Friday, November 15, 2013

Alpha Mail: a confident woman

Kimbrena Cravens asks for advice concerning women who don't care what men think about their hair:
How about women cutting their hair because THEY WANT TO? Maybe they LIKE short hair and don't care what a man thinks about it. What about the women that are confident in themselves and don't measure their worth by how attractive men are of her?
In such cases, I suppose a woman may as well shave her head, stop shaving the rest of her body, pierce her face, start eating 10,000 calories a day, and acquire at least three cats. She is irrelevant to the species, being an evolutionary dead end, has nothing to offer the male half of society, and is obviously of zero interest to me or most of the other 3.5 billion men on the planet.

I don't care what "women that are confident in themselves and don't measure their worth by how attractive men are of her" do, say, think, or feel. I pay no attention to them. Neither do the vast majority of men.

I suppose there may be a few sad denizens of Innsmouth that concern themselves with the affairs of shambling short-haired shoggoths, but I'm afraid I am not one of them. Such women may do as they like, with my blessing.


Lucas said...

A very good example of female solipsism?

Survey Reveals the "Ideal Age" for Women to Have Children — and It's Total Nonsense

Anonymous said...

with my blessing.

Ha! Excellent.

~ Stingray

brian said...

We have a word for the kind of woman that doesn't care what men think of her.


Crowhill said...

This whole "don't care what other people think" idea has been rolling around in my head a little with respect to fat women. Especially fat women who think they're sexy and dress like they're sexy. Sometimes you see a fat woman wearing skin-tight pants and you wonder, "what in the heck are you thinking?"

I have a suspicion that it's something like a female manifestation of asperger's. They don't pick up the cues and they genuinely don't realize that they've got it all wrong.

As far as women cutting their hair short, I can certainly see why they're tempted to do it. It's far easier to take care of, and all their girl friends will tell them it's "super cute." It's simply not attractive to men. But it has a compounding effect, because a woman who chooses to do what's easier for her, but not attractive to men, is a woman with an attitude that is also unattractive. So it's a double demerit.

WendyRaf said...

One could equate not caring what men think to giving up.


Yeah, her overwhelming argument amounts to "because I said so, the opinion of everyone else be darned".

Anonymous said...

Let's say 10% of men prefer short hair, or at least are neutral on the subject. (I suspect it's much lower, but for the sake of argument...) Then by cutting her hair, she's hurting herself with 90% of the male population.

Is how she feels about her hair really that important to her, that she would cut her chance of finding a good man by 9/10? Really, a haircut is that important?

Now, as you say, if she's not interested in men, then it doesn't matter what she does. But most women are interested in men, and want to be married someday if not right away. Encouraging them to do something which will send 90% of the male eyes at the party flickering past them to land on their long-haired friends is just bad business. If I knew that 90% of women preferred long beards, I'd throw away my razor today and damn the itch. You just don't cut your odds like that on something that's important to you.

Of course, if she can get enough other women to cut their hair (or accept their weight gain, or disfigure themselves in various other ways), she can have a man and keep her short hair, giving her more power in the relationship because she didn't have to concede anything.

WendyRaf said...


Short hair isn't easier to take care of. It's a cop out.

Anonymous said...

When I see the above, a head strong women, my gut feeling is that they fail at one of the first commandments given to women...

Gen 3:16
To the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your grief and your suffering in pregnancy and the pangs of childbearing; with spasms of distress you will bring forth children. Yet your desire and craving will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. AMP

Why should men be interested in a women that they have to continue to "fight" to keep in line. There is enough challenges outside of the home, for them to be continuously addressing them with their wife. I have been a leader all my adult life and it is a rarity that I have to address "direction" at home and I call that a favorable trait with my. wife/children. Yes, my family is confident in themselves, but not rebellious.


Natalie said...

Also - her life is pretty shallow if she's getting her worth from how other men respond to her physical appearance. I try to dress nicely, exercise, and be generally attractive (which isn't so easy with a very snuggly 6 week old), but I do these things because I already have worth and not because I'm desperately trying to earn it. It's called self-respect. If I want to find worth in something I'll cook dinner or cuddle my baby or play games with my husband or anything of that nature. I wax my eyebrows because I'm conceited enough to think how I look matters just a little - as a reflection on my husband and my community if nothing else.

rycamor said...

If Kimbrena doesn't care, and she's oh-so-confident, then why exactly does she feel the need to explain this to Vox?

SarahsDaughter said...

Confident woman who doesn't care what a man thinks fails to understand irony.

In other news it appears water is, indeed, wet.

Revelation Means Hope said...

She sure seems to care a lot that everyone be aware of how much she doesn't care.

Anonymous said...

Specifically with respect to the short hair issue of late many Hollywood actresses have jumped on that band wagon. I've heard two different newly shorn women at my office cite the actions of Jennifer Anniston, Charlise Theron etc. as justification for their fashion mistake. As long as they get positive reinforcement for their bad decisions they will continue to make them.

SarahsDaughter said...

Though Ms. Cravens certainly doesn't care about this either, her passive aggressiveness is yet another turn off for most men.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the top 0.001% hottest women, who get paid millions for their looks, still manage to look good with short hair (and the help of professional hairdressers and makeup artists), so other women should follow their lead by all means.

GB said...

This comment isn't about men not liking short hair (though we don't) nor is it about women not caring what men think (though they do.)

This is yet another common example of female chastisement of male judgement. What she's really saying is, "How DARE you question the master! Ten lashes and a week in the box for you!"

Anonymous said...

What if I WANT TO grow a fu manchu moustache. One where the ends hang several inches below my chin, and is long enough to braid?

Why shouldn't I be able to wear my hair like this if I WANT TO?

Of course, no woman today would WANT TO touch me with a ten foot pole if I did that. There's always a price to be paid for doing what you WANT TO instead of what you SHOULD DO, but if you're willing to pay the price then you can live your life however you WANT TO.

Anonymous said...

She is irrelevant to the species, being an evolutionary dead end

That's an exaggeration. The majority of short-haired women will have kids somehow, usually with some gamma who can't do any better. Even some lesbians make withdrawals from the sperm bank.

John Williams said...

8to12, Some women out there like some hair on men. Just be well groomed.

Anonymous said...

with short hair, there comes several varieties.

the girl who got tricked into it via competitive spite
the girl who gave up (fat, feminist, forty)
the hot slut who is trying to
a. re-virginize herself (ie: pre-wall cash out) seen often in churches.
b. uses it to disqualify herself because she has no self control and for her attention =STD

Amy said...

In the late 90s I cut my hair short. It was considered stylish, empowering, and sexy. I was dating a guy who said he loved short hair on women. But in my dreams, I would brush my short hair and magically it would grow and grow. When I woke, I was always so disappointed to see short hair on my head. I grew it out, but always between chin and shoulder lengths.

I had an unfortunate incident with a campfire a few years ago and cut my hair above chin-length to make it look kind of normal. I wear a bun or French braids or a top knot to conceal the uneven growth as it grows out. I'm almost at my shoulders again. I'll never take shears to my hair again. I have taken to massaging coconut oil into the ends to keep them smooth, and only washing once every 7-10 days to keep my hair healthy and strong.

I'll second or third the notion that short hair is (not) easier to maintain. If you don't particularly care what others think, then short or long, your hair matters not. If you DO care, then short hair means you have to wash it daily and blow it down into place and use a gel or wax to keep it looking tame. If you care to grow it out, then you have to wash and gel or wax it and use pins to keep it in place while it does its "thing" because hair grows at different rates, plus a shag or pixie will necessarily mean that you've cut different sections of your hair to different lengths and now you must consider that some of those sections of your hair will grow faster than others. FACT. I've been there.

Now that my hair is of a length to put it up in a bun or in French braids down the sides of my head, I find it easier to manage. I'm not accustomed to using a hair dryer or curlers or a curling iron lately, because I just don't have the time, but I'm sure I could use them to elaborate on my standard daily "do" of a French knot or bun. Either way, I would not ever cut my hair short again.

Haus frau said...

with short hair, there comes several varieties.

the girl who got tricked into it via competitive spite
the girl who gave up (fat, feminist, forty)
the hot slut who is trying to
a. re-virginize herself (ie: pre-wall cash out) seen often in churches.
b. uses it to disqualify herself because she has no self control and for her attention =STD

I would take issue with this in that there is a school of thought that women who are getting older (I mean into their 30's) are supposed to cut their hair because it's the more mature look. Sort of like graduating highschool and putting away the tights and taking out the extra piercings for the job interview. My mother has stopped pressuring me about it cutting my hair, but that is her reasoning.

mina smith said...

my hair is like the worst of prairie plants: the more I try to kill it the longer, thicker and wavier it grows.

my hair has been long since I was 7 years old. every now and then I cut it kind of short like a bob - mostly to clear out the old and bring in the new because it will be down below my butt again in no time.

the past year and a half, it's been auburn. high maintenance I have never had to do before but keeping up with the color is so worth it.

Bobby Dupea said...

Miss Cravens, like Lena Dunham, will have you praise her hair and desire her (if she first desires you, of course). Also, free birth control.

Life is very complicated and hard, if wearing one's hair to appear more attractive to potential mates is risible and an affront. Members of our fairer sex now have discovered that they are entitled to sex appeal.

WendyRaf said...

OT, though perhaps not too much so.

When one stops caring...

Jill said...


Unknown said...

I find the question posed a strange one.

It isn't like the original articles on long long hair said, "Women you must not cut your hair! You will anger the follicle god's if you do so and reign fire and destruction down upon your household!! DOOOOMMM!!!!"

The original posts just said, "Ladies if you cut your hair short you will make yourself less attractive to men. If you don't want to make yourself less attractive to men then don't cut your hair short".

The strangely hysterical responses are amusing but puzzling.

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Obvious shit test is obvious shit test

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