Wednesday, November 6, 2013

First-rate women

Few things appear to upset women more than the fact that Alphas prefer beauty to brains, careers, and credentials:
I have a friend who dates only exceptionally attractive women. These women aren’t trophy-wife types—they are comparable to him in age, education level, and professional status. They are just really, notably good looking, standouts even in the kind of urban milieu where regular workouts and healthy eating are commonplace and an abundance of disposable income to spend on facials, waxing, straightening, and coloring keeps the average level of female attractiveness unusually high.

My friend is sensitive and intelligent and, in almost every particular, unlike the stereotypical sexist, T & A-obsessed meathead. For years, I assumed that it was just his good fortune that the women he felt an emotional connection with all happened to be so damn hot. Over time, however, I came to realize that my friend, nice as he is, prizes extreme beauty above all the other desiderata that one might seek in a partner.

I have another friend who broke up with a woman because her body, though fit, was the wrong type for him. While he liked her personality, he felt that he’d never be sufficiently attracted to her, and that it was better to end things sooner rather than later.

Some people would say these men are fatally shallow. Others would say they are realistic about their own needs, and that there is no use beating oneself up about one’s preferences: some things cannot be changed. Those in the first camp would probably say that my friends are outliers—uniquely immature men to be avoided.
There is no need to apologize for what one prefers. All men are attracted to female beauty even if only the top men can expect to reliably obtain it. This doesn't mean that they are dumb enough to value only beauty; the man who marries a woman simply because she is the most beautiful woman he has ever dated is a short-sighted fool.

But there are bars which men will not cross. Limits. Like the man referenced above, I simply wouldn't date a woman who was below a certain level of facial attractiveness and bodily fitness. Anything over a BMI of 20, forget it; pretty much  every girl in whom I harbored any interest from college until I married Spacebunny was between 17.5 and 18.5.

Was that superficial? Not at all. It merely meant that I had high standards. If I was superficial, I would have married an exceptionally beautiful trainwreck. Instead, I chose to marry a sweet, smart, funny girl who is equally good company at a football game or a black-tie gala. Of course, she also happened to meet my standards of female beauty.

A standard is merely the initial hurdle, it isn't the finish line. Expecting that the woman you marry will meet your expectations is no different than your future wife expecting that you will have a job. No woman who turns up her nose at an unemployed homeless man or an ugly gamma male has the right to denigrate your standards, whatever they might be.

Female beauty isn't a problem, it is a gift from God. Appreciate it where you find it and enjoy it while it lasts.


Spacetraveller said...

I think it is a good thing if a man stands up for his standards. It actually helps women to raise themselves to meet those standards, eg. regarding weight. Of course one cannot make oneself more intrinsically beautiful, in much the same way as one cannot make oneself taller. But most other traits can be improved.
The women who are upset that men prefer beauty to brains are not so much ugly, as they are lazy. They don't want to maintain their weight (too hard) or dress tastefully or modestly (too 'puritanical').

So they just sit there and moan that no-one is taking what they are offering.

It's a shame, because some of these women could be real prizes if they just made a little effort!

I don't think I am a 'beauty' as such, but my husband thinks I am 'good enough' which is all that matters. I think my job is to maintain a certain standard even as my body changes through life. And I think this is the mantra of many wives who remain the apple of their husband's eye.
In principle, it is not that hard, I suspect.

AJ Popo said...

A man is allowed no criteria for choosing women according to women (and some deluded men.)

If I ever tell a woman I don't want to date an overweight girl, the retort is always to point out one of my flaws. As if being told I don't make enough money or I lead a boring life will make me fall for a sweaty blubber ball.

VD said...

If I ever tell a woman I don't want to date an overweight girl, the retort is always to point out one of my flaws.

To which you can say: right, that's why I can't data Victoria's Secret model. But I'm still good enough to rate a non-blubberball.

Jehu said...

In practice you rarely have to choose anything over beauty in women. If you can get a woman in the 80th-90th percentile in looks, you can get a woman in that attractiveness range with most of the other qualities you desire. Only in really odd markets, like Alaska, do you actually have to 'pay' a premium for the other things.

Trust said...

I've seem more than a few women turn men down because they are too short, or pass on a man of sound character in favor of weatb or arrogance. Women are so convinced they are morally superior even as they engage in often more of the very behaviors they condemn in men.

The difference is women judge everything by their own feelings... they feel fine about their own biases, but since men's limit their options they suddenly are offended by them.

Anonymous said...

If you can get a woman in the 80th-90th percentile in looks, you can get a woman in that attractiveness range with most of the other qualities you desire.

It has been my experience that the following traits are not generally correlated
a) beauty
b) above average intelligence (also not too smart)
c) submissiveness
d) nurturing
e) practical

All of which are highly valuable in a long term mate. In fact, I can't think of any woman personally known to me that hits 8+ in all 5 categories.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Ah, my 3 fave things for women besides faith; beauty, honor/truth and heart.

Harold Carper said...

Every man needs to be able to articulate what he wants in a woman and to formulate a list of deal killers. That'll save a lot of time and energy in the short run and a lot of trouble in the long run.

Anonymous said...

When I started getting into Game concepts, one of the biggest take-aways was that there was nothing wrong in having preferences, and mininum standards.

Blaximus said...

... You have standards. You don't have " high " standards. Your standards are only meaningful to you, as it should be. Only chumps allow others to ever set their standards in any way.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it interesting that for the laundry list of hypergamous prerequisites that women have for men's acceptability, women would build social conventions into the cultural fabric to shame men for their one criteria for feminine acceptability? This is the depth of control the feminine demands of men – complete abdication to the feminine imperative and complete surrender of sexual selectivity.

Jehu said...

A lot depends on how you scale your 1-10s. On a linear scale of straight percentiles, getting a woman who is 80th+ percentile on all the attributes you cite isn't out of the question. 80th percentile just means better than 4 in 5 after all. My wife would pretty easily come up to that bar, especially if the implicit population of comparison is American women. The point I'm making is that everything after a) doesn't really increase the price you pay for her, you can still attract and marry an 80th-90th percentile attractiveness woman with sterling other attributes with little more difficulty than an 80th-90th percentile woman with much worse collaterals. The exception is places like Alaska or really similarly isolated markets. There you might actually have a small enough number of choices that you have to make trade-offs that you don't have to make in more normal markets.

Anonymous said...

OT, But Jennifer Lawrence made my day a little more dark. I want to punch whatever jealous skank told her it was a good idea before the fact.

pdwalker said...

Also remember that you are selecting her based on what she offers and will pass on to your kids. You want healthy, beautiful, kids? Then don't choose an ugly, stupid, slothful woman.

PVW said...

This is an interesting article: a boom in plastic surgery in Venezuela as women aim to reach the ideal figure. One interesting observation, a key link to mannequin makers who realized they were making no sales, so they began to change the mannequins they produced. In an interesting feedback loop, as the mannequins become more popular and women began to see the images, they became an inspiration to women as they aimed to perfect their appearance:

tz said...

Well women maybe don't ruin everything, and can promote healthy (LCHF) eating

Anonymous said...

In the comments, commenter Chen888 delivers the Catch of the Month re: The effect of feminism on male attitudes and beliefs:

"This writer has a static concept of female beauty. In fact, it is rare in women over 25, So the problem with attractive women is that they wear out their welcome when they continue to toss their hair long after they have lost their looks and their figures. --> As for the feminist conceit that men are immature if they need beautiful partners, only feminized men feel the need to tolerate such nonsense. <--

raywhat caught it. No one else did:

"@Chen888 I wish I could follow you better. I like the idea that only feminized men would be influenced by feminists. Is that what you are saying? Ironic and darkly funny. "

I haven't seen this meme before: "Only feminized men are influenced by feminists". It's a good one, and instinctively true.

Gaxsax said...

Have you noticed that feminists are mostly overweight ugly women rejected by Alpha men?

Rantor said...

@GAXSAX, and with 64% of American women seriously overweight or obese, any woman of a healthy weight is almost automatically a 7 (if not deformed or disfigured). Just trying to stay fit is a winning strategy. The same study indicated 74% of men are overweight or obese so if you are not one of them (and not deformed or disfigured) you are a 7.5! Might as well go for an 8, it can't hurt.

(Yes I realize that percentile rankings on obesity don't purely correlate to beauty, but I bet it is a major component for most)

I fear this trend predicts increasing success for the Democratic party.

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