Saturday, August 17, 2013

Librarian Game

This may be a bit over the top, being a comedy sketch, but it is nevertheless a very good illustration of the principles upon which the concept of "the neg" is based. Tearing down a woman's excessively inflated self-esteem can be an effective way of preemptively neutralizing her instinctive response to disqualify you.

Remember, attempted disqualification is the default response of a woman to every man she meets. And while there are a broad spectrum of ways in which a man can qualify himself to a woman, as the example of woman still upset about a serial killer's preference for her prettier childhood friend shows, the most powerful is to negate the significance of her opinion on the matter.


crazyivan498 said...

I laughed when he pointed to the dog and said "so basically your like him" Thought that was pretty good.

"Tearing down a woman's inflated self-esteem can be an effective way of preemptively neutralizing her attempts to disqualify you"

I would argue also that being a nice guy and disqualifying yourself not only disqualifies you for sex, but also from any position of power in that social group. Many times it has happened where I am in a group and make what I think is a good suggestion that is ignored by the group. Later on a more socially dominant person will make the same suggestion and suddenly the suggestion is a great idea and accepted by the group. In the past I would get all pissed off and grumble to myself how everyone is an idiot. Understanding game now, I accept my low social position. It has been difficult to be conscious of game theory in my social interactions and improving my social status. It is easy to fall back on old habits.

Bobby Dupea said...

A note on the book, and traditional publishing, rather than the dismantling of the woman in the smock:

It's an amusing irony that the industry, which depends on its 80% female market and their appetite for emotional porn, trades on its supply of emotional smut to fund the 20% of the list that can reasonably be called "writing."

One of the better poets of the post-WWII era is Robert Bly. His daughter, who holds a tenure spot at Fordham teaching Shakespeare from the perspective of a queer theorist, and has one (1) book length work of criticism to her name, actually spends her time and makes her money writing romance novels under the name of Eloise James.

It is the supply of Eloise James-quality prose to an audience of females in smocks that sustains any lingering capacity at a traditional house to even consider printing up a couple thousand copies of someone like Robert Bly. So I would say our fair maiden here is doing all of us a favor.

It's a little like discovering that Carneros also has an off-brand called "Santa Barbara Methanphetamines" to fund a few thousand cases each year of elegant pinot noir.

No comment on the likelihood of a man getting tenure at Fordham with exactly one (1) scholarly publication to his name, queer theorist or not.

Bobby Dupea said...

You can't make this up:

Yes, parents of Fordham children studying the bard, for $50K per year after tax fees, that bibliography reveals what their prof is really thinking about.

Bobby Dupea said...

Mary Bly's godfather was the great American poet James Wright, a Pulitzer winner for poetry. Wright's sons were taken from him in divorce; one of them is a friend and classmate, Franz, who also won the Pulitzer for poetry, in 2000 or thereabouts.

Here is James Wright's poem, "Having Lost My Sons, I Confront the Wreckage of the Moon: Christmas 1960".

Mary Bly is custodian of a great literary family's legacy. (Her mother, Carol Bly, wrote some wonderful, naturalist short stories of the Minnesota prairie, before turning her focus to THE PATRIARCHY.) One of Mary Bly/Eloisa James' signature titles is _When Beauty Tames the Beast_.

Seriously, if a manosphere protagonist wrote a satire of female literary activity, could he make this up? With a straight face?

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Anonymous said...

If the date doesn't work out, you can always take comfort in the fact the she will undoubtedly seek validation from a gamma friend who will be thankful for the temporary attention.

MacLaren said...

I found it amusing that she and the porcelain dog actually looked similar.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a British version of the male character from Portlandia.

Shame on Vox for being the latest to misdefine the neg (Mystery's definition is simply "a comment that a guy who was trying to curry favor with a girl would never say.") But what the hell. This is a nice, if really really strong, illustration of the sort of "you don't impress me just because you're a woman" inner-game attitude a dude needs to cultivate to be consistently successful with women today. I can tell you that girls today in the USA have hair triggers for any sense that you are admiring or

Now the secret to making it good game in the real world is to take away the snark and the overtly negative attitude, and try to deliver the signals of not-impressedness in a seemingly indifferent or even positive tone.

You DON'T need to be delivering insults on target. You DO need to give a little of that edge of "I might say something that pushes the envelope and I'm not going to apologize."

I like to go with a sort of nonchalance where I don't even react to some of the stuff she's trying to assert her value on. If anybody ever heard Tom Leykis' Jack-Benny esque rejoinder "rrrreeally" they know what I'm talking about.

If you are going to be projecting your nonchalance and unimpressed-ness, you'll want to prepare for the response with Roissy's latest post in which he defines rule #1 of social savviness as "don't get defensive." Be ready with some agree-and-amplify.

Bob said...

It's an amusing irony that the industry, which depends on its 80% female market and their appetite for emotional porn, trades on its supply of emotional smut to fund the 20% of the list that can reasonably be called "writing."
Yeah, while they attempt to block every aspect of male visual porn, (scenes featuring "simulated rape" is now illegal in Britain, but reading about a woman being tied up and having her tits hurt till they're marked is all fine of course).
Think it would be amusing if there was a movement to suggest blocking female "romance" novels, or moving them up to a top shelf and put in nondescript packaging. Because omfg think of the children! An unsuspecting innocent child who likes reading could easily pick up one of those books, and be exposed to all those scenes that would so corrupt them!

Of course it would be branded as an attack on female "art and expression" or some bollocks, but it would be amusing to see the double standard straight out.

"JDC said...
If the date doesn't work out, you can always take comfort in the fact the she will undoubtedly seek validation from a gamma friend who will be thankful for the temporary attention."

And therein lies the problem. Women ALWAYS have someone they can turn to, to satisfy any need. They lose nothing from any action.

Anonymous said...

If a woman is a narcissist why bother with her to begin with?

Anonymous said...

Also, I see no evidence that the woman in the video is egotistical, merely that this guy is a monster.

Bobby Dupea said...


He's certainly rude. Why is she so eager to go out with him? Puzzling.

Anonymous said...

well for one thing it's fiction. Secondly the woman in question is obviously sick in the head and desperate.

Anonymous said...

OT: I want to say thanks to Vox and everyone who comments here. My college son had a girlfriend I was not at all sure about and all of your comments led me to think a college man is the right age to inform about women and game. He grew up in a pretty conservative house and his Dad is squared away, but I told him he had to read two books this summer for fall tuition. "Dumbing Us Down" and "No More Mister Nice Guy". He was very appreciative, but the hilarious thing was? I was talking to my 20 something year old daughter who was being a complete beotch and the boy looks at me and says, "Mom? You really need to read that book you gave me!" He also broke up with the iffy girlfriend after he started reading it and told me it was because of the book. I never would have thought of it if it hadn't been for you guys, so thanks!

Markku said...

well for one thing it's fiction.

More than that, it's fiction of the sketch comedy sort - hence the tee-hees, guffaws and outright hee-haws that you hear. It's not supposed to be even representative of reality, but rather parody of reality.

What he does is to first dismantle her feeling of self-worth, so that she thinks nobody would ever want to go on a date with her. Which turns out to be merely a ruse, as he then offers, as if out of mercy, to go on a date with her. Because clearly no other man ever would.

This is taking the very real principles behind a neg to comically evil proportions.

Anonymous said...

Unless the girls ego is genuinely inflated(in which case you should just avoid her), I see no reason to demean them, even subtly or mildly.

Dystopic said...

Most women are narcissistic, or as Vox says frequently, solipsistic. It's a sort of default setting, I suppose. Taking that down a notch is an effective way of differentiating yourself.

Certainly you'd have better odds acting like this asshole librarian than playing the part of gamma houseplant.

Ron said...

Question: if I approach a cute girl and she gives me a look af contempt/disgust, waht can I do?

Revelation Means Hope said...

"What's the matter, sweetie, did you just fart?"

Unknown said...

I second Samuel. Unless the girl has a seriously inflated opinion of herself there's no need to be demeaning to her. And if you're going to do any cutting down, then you'd better be good at it or you'll just come off looking insecure.

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