Saturday, August 31, 2013

John Scalzi for BETA of the Month

Roissy has nominated John Scalzi as candidate #4: 
BOTM Candidate #4 was submitted by… well, by the universe. His name is: John Scalzi. *boom* And the mic gets dropped.

John Scalzi, for those of you who don’t know, is some kind of pulp sci-fi writer and avowed male feminist icon, two things which ought not go together, and which probably explains the dire condition of modern sci-fi. He recently was the unwilling subject of a funny male feminist meme when a prankster, (not CH, for the record, though if Scalzi wants to publicize his humiliation, why stop him?), grabbed a photo of him in his Sunday finest and hoisted him by his own retard.

First thing that comes to mind when I look at that pic is whether he stuffs his bra, or if that’s natural. Next thing I wonder is if he’s pregnant. And, finally, if the dog ate his inflated blog stats.

Scalzi was so butthurt by this misappropriation of his militant male effeminacy, that he struck back with a resounding declaration of how little he cared that people were calling him a feminist. I mean, come on, the guy’s got 20,000 acres to sow his domesticated oats. How many acres do you own?

(How faggoty do you have to be to use a term like “dudebro”?)

Scalzi’s nom for BOTM was the result of his life’s work in support of a national gelding project for white men. Here, for instance, is Scalzi declaiming that anyone who mocks his milquetoast feminist orthodoxy is a “woman-fearing moron”. And here is his infamous “anti-racism” Yankee Poodle status-whoring heretic-hunting gibberish comparing life as a white man to a video game on the lowest difficulty setting. (Anyone know the racial composition of Scalzi’s neighborhood?)

Regarding that last linked post, if you plan to communicate with a eunuch nerd such as Scalzi, you have to speak the language of the eunuch nerd. Now it’s been a long time since I tapped a video game for love, but I recall that playing an RPG-style game on the easiest setting meant that you would earn experience points more slowly than a player playing at a higher difficulty setting. You would also earn less treasure, and less valuable treasure. So I suppose what our eunuch nerd is trying to say is that non-whites advance faster in their careers and make more money.

Of course, Scalzi’s whole premise is garbage of the smelliest kind, but that’s to be expected from a PC-drenched eunuch nerd who refuses to acknowledge that races differ biologically and thus that any resulting “privilege” one race has over another in a culture full of vibrant diversity is an organically emergent phenomenon necessarily caused by differing innate abilities. Never mind the broader implications undermining this “anti-privilege” moral posturing that nations are, almost by definition, political structures designed to privilege its citizens over non-citizens. And that, as families and individuals, we all are trying our best to privilege us and ours over everyone else. To do otherwise would be folly. Scalzi, perhaps you’d like to forfeit your privileged 20 acres for a mule?

Some may recall that Scalzi was the inspiration for this term of art coined by yours truly, (although King A has his crackpot legal team assembled to prove he deserves equal coinage credit): 

  • Scalzied is similar to being afflicted with palsy. The body and mind contort to accommodate delusional pabulum.

Instead of picking one nauseatingly trademark example of Scalzi’s betatude from among the mountain of betatudination he has amassed, a feat which would require an immense amount of man hours, (a concept with which Scalzi, as a lurching nerd member in slouched standing of the Ascended Testes Society, would have no familiarity), the entire oeuvre of his betatude is here presented for consideration of his rightful place on the Throne of Manboobs. May he wear his crown of tampons well.
Kim du Toit argues, not completely unconvincingly, that Scalzi is ineligible, since "the BOTM is always about #2, because Scalzi is the Lifetime Achievement Award Beta (i.e. perpetual #1 BOTM)."  And it's hard to argue with that.

But despite making a serious effort, I can't, in good conscience, vote for McRapey.  I think the honor has to go to BOTM Candidate #3, as I suspect that even Scalzi has enough testosterone in him to walk away after his wife cheats on him a few dozen times and it is readily observed that he can't even conceive of forgiving anyone who triggers his abandonment issues by bruising his tender, swollen ego.

Sadly for McRapey, he's presently running in second place with 251 votes, ahead of Divorced Advice Guy but well behind the boyfriend of Miss N=100,000.


Denton said...

As the owner of several lovely standard poodles, all of whom hunt, I have to object to that Yankee Poodle comment. No standard deserves that.

IrishFarmer said...

I voted for Scalzi for two reasons. One, he proselytizes his betatude and attempts to infect others with it, so at the very least the cuckold master is keeping his misery to himself.

And two, I didn't believe the cuckold story. The numbers crunched over at CH put her at having sex as a full time job, which might be possible (MAYBE) if she was beautiful, but she's a beached land whale. She can't afford to pay all of those guys to bump her uglies for her.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

Had to go with #5. That one also reminded me of the "Dear Prudence" garbage that was posted a while back.

A friend of mine had a fraternity brother whose girlfriend was going to join a cheerleader squad for a pro-football team (I can't recall which). He told her that if she wanted to stay with him, she couldn't do that. She left him, but no blamed him for letting her go, except maybe her.

VD said...

Yeah, I once dumped a girl when she took a job as a cigarette girl at a strip club downtown. Needless to say, it took her about two weeks to realize that she'd make a lot more money without her clothes on and start taking them off.

redlegben said...

I voted for Scalzi. It is usually the #2 vote because he is the belt holder, however his recent escapades have to be recognized for their achievement in Manboobery.

tz said...

Voted for Scalzi. Also noted TQ (testosterone quotient) can be negative. Eunuchs are zero, so any comparison is an insult to them.

tz said...

If the universe were just and the Devil given his due, Scalzi's wife would discover she was a lesbian, and he would surgically adapt himself.

Here is my theory (with apologies to a local comic-magician whom I'm shamelessly plagiarizing).

He's feminine. But he likes girls.

I know, Scalzi is a lesbian trapped in a man's body!

mmaier2112 said...

How y'all can pick something OTHER than the chick looking to get 100K strange penises inside of her box is beyond me.

VD said...

How y'all can pick something OTHER than the chick looking to get 100K strange penises inside of her box is beyond me.

Perhaps you are discounting the high probability that it is complete fiction.

Anonymous said...

Kim du Toit is an aspie atheist, my own personal Me So Michelle.

Whatever you do, don't bring up religious beliefs as to why some conservatives might not be gung ho on torturing the h3ll outta scary brown muslims.

tz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tz said...

@Vox - consider that the Polish Chick (being 3/4 Polish and having had to deal with women of the pole I might know something) might have her rationalization hamster burn out the bearings and is substituting quantity for quality in her pursuit of hypergamy. This after concluding that quality is going to be difficult (in the feminized Europe, and I don't think Islamic men have yet invaded Poland).

mmaier2112 said...

Eh, fair enough. I read it as IF it's true, here are your choices.

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