We started dating when I was 19. This was the second guy I ever kissed. Aside from all the emotional stuff that went on, the physical stuff (sort of sex?) was…Really Good. Ok, so I pretty much went from 0 to 500 in this relationship, and have no real basis of comparison, but as far as I can tell, sex type stuff was really good for both of us. Emotionally: good to ok to godawful. Chemistry: through the roof...."I called later that night...." That says it all right there. No matter how much information the individual with the short end of the stick has, they always seek more. Why? Because they need more in order to rationalize away the information they already have! If you're seeking for "clarification" or trying to "understand" or think that a "conversation" is needed, congratulations. You're the one without hand.
The guy is a starving musician trying to make it big and currently has a harem of six, not counting the ONS. She asked me to play nice. So, Monday, we were all in the same place at the same time. I’m so much on edge that I can barely think straight, but I did my best to be friendly. Boy tries to give me (and assorted other female types) a hug before he goes; I take a step back. Boy asked if he could call me to get a cup of coffee next time he’s in town. I said: ok.I called later that night because I wanted to understand what his intentions were.
This is why it is a total waste of time to attempt talking anyone out of a situation where they are being used/abused by an individual of higher SMV. They already know the situation, they just don't want to accept it. Of course, if you're the higher SMV individual, this shows the correct way to keep a lower SMV chewtoy on the string: just throw them something with which to rationalize every so often.
Do that and it doesn't matter what you do the rest of the time. The rationalization hamster will take it from there.
28 comments:
Why? Because they need more in order to rationalize away the information they already have!
Yeah, that's called hope. Most people who aren't dead inside or autistic go for these long shots from time to time. Usually, almost always, it ends up badly. Many times very badly. But ultimately it makes for a fuller life. Bean counters don't get it, they're always looking at the loss potential, but in an important way, they are ultimately poorer.
So it is a purely binary thing? I doubt it. Yes, the cutoff may be somewhat distinct, but most human things are a spectrum, not an integral value.
Lesson of the post:
Being a starving musician is a thousand times better for your balls than being the Head of Product Design in a multinational company (not me)..., or a brain surgeon...
Another lesson:
The kid studying in a STEM field, starts calling himself Photographer after buying a low level entry Canon DSLR and a 50 euro flash, does not even mention STEM anymore.
The kid is doing something right.
Great post, I've been this person in the past, and it's incredible to see how completely hopeless my situation was when I look back on it now.
"Yeah, that's called hope. Most people who aren't dead inside or autistic go for these long shots from time to time. Usually, almost always, it ends up badly. Many times very badly. But ultimately it makes for a fuller life. Bean counters don't get it, they're always looking at the loss potential, but in an important way, they are ultimately poorer."
No, that's called self-delusion.
"Being a starving musician is a thousand times better for your balls than being the Head of Product Design in a multinational company (not me)..., or a brain surgeon..."
Are you fucking kidding me? No. The lesson is that it's better to be a starving musician with some game than a brain surgeon with no game.
An Alpha Widow in the making.
Imagine you're the guy who hooks up with this girl when she's 30 and thinks she's a well adjusted 'quality woman' ready for marriage. And all the while she's still wondering what became of that wonderful musician. *sigh*
Emotionally: good to ok to godawful. Chemistry: through the roof....
Emotional roller coaster (fun, passion, and dread) = chemistry
Although I think shocking harshness is about the only thing that works on the redeemable delta or gamma, I don't see what is so hard to believe about their stupidity or ignorance.
After all, the 1st world, heavily "educated" is almost entirely populated by people who believe that the economy improves as the debt load grows. Recognized leading "intellectuals" tend to have an IQ cluster in the 105-125 range. Heck, debt-funded university sprawl is knifing new adults in both eyes, financially, emotionally and intellectually in countless ways.
Deltas and gammas should in no way be unbelievable. What is unbelievable is that even with all this social engineering running on autopilot and snagging the immature into all variety of lifelong pitfalls, there are so few gammas and deltas in the world, even if they make up 80% of the male population.
The machine is designed to produce these guys, and it is failing 20% of the time.
Yeah, she sounds exactly like the female equivalent of the beta orbiter.
At least she's getting some hot sexy fun times for her troubles; the orbiter doesn't even get that.
Six spinning plates for this douchebag beta musician with a half scrap of game?
Hilarious. If this was an isolated case I wouldn't worry but this is how most women are. I'm going to teach my kid that he can be the plate spinner, or the plate, but he's gotta make the call.
No, this isn't about hope. If you go read her whole letter, it's clear that she knows the guy just wants sex, but she wants it too, and she's hoping people will talk her out of it. She might be "hoping" people will give her the green light to rationalize it, but that's not the same thing as starting a new relationship with someone knowing there will be ups and downs and hoping for the best. Real hope is when the thing you're hoping for has a real chance of happening. This guy is a known quantity.
Six spinning plates for this douchebag beta musician with a half scrap of game?
You know, I've been studying this stuff for several years now, and used it effectively myself, and it still amazes me sometimes. I wonder if I'll ever really get used to just how strong the hamster is, and how powerful game is in response to it.
C'mon, Vox, Cail, it is obvious this woman doesn't want advice, she wants confirmation. She doesn't want some man telling her what a slut she is becoming, she wants some person to tell her how this is all going to work out just like that movie on Lifetime the other night.
She's made up her mind, she wants someone else to agree with her.
I would have said that from the snippet here, but in the comments over there she seems to be getting more clear-headed about it as people tell her the truth.
That's not to say she won't get a text from him tonight and forget everything and run to his place and get on her knees. I'd still bet even money on that. But as of now, she seems to be looking for help in resisting, not in giving in.
What is unbelievable is that even with all this social engineering running on autopilot and snagging the immature into all variety of lifelong pitfalls, there are so few gammas and deltas in the world, even if they make up 80% of the male population.
Right, because eschewing the prevailing economic models for some pie in the sky Austrian variant and a pair of tea party tights is the mark of an alpha.
http://m.kotaku.com/5964584/how-diablo-iii-told-me-my-marriage-was-over
Fantastic example of the rationalization hamster at work.
"he's not the one because he let my diablo character die!"
Women derive support for the choices they've already made by listening to the words they put in the mouths of others.
Even with internet strangers they have been conditioned to expect "you go, you special girl" in response.
How pathetic this young woman is. I had a former grade school friend like her in my teens. Basically volunteered to be used and abused by any guy in a band ... and the bandmates. She signed up for constant humiliations, venereal diseases and I'm assuming abortions as well. Why do so many men talk about easy sex as a good thing? It's degrading to all...and the diseases and dead babies along the way are not an indication of "fun" being had here. It's the road to hell.
The Mythical War on Men.
Welmer put up a good post on that article.
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/11/30/cnn-summons-michael-kimmel-to-discredit-suzanne-venker/
Proverbs covers it well,
Retrenched said...
Welmer put up a good post on that article.
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/11/30/cnn-summons-michael-kimmel-to-discredit-suzanne-venker/
Thanks for the link, Retrenched...good to see someone put this tool back in the toybox where he belongs.
Rollo: An Alpha Widow in the making.
Indeed. This is why whenever someone asks, "What about all the innocent girls that are going to end up as collateral damage? What about all the good girls that are going to get hurt?" I just laugh.
While we're on the topic of having high SMV, one thing I've noticed by my own accord is that when a girl has a crush on me, when she's "trying" to be committed to her boyfriend with a lower SMV than myself, she won't even look me in the eye when she is around her boyfriend. She does not entirely ignore me, but she tries to act unimpressed unless I'm doing something that shows a ton of value - i.e. telling a story that everyone is listening to. I don't know if every single woman on the planet does this, but it's happened to me three times in about the last five months as my game has gotten a lot better. I wouldn't be surprised if it's pretty much a universal act when a girl knows that you are better than her BF, but isn't going out of her way to end the relationship.
"You know, I've been studying this stuff for several years now, and used it effectively myself, and it still amazes me sometimes. I wonder if I'll ever really get used to just how strong the hamster is, and how powerful game is in response to it."
I am in the same boat. It still shocks me how much more desireable I am when I am itinerantly unreliable, non-complimentary, and flippantly forward than when I was Mr Available and Nice. I am not a douchebag, but I triage my beta traits and women eat it up. Some of my friends growing up got this early, and seem to be cool with it; I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with it.
Another thing that keeps shocking me is how powerful fame works on women - even completely synthetic, value-free fame that has nothing to do with anything that matters can drive women crazy with desire.
The real problem for people like Susan Walsh who want to get women into good relationships is that the women need to WANT the good relationships, and so many (especially young women) do not, they want the excitement and unpredictability more than the actual relationship concept. Thus beta men learn to ape the traits of the alpha men, and we truly are in the era of total douchebag domination. Because seriously, why should a guy wait years for girls to start wanting his beta offerings when he can learn to be a jerk and she'll blow him that night?
My first real deployment of dominant-contempt game was on a married coworker in front of her husband at a party - I told her in so many words that she was being a whiny princess and better shape up, and her eyes lit up like Times Square. It was a stark demonstration to me of the power of hitting the emotional buttons instead of the rational ones.
facepalm said...
What is unbelievable is that even with all this social engineering running on autopilot and snagging the immature into all variety of lifelong pitfalls, there are so few gammas and deltas in the world, even if they make up 80% of the male population.
Right, because eschewing the prevailing economic models for some pie in the sky Austrian variant and a pair of tea party tights is the mark of an alpha.
And slavishly following the repeatedly wrong economic theories of a known homosexual and possibly pedophile is?
Cail
I would have said that from the snippet here, but in the comments over there she seems to be getting more clear-headed about it as people tell her the truth.
And?
That's not to say she won't get a text from him tonight and forget everything and run to his place and get on her knees. I'd still bet even money on that. But as of now, she seems to be looking for help in resisting, not in giving in.
Words. Actions. Choose one to pay attention to, ignore the other.
And slavishly following the repeatedly wrong economic theories of a known homosexual and possibly pedophile is?
Judging by personal habits, Hitler was a saint. Anyway, most women don't know the difference, they're only interested in how it sounds.
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