them. It's pathetic, to be honest. A Sigma wants neither their approval, nor their desire for a leader, socially speaking, especially. He gets women because he can and wants them. He succeeds at what he does because he's capable and puts the work in.
This desperation, along with the unbearable pain that accompanies the realization that one is an Omega, and not Aragorn, I believe is the reason for so many men crying "Ooh Vox Me too! Im Sigma too!"
And they say this while admiring Vox, trying to build sone sort of comeradery. Do these guys really think its common for a dinosaur loving know-it-all geek with a high IQ to be an NCAA athlete cooze hound, rubbing shoulders with famous Marines?? I feel sorry for them. They're forever delusional. And they are desperate to be led and feel a part if something, which is why they latch onto someone like Vox. These men will never be the Sigma they imagine while reading comic books and watching movies.
They're like the fat girls reading 50 Shades and Twilight.
I have no idea what I am and I really don't care. I just do what I do.
@ Conscientia Republicae
We are called human beings.
I hope you were being sarcastic, Earl. The alternative is too terrible to contemplate.
I continue to think most of these alpha/beta/ delta monikers are not overly useful. Alphas are so varied - we call a rock band drummer who bangs lots of girls an alpha. Even if that person inspires no one, does drugs all day, and cannot hold a steady job. The football captain in high school might bang a lot of chicks in HS but be too dumb to survive and peaks in HS and in 10 years is a loser while his boring friends are doctors who have entered the UMC (divorce rate very small and secure stable relationships). The football NFL player that is obviously alpa in most situations becomes a bumbling fool when people are choosing the leader in a different context. My point is that for evn alpha - what should be the clearest designation - is so dependent on the local social sexual status context as to render it nearly meaningless. The other terms thus seem even less useful.
The best designations seem to be to identify alpha, beta, and delta behaviors and to face the reality they can often be learned and taught and all people other than the most extremes are amalgams. Sure there are the Teddy Roosevelt's of the world who are pure alphas and the rare comic book guy who is a pure gamma, but most of us are a combination that is highly situational.
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