Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The skills that men lack

Sorry, gentlemen, but in the surveyed opinion of women, it would appear they just don't need us for the important things anymore:

1.Buying clothes for partner 52 per cent
2. Remembering anniversary 41 per cent
3. Dancing 33 per cent
4. Ironing 31 per cent
5. Cooking 30 per cent
6. Domestic chores 30 per cent
7. Buying gifts 28 per cent
8. Multi-tasking 22 per cent
9. Keeping up with fashion 22 per cent
10. Picking furniture 21 per cent
  1. Feature, not bug.  It means he's not latently homosexual.
  2. Perhaps he's simply trying to forget.
  3. The fact that all women think they can dance doesn't mean they can actually do so.  As it happens, with one exception, all the best dancers I know are men.
  4. Fair enough.
  5. Fair enough.
  6. Being uninterested in doing them to the woman's standard does not indicate inability.
  7. I would be willing to bet that men are much better at buying gifts for women than the other way around.  Raise your hand if a romantic interest ever spent more than $5,000 on you... I see a lot of hands, but not many belong to men.
  8. True... but again, feature not bug.  It's called "ability to focus".
  9. Seriously?  In the immortal words of Derrick Coleman, whoop-de-damn-do.
  10. Again, the disinclination to select furniture that women like does not indicate inability.
Now, consider how many of these vital skills are necessary for building or even maintaining civilization in light of how  the article was reporting on "a survey finds women really don't rate men as much use at all."

But, upon further reflection, it's probably true.  Without men, women would probably find it very nearly as easy to keep up on fashion and pick out furniture for their grass huts as they do now.


Anonymous said...

I would argue #5 & 6 is important for civilization. Number 5 seems obvious, but then all most the best chefs that the women imitate in their domestic life are men. And #6 is required for higher levels of sanitation which lead to healthier lives.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

as far as fashion goes, how many of the world's top fashion designers are men?

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

and the chefs, and ballroom dancers, how many of the judges on Dancing with the Stars are men?

Unknown said...

> as far as fashion goes, how many of the world's top fashion designers are men?

Straight men? Close to zero.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

What about lingerie designers? My dad interviewed Oscar De La Renta in the 60's I think, and he told my dad that the lingerie designers loved women and made beautiful things for them to wear. The other designers were fags.

ThirdMonkey said...

1. My wife has a prolific collection of lace thongs and scarves.
2. Every day with me is better than the day before. Why remember the worst day in 15 years?
3. My wife went from a good dancer to a great dancer. Because of me.
4. I've kept up with the ironing while she has recovered from childbirth on three separate occasions.
5. I make better biscuits her, and hers are damn good.
6. The lawn is mowed, and so is her mother's. The rest are what kids are for.
7. See #1.
8. I'm a guy, so I actually have the ability to focus on a task to completion.
9. A black felt cowboy hat or fedora, starched white shirt, starched and creased jeans or slacks, and polished boots are timeless. If you can't imagine Paul Newman or Steve McQueen wearing it, don't wear it.
10. Leather. Easy to clean, wears well.

WendyRaf said...

And #6 is required for higher levels of sanitation which lead to healthier lives.

Not necessarily. There is a basic level of cleanliness necessary, but beyond that the benefits diminish and can it become a detriment. (Like killing all the neutral bacteria which allows colonization of more virulent bacteria.) Soap scum may be annoying, but it won't kill.

Heh, I'm the one who forgot our anniversary one year, but then, we don't make a big deal out of it.

Anonymous said...

The most privileged class the world has ever known, western white women, have it so tough.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

The lesson here is to never trust women to tell men what they need to do or know in order to be attractive to them.

Of course, if you are a regular reader of this blog or other Game blogs, it's pretty obvious.

Anonymous said...

The cooking one brings to mind Paul Fussell's exceptional observation about middle class women and cooking. Since I don't have Class nearby, I'll summarize:

Fussell observed that each middle class woman viewed herself as an exceptionally good chef, and laughed at others who she thought were invariably not good at it. Thus, the practice of the dinner party was just a way for each woman, in her own mind, to prove that she was the best cook, when they all produced horrible slop with an extra dose of pretense.

To this end, the middle class woman, believing herself the great cook, would eventually develop a "specialty" (or "spec-i-al-i-ty"), that she would then inflict on her family at every opportunity, demanding them cluck the same line every time - how great is this spaghetti, and you put a little lemon in the spaghetti sauce! You truly are the greatest cook in the world!

Mike Judge was definitely a Fussell fan, and the above list could have been written by and for his middle-age, middle-class house grouse, Peggy Hill. Peggy even had her "Spa-Peggy-and-Meatballs", which was just spaghetti with a little sugar and a little lemon in the tomato sauce.

That list is an endictment of the childishness of western women. If that's their big list of beefs, they need to STFU and accept that they have built the civilization they desired that caters to their every whim -- but embracing victimhood rots the brain.

Anonymous said...

Dang, Vox has such an uncanny way of dishing out truth. It is most unfortunate it does not yet have the power to render me speechless.

"The fact that all women think they can dance doesn't mean they can actually do so. As it happens, with one exception, all the best dancers I know are men."

The truth has been hidden in the tango all along. There are a few rules, but tango done well is instinctual, the next steps unknown to either partner. The man leads, the woman follows. He may have some idea where they are traveling on the floor, and where he might like to go, but he has to adjust for her. What might appear rehearsed to an audience, is not, and it feels downright magical on the dance floor.

(Not Dancing with the Stars Tango, I refer to the authentic Argentine Tango.)

Do I need to mention that I cannot dance worth a crap? No, no I do not, but there has been a metaphorical lesson hidden in the Tango all along, and I never really got it.

Anonymous said...

Is it still an unforgivable sin against the modern independent woman if you forget (or ignore) the anniversary if, on principle, you refuse to celebrate birthdays and don't exchange gifts at Christmas?

Stickwick Stapers said...

Do women actually care about these things or is this just another opportunity to bash men? Granted, #2 is nice, but the lack of this "skill" is far more a reflection of a woman's skill as a wife than anything else.

#1: On what planet does a man pick out clothes for his wife, unless it's lingerie? Even in old movies where a man surprises his wife/GF with an expensive gown or fur coat, she'd either already made it obvious which one she wanted or he had a fashion expert choose it for him. And #9 is my job. My husband trusts me to buy most of his clothes, because I know his taste and what looks good on him. The only clothing he buys for himself are suits and sporting stuff.

Vox, it would be both fun and educational if you polled your male readers and compiled a top 10 list of skills women lack.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...


I feel approximately like that about belt fed weapons, and shed a tear because my FAL can't achieve 1 MOA.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

My wife would love to be able to buy me gun stuff, but she has no idea how to tell what I need or want.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's dumb. I wouldn't think most women would want a man buying their clothes. Jewelry and accessories, maybe, but actual clothes? And deprive them of the shopping experience? Surely not.

It's funny that #2 isn't an action at all like the others, but something that only has significance because people say it does, mostly so guys can be beaten up for failing at it.

#5: I'm a better cook than any woman I know. Not only can I produce better dishes, but I can do it with a minimum of fuss and clutter. I've known some women who could put together a great meal, but they didn't do it often enough to get practiced at it, so it always had to be a big event with complicated recipes and fancy ingredients and a kitchen full of dirty dishes the next day. Real cooking is coming home and realizing that you forgot to thaw anything, and getting a satisfying meal on the table in a half-hour anyway.

#6: I'm perfectly good at domestic chores -- they're hardly rocket science, after all -- I just have a thousand other things I'd rather be doing so they get neglected. If men enjoyed doing domestic chores we never would have gotten civilization.

#3: Dancing is really the only thing on the list I'd like to be good at. Everyone in my grandparents' generation can get out there and do a few basic dances at a wedding reception or whatever, and I've always thought it a shame that the next generation tossed out that tradition, so all mine can do is sway back and forth.

Ephrem Antony Gray said...

Yeah, this is just another 'the beating will continue until morale improves.'

In 'Kung Pow', the bad guy teaches his chief henchman to fight WRONG, for his sick amusement.

That's what this is.

Doom said...

Well, they DID start it. Not like they did well, but I have to guess this was inspired, developed, and created by and for women. They fist fight about as well in real terms.

Your answers fit my reality. And I side with the facts on the ground. So... cha~ching... your response is the money.

As to fashion though? The faster you get over that the sooner you grow the fuck up. Which is part of why I think of most women as children. Hell, if I bother with fashion it isn't to join it, it is to make it. I'm a leader, not a herd animal, if forced to look for something unique.

CostelloM said...

I wonder how many women it would take to clean this up...


Yes i had no idea Rosie O'Donnell was visiting London either.

As it mostly consisted of baby wipes and cooking oil this would be womens contribution to the sewer systems of London which of course they expect men to clean up because ... icky poo... that's a mans job. If the glorious wymens decided to get rid of us awful, brutish men I wonder how long before fatbergs like this clog the sewers and cause cholera and other sickness as the toilets flood into the houses the women didn't build and can't maintain.

mina smith said...

I have forgotten our anniversary numerous times as well as schedule things like riding lessons on Valentine's Day.

I don't shop, don't cook. My husband loves doing both and does them very well but I do my part and clean the kitchen and do the dishes.

I still wear clothes from high school / college (a source of never-ending ridicule around my household) and newer clothes were generally purchased online for whatever special occasions (reminds me, I need to order a new bathing suit!) I break out in hives when I go into any type of store (except tack shops of course.)

Neither of us wear anything that requires ironing. Keeping up with fashion? He is significantly more fashionable than I since he goes to an office every day and visits with clients. My "fashion" is mostly workout clothes and riding breeches although I do try to have a dress on hand for the occasional dinner out. He likes to purchase those, too!

My husband hasn't purchased a gift for me in I don't know how long but this year from me he has received an AR15 w a holographic sight and tripod, a new golf bag (outfitted with top-end accessories) and I even had his grips replaced for him as part of that gift. For Christmas I usually get one small pink bag from Victoria's Secret filled with odds and ends.

Somewhere along the line I must have missed the memo that this list comprised the sum total of everything a good wife should do and expect her husband to 'share the burden'.

Dexter said...

"1.Buying clothes for partner 52 per cent" -- if you want it to your exact style, size, and taste, better tell me exactly what your want. That's what Amazon wish lists are for.

This is pretty much the female version of me complaining that women are no good at buying me books.

"6.Being uninterested in doing them to the woman's standard does not indicate inability." -- applies to 4 and 5 as well.

Eowyn said...

The only kind of clothing my husband has bought me has been of the flimsy, intimate kind. Anything other than that would be an exercise in futility. It sounds like the women polled want a personal assistant, not a man.

Anonymous said...

Women seem to forget that prior to getting married, men did not starve to death or wear wrinkled clothing. And when women were single, they weren't cooking grand meals for themselves every night.

Anonymous said...

1. I have, with very few exceptions never been able to purchase clothing for the wife. Too complicated - colors, size, fit, tapering...
2. Remembering anniversary - guilty (i will say that our anniversary is during the late walleye season, so I have a legitimate excuse)
3. Dancing - guilty. Not gonna happen, unless I'm dancing with my daughters at a wedding reception (I do agree to a couple of slow dances however with the wifey)
4. Ironing - i have taken this over completely - the wife is hopeless (or at least she pretends to be)
5. Cooking - I cook on weekends - push.
6. Domestic chores - why would you want the hubby to be skilled here?
7. Buying gifts - not guilty. I listen and pick out extraordinary gifts.
8. Multi-tasking. Silly and subjective category. Depends on the situation. i can simultaneously hunt, prepare a sermon, text, and chew at the same time.
9. Fashion - guilty. I still tuck my t-shirts into my jeans, have a chain wallet and wear black boots.
10. Picking furniture - guilty I guess. i always thought the primary purpose for furniture was to be comfortable in.

SociallyExtinct said...

Multi-tasking is not a strong trait to be witnessed in either gender, but for whatever reason, it has become a popular cultural myth that women are good at it, men are not.

It's purely a myth. Most women I know are consistently the worst multi-taskers I know. Still, this does not stop them from trotting out the tired trope that is #8.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

Multi-tasking is not a strong trait to be witnessed in either gender, but for whatever reason, it has become a popular cultural myth that women are good at it, men are not.

It's purely a myth. Most women I know are consistently the worst multi-taskers I know. Still, this does not stop them from trotting out the tired trope that is #8.

And let's be honest, even if it were true, it'd be a weakness, not a strength. If you cannot multi-task, then you are really good at getting stuff done. If you have a list of chores to do at home, for instance, you get one done at a time, not five done at once.

If I was multi-tasking at work, I'd be out of job because I'd have nothing done at their assigned due dates.

Haus frau said...

This list could be summed up under "if you want it done right do it yourself." A man who could comfortably and competently do all these things to my taste would be too effeminate to light my fire.

Anonymous said...

"Multi-tasking...for whatever reason."

I believe the reason for this myth is part of a giant conspiracy by container superstores and the closet organizing industry. You really haven't lived until you've faced and entire planet full of color coded multi tasking household organizers, guaranteed to have you capable of doing 15 things at once.

Bob said...

The multi-tasking thing is just that women TRY to do it, not that they're actually GOOD at it.

They try and do absolutely everything at once, finish nothing, then complain of all the stress and having too much to do.

Heck I always remember years ago my lass turning changing the bedsheets into a multi-step job. Running in the room, doing a pillow, running out, doing something else, running in, doing another pillow, running out, doing something else, running in, putting a pillowcase on, etc...

By before she'd even finished she was laid panting and complaining of how she was all stressed and so on, having a lil tantrum at her tornado of a life she'd created for herself in that moment. The other tasks she was attenting to were NOTHING that she could have "set going" while doing a bit of the bed, they could have perfectly waited till she was finished. Even all the walking back and forth was a waste of time and energy.

Probably made her more irate that while I was watching with an amused look she told me "if I wasn't going to help then just move", so I did, move that is. (I finished a fuckload of other jobs later of course, key-word, finished.)

How women can squawk about doing 20 tasks but finishing none, while men may do half that (the other half likely don't actually need doing), and actually complete ALL of them, I'll never know.

Bob said...

Also amusingly, that list is just a giant shit test, as usual. If men did all those things, what in the f*** would the women do themselves? Sit and "be pretty", like most of them think is all they "deserve" to have to do?

I mean for fuck's sakes, they can't even buy their own clothes? (Can also guarantee whatever the bloke picked would be the wrong size or whatever. That's why we only by things for them to wear for US).

Ephrem Antony Gray said...


I guess we can outsource shopping too, huh?

*rim shot*

Weouro said...

Multi tasking is more about organizing overlapping projects that can't be completed in a linear fashion. I don't know if women are actually better at it, but that is the conventional wisdom. I think it amounts to a mind that is always cycling through the data to adapt as quickly as possible to new situations. It also means less of an ability to shut out the world or shrink the whole universe to a single point that you are focused on destroying or solving or whatever. All sensory data is turned off or tuned to the one object. It's all you can see, everything else is blurry, sound doesn't really register, you don't feel pain. Men are able to do that better than women.

Anonymous said...

I know some women who are good at multitasking, in the sense that she can be doing the dishes while helping a kid sitting at her feet work on his ABCs, and not forget to check the casserole that's cooking in the oven or to call the older kids inside ten minutes early so they'll have time to get cleaned up and set the table before Dad gets home for lunch. A good homemaker needs to be able to keep an eye on several different things, more than she needs great focus on one thing.

Those women are certainly in the minority, though, and I don't know that they're any more common than men who are the same way. Most women I know can barely function if their kids are in the same room, because keeping an eye on them takes their entire concentration. They're usually the ones who say they could never imagine homeschooling, because they don't know how they'd ever get anything else done.

Anonymous said...

Ironing, what ironing? If she does the laundry right, everything is perma-press any way and doesn't need ironed.

Anonymous said...

The top skill that men apparently lack is telling women en masse to shut the hell up.

Anonymous said...

Whether or not women are capable of multi-tasking, the fact is they should not be doing it. It is hard enough to be trying to perceive the world intuitively with multiple layers of consciousness, while trying to process it all with a disorganized brain. If you try to do this while you still have children to care for, somebody is going to completely forget about the existence of the baby, and simply leave it to die in the car while the mind pursues other things.

This is why God waits until women are older before poking them in the brain and sending them into hysterical fits.

It is really, really good when God finally pokes you in the brain. Don't believe the lies the world tries to tell you.

Natalie said...

1. Even better - he's awesome about encouraging me to buy/wear clothes he thinks looks good. So I get to shop, and he gets to veto :)
2. Ok, so I didn't get a card this year (which actually is a bummer because my husband is great at picking out birthday and anniversary cards), but I did get a trip out of town with him eating food and buying baby stuff and basically just just getting lots of one on one time with my man. Guess we'll call this anniversary a draw ;)
3. Psst. Whatever.
4. We have ironing equality in this household.
5. Although I am the better cook. And we're talking everything from scratch. He's great at eggs though.
6. We're both messy creative types. What the good Lord was thinking I'm not sure. I take homemaking seriously, but that doesn't mean I'm naturally good at the scrubbing parts.
7. He has this magical ability to remember something cool I mentioned six months ago and then produce it as a gift sometime after I've forgotten about it. Makes him seem almost prescient.
8. Well, one of us shouldn't be a scatterbrain.
9. Definitely more so than I do.
10. But I wanted to pick the furniture anyway?

Anonymous said...

Something to think about:

"The enemy is like a woman, weak in face of opposition, but correspondingly strong when not opposed. In a quarrel with a man, it is natural for a woman to lose heart and run away when he faces up to her; on the other hand, if the man begins to be afraid and to give ground, her rage, vindictiveness and fury overflow and know no limit."

--St. Ignatius Loyola

JCDaedalus said...

With regards to the multi-tasking:

I was an Air Traffic Controller during my stint in the Air Force (not the USAF); ATC is perhaps the definition of multi-tasking, but not of your "housewife" variety with vacuuming, suckling and watching the TV. No, this was multi-tasking in order to construct a mental 3D picture of the whole situation where you had to manage your airspace, departure and arrival times, coordination with radar facilities, ground traffic, helicopter traffic, repair of active runways, etc. This meant doing the following almost all at the same time: looking out at the airfield, looking at my computers, answering the phones while talking to pilots, communicating with my tower crew, updating critical aircraft information by the second since everything happens so quickly in the air. As my CO said on my first day: "No one is perfect, but in this job, you will have to be." One small screw-up and you lose millions of taxpayers' dollars at best, lives at worst.

I had a couple of female officers (2nd Lts mostly) and NCOs under my command, and it didn't take long to realise that the officers were, with only one exception, observably and constantly worse than their spear counterparts. The worst part of it was that this trope was played out in full by them, so they always had this air of superiority whenever they took the hot seat...until an aircraft emergency happens and the panic sets in visibly. Now, we're trained to shut down emotionally in such an event, forget the multi-tasking and follow our procedures to the letter, one step at a time. You'd think the focusing would have helped, but no: they would just freeze on the spot (I called it "Blue Screening") and had to be removed from control.

The NCOs were relatively much better, but that's because most of them had been trained from the ground up. You don't get promoted in the Enlisted Corps without being good, so it showed.

Brad Andrews said...

I would hate to have you driving a car anywhere near me if you can't multitask at al...

It can be overrated, but you need decent task switching abilities to survive in the modern world. Few of us can focus solely on a single thing to completion at a time.

Sounds a bit aspie to me rather than a good thing.

A Definite Beta Guy said...

I remember the day I decided I wasn't lazy. My brother was on the couch from his surgery. So I made him lunch, did some laundry, spilled something and cleaned it up, then made myself lunch, then fed the cat.

And it felt goooooooddddd. Rather than staring mindlessly at the screen, I was actually accomplishing something, and even helping people out!

Jump to work today. 800 claims, screen by screen...the most tedious, most boring, most repetitive work in the office, but something we have to do because our India team fucked up their organization and our books close soon. Someone's gotta do it and shit rolls down hill.
Didn't feel so good about that while I was working, even though I was accomplishing something.

There's not a lot of evidence to suggest that true multi-tasking is even possible let alone that it's actually GOOD. There is some evidence to suggest that doing a small mindless task while performing a stressful task DOES reduce stress. IE, chewing gum will take your mind off the drudgery.
This is why I listen to Ted talks while I work on drudgery.
When I am doing actual work, the kind that resolves a million dollars in one go, I don't listen to Ted Talks because I need full mental focus on the task.

But multi-taskers do report that they FEEL they accomplish more.

See: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/12/can-we-really-multitask-are-women-better-at-i/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A%20bakadesuyo%20%28Barking%20up%20the%20wrong%20tree%29

See also: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/if-multitasking-doesnt-work-why-do-we-do-it-s

Another feel-good myth with little basis in reality.

If you wish to "switch task" better, have a clearly defined end objective for one task, and when you finish it, keep in mind EXACTLY what you have to do NEXT for that task. Eg, if I am boiling water I know I have to fill up the water and turn on the stove and cover it and I know that EXACTLY. I know EXACTLY what I have to do next, which is to dump in spaghetti when it is boiling.

By knowing EXACTLY what to do, I am using a lot less mental energy DECIDING what to do (which is the most demanding process we can do!)

LibertyPortraits said...

@ Brad Andrews

Women (especially middle-aged) are consistently the worst drivers I've noticed on the road. Multi-tasking in a car is very dangerous because it reduces your reaction time. Drivers really should be focused on their driving, not on their cell phone, their coffee, how their hair looks in the mirror, or what the landscape looks like.

Kiwi the Geek said...

I can't imagine wanting a man to do any of those things except dance and buy gifts. And of course those aren't half as important as other skills.

"Vox, it would be both fun and educational if you polled your male readers and compiled a top 10 list of skills women lack. "

I second Stickwick.

Ron said...

Am I the only one here that feels like going up to the next woman I see and slapping her in the face?

Anonymous said...

"Am I the only one here that feels like going up to the next woman I see and slapping her in the face?"

That would be the mother lode of all ice breakers. Do you introduce yourself before or after this slap?

I'm teasing you, don't even try it, she'll probably call the cops. But yes, sometimes the stupid is so bad, I even want to slap myself.

Kyle said...

Relevant info: I work for a men's casual clothing company.

1.Buying clothes for partner: Easy. I have great style, and I know just the kind of clothes I'd like to see my girl wear.
2. Remembering anniversary: Don't see why this would be a problem.
3. Dancing: Guilty, I don't know a thing about this.
4. Ironing: I can iron just fine.
5. Cooking: I can cook some good food,.
6. Domestic chores: As a single man, my house is cleaner than every girls' house/room I've ever seen.
7. Buying gifts: Guilty. I'm a selfish jerk, I hate buying presents.
8. Multi-tasking: Meh.
9. Keeping up with fashion: I have much better fashion sense than most women. A western shirt, denim jacket, a good pair of raw jeans, and boots will never go out of style. Combined with a neatly-trimmed beard and haircut, I look great. If a girl complains, she's out of her mind.
10. Picking furniture: Guilty, maybe. But I don't own much furniture, anyway.

Dexter said...

I can't imagine wanting a man to do any of those things except dance and buy gifts.

I can easily imagine a man being very, very good at all those things on the list!

Just one thing... that highly skilled man is GAY.

Bob said...

Top Skills Women Lack.

The Ability to:

1. Shut the fuck up.
2. Grow the fuck up.
3. Stop being fucking selfish.
4. Start living in the real world and focus on real priorities, rather than a fucking fantasy land.
5. Take some fucking responsibility for herself.
6. Realise if all she has going for her is looks, she likely is, and will be "treated how she deserves".

Didn't even make it to 10, since they can't even do number 1, it's useless to bother. See, priorities!

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