Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Because they can

And because it is a lot easier than excelling at one's job. A woman asks why women still have sex with their superiors at work:
There’s a long and distinguished list of stupid boy things I’ve done over the years, but boffing my boss isn’t one of them. Actually, that’s not quite true. When I was 17 I started going out with my former manager at the branch of the well-known fast food chain we both worked at (golden arches anyone?). However, he’d already left to work in a call centre before we got together, so I don’t think it counts. Either way, I certainly didn’t get an extra star for my efforts.

Anyway, all my grown-up jobs have been in the female-dominated world of women’s publishing, so whether through lack of opportunity or design, I’ve never slept with my boss.

It’s possible I’m behind the curve here – in 2010, the US-based Centre For Work Life-Policy found that 15 per cent of women, even at executive level or above, admitted to sleeping with their boss. Just as tellingly, 37 per cent of workers surveyed felt that those women who had slept with their superiors improved their career chances by doing so.
If 15 percent admit it, you can be certain that the real number is closer to 45 percent.  Women have sex with their superiors for two reasons.  The first is hypergamy.  They want the situational alpha, and at the office, in most cases, that is the boss.  The second is preferential treatment.  Women know perfectly well that the easiest way to get ahead is to have sex with the person who is in charge of making decisions.  Those who can act on it often will.

And this is simply one more reason why the concept of workplace equality is an incoherent impossibility.

This is an area of Game that hasn't been much explored, but perhaps it could be called Executive Game.  Arrange to put yourself in a position of power over women and you will magically become more attractive to them.  Of course, it is a game fraught with danger, from women who receive preferential treatment but want more, to women who don't receive it and want it, and women who don't receive it, don't want it, but resent it being given to others.

46 comments:

DrTorch said...

Of course, it is a game fraught with danger, from women who receive preferential treatment but want more, to women who don't receive it and want it, and women who don't receive it, don't want it, but resent it being given to others.

Uh and your WIFE. Duh.

DC Al Fine said...

the US-based Centre For Work Life-Policy found that 15 per cent of women, even at executive level or above, admitted to sleeping with their boss.

Reason #687835 why your wife should stay home with the kids.

Bullitt315 said...

And the fallout if they get caught? Boss gets fired and the women has secured a sexual harassment lawsuit if she gets fired.

Sigyn said...

Sleeping with their bosses? BEFORE quitting and getting married to them?

Boy, no wonder they're not breaking through the glass ceiling. No negotiation skills AT ALL.

Brendan said...

100% correct. In my own experience observing this (and I'm sure there's been more of it that has gone under the radar screen of my observation) at work, it's a split between women who are opportunists, and women who are simply attracted to their boss because he is a situational alpha (and they spend all their time at work). In the cases I have observed, most of the former are situations where the boss is not very alpha, even though he's the boss (and the subordinate female is likely one of the most attractive, if not the most attractive, woman he has ever had that kind of access to), whereas the latter are situations where the boss, in additional to being a "structural" alpha as the boss, also has other alpha qualities that make him objectively attractive (which are enhanced, of course, by the structural alpha situation).

Martel said...

@ Scott: "And the fallout if they get caught? Boss gets fired and the women has secured a sexual harassment lawsuit if she gets fired."

And if she doesn't get caught, it's many tingles and a possible promotion.

Will Best said...

I understand why women do it by why would a man sleep with his subordinates unless he is a C-level exec or owner and thus doesn't answer to anybody when the company eats the inevitable sexual harassment suit.

Why get screwed out of your job and by extension your home over a woman you haven't even married.

Anonymous said...

This is something that, at least in my neck of the woods in the American midwest, is kept well hidden among those practicing it. I am sure it still goes on in pockets here and there, but it is extremely well concealed. All participants are excruciatingly discreet.

It's usually not a quid pro quo explicitly. In my experience the subordinate woman usually expresses romantic interest in her boss. It appears genuine for a while. Then when she gets the desired result at work, she suddenly loses interest and she breaks it off with him. She now has the boss right where she wants him. He dare not say anything. If he's married, he'll be found out if he protests too loudly and word will get back to his wife. Even if he's not married, he's scared to death of losing his job because he knows his conduct exposed him and his company to sexual harassment liability. She slept with him; a few months later she got the raise/promotion. Under US law as it currently exists, there simply could not be a clearer case of quid pro quo sexual harassment.

---deti

BuenaVista said...

If only my ex-wife's boss would sleep with her, prior to her threatening armageddon if he doesn't marry her.

More seriously, I've turned down more post-divorce nooky at work than I care to recall. Even so, these numbers shock me. I definitely agree that an admitted 15% is a shadow of what the real number is; it's another one of those issues that induce cognitive dissonance on the feminists side, such as "I just want to marry a nice guy and stroll hand-in-hand on sunset-bathed beaches...". For some reason feminism doesn't teach that a female employee should use "every weapon at her disposal." But.They.Do.

John Williams said...

And this is simply one more reason why the concept of workplace equality is an incoherent impossibility.
Now lets apply this to the battlefield.

Martel said...

@ ajw: On the battlefield it's even more important. See my comment here: (5th one down)

http://academywatch.blogspot.tw/2013/05/the-invisible-perpetrators.html

Yohami said...

Executive game, been there done that. Fuck everyone, give preferential treatment to none.

tz said...

They don't want the husband to be the boss at home, but will sleep with the boss at work.

However, breakups might be hard, maintaining the harem worse. We do have the EEOC, and anything like this would be harassment (remember the hamster will spin the wheel the other way so the seduction becomes threats, etc.).

Or as has been said many times before "Women ruin everything". Including the workplace.

David said...

This is something I never see at work...it must be well-hidden. Although most of the women in the office are middle-aged, could that reduce the percentages?

There is one yearly conference where hundreds of employees are flown to a remote location for training for a few days. I have heard in the past some things like that would go on at the conference before my time attending it but it seems much less wild now that the company has gotten larger.

Anonymous said...

Firearm game works. It conveys power. The protecte chicks at work get all lubed up too. Sure they are NGO hippie chicks but it's men with guns they flirt with

Joe Blow said...

There is a certain amount of sociopathy that goes with being Alpha, and maybe moreso with being Sigma. But a little sociopathy is distinguishable from mental retardation, which is the only reason I can see for jeopardizing a lucrative career in order to get some nookie. After all, if you are senior enough to draw more than isolated female attention, and if all women are more or less equal, why would you gamble your career on a woman you wouldn't bother buying a drink in a bar? The cost seems a bit high.

Anonymous said...

slighty OT but: Vox why do you have a link to susan walsh's page here? I find them less agreeable than feminists.

Jacob Ian Stalk said...

No self-respecting boss should ever even consider a dalliance with a female subordinate who is not his wife unless he likes the idea of sliding astride down a razor blade. The Female Imperative, with feminism fanning its eternal flame, entirely overwhelms the short-term slash-and-burn benefits of Game. Thankfully, the four indestructible and evergreen oak trees in the forest are in the male domain - truth, moral autonomy, responsibility and honour. Sexual success is trivial; these pillars of society are not.

earl said...

Never dip your pen in company ink.

Unless you hate your job.

Anonymous said...

"The second is preferential treatment. Women know perfectly well that the easiest way to get ahead is to have sex with the person who is in charge of making decisions. Those who can act on it often will."

And that's how I got cornered into quitting my job 2 weeks ago. New girl, all T & A, she is all cozy with the boss who happens to be the owner, she complains about how I'm not friends with her, 3 conseling sessions later, I tell them to shove their job up their asses. At the time of my resignation, I'm offered 2 weeks pay, one week later, when I actually go in to sign documents like the COBRA offering, I see 8.5 wks of severance, plus vacation. I run it past an attorney and at best, I can sue HER for depriving me of a job through her actions, and in turn, since she can't finacially afford to defend, squeeze the owners, but I'm taking my gift horse given and walking away. It's gonna suck for them when they see how mercenary she is and if she doesn't file a sexual harassment lawsuit within the next year, I'll be surprised.

Anonymous said...

"Never get your meat the same place you get your bread."

RP-in-TX said...

Eighteen years ago I was told I was being assigned a new employee - I was roughly a regional manager. In walked a tall leggy smoking 20 year old brunette. Interpersonal relations were definitely frowned upon at that company, but on her second day there we spent the whole shift flirting and then I kissed her in my office.

We've been happily married for 16 years and have two kids. I'm glad I used the company ink. Geez, it was just a job guys. Real life is more important than a job.

Jack Amok said...

Situational Alpha is right when you're talking about the woman quoted in the link.

A McDonalds supervisor turned call center employee isn't exactly "Executive" game.

And she holds herself out as a paragon of virtue.

Retrenched said...

"If my dad didn't sexually harass my mom, I wouldn't be here today." -- Chris Rock

Harris said...

My ex-wife torpedoed our 20 year marriage by boffing the boss. She got a promotion to Vice President, and a $90,000 per year raise in pay out of it. When I confronted her over her cellphone records, she moved out of the house in a Power play thinking I would crumble. I filed for divorce the next day - which really took the wind out of her sails. When I stood up to her attempt to run roughshod over me, she suddenly wanted to come back (and not pay the child support for 3 kids.) With 20 years invested, I let her back in the house for about a week before she started demanding I change to suit her, at which point, I packed her bags and threw her ass back out of the house.

About 9 months later, the Courts gave her custody of the kids, and I was out on my ass.

jestin ernest said...

if you WANT to play 'Executive Game', get into restaurant management.

i've had two acquaintences with extensive time in food service and they've both told me that the poonany is easy and widely available. also usually young.

Ivan Poland said...

I had a friend I'm college that (while it was not called this then) started to black knight college profs that were banging his female students. He threatened to sue the college for sexual discrimination arguing that since he was not a woman (and not gay) that he did not have the same quick path to an A. The college caved, gave him his tuition back and offered to pay for another class the next term.

VryeDenker said...

"if you WANT to play 'Executive Game', get into restaurant management.

i've had two acquaintences with extensive time in food service and they've both told me that the poonany is easy and widely available. also usually young. "

We had this joke at the restaurant I worked at: Q: How many employees does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Trick question. They don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in the store room.

tz said...

Slightly ot.:
hamster vision

Aeoli Pera said...

This is an area of Game that hasn't been much explored, but perhaps it could be called Executive Game. Arrange to put yourself in a position of power over women and you will magically become more attractive to them. Of course, it is a game fraught with danger, from women who receive preferential treatment but want more, to women who don't receive it and want it, and women who don't receive it, don't want it, but resent it being given to others.

Funny situation here at the low end of the pay scale...(this being the left hand of the bell curve, most of the mid-level managers are women)

Usually the organization at minimum wage is seriously dumb guys (and gals, though fewer), less dumb trainers and sectional managers (or similar), and general managers who are functioning adults.

I'd add from observation that Murray's stratification is getting more perfect each year. You don't find a lot of dysfunctional or stupid Walmart general managers anymore. Usually middle-class white men, occasionally middle-class women.

Anyway, when these situational alphas leave for an extended period, things get a little crazy. The second-level chickens, 95% of whom are ladies*, start going nuts. Unbalanced. It's that particular feminine sort of crazy where they're just angry and scared and sad all at once, and they want their Alpha back so he can fix everything.

My current theory is that their menstrual cycles are going out of whack. Suddenly, there are no men** around. Their body agendas are acting like they're all back off their birth control pills.

*The rest are disproportionately gay.
**Defined according to fem-logic.

Aeoli Pera said...

VryeDenker is right. Restaurant management is a miserable business, but you can find a lot young girls giving it away for free. Their body agendas probably assume that Mr. Situational Alpha is their ticket out.

Joe Blow said...

>>>Geez, it was just a job guys. Real life is more important than a job.

Lose a shipping department job, that's one thing. But put 20+ years of your life into schooling, another 15-20 years into climbing the ladder by a combination of hard work and ass sniffing if you're an Alpha, or hard work and guerilla tactics if you're a Sigma, and then come back and tell me that a harassment lawsuit or ugly dismissal that cost me my job and in all likelihood my law license / clients / house / cars / boat / other toys / and social standing would just be losing a job. Bullshit. That'd amount to losing the better chunk of my life thus far, with dimmed prospects going forward.

Leaving a job under those circumstances would make a divorce look cheap, since a divorce is costly but it doesn't have a terrible impact on your long term earning potential.

Banging somebody at the office is fun and lord knows it's a target rich environment, it may possibly be a good place to meet a spouse if that's what you have in mind for your life. But it's not something I'd recommend if you have anything to lose and the more senior you are, the worse it reflects on the one trait senior people are paid for, their ability to exercise good judgment.

Anonymous said...

Joe Blow -
Dude, he said "job," not "career." You're talking about something completely different.

tz said...

Although I don't care much for Return of Kings, a recent post managed to exceed even my usual level of allegory:

The modern woman is like a toilet in the coach section of an airplane – wait one moment, and you will find her occupied, with a long queue of men waiting to get in; and her condition will only worsen with time.

VryeDenker said...

I'm sorry, but there's no sex in the world so good that I'd be willing to pay $325 000 a year for it.

Anonymous said...

After a few years of managing - dating any more than one level below on the hierarchy is considered a DLV, just too easy, like hitting on a slow girl at a bus stop. Second, managerial stressing adds a lot to the equation.

My star female employees don't get all googly, they understand that their job is safe and get constant positive reinforcement. On the other side, the threat and judgment that comes with negative reinforcement or correction seems to be quite charming,

Big Nick Digger said...

The beautiful part about screwing your boss is that they HAVE to give you a promotion.

If he doesn't, the woman just sends an anonymous email to Compliance saying that "Mr. Boss is screwing some woman in the Department and it is sexually harassing to me."

Compliance investigates, the guy gets fired, and the woman may get a promotion anyway .. to HIS now-empty job!

She is immune to any punishment. Screwing a boss to get ahead is actionable by the OTHER women who feel cheated, yet the woman doing the screwing is never, ever fired. You would think they would both be fired since both are subverting the promotion rules.

It really is brilliant the way the feminists have worked this out.

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